a broken drizzle of spring [p]

**iliri** · #1 September 15th, 2024, 03:33 PM

The sky overhead was a storm waiting to break, heavy clouds swirling together in an ominous mass, the wind picking up with each passing moment, biting at Springlight’s fur as she pushed through the thick underbrush of the canopy forest. Her paws were raw from days of travel, her legs aching with fatigue, but she didn’t stop. She couldn’t stop. Her breath came in short, ragged bursts, each one a reminder of how far she had come—and how far she still had to go. She needed to find shelter, a place to hide, somewhere to rest her exhausted body and clear her fogged mind, but the forest stretched out endlessly before her, its darkened branches swaying in the wind like claws reaching out to ensnare her. Biting winds of panic gnawed at her, urging her forward even though her body screamed for rest. Just a little farther, she had told herself, her thoughts just as scattered as the leaves being whipped around her. Just a little farther, and I’ll be safe. But safety felt like an illusion. It had been only a few weeks since she had managed to escape the twisted prison that had once held her—the greenhouse that The Oracle and his family had claimed as their home. The memory of that place was like a shadow over her heart lingering in the fresh corners of her mind no matter how hard she tried to push it away. The days she had spent there were a blur of fear and manipulation, her mind still struggling to piece together the full scope of what had happened. The Oracle had been smooth with his words, a master of twisting the truth until it was unrecognizable, and Springlight had been too vulnerable, too desperate, to see through his lies at first.

He had found her after an accidental run-in, taking her in under the guise of kindness, but it had been a ruse. Before she realized what was happening, she had been ensnared in his web, forced to help him and his twisted family. Her memory of those days was foggy, not just from the emotional trauma she bore, but from the effects of the strange plant they had forced her to consume for their strange ways, the lies they foretold of its purpose still leaving a painful sting in her heart. The Oracle’s family used that plant for their own sinister purposes, and while Springlight had tried to avoid it, there had been moments where she had been too weak to resist as the only option they would give to her was an painfully agonizing execution. The plant had left her mind clouded, her memories fragmented, as though someone had taken a piece of her life and shredded it into incoherent pieces til it wasn't even memorable. She remembered enough to know what had happened—how she had been manipulated into helping their sick and injured, how she had assisted Valora, The Oracle’s mate, in giving birth to her kits—but the full picture eluded her. And now, worst of all, she was carrying kits of her own, forced upon her by circumstances she hadn’t been able to escape. Axmed had been different from the rest of them, though. He wasn’t like his father, neither cruel nor manipulative. He had escaped with her, his own desperation driving him to flee the twisted family that had claimed his life for so long since he was a kit. But once they had managed to escape, they had gone their separate ways, both too burdened by their own traumas to stay together—Axmed unknowingly being a father to this litter the molly was forced to bear. Springlight didn’t know where he was now, and she didn’t have the energy to care.

All she could think about was survival—finding somewhere to hide, somewhere to cope, somewhere to figure out what her next move would be. The wind howled through the trees, and as the first droplets of rain began to fall, cold and biting against her thick fur, Springlight’s desperation grew. She needed to find shelter, and fast. Her legs were trembling with exhaustion, her paws slipping on the wet leaves as the ground became slick beneath her. She pushed through a particularly dense patch of undergrowth, her heart racing aggressively in her chest, until finally, she spotted it—a hollowed-out tree nestled between two large boulders. The opening was narrow, but it would be enough to shield her from the worst of the storm. Relief washed over her, a momentary reprieve from the panic that had been gnawing at her for days. She stumbled toward it, her legs barely holding her up as she squeezed inside, curling her body into the small, cramped space. The air inside the hollow was damp and smelled of earth and decay, but it was dry, and that was all that mattered. Springlight pressed herself against the rough bark, her heart still pounding in her chest, her breath coming in shallow gasps. The sound of the rain pounding against the boulders outside was deafening, but here, inside this little refuge, she was safe. At least for now. She tried to calm her racing thoughts, but the fog in her mind was relentless, memories of the greenhouse flashing in and out of focus, mixing with the present until she could barely tell where one ended and the other began. She closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep, but sleep didn’t come easily. It never did.

Her mind drifted back to ThunderClan, to the life she had been forced to leave behind. The image of the camp filled her thoughts, a painful reminder of everything she had lost. She hadn’t wanted to leave. She had been forced to. And now, with the weight of everything that had happened pressing down on her, she didn’t know if she could ever return. The guilt of her pregnancy was overwhelming, a constant ache in her chest. She didn’t want these kits. She hadn’t asked for them. But now, they were a part of her, whether she wanted them to be or not. The rain outside continued to fall, the steady rhythm lulling her into a state of exhaustion, and finally, after what felt like hours, sleep claimed her. When Springlight opened her eyes again, she was standing in the center of ThunderClan’s camp. The rain was gone, the sky clear and bright, but there was something off about the scene before her. The camp was quiet—too quiet. The usual hustle and bustle of clan life was absent, replaced by an eerie stillness that sent a chill down her spine. Her eyes darted around, taking in the familiar sights—the warriors’ den, the nursery, the fresh-kill pile—but everything was wrong. It was as if the camp was frozen in time, devoid of life and movement. Her heart began to race, panic rising in her chest as she took a tentative step forward. Is this real? Or am I still dreaming?

As she moved further into the clearing, her eyes were drawn to the entrance of a den on the far side of the camp. Standing there, close towards the middle of camp, bathed in the soft light of the sun, was a figure she knew all too well—Drizzlecloud. Her former mentor and aunt. Springlight’s breath caught in the midst of her throat, her legs trembling beneath her as she stared at the older molly, almost unable to believe what she was seeing. Drizzlecloud looked nearly exactly as she had when Springlight had last seen her before she went missing, her spotted gray fur sleek and well-groomed, her green eyes as calm and knowing as ever. But something about her was different, something Springlight couldn’t quite place. Her heart pounded aggressively in her chest, the sight of the older feline stirring a whirlwind of emotions that she had been trying to bury for weeks. Drizzlecloud… The name echoed in her mind, a beacon of hope in the storm of her foggy thoughts. Tears welled up in her eyes as she took a step forward, her legs shaking with the effort. "Drizzlecloud?" she whispered, her voice barely audible, choked with emotion. The calico felt vulnerable, almost exposed the longer she stood in front of the former medicine cat. Springlight’s breath hitched as she took another step, her body moving on instinct, desperate to reach the one cat who had always been there for her, who had always guided her through the darkest times throughout their reign as medicine cats.

Warm, salty tears spilled down her cheeks, her remaining vision blurring as she stumbled forward, her legs trembling and her voice breaking as she spoke. "I… I-I don’t know what to do," she choked out, her voice trembling with the weight of everything she had been holding inside for the last couple of moons. "I’m lost, Drizzlecloud. I-I don’t know how to fix this." Everything was crashing down on her, and Springlight didn’t know how to keep it together. Stopping in her tracks, she helplessly wept; sobbing and crying as everything came flooding together into one barricade. So much for being named after something she knew she wasn’t; she wasn’t a gifted light to others. She was failing, flickering in and out as the barrier that once held her together began to crash down. “I… I need you, right now, please, Driz.” It was a request that she yearned for. A yearning for comfort and safety in her mentor’s arms, anything to drive away the burdens that clashed in her mind. Anything to distract herself from all the emotional baggage she kept piling up onto herself to keep herself stable for her own sake.

@Omari [ screams and shakes you; finally finished this after working on it for a long while ehfhduch do tell if i accidentally powerplayed pls i went overboard w this starter ]

**Omari** · #2 September 25th, 2024, 11:04 AM

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Drizzlecloud
Thunderclan
She/her
Purrks: Heightened Perception(active), Herbal Knowledge T2 & Monkey’s Paw.

Unfortunately, the passage of time was impossible to avoid. Springlight had gone missing, and with her, a chunk of Drizzlecloud's being as an individual had left, too. That companionship, that relationship, that bond–gone, after all of the time that the pair had spent together, weaving their connection with one another. Admitting that she was gone, her one and only star apprentice, the family that she had been gifted by association rather than by blood, left her indifferent for some time.

She has ignored her innermost feelings, causing them to twist and tie within her chest until a knot formed. A hot, deep-rooted tangle that caused a rage that she hadn't felt in a long time, perhaps to defend herself from the depressive emotions that were surely threaded within.

The owl. That stars-damned owl had been her focus, channeling all of her negative emotions and throwing them at the feathered beast. Perhaps she thought it would do her some good, but by the time that the bird had taken its last breath, that rage faded away to reveal that it had done no good at all. Even with it dead, there was still a dreadful emotion that remained. The knot within her chest had unraveled, leaving the very thing that her rage had sought to protect–her heart. Killing the owl had done nothing for her, it had only been a momentary distraction from the emotion that came crashing down on her as soon as the feathered fiend was down.

Her mate's apprentice had gone, too–dead. They grieved together. It was less difficult to experience alone, but difficult all the same. If it weren't for Sparrowpelt keeping her grounded, she probably would have disappeared and stormed the forest herself to find her apprentice–her niece… But she couldn't leave him. Drizzlecloud couldn't even fathom the thought of it.

There was an eventual turning point for her depressive state, when she had realized something about herself. A life changing thing, really–pregnancy. She was going to have kittens with her love, and even with all of the bad… it was nice. It was nice that she was able to have this one thing. She had since been moved to the nursery, and she was positive that she was due to have her kittens within the next moon or so. Exciting and yet oh so scary. The thought of change and moving on despite not wanting to move past certain instances.

The passage of time. Unavoidable.

Moving to the nursery was odd, as she had just gotten used to the warriors den, only to have to move again. Oh, you little bugs. She liked to playfully blame it on her kits–it was all love, of course. Although they weren't born yet, she was certain of the joy that they would bring into her and Sparrowpelt's lives. She would never genuinely blame them for anything, ever, no. Not her darling kittos.

Sleep came easily here–interesting enough, it didn’t take her very long to get used to it. The nursery was comforting, a community of queens and their families, or soon to be. It was nice. Each night she lay in her moss nest, excitement thrumming in her veins at the idea of her kits being here, too. Sparrowpelt would make a perfect father, she was positive–knowing that he was here made the anxiety lift from her shoulders as if it were never there in the first place.

Then came the dream that night. Most often, her dreams were bare and empty, but she supposed she enjoyed them that way. So that she could enjoy what she so frequently missed out on–hearing the sounds of the world around her, such a simple joy in life that was often taken for granted, she knew that much. Tonight’s dream was different, though. The camp was so empty today, and although her dreams were usually bare, she had the pleasure of dreaming with passersby present. Lifting her gaze to the sky, she blinked owlishly, a sense of uncertainty washing over her until she heard a quiet call of her name. Her left ear twitched before she lowered her gaze, only to freeze up entirely at the sight of the molly before her.

Her breath hitched and it felt like her entire body ceased to function, staring in silence for a few long beats at the she-cat before her–the cat that she had granted her full name to, her beloved apprentice. Her niece. Drizzlecloud had been an emotional cat before, but pregnancy only seemed to heighten such emotions–evident by the way that her eyes grew cloudy and her legs wobbled beneath her weight.

“Springy.” She choked out, wasting no time in darting from where she stood to meet Springlight halfway. “Come, come. Come here, kitto.” The queen insisted softly despite the way her own voice wavered with emotion, winding herself around the young molly as she wept. Her heart somehow pounded harshly within her chest despite the fact that she swore it had shattered already, feeling the tears that had flooded her vision begin to drip down her face. “Oh goodness, oh–sit with me, okay? Let’s sit.” She insisted carefully, drawing her tail over Springlight’s back to ease her carefully to the ground. Her muzzle gently bunted against the side of her apprentice’s head, offering her a quiet purr that she couldn’t quite mask at the simple sight of her. “Let’s talk–I’m here.”

[ @iliri sorry this took a billion years i think this is my longest wco post oop ]

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**iliri** · #3 October 6th, 2024, 02:15 PM

Springlight
long-furred, scarred, oriental-shaped, gray-and-orange calico molly with blue eyes; torn right ear
purrks: herbal knowledge - tier 2 | the collector | mind reader | dreamwalker
she/her | outsider | 24 moons

Springlight barely managed to keep herself upright when Drizzlecloud called her name, and the moment she heard that familiar voice, it shattered the fragile mask she’d been wearing for the last few moons of her departure. It had been so long since she'd felt the warmth of connection, and now, standing before her mentor, her beloved aunt, the dam she built around herself broke. She could no longer suppress the tumult of emotions that had twisted and coiled tightly within her like wretched snakes. Feeling like a kit whimpering to its mother, she clutched herself closer to Drizzlecloud as her paws wrapped around the gray-furred molly, gripping tightly onto her as if she would disappear the moment she let go. “I—I'm so sorry,” she choked out, her voice trembling as tears streamed down her face and soaking her aunt’s fur. “I never wanted to leave you. I never wanted to leave home...” The horrific memories flooded back to her like a raging tsunami—the night the owl had come, its dark wings sweeping in, and her heart had raced as she’d felt that powerful pull, unable to resist its lure as she tried desperately to escape. “I thought I could fight it, Driz. I thought I could stay... but it was like I was being dragged away by something I couldn’t see, something stronger than me. And then, I was lost. I’m lost on the outskirts and now I don’t know how to get home; back to you.” She sniffled once more, her remaining vision blurred by the tears streaming down her marred face.

Her body trembled as she leaned into Drizzlecloud’s comforting presence, the familiar warmth grounding her in a way that felt almost foreign now. The heaviness that swarmed in her chest felt worse than she wanted it to be. Her thoughts swirled like a storm, a mess of uncertainty, guilt, and fear. She had never wanted to leave. That night, when the owl took her away, the world had become small, and all she had wanted was to return. But it was more than the owl now. It was everything—this place, this world, this feeling that she was drowning in her own helplessness. She had always been strong, or at least she had tried to be. She had fought, struggled, and done her best to survive the strange circumstances fate had thrown her into. Yet here she was, feeling weaker than she had ever been. How would Drizzlecloud react to her telling her of her pregnancy? She never wanted to tell anyone about it—why would she? How could she admit that she was carrying kits, when she wasn’t even sure what she was supposed to feel? Should she be happy? Should she be terrified? All she could feel was the weight of it, and it was suffocating. There had been no one to guide her through this, no one to tell her what the right thing to do was. The only option left was Drizzlecloud, and she wasn’t even there with her physically at the moment. She already knew whose kits they belonged to, and he never asked for this either. The former herbalist tried to curl her tail around herself, trying to find some semblance of warmth or comfort against the inner turmoil she was feeling. She didn’t want Drizzlecloud to see her like this… or anyone, really.

Feeling her breath hitching in her throat, the calico found herself able to continue, the guilt crisscrossing over her shoulders as she glanced up toward Drizzlecloud. “I… eventually got trapped... with a strange family obsessed with an even stranger plant.. one that we don’t even know fully about with its capabilities. They thought I was special because of my herbal knowledge, and they wanted me to become mates with their son, Axmed. But I didn’t want that—neither of us did. I just wanted to come back to be with you, with ThunderClan. They didn’t accept 'no' for an answer. They just wouldn’t let me go.” She looked away as guilt poured into her half-blinded gaze, the remaining strength she had wavering in herself slowly draining as she sniffled. She didn’t want to continue speaking. She didn’t want to have her mentor see her like this. “I managed to escape, as you can see… but not without a price. I… I’m expecting kits. I… I didn’t want these kits. I… we didn't want these kits. My memory is fuzzy right now, but I don't feel prepared at all for this. I don't know how to be a parent. I… I don't know what to do.” Springlight's voice cracked as she recalled the suffocating pressure of those days, the endless cycle of forced smiles and false pleasantries. She had been naive to their words, and helplessly believing them into feeling like she was special. Those cats made her feel that way, and yet that feeling was twisted into a way that it was destroyed.

Her sobs grew louder, shaking her body as the weight of moons of isolation and fear came crashing down. The memories of Pinepaw telling her about the death of Dovefluff and the illness grappling over her clan only heightened these burdensome feelings. “I… I failed you. I failed ThunderClan. I failed to be a medicine cat for ThunderClan. I was too weak to fight back against what was happening to me. I heard about the illness taking over ThunderClan; I heard about my mom’s death… and I can't even do anything to help against that.” As she leaned deeper into Drizzlecloud's now-soaked fur, Springlight felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. The ache of guilt and despair overwhelmed her, and she could barely speak through the storm of emotions swirling inside her. Even more so that she had developed a pounding headache that she didn't know how to stop. “I thought I would be forgotten. I thought maybe I deserved to be lost after all the times I tried to be strong and couldn’t. I just want to come home, but every time I tried to move forward, I felt like I was being pulled back into that nightmare.” Her breath hitched, and she finally whispered the last thing that had been eating away at her mind, her eyes had grown heavy as her sobs slowly subsided. “I’m so tired, Driz... tired of fighting, tired of feeling like I’m not enough. I want to come home, but I don’t even know if I belong there anymore after failing everyone. I thought that maybe after everything, I’d be a stranger to you and myself. Please... I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

@Omari (this ain’t as long or good as i hoped for it to be; but enjoy reading it nonetheless )