please don't prove i'm right. [p]

[silver.]

wither
she/her // 19 moons // outsider
purrks: herbal knowledge tier 2, agatha kitty, just a scratch

---

The Riverclan border was rarely somewhere she ever dared to stray even close to nowadays. But the water was calling. Once a fishcat, always a fishcat, she supposed. With the weather on the decline into cooler temperatures it was her final chance to take an uninterrupted dip in the rumbling creek.

Hesitantly the young molly dips her front paws into the water and stays there. As much as she wants to just submerge herself and forget about the world for a while she can't bring herself to. Maybe she thinks herself unworthy of such a thing. Escapism at this point in her life just wasn't fair to those she had cast out of her life. As desperately as she wanted it.

Lost in thought but not unaware, noise draws her from her stupor. Eyes wide and ears perked her head whips around toward foliage from behind, tail beginning to lash from side to side subconsciously.

"W... Who's out there?"

larkwing | @Neptune.
( THE GIRLS!!!!! )

[Neptune.]

Larkwing
~<>~
26 moons || she/her || RC Warrior || Kitty Softpaws, Mind Reader, Killer Aptitude T2
scarred, scrawny dilute tortoiseshell; green eyes

Call it exposure therapy, if you will, this trip back down to the river. Since the otters, and her plunge into the water, it had brought back memories of last Leaf-Bare, when she'd fallen into the river and started... this mess. Maybe it wasn't actually her fault, but it definitely felt like it was. Regardless, she thought that maybe, if she got in on her own terms and not some predator's (real or fictional), maybe she could will away whatever these bad feelings were.

She hadn't been expecting a familiar face.

She's just barely pushed her head through the tall reeds, cattails parting around her, when she pauses, first scenting an intruder, and then actually seeing her.

Tansypaw...

Larkwing wants to weep. She never thought she'd see the young medic ever again, and to find her here now, it feels almost like a sign of some kind. But Tansypaw hears her, and seems on edge. Larkwing takes a step back. Would the younger tortoiseshell even want to see her? Larkwing finds it hard to believe, but... she can't let her get away. Not again. So she pushes out from the reeds, blinking as she fights back tears of relief at seeing her friend alive.

"Tansypaw..?" She doesn't mean to, but the words come out in a whisper.

[ @silver. ]

[silver.]

wither
she/her // 19 moons // outsider
purrks: herbal knowledge t2, agatha kitty, just a scratch

---

That name again. At first she cannot help the anger that bubbles in her chest at hearing it. She's about to correct the voice-- 'it's Wither now, Tansypaw is gone!'-- but... But the sight of her... She can't help the way her eyes gloss over with stinging tears. And she can't stop them from escaping, either, falling in pathetic rivulets down her cheeks and staining them salty.

"Larkst- ... Wing?"

If she didn't want to be called Tansypaw anymore she could only assume that the molly didn't want to be called by the title of a leader, either. Even if in her own mind Larkwing was still and would always be her leader. Swallowing hard and trying desperately to force trembling limbs still she takes a few steps toward the other, hesitant at first, before bolting toward her. The sobs of a kit having gotten lost from her mother break free from her throat as she presses her face into Larkwing's chest

"Larkwing, Larkwing!" Her name leaves her maw almost like chant, as if at any moment her dear friend would disappear and the River was playing some kind of trick on her. "Y-you... It's you! Larkwing, I... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..!"

larkwing | @Neptune.

[Neptune.]

Larkwing
~<>~
26 moons || she/her || RC Warrior || Kitty Softpaws, Mind Reader, Killer Aptitude T2
scarred, scrawny dilute tortoiseshell; green eyes

Lark meets Tansy halfway, and if they're both crying, well, that's between them and the river.

"It's me," she agrees around a watery laugh, sheer relief at knowing the younger molly was alive making her feel almost hysterical. "It's alright, Tansypaw, I'm here, it's okay," and she wraps her tail warmly around the former medic. No one had told her what happened to her friend after Lark's own disappearance, she didn't feel it was her place to even ask such a thing, so she'd grieved silently. The moons she was away, in the barn with Humphrey, she'd more or less been hoping that Tansypaw had endured. That she'd persevered where Larkwing could not.

To come back to a RiverClan without her was... not ideal. But she had Adderstrike, and she had Fishfreckle, and she'd ended up... she'd been okay. It all comes flooding back, now, though, and it's as if Larkwing is looking at a ghost. She pulls out of the embrace - just barely, just enough to look at Tansy's face.

"What happened, Tansy? Where did you go?"

[ @silver. ]

[silver.]

wither
she/her // 19 moons // outsider
purrks: herbal knowledge t2, agatha kitty, just a scratch

---

What happened?

Guilt has haunted her every movement since that day. When she slept it squeezed relentlessly at her psyche like a constrictor. Unfeeling and uncaring. Every time she hunted, it loomed over her shoulders. It had been a moon straight before she was able to touch another herb for her own personal collection. Just when she thought she had grown stronger-- grown past it all for good-- something, or rather someone, came strolling back into her life to break all of her walls back down. Of course she couldn't blame Larkwing-- she didn't know any better. And though she had spoken with Adderstrike since her disappearance it didn't seem like the two had communicated about her at all. Maybe Riverclan really has forgotten who she was. Whether or not that was a good thing, she didn't know.

Pulling back to look at Wither's face is nothing more than a pathetic sight. Brows furrowed, lip trembling, and eyes leaking something fierce is what she's faced with. As if it had been moons since the tortie had any kind of emotional release. In truth, it had been.

"It's... It's Wither now." She says quietly, each call of her old name a new squeeze in her chest. "I'm sorry, Larkwing... I couldn't be Tansypaw anymore. Tansypaw... She's gone."

Eyes close tight as she tries desperately to regain her composure. It doesn't work very well, much to her dismay, but at least she's stopped her shuddering and heaving.

"I-I ran away. I couldn't take it anymore. Everyone w-was always yellin' at me and no one was ever helpin' me and it was all too much so I took everything I had an' ran away and never looked back. I-I'm sorry, Larkwing, I'm sorry I let you all down, I d-didn't mean it, honest, I tried-"

larkwing | @Neptune.

[Neptune.]

Larkwing
~<>~
26 moons || she/her || RC Warrior || Kitty Softpaws, Mind Reader, Killer Aptitude T2
scarred, scrawny dilute tortoiseshell; green eyes

Wither... the new name feels almost self-deprecating, in a way. Like Tansy had taken it on to be deliberately mean to herself. But... if that's how she wanted to be known as now, then Larkwing would honor that. But... her reason for leaving... it made sense to the former leader, she got it, probably more than most cats would.

"Hey, it's okay Ta- Wither, it's alright, I'm not angry with you," and she isn't. She's never been. Not once. "You did all you could for RiverClan, it is not your fault they couldn't appreciate that.

"I'll tell you something," she continues, and it's a story she's only told two cats before... Fadingstar and Mistyshard. It's not exactly something she intentionally kept hidden, but it isn't easy to talk about. Wither deserves the story, though. "The night I disappeared, I didn't really- I didn't mean to. I wanted to go for a walk, to swim in the river," and her gaze drifts to the water, torn ear flicking, "but I fell in. Hit my head. And there was a badger on the shore when I eventually surfaced in loner lands. It sliced my leg up pretty good, I'm surprised I managed to keep it." There's a dry, humorless laugh in her words. "I stayed in a barn for a while, with this old cat called Humphrey. He took care of me. But when I got better... I couldn't bring myself to return for the longest time. I felt like I didn't deserve to after running away like I did.

"But I'm home now. And the first thing I did was look for you. I didn't want you to think I abandoned you." But you were gone, she doesn't say. She doesn't need to say it.

[ @silver. ]

[silver.]

wither
she/her // 19 moons // outsider
just a scratch - agatha kitty - herbal knowledge t2

---

How awful. She had no idea what had happened to Larkwing after that night. Whether she had also run away for good or returned home or was killed by Fadingsun... Though she's thankful that it was a huge accident, she can't help but feel awful for not being there. For not looking for her to make sure she was safe and well. Instead she ran away like a coward. And when she wanted to come back home and face it all she was told she was selfish and turned away like she was dirt on the side of a Thunderpath. Never would she forgive Fadingsun for the thing he had done to her. The things he had said. They branded against her pelt like fire.

She opens her mouth to apologize. Tell her how sorry she is for the things she had been through and how she should have been there but she's forced silent by Larkwing's next words to her.

'But I'm home now. And the first thing I did was look for you. I didn't want you to think I abandoned you.'

"You... You looked for me?"

Blinking tears back as they once again threaten to spill, her ears flatten against the top of her head and she finds herself shuffling in as close as she can get to the other molly. Someone actually looked for her. Someone cared. Adderstrike told her that she had went out looking, too, but from Larkwing it meant something... Different. They had been two kids forced into power. Forced to figure things out together. And when it all came crashing down everyone cast judgement upon them. Bitter, angry judgement. They were just kids.

"I-I would never think that, promise... If anyone was there for me it was you. You were there for everyone an' no one took notice of it. 'm sorry. I wish... I wish I could'a been stronger for you. Stayed and looked for ya and brought ya home b-but... I'm still just a stupid coward."

larkwing | @Neptune.

[Neptune.]

Larkwing
~<>~
26 moons || she/her || RC Warrior || Kitty Softpaws, Mind Reader, Killer Aptitude T2
scarred, scrawny dilute tortoiseshell; green eyes

It's... strange. It almost feels like things are finally normal again - or as normal as they ever would be. And it feels good to talk to Wither, to tell her what had happened. It isn't that Larkwing has any problems talking about her time away from RiverClan, she just... hasn't felt the need to bring it up before... and the only one who ever asked had been Fadingstar. But enough about that.

"You did what you thought was right," Larkwing assures Wither, attempting to nuzzle into the younger cat's head... whatever small comfort she was able to give. "I don't blame you for that. You had to protect yourself. I'm just glad you're alive and that you're safe. You are, right? Safe, I mean?" There's concern in her gaze and in her voice, emerald hues searching chocolate, trying to puzzle out what wasn't being said.

[ @silver. ]