ⵌ ➜ #GUTSPAW ˗ˏˋ ✮ it . teeth . bite . // sixteen moons ˎˊ˗
small spiky-furred black tabby with striking icy blue eyes. has a huge fluffy tail & a few scars in the shapes of bite-marks - notch in left ear.
❝HIGH ACHIEVER, DON'T YOU SEE? BABY, NOTHING COMES FOR FREE !!❞
Gutspaw knew it was pushing its luck. If anyone stumbled upon their escape teeth would be lucky if all it got was cleaning duties and a ceremony pushed back. Still, the apprentice was going on a short walk to gather materials. Darkwater Mire seemed to be promising. It was quiet in the dark, silent besides the distant symphony of an owl. Not nearby, but enough to keep it on high alert. The moon shone brightly through the conifer trees. It always enjoyed the territory at night. Perhaps that was the biggest shame. To be confined and bounded until it suffix just got changed. As far as it was concerned, it was a warrior simply waiting.
However, before the black tabby could truly adventure into the depths something pulled away its attention. It paused, blinking twice in bubbling confusion. Was it mistaken? The scent of mutt and metal hung in the air; distant, easy to miss but Guts had spent enough time around canine brutes to recognize their distinct stench. Besides, considering last time around they had left it with a few scars - yeah, bit hard to forget.
Gutspaw unsheathed claws, taking a sharp turn to the right. Paws slam against the ground, heart beginning to pound loudly against its chest. Could someone be injured? Wouldn't teeth hear them? At least the dogs — they could never shut up.
It does not have to wait long for answers before it finds itself tripping over an unseen branch, stumbling through dark shrubs and landing into something .. sticky.
it took a moment for the realization to click. the crimson blood looked black against the moonlight but the scent was unmistakable. there is no body, nothing that offers where it came from but the scent of dog weaves through the air like pollen. it is not recent.
Slowly, slowly Gutspaw steps out of the large splatter of blood, icy blue irises fixated on the scene. A shaking breath escapes from bite, alarms beginning to sound off. It had never seen that much blood before.
It does not help ripped, multi-colored fur litters the scene. At first, the ones it finds are too bloody but as the apprentice explores briefly it starts to find white furs. Black furs. Orange furs. A calico. The scents surrounding are too hard to detect any clanmates but oh, Guts knows. The only calicos in ShadowClan that could be out this far were far too red and too diluted. It had been wondering where Goopywhisker had gone off to.
"N, no - no, no, no, no, no, no, " it gasps, starting to reach out and scoop up the stray furs, trying to push them into a pile in a somewhat desperate attempt to be wrong. Guts' brother couldn't be dead, he couldn't. He was an idiot, and sloppy, but oh abyssdammit that was its baby brother.
Gutspaw finds itself having a hard time breathing, heart racing a mile a minute as it rocked itself back and forth. Back and forth, staring and staring. And staring, and staring, and staring, and staring. he couldn't be gone. they had only just reunited. how could he leave it alone? he was all guts had. the only damn reason it bothered to stay, really.
Tears burned down its cheeks, and it started to try to grab the bloodied fur. There was no body. why was there no body?
Oh bones.
it couldn't - it couldn't even tell anyone. if it did, it would expose itself. eyes trailed down to its own bloodied paws, would its scent be detected here? was it already revealing itself? did it - did it - have to - .. hide such a scene?
it - it couldn't. it couldn't hide its brother's death, hide the horrid fact he was gone but oh, guts was so scared. scared of the consequences, scared of dawnstar. scared of being alone. scared of -
Gutspaw collapses against the floor, unable to hold itself up anymore as sobs fully take its body. Its limbs tremble, and it felt like its heart had been ripped out. The aching feeling in its chest was set aflame, something it always tried to ignore but now it became impossible to repress. It could not remember the last it cried, teeth had learned swiftly it was a sign of weakness. It wants to collect itself, it needs to. No one else would help it. No one would hear its cries. (alonealonealonealonealonealonealone)
but the night is long and it cannot move.
Gutspaw curls itself around the pile of fur, ears flattened against its skull. its paws hold itself, claws digging into its forearms. Blood drips down, leaving deep gashes in its wake. "No,, no - no, you have to come back, you have to come back, you can't be gone, you can't - you can't, " Teeth whimpers softly to the abyss, repeating itself over, and over. Stuck in a cycle of disbelief, refusal to believe. There is no one around, and for once it does not attempt to quiet down its crying.
Re: everything eats and is eaten. time is fed [ p ]
tw for severe emotional distress, heavily implied panic attack, mentions of accidental self harm SQUIRRELRISE she/her. 15 moons. small, scarred russet molly with brown markings and yellow eyes.
[ chill of death, hulk SMASH ]
it's hard to sleep. squirrelrise lays in her nest, curled into a tight ball with her tail shielding the lower half of her face. she wants to sleep, desperately. though, even after pushing down the fears of nightmares and accepting that she shouldn't carry such unnecessary guilt — actually falling asleep is difficult. so, here she lays, gazing out of the warrior's den into the darkness of the clearing, only illuminated by the moonlight. her eyes threaten to close, until she's certain she sees a figure leaving camp. huh?
they say curiosity killed the cat. there's a bad feeling she can't shake off though, and the warrior finds herself slipping out of her nest and leaving the den silently. her ears swivel as she exits the camp, padding through the territory in what she can only hope is the right direction. she's always been hyper vigilant when it comes to being out of camp, and it's only worse when it's night. it's dead silent save for the sound of a far off owl, fur bristling as she continues to travel.
she slows to a stop, frowning. maybe I should go back to camp, she considers, only for her ears to twitch when they catch a sound. it's an odd sound that she doesn't recognize at first, but then it registers— crying. her eyes widen, stepping in the direction of the sound. her heart sinks at the scent of blood that wafts through the air, both old and fresh. her paws carry her as fast as her mind races towards the destination, careful to not trip over any tree roots. pushing through some shrubs, there was the sickening yet stale scent of dog— and oh. oh stars. the sight that awaits her has her stomach twisting and turning, legs threatening to give out underneath her.
gutspaw. curled around a mixture of old blood and clumps of familiar fur that fails to fully register in her mind, too focused on the crumbling gutspaw. bite dug it's claws into its own flesh and drawing blood. the sobs were like something she's never heard before, so full of pain that she wants to start bawling right then and there with it. she can't..she has to do something-
"gutspaw!" squirrelrise chokes out, trying to ignore the painful tightening of her chest. she can't give in to the panic that threatens to consume her, she has to focus on gutspaw. oh stars. bite must've been the one to leave camp. "th-this – you – wh-wha–" she sputters, inching closer to the tabby. she doesn't know what to do. a frantic glance towards the pile of blood and fur. calico fur. calico fur. blood. dog. she feels dizzy, desperately trying to draw in a much needed breath only to fail once she realizes. why else would gutspaw be crying? goopywhisker.dead.
goopywhisker is dead.
"...n-nno.." she croaks. it's the first thought that runs through her mind and she bites back a sob. no body, no bones even left. just clumps of fur and a pile of old blood. it's definitely not recent, and she can only wonder how long he must've suffered. the whole world threatens to collapse inwards on her. was there something she could've done? he must've went out of camp at night. she can't fathom the idea of this happening in broad daylight and none of her clanmates hearing it. unless..unless someone was evil – no, too much of a coward to help.
or maybe it's starclan's version of some cruel joke. they like to do that a lot. why does starclan allow such horrible things to happen? aren't they powerful? goopywhisker had done nothing but be a wonderful warrior, an amazing cat and this – this is what he gets?!
she hates them. she hates starclan so much right now. she's so angry and so upset she doesn't know what to do.
there's a high chance he's dead and she knows it. but gutspaw is goopywhisker's sibling and a friend and she's not sure what else to do other than try to convince it otherwise.
"g-gutspaw," she rasps, ignoring the hot tears pouring down her cheeks as she leans down to try to gently nose the apprentice. "we don't – it - it's not.." stars, she's not good at this, especially when she can barely breathe and choking out sobs. she wants her mama. she wants to be a kit again. anything but this. still, she feels like she has a job so she crouches down, attempting to nudge gutspaw gently. bushy tail flicking to rest over its curled body. just anything to get bite to stop digging it's claws.
"h-he..he could b-be,"sob, "al-alive, s-ssso many cats have,"sob, "have s-survived w-worse, he could've – goopywhisker c-could have..he –" her heart hearts so, so bad. "maybe - maybe he..hhhe escaped a-and wandered..to..to the b-borders. a twoleg..c-could have.. found - found him..s-ssomething." she wishes. oh, she wishes that's what happened, but she knows deep down that it's unlikely. even if she's heard of cats surviving worse, coming back from the dead, she struggles to find a sliver of hope all while she's trying to provide gutspaw some.
"I - I don't kn-know," she whispers, voice barely audible as it ends in a sound that's a mixture of a whimper and a sob. she's never felt so weak before.
Re: everything eats and is eaten. time is fed [ p ]
ⵌ ➜ #GUTSPAW ˗ˏˋ ✮ it . teeth . bite . // sixteen moons ˎˊ˗
small spiky-furred black tabby with striking icy blue eyes. has a huge fluffy tail & a few scars in the shapes of bite-marks - notch in left ear.
❝HIGH ACHIEVER, DON'T YOU SEE? BABY, NOTHING COMES FOR FREE !!❞
Gutspaw does not know how long it laid there as a shell of itself — only that its face had grown numb due to labored breaths. A tingling sensation that pooled in the bottom of bite's toe beans. As time ticked on, it felt as if it's head had been cut off — separated from the body that was supposed to be in teeth's control. It's eyes felt puffy, and it sniffled desperately. Eventually, repetition became a soft, hoarse whisper. Perhaps that is why the apprentice doesn't quite notice the sound of leaves being pushed back, a voice crying out in shock. It's there, but nothing seems there.
Nothing seems real at all. As if this had to be a nightmare Gutspaw would soon wake up from.
It's when a wet nose gently nudges against bite's trembling body that the tabby drags its icy gaze towards its clanmate, finally acknowledging her existence. Its vision is blurry, only a brown and white blur stands nearby. Still, her voice is familiar enough. It doesn't release its claws, resigned to staring at her with tear-filled eyes. Gutspaw wishes to pull away, attempt to regain what composure. Teeth didn't enjoy being vulnerable around kin, much less Squirrelrise of all cats.
However, she knew him — cared for her. If not Mistlewhisker, she may be the only one to understand the aching crater in bite's chest. Then something soft covers its shaky body, and warmth envelops the feline. Tentatively, claws sheathe from its forearms. (Briefly, it glances to look at the damage. Eyes blinking rapidly in shock, as if just noticing it.)
While the tears still flowed freely, its breathing was beginning to settle down. Gutspaw shuffles closer, moving to where it could duck its head under Squirrelrise's large, fluffy tail. It was softer than teeth's own in its defense. At least she couldn't see its face. It felt less ,,revealing that way.
Gutspaw's ears flattened as she begins to try and — bite isn't sure, really. Whether she's saying such things to convince it or herself — both, maybe, it only causes it to tense up. Claws flexing and flashing once more, digging into the soil instead. Something to hold onto to. "J - just, sh - shut up, please, " It begs, a sense of desperation evident in bite's tone instead of malice. Quieter, "h - he can't - ..he can't climb, " A sob breaks through halfway. A rebuttal.
It was a surrender to the idea that while its brother was quick that whenever it came to stamina dogs would always overwhelm. He was gone. Guts would never see him again. He resided in the stars now.
The apprentice lapses into a sniffling silence, attempting to quiet its tears — to grab ahold of itself. It couldn't lay there forever. Now Squirrelrise knew. Both of their scents riddled the scene. At least she wouldn't face consequences for being out of camp, but being out at such strange times would raise questions.
After a long while when the numbness in its limbs has ceased "I can't - they can't - know I was, out here alone, Squirrels. I've already been - pushin' it, but, this - this might be -- the last straw, " Gutspaw confesses woefully, nose poking out from underneath her tail. Bit hard to breathe. "But, if - If I leave, 'n,, someone else finds it, they'll p - pick up my s - scent.,, Can - " It cuts itself off, falling back into thought.
Truthfully, it doesn't know what to think of the molly. It doesn't know her that well, much less to be asking her to go against ShadowClan's rules. She could very well twist the situation to how she pleased if she felt particularly vindictive for a particular reason. Did it really have any other choice, though?
"Can you just - s, ,, stay ? Out here with m, me? 'N - and then, we can ,, tell,, Mistlewhisker.. when the sun rises,, say we just went ,, out huntin' early or somethin',, I dunno,, what .. excuse could fit for bein' out here so late,, without ,, r - raising any questions,, " It speaks hoarsely, voice cracking. Oh, it didn't like any of this. This shouldn't have happened. What had he been doing out here? Why were there a pack of dogs from the smell of it? Its thoughts swirled in a weave of everlasting questions.
Gutspaw knew the in-between did not have mercy when it came to who it claimed for eternal rest. Life was often unfair, unpredictable. Constant motion. Each event pushing itself forward. This did not ease the hurt.
Re: everything eats and is eaten. time is fed [ p ]
tw(s): emotional distress
SQUIRRELRISE she/her. 15 moons. small, scarred russet molly with brown markings and yellow eyes.
[ chill of death, hulk SMASH ]
finally. finally, after what feels like several moments, gutspaw sheathes it's claws. (stars, they need to get back to camp, teeth's wounds look deep). of course, this is a great thing— but it does little to quell the churning of her stomach and the weight on squirrelrise's chest. blood still fills her nostrils and her heart drums in her ears, breathing feels like a strenuous exercise. but, the apprentice seems ..calmer. that's good enough for her, and she stays as still as possible when gutspaw shifts to hide bites head under her tail.
her eyes screw shut, choking back a sob. goopywhisker can't climb. at this point, she can't tell if she wants to try and convince gutspaw or herself. maybe he ran and hid inside of a burrow. or the dogs had twolegs who called them away, maybe goopy had just enough energy to crawl away somewhere and ..and -- she doesn't know. she doesn't know. she wants to believe that, maybe, if starclan does exist, there was some sort of divine intervention and goopywhisker's alive. but they are cruel, and the stars don't appear as bright as they used to now.
she almost says something, yet the words stay caught in her throat, stopped by the lump thats formed. she's afraid if she speaks, nothing intelligible will come out - only wailing and gurgled whimpering. a heavy silence falls over, only broken by the combined sniffling of her and gutspaw. at some point, breathing becomes a little more manageable and it doesn't feel like she's suffocating so much. she just feels .. exhausted now, paws folding underneath her. this is all -- is this really happening?
squirrelrise's frown deepens as gutspaw breaks the silence. yes, gutspaw isn't supposed to be out in the territory alone. it's an apprentice and truthfully, she isn't sure why it was out here in the first place but ..there's much more important things to worry about -- like the puddle of blood and fur. but she knows bite is right and she feels angry at the rules for once. for the first time in her life. she's already wracking her brain to come up with solutions that won't end up with gutspaw getting in trouble but--
bite already has an idea. stay out here, just until the sun rises and then they can go tell mistlewhisker. and while she doesn't like the idea of lying at all, especially to her mother, there's nothing else she can do. she can't think of any idea. still, her pelt bristles at the idea of being in the territory so late. would they, too, end up like goopywhisker...?
"okay ..b-but,," she gulps, voice weak and wavering. "y-your injuries..they need t-to –...mo- m-mistlewhisker will..quest-- question..them..and, and-" she pauses abruptly, deciding to cut herself off before she starts verbally spiraling. mistlewhisker would definitely tell dawnstar once they told her what they found. dawnstar..would she question it? the russet molly has no idea and she forces the question away, shakily inhaling. okay. okay. back onto the task at paw,,just manage until sunrise.
"I'll s-sstay.." she nods. not that she would've left gutspaw out here alone to begin with. she lets out a shaky sigh, yellow gaze glancing up at the night sky that appeared much more dim now than before. this is going to be a long night. why,,world, why, she wonders with a small sniffle.
Re: everything eats and is eaten. time is fed [ p ]
ⵌ ➜ #GUTSPAW ˗ˏˋ ✮ it . teeth . bite . // sixteen moons ˎˊ˗
small spiky-furred black tabby with striking icy blue eyes. has a huge fluffy tail & a few scars in the shapes of bite-marks - notch in left ear.
❝HIGH ACHIEVER, DON'T YOU SEE? BABY, NOTHING COMES FOR FREE !!❞
The apprentice is relieved she does not speak again. It does not make it easier. The silence weighs like the pressure of water, safe for the expectation of quiet sniffles.
Gutspaw expects for Squirrelrise to reject such an idea. At the very least. Instead, the molly brings up a reasonable factor that hadn't quite kicked in yet. Icy blue irises trail down to its wounds with a look of apprehension. The blood would soon dry, and either it could hurt itself again to .. make them appear more recent or simply hide them. Dammit. "I - I'll wrap 'em up once the blood dries — all of my legs, p - play it off as some new thing I'm tryin', " Gutspaw finally answered after thinking. Maybe they'll heal on its own, or it'll have to scratch it up to some injury from prey when visiting Mossfreckle.
Her response is surprising. She could've left it out here alone. Came back in the morning. It wasn't something the apprentice had suggested itself — too ashamed of the simple fact teeth didn't want to be left alone. Not with his remains or its thoughts. Its shoulders slump forward, tension draining from Gutspaw weary body."thank you,,"bite murmurs quietly, taking a few moments of silence underneath Squirrelrise's fluffy tail before slowly dragging itself out.
While teeth's face felt less numb, it felt as if soul had moved slightly to the side. Every movement was stiff — robotic. Expect, the apprentice needed .. to make something temporary to rest on. For the both of them. Something easy to destroy afterwards. It moved slowly, going a bit away from the scene itself to collect a few materials. Really whatever it could find, leaves, moss, ferns. As the moon started to lower in the sky, Gutspaw dragged materials back and forth to the clearing.
Eventually, it built a decent enough pile that it started to spread out the leaves to form a big enough platform they could sleep on and have their own personal space. Afterwards, it would add another layer but with moss. Then, it would line the edges with sticks and ferns. Easy enough to scatter when they wanted, but hopefully able to maintain shape for a few hours before sunrise.
The apprentice would have to scatter the fur again, and soon it would likely be buried or something along the lines but for tonight — it would sleep with its brother again. Like they used to when they were kits, when all of them were together again. So, Gutspaw scooped up the pile of loose fur and brought with it to the left side of the nest. Careful not to disturb it, teeth slowly settled down next to it. Goodnight Goops.
It intakes a sharp breath before slowly exhaling. Its eyes burned, and it became so very aware of how utterly exhausted Gutspaw was once the shock was put aside. "G'night, " it whispered to Squirrelrise before its body slumped into the soft platform, eyes closing shut. However, the sweet release of sleep did not come. No matter how tired teeth was, it became aware of the brief scent attached to the fur. The blood. How it felt as if a part of itself was missing.
It curls up tighter, fluffy tail laying over the pile and its face but the sniffles soon start up again. The desperate attempts to keep quiet until it ran out of tears. Ran out of energy.
everything eats and is eaten. time is fed [ p ]
Re: everything eats and is eaten. time is fed [ p ]
