Brightshadow
{A fluffy calico molly with green eyes.}
She paused. His sorrows were nothing to laugh about. Her ears twitched and she hoped this momentary pause would calm them both down. Getting frustrated too will not help anyone. Besides the state he's in that will only lead to a physical fight. Her moment ended. "Tragedy is like the tide of a river. You have two choices. Let it sweep you away or fight your way back up. You have chosen the former. It is difficult to get back up alone once the water has consumed you, but you can if you shout to your clan mates. They are to busy fighting there way up to see you unless you shout. You have to make the first move, but instead you have stayed quiet and let the water rule your life. You gave up with a whimper." She was half sure this didn't make any sense, but it made sense to her so maybe it could reach his constricted heart. "You've been letting the world pass you by. Instead of seeing your folly you blame others for it. You should know very well by now other cats can't see you unless you seek them out first. I apologize for calling you a coward, but you need to fight back against the tide. Do not let it rule you any longer." She sat tall by her words. She would not back down from this fight. It was her favorite kind of fight a battle of wits.
-Not a hundred% sure that made sense
[ You did great queen! I love it! ]
Duck
~*~
The sound of rain prevailed again after his words. He took the opportunity to sit down and catch his breath. He was past the point of trying to start a fight now, but it occurred to him that he had been looming over this stranger while he snarled at her. It took all his strength to force his fur to lay flat and his tail to stop lashing. He was still furious, but he was also an adult. He needed to get a grip before that warrior killed him! Then she spoke again. He couldn't help but let out a heavy sigh. "Spoken like a true warrior." He smiled ruefully. "I would expect nothing less of Thunderclan. You're all are the same as you were when I left. I could have stood in camp and screamed until my throat bled, no cat would have come to help me. There's always something more important than the cats who give their lives up. Always a new danger or cat who needs to be kicked out or checked. 'Never mind all the countless issues let's wait around and see what good old Starclan has to say!'" He hissed.
Although he disagreed with the sentiment she was expressing, Brightshadow's poetic words struck him. Suddenly she wasn't just a Thunderclanner anymore. As he looked at the calico through slitted green eyes, he saw someone familiar. She reminded him of Duckfluff. His old warrior self might as well as have been standing before him. She was different from him in many aspects, but her hope and his had been the same. He remembered feeling connected. He remembered feeling safe. She was a cat who was as he had been. A misguided cat, but who knew better than he what that was like. Amidst the pain and anger he felt a pang of sympathy. If she believed everything she was saying she would lead a life of constant disappointment. "If you truly view being a kittypet as the lazy solution, and being a warrior as the brightest path I pity you. Lily's been more of a home to me than your wretched clan could ever be. She taught me how to be strong in ways a clan could never teach you. You want me to fight against the tide? And then what come back? That possibility died the moment my kits vanished. This isn't my home, it never was. It's nothing more than a den of lying, murdering, selfish thieves! But I don't expect a clan cat could ever understand what it's like to be truly loved." His words lost neither bitterness nor malice. Even though he pitied her, he wasn't about to lay down and let her spit out utter nonsense. Was she trying to get him to come "home"? Was she trying to "save him"? Where had she been two years ago. Where had any cat been? They had shown him who they truly were, and he doubted whether or not he could ever heal from those wounds.
The sound of rain prevailed again after his words. He took the opportunity to sit down and catch his breath. He was past the point of trying to start a fight now, but it occurred to him that he had been looming over this stranger while he snarled at her. It took all his strength to force his fur to lay flat and his tail to stop lashing. He was still furious, but he was also an adult. He needed to get a grip before that warrior killed him! Then she spoke again. He couldn't help but let out a heavy sigh. "Spoken like a true warrior." He smiled ruefully. "I would expect nothing less of Thunderclan. You're all are the same as you were when I left. I could have stood in camp and screamed until my throat bled, no cat would have come to help me. There's always something more important than the cats who give their lives up. Always a new danger or cat who needs to be kicked out or checked. 'Never mind all the countless issues let's wait around and see what good old Starclan has to say!'" He hissed.
Although he disagreed with the sentiment she was expressing, Brightshadow's poetic words struck him. Suddenly she wasn't just a Thunderclanner anymore. As he looked at the calico through slitted green eyes, he saw someone familiar. She reminded him of Duckfluff. His old warrior self might as well as have been standing before him. She was different from him in many aspects, but her hope and his had been the same. He remembered feeling connected. He remembered feeling safe. She was a cat who was as he had been. A misguided cat, but who knew better than he what that was like. Amidst the pain and anger he felt a pang of sympathy. If she believed everything she was saying she would lead a life of constant disappointment. "If you truly view being a kittypet as the lazy solution, and being a warrior as the brightest path I pity you. Lily's been more of a home to me than your wretched clan could ever be. She taught me how to be strong in ways a clan could never teach you. You want me to fight against the tide? And then what come back? That possibility died the moment my kits vanished. This isn't my home, it never was. It's nothing more than a den of lying, murdering, selfish thieves! But I don't expect a clan cat could ever understand what it's like to be truly loved." His words lost neither bitterness nor malice. Even though he pitied her, he wasn't about to lay down and let her spit out utter nonsense. Was she trying to get him to come "home"? Was she trying to "save him"? Where had she been two years ago. Where had any cat been? They had shown him who they truly were, and he doubted whether or not he could ever heal from those wounds.
[been setting up that joke for awhile lol]
Brightshadow
{A fluffy calico molly with green eyes.}
"How dare you!" Her fur puffed up. "How dare you say that. You don't even know me!" She was as angry as the thunder. More relentless then the rain. "You have no idea how I've felt yet you preach and tell me I've never felt love? Did your kits love you? Did your mother love you? Even though you were a cat of Thunderclan. Are you telling me my brothers love is just a facade. My friends love is just a mask. My parent's love was an act? I know what it is to be truly loved. Every day I'm greeted by the warm smile of the people who love me. You must have been truly hated.How can he be so blind, so lost? Where is your precious twoleg now huh? did she come comfort you when your kits left? Did she speak out against the leader you hated so much?"Her anger and passion grew. "I know I am truly loved! Do you? How many cat's hearts were broken when you left? How many cats were shouting for you? Maybe you would've known if you had stayed. Her voice softened, and her eyes turned to the rain. "Love is standing by someone no matter what." Her gaze turned back to him. "It seems to me you are the one held back true love. Did you even give your clanmates a chance to help you fight the tide?
She took a deep breath letting the rain air wash over her. "If we fought now who would win? You say Lily is more of a home then Thunderclan ever was. Do you think you'd say the same thing when you were an apprentice or a kit? How about when you watched your kits play? Did you decide that just because they're gone now means those good times never happened. Thunderclan created you. Thunderclan raised you. We were your friends. You may have have denounced Starclan, but they haven't denounced you! She closed her eyes. "You may not have been able to see the friends that have been helping you along the way. You've let the hurt tarnish the beautiful. That is a shame." Her voice was calm and collected she felt the words coming from her mouth. "If you hate Thunderclan, so much why did you come back? Are you really so blind to the home you could build here, No the home you have built here!She hoped even a fraction of what she meant got through to him.
[Wowee that was long! I think that's my longest one yet! ;3]
Brightshadow
{A fluffy calico molly with green eyes.}
"How dare you!" Her fur puffed up. "How dare you say that. You don't even know me!" She was as angry as the thunder. More relentless then the rain. "You have no idea how I've felt yet you preach and tell me I've never felt love? Did your kits love you? Did your mother love you? Even though you were a cat of Thunderclan. Are you telling me my brothers love is just a facade. My friends love is just a mask. My parent's love was an act? I know what it is to be truly loved. Every day I'm greeted by the warm smile of the people who love me. You must have been truly hated.How can he be so blind, so lost? Where is your precious twoleg now huh? did she come comfort you when your kits left? Did she speak out against the leader you hated so much?"Her anger and passion grew. "I know I am truly loved! Do you? How many cat's hearts were broken when you left? How many cats were shouting for you? Maybe you would've known if you had stayed. Her voice softened, and her eyes turned to the rain. "Love is standing by someone no matter what." Her gaze turned back to him. "It seems to me you are the one held back true love. Did you even give your clanmates a chance to help you fight the tide?
She took a deep breath letting the rain air wash over her. "If we fought now who would win? You say Lily is more of a home then Thunderclan ever was. Do you think you'd say the same thing when you were an apprentice or a kit? How about when you watched your kits play? Did you decide that just because they're gone now means those good times never happened. Thunderclan created you. Thunderclan raised you. We were your friends. You may have have denounced Starclan, but they haven't denounced you! She closed her eyes. "You may not have been able to see the friends that have been helping you along the way. You've let the hurt tarnish the beautiful. That is a shame." Her voice was calm and collected she felt the words coming from her mouth. "If you hate Thunderclan, so much why did you come back? Are you really so blind to the home you could build here, No the home you have built here!She hoped even a fraction of what she meant got through to him.
[Wowee that was long! I think that's my longest one yet! ;3]
[ YOU ATE THAT UP ]
Duck
~*~
That was it. Those had been the words he had longed to hear. Thunderclan loves you. They want you back. And yet no matter how much she talked, he didn't feel that "love". His mother hadn't loved him. His siblings hadn't loved him. His mentor hadn't loved him. Even Foxwillow had just been using him. But his kits. Had they loved him? His head dropped. "I'm afraid I've been selfish. They weren't truly my kits. I don't even know whose they were. My "mate" had been using me from the start. Did they love me? It doesn't matter they were never mine to love in the first place. They aren't even in Thunderclan anymore. I don't know where Foxwillow took them." His voice was hoarse as he recounted the past. All of these things, that he had only told Lily. All of the secrets he had kept locked away. He grit his teeth and looked up at Brightshadow with a snarl. "You say love is standing by no matter what. I only left Thunderclan to find the kits they weren't willing to search for. Is that not love enough? Must I always be tied to the place I was born? You asked me if any cat wept for me. If any of them called out when I left. I have your answer. They didn't. I had no real friends in Thunderclan. Everyone I ever knew lied or left me. Don't just sit there an tell me everything is going to get better through the power of friendship! They may have raised me, but it was only in action. No cat ever truly cared." She just wasn't going to get it. She was blind in the way he had been. He wanted to make her understand. To spare her a little of the heart ache he had felt. And maybe he wanted to hurt her. Maybe he wanted a little revenge. Maybe he even believe he deserved it. Who could say they deserved it more than him, after all?
"Perhaps there are cats in Thunderclan who care. Perhaps you've even found them and they care for you, but the clan as a whole is rotten down to its bones! Trust me I've seen it first hand. Clan cats are raised on violence, so that's all they ever know! All they do is fight and kill and fight and kill meaninglessly! Just think of how many lives could be saved if every cat just worked together! Not throughout the territory but even just within the clan. If every cat could just be on the same page. It could work! A clan like that would be matchless. But it'll never happen. There will never be a day when the clan's striving ceases. They're built on strife! It's all they'll ever do!" He flexed his claws. He knew he sounded crazy and broken, and to some degree he knew he was, but he also knew he was right. This was the way things were. They were the way things had always been, tracing as far back and Eveningstar. As a kit and as an apprentice he had dreamt of a day where kits could grow up in peace, without having to worry about their lives being uprooted by the constant cycle of violence. But leaving the clan had made the truth so clear. A happy generation like that could never exist among the war-mongering battle hungry cats he knew. It was impossible.
Where was Lily? This question made him pause. More pain welling up inside him as he remembered the flames. He sighed again, and tilted his head back to keep the tears from flowing. "Lily is...missing...just like every cat else. He snarled and then shook his head. "But for very different reasons. Why? Are you trying to tell me she doesn't love me either? That I'm all alone? You're a fool little warrior. And why am I out here? Thunderclan doesn't call me the way a bird calls her chicks! I'm here because I'm looking for Lily. Her love hasn't left me and I won't leave her." It occurred to him as he said this that half his anger was directed not at Thunderclan, but coming off the the recent stress of the fire. Not that it mattered now the flood gates had been opened.
That was it. Those had been the words he had longed to hear. Thunderclan loves you. They want you back. And yet no matter how much she talked, he didn't feel that "love". His mother hadn't loved him. His siblings hadn't loved him. His mentor hadn't loved him. Even Foxwillow had just been using him. But his kits. Had they loved him? His head dropped. "I'm afraid I've been selfish. They weren't truly my kits. I don't even know whose they were. My "mate" had been using me from the start. Did they love me? It doesn't matter they were never mine to love in the first place. They aren't even in Thunderclan anymore. I don't know where Foxwillow took them." His voice was hoarse as he recounted the past. All of these things, that he had only told Lily. All of the secrets he had kept locked away. He grit his teeth and looked up at Brightshadow with a snarl. "You say love is standing by no matter what. I only left Thunderclan to find the kits they weren't willing to search for. Is that not love enough? Must I always be tied to the place I was born? You asked me if any cat wept for me. If any of them called out when I left. I have your answer. They didn't. I had no real friends in Thunderclan. Everyone I ever knew lied or left me. Don't just sit there an tell me everything is going to get better through the power of friendship! They may have raised me, but it was only in action. No cat ever truly cared." She just wasn't going to get it. She was blind in the way he had been. He wanted to make her understand. To spare her a little of the heart ache he had felt. And maybe he wanted to hurt her. Maybe he wanted a little revenge. Maybe he even believe he deserved it. Who could say they deserved it more than him, after all?
"Perhaps there are cats in Thunderclan who care. Perhaps you've even found them and they care for you, but the clan as a whole is rotten down to its bones! Trust me I've seen it first hand. Clan cats are raised on violence, so that's all they ever know! All they do is fight and kill and fight and kill meaninglessly! Just think of how many lives could be saved if every cat just worked together! Not throughout the territory but even just within the clan. If every cat could just be on the same page. It could work! A clan like that would be matchless. But it'll never happen. There will never be a day when the clan's striving ceases. They're built on strife! It's all they'll ever do!" He flexed his claws. He knew he sounded crazy and broken, and to some degree he knew he was, but he also knew he was right. This was the way things were. They were the way things had always been, tracing as far back and Eveningstar. As a kit and as an apprentice he had dreamt of a day where kits could grow up in peace, without having to worry about their lives being uprooted by the constant cycle of violence. But leaving the clan had made the truth so clear. A happy generation like that could never exist among the war-mongering battle hungry cats he knew. It was impossible.
Where was Lily? This question made him pause. More pain welling up inside him as he remembered the flames. He sighed again, and tilted his head back to keep the tears from flowing. "Lily is...missing...just like every cat else. He snarled and then shook his head. "But for very different reasons. Why? Are you trying to tell me she doesn't love me either? That I'm all alone? You're a fool little warrior. And why am I out here? Thunderclan doesn't call me the way a bird calls her chicks! I'm here because I'm looking for Lily. Her love hasn't left me and I won't leave her." It occurred to him as he said this that half his anger was directed not at Thunderclan, but coming off the the recent stress of the fire. Not that it mattered now the flood gates had been opened.
Brightshadow
{A fluffy calico molly with green eyes.}
"Your kits loved you. They were no one else's, but yours. Your mate was selfish to take them away. Love and blood is common, but not a given. Just because you weren't there blood does not change the fact that you cared for them!" There was no true way to know that, but even though faint she did remember them together. "You can call me a fool for thinking that our strength is in our friends, but I believe the evidence speaks for itself. I would not be where I am today without them.
"Peace in this life is a fools errand. We all have have prejudices. We all are a little bit hateful. It is inevitable that Through our follies the peace will tear itself apart." She knew that the clans would never know peace unless something outside changed that. There was just to much bad blood between them." We will never be same no matter how much we want to be. The people we call our friends and family won't be the same. Grudges will grow. Sustaining something like that would be impossible unless we were united in our beliefs, but that will never happen or it would have already. All you can do in this life is protect the home you have built from others who want to destroy it. If that leads to war so be it. I'd do anything for my clan for my family, and they'd do anything for me"
"You say you left to find your kits, So tell me where are they? They aren't here are they? When did you give up on them? You've said Thunderclan gave up on you. If that hurt so bad then why'd you leave your kits behind? By your definition you truly do belong with us." She knew her words were harsh, but he wasn't holding anything back, so why should she? "Maybe you have found your new clan with Lily, and maybe your kits are happy where they are. " Her gaze was quiet. "All I see is a broken cat running from the truth. At some point you'll reach the end of the road. Maybe this is it this is the end. The monster chasing you is waiting for an answer. Do you know what it is? Her tail swept around her pause, and her attention turned back to the rain. "You're as broken as the rest of us, maybe it's time to come home."
Re: All the Blame Born of Sorrow(P)
