Déjà vu [p]

***Rani*** · #1 September 3rd, 2024, 05:27 AM

Larkthroat
Starclan Queen | She/Her | 25 Moons at death

World Weaver T2 | Previously Windclan

One step forward, two steps back. It was always one step forward and two steps back, how was a single cat to fight against the looming tide of fate and the malice of apathy? Larkthroat had gained some of Lightningstorm's hard earned trust, started to trying to reestablish the sacred bond between medicine cat and starclan all for it to wiped away with her memories. Stolen by a double edged gift Lightningstorm didnt even ask for.

It felt like there was nothing of real meaning Larkthroat could do in the end. One step forward, two steps back.

Except.... Larkthroat had made her bond to the medicine cat to help, to support and be there for windclan. So even if it got nowhere and the cruel claws of fate tore all progress away again the queen had to persist.

Once again Lightningstorm was summoned into the star dappled celestial field of starclan. Once again Larkthroat was waiting for her. Once again she introduced herself.

"Greetings and be welcomed Lightningstorm, I am Larkthroat, a queen of starclan and once windclan.

Some time ago we knew eachother, and Ive delivered prophecies and assistance to you before but the past matters little. What matters rather more is Im here to do it again."
Now that she knew the feeling the cow spotted molly could feel the weight of the future pushing against her throat. Of fate needed to be spoken and changed.

They had some time here in the timeless dreams however.
"If you wish to ask me anything before then however I promise to do my best to give answers. I do truly want to help."

@Alchemist Kitsune

***Alchemist Kitsune*** · #2 Yesterday, 03:01 PM

She'd been here before. Lightningstorm had forgotten faces. The names associated with them. But the familiarity that each location she had grown accustomed to in some way was still there. The knowledge of her surroundings returning to her the moment she stepped foot upon them.

Lifting her head from between her paws, the medicine cat woke up to fields she hadn't been in since her memories had been taken from her, their familiarity taking her by surprise. Was this a dream? Or was it memory? The last time this had happened the location was... not one she was familiar with. Her visitor one she had thought a mere vision from her past trying to come through the dark crevice her entire being seemed to have been banished to until he started saying things that she couldn't have known. Spewing facts she shouldn't have been privy to. There was no such sense of discomfort here. No soggy sand nor loud waves. No nearly drowned black and white cat to speak to her.

Blinking, the herbalist got up, studying her surroundings. Unaware of her company until lapis hues met brown and for a moment she thought her starless visitor had come back for another visit. She opened her mouth, about to call out Cowmoon's given name. The one she was still convinced did not fit the tufted warrior. And yet she noticed her mistake before she could greet him. Because this was not him... but her. The eyes were wrong. The patches heart achingly similar yet not in the right places. But most importantly of all... stars adorned this one's pelt where only darkness seemed to have consumed the other. Lightningstorm's heart didn't feel the same trepidation of equal parts joy and anger at the sight of her. Merely a sense of ease. Of mild familiarity. The same clanmates like Firestorm and Crowtooth had radiated with when she'd first met them for the second time in her life.

"Larkthroat," she repeated, the name flowing out of her mouth easier than Cowmoon's had. Unlike the previous black and white feline, it appeared the star clad one had no lies to offer with her words. Nothing to hide from her even as the medicine cat tilted her head curiously, assessing the former WindClan queen.

"We knew each other? Were you like Cowmoon, then? No... you have brought prophecies, you say? That must mean you are an ancestor proper, not from my time?" Lightningstorm continued, her gaze adopting a thoughtful expression as she sat. "I doubt this is about what was taken... but considering I haven't had any contact from StarClan since... Well, I suppose this isn't a social call."

Questions. That was what Larkthroat had claimed she was here to respond to. And questions the herbalist had. Like what the hell had happened to her memories? Because try as much as she liked, it didn't make sense. She had treated cats with amnesia since her own recollections vanished, and it just wasn't the same. There were even times when she could feel them. When she realized her memories were coming back, only for a blinding headache to take them all away again. Was it true then? What Cowmoon had said? That StarClan had taken them all away?

The wiry framed she-cat studied the queen curiously as she debated this dubious knowledge she had gleaned from her previous visitor, and yet unlike him, this one seemed to be here with no secrets. Nothing hidden within. The wish to help was still there... yet there was something selfless here that the other had lacked. And yet this wasn't the only question that burned in the back of her throat. What of her family? Was she a part of it? Why had two cats that seemed so... similar somehow visited her? True, she looked nothing like Cowmoon and Larkthroat, but why else would they feel like the closest she'd felt to family since waking up in the nursery. Outside of course of her oddly overprotective urge to keep those bloodied kits she'd seen when she'd first opened her eyes. But that was different, she was sure. How could you not feel some level of responsibility for kits you first encounter in a situation like that? Where the mother should have been dead despite what you assume was your best shot yet somehow she wasn't.

What of friends? Her past in the clan? Why did some cats look at her with trepidation in their eyes? With fear or distrust? Had she done something to earn their suspicions? Had this been the reason StarClan had wiped her clean of any knowledge she had in regards to these cats? And yet even as more questions piled up in her mind, one took center piece, escaping her instinctually as the single most important query of all.

"Is WindClan in danger? Is that why you're here?"

Her intense need for knowledge could hold. She could get answers to questions about her past at any other time. There were things more important than just her at stake here. There always were. Thus was the life of a medicine cat. Besides, what did her past matter if her clan's future was uncertain in accordance to the stars?

@Rani [Larkthroat]

***Rani*** · #3 Yesterday, 06:03 PM

Larkthroat
Starclan Queen | She/Her | 25 Moons at death

World Weaver T2 | Previously Windclan

Cowmoon? That was Larkthroats first thought, ears cocking a bit at Lightningstorms words but otherwise nor reacting to the oddity. It wasnt hard to figure out what was occurring after all. The queen knew her nephew(? their family tree was so complex lets just call him that) had died but that she couldnt find him anywhere which..... well it implied a few things that she didnt want to linger on. She wasnt worried about Cowtuft interacting with Lightningstorm, he cared too much about her to harm her, even after all that happened to him. In a way it was nice he was still there for her, even in death, even if he only had the courage when she didnt remember him or what he was wrongly accused of.

It was perhaps better to let the topic of 'Cowmoon' go then and let it exist without meddling. There was other things to focus on after all.

The molly chuckled kindly shaking her head but shrugging at the question, going on to explain.
"I am not an ancestor so old as Blazingstar, who you may yet meet, however I am before your time yes. I died around the time of the famine that hit windclan during the beginning of Twilightstars leadership, and you could definitely say my 'descendant' do still live in windclan today."
Was it cowardice to omit that it was Crowtooth and he was her son not her descendant? Perhaps. But Larkthroat did not wish to bare wounds unhealed today and talk about the son she watched daily, the one who never really met her and barely remembered her name, much less her face. The son she'd so badly wanted who's birth had finished her off and was raised as not her son but anyone else's.
There was hurt there, and even now years after she was not ready to speak on it.

"And I am not an 'ancestor' so important as a leader, just a queen who wishes to help. In the past Ive noted the harm the silence of starclan can do, even if born of non malicious reasons, and wished to rectify that. I still do, really."
If the medicine cat asked she'd once again explain her theory on how starclan functioned and (in a way) didnt. But that was a choice in Lightningstorms paws as it was a lesson that came with hurt and one that might start to fracture a newly reformed optimism.

Though her next words might do that regardless, as Larkthroats head dipped in admission of weakness.
"Your memories.... I- Im sorry to say I can provide no help in telling you the why's of their loss or even help you reclaim them if that is your wish. Im not 'important' enough to know as the Covenant of the Sky keeps their secrets close, so I am limited in what I can glean

It is possible to regain what youve lost without them however, as your history is in the world of the living. Ask questions, look deeper, and you might regain what you lost.

However...... Ask yourself if you want to. You were.... not happy before, not as you are now and if you regain your memories you might very well return to a time when you were suffering in your own mind. Perhaps ask those that knew you before and after their thoughts if you want to hear more about that because though the choice is your I feel you've gained something from this too."
The queen looked deeply uncomfortable and a tad distressed explaining this. As always she was going to leave the choices up to Lightningstorm and offer help in whichever direction she went but recalling the shattered and broken cat of before was depressing to say the least. Compared to the cat of now? No memories were worth going back to that time, though it wasnt Larkthroats call.

She was much happier to move on to other things.
"Windclan is in danger yes, but much less if action is taken. I dont know the details but I can feel the weight of fate against me as we speak, so I have some gifts, knowledge, and a prophecy to try and turn its whims to fall kinder on Windclan."

@Alchemist Kitsune