the spring's light and the pine's shadow [p]

**otter** · #1 September 6th, 2024, 10:18 AM

PINEPAW
#PinepawTHC
PURRKS: THE COLLECTER, SILK SPINNER, HERABL KNOWLEDGE// THC APPRENTICE
[PP PERMS GIVEN BY ILIRI TO HAVE SPRING PULL HIM INTO A DREAM]
______________________________

Pinepaw had just closed his eyes when he felt a pull. It was tugging him somewhere, but he didn't know where. Or how. He tried to dig his claws into the ground, but it didn't help. A final tug sent him tumbling into a dreamscape.

"Woah..." he said, looking around. A grassy clearing with flowers everywhere reaching as far as he could see. Beautiful waterfalls cascading into rivers that flowed endlessly. It was so calming. And he could scent herbs. He knew the names of a few, but there was so many he didn't. He turned, scanning the terrain, when he saw a figure.

Squinting his eyes, he noticed the cat was heavily scarred. Looking even closer, he saw the pelt of the cat. A pale gray and brown calico with blue eyes. It was a familiar pelt, but it couldn't be. She was dead. She had to be.

"...Springlight? Why are you here? Why am I here?" he asked. StarClan cats could pull cats into dreams, but why him? He was just an apprentice. He was a nobody.

[ @iliri - Springlight ]

**iliri** · #2 September 7th, 2024, 03:01 PM

Springlight felt the dream pull her into a place that was both achingly familiar and painfully distant, a place where the line between memory and reality blurred. As the dream solidified around her, she found herself standing in a serene, grassy clearing, the scent of blooming flowers and fresh herbs drifting through the air like a forgotten lullaby. The scene was almost too perfect, too peaceful, as if it had been carefully crafted to contrast with the turmoil she felt inside. The clearing stretched out endlessly, a sea of vibrant colors and gentle breezes, punctuated by the soft murmur of waterfalls that fed into rivers winding gracefully through the landscape. It was the sort of place that might once have brought her peace, a sanctuary of calm where she could lose herself in the simple beauty of the world. But now, that beauty only served to remind her of what she had lost—her confidence, her sense of purpose, her belief that she could protect those who needed her most. A flicker of movement caught her eye, and Springlight turned to see a blue jay flitting through the air, its bright plumage a sharp contrast to the muted colors of the dreamscape. The bird's presence was a bittersweet reminder of her first mentor, Rabbitchatter, whose voice had once been as steady and soothing as the rivers that flowed here. She could almost hear him, his words of wisdom echoing in the back of her mind, urging her to trust in herself, to grow out of the shell that she had developed in herself. But those days felt like a lifetime ago, a time when she was whole and unbroken, before she became a medicine cat, before the owl, before the scars, before the creeping sense of failure that now shadowed her every step.

The clearing, so full of life and vibrancy, seemed almost mocking in its perfection, a cruel reminder of the peace that now eluded her. As she stood there, lost in the tangled web of her thoughts, Springlight became aware of another presence in the dream. Her heart tightened as she saw Pinepaw, the young apprentice, standing at the edge of the clearing, his eyes wide with a mix of awe and confusion. He was a sight she hadn’t expected, yet in this place, where dreams and reality intertwined, nothing truly surprised her anymore. Pinepaw’s fur bristled slightly as he took in his surroundings, his gaze flicking between the flowers and waterfalls, as if trying to make sense of where he was. He seemed so young, so uncertain, and for a moment, Springlight’s heart ached with a deep, familiar sorrow. She could feel the fear emanating from him, almost as if it were a physical force, tugging at her own anxieties and doubts. Pinepaw’s eyes finally landed on her, and she could see the shock ripple through him, his thoughts flashing across his face as clearly as if he had spoken them aloud. The scars that marred her body, the weariness in her posture—she could see it all reflected in his gaze, the unspoken question hanging between them: Was she dead? Was this a vision from StarClan? Springlight’s breath caught in her throat, the weight of his fear pressing down on her like a heavy stone. She knew what he was thinking, the doubt and dread that clouded his mind. He had seen her fall, seen her taken by that owl, and now, faced with the sight of her battered form, he could only assume the worst. That she had joined the ranks of their ancestors, leaving him and the others behind to fend for themselves. With her being a magnificent mind reader, she wasn’t surprised that he would be thinking that.

“Pinepaw,” she began softly, her voice carrying the weight of her own guilt and sorrow, each word a delicate thread woven into the fabric of the dream. She took a slow, deliberate step toward him, the soft grass underfoot bending gently beneath her paws. “You’re not in StarClan. This… this is just a dream.” She could see the confusion flicker across his face, the way his mind struggled to grasp the situation. “I’m not dead, though I know it might seem that way.” Her words hung in the air, heavy and somber, the truth of her situation sinking into the dream like a stone dropped into a pond. It was a truth that weighed on her every waking moment, a truth she had tried so hard to hide, even from herself. The reality of her injuries, of the scars that marred her once-strong body, was something she had yet to fully come to terms with. And now, faced with Pinepaw’s worried gaze, that reality felt all the more unbearable. She turned her gaze away from him for a moment, her eyes drifting over the familiar sights of the clearing, the flowers swaying gently in the breeze, the soft murmur of the waterfalls in the distance. This place, this dream, was so deeply tied to her memories of Rabbitchatter, of the times when she was the one seeking guidance, when she was the one full of questions and uncertainties about being a warrior. The memory of her first mentor was a double-edged sword, both comforting and painful, a reminder of what she had been and what she had lost. The blue jay flitted by again, its cheerful song a stark contrast to the heaviness in her heart. It was a reminder of the lessons she had learned, of the strength she had once found in her role as a healer after she was assigned with Drizzlecloud. But now, that strength felt like a distant memory, something that had slipped through her paws like water.

@forest

**otter** · #3 September 9th, 2024, 10:28 AM

PINEPAW
#PinepawTHC
PURRKS: THE COLLECTER, SILK SPINNER, HERBAL KNOWLEDGE// THC APPRENTICE // 9 MOONS

______________________________

Pinepaw blinked as Springlight began talking. It was unnatural. It felt like she was reading his mind, like she knew what he was thinking just by looking at his eyes, like they were a path to his soul. He tapped his tail awkwardly. "...Well, I wasn't actually thinking I was dead. But with the sickness going around and whatnot..." the tawny tom trailed off. He knew it was a dream. But why did it feel so surreal? Like it was real?

“I’m not dead, though I know it might seem that way.”

He stopped. She wasn't dead? Had Bumblestar been lying? Had she known? Was she as clueless as every cat in the clan to Springlight's true fate? Was he the only one who knew this? Should he tell Bumblestar this? A hundred thoughts raced through his mind like a monster on the Thunderpath. "...You're not dead? Then why does everyone think that? What about the owl? It took you away... It killed you. ThunderClan knows that." he said, humming anxiously. The young tom was beginning to wonder what this meant for the Clan. If they could find her again... ThunderClan would have a real medicine cat. Not that Hollowpaw and Wolfpaw weren't real medicine cats, they were just... inexperienced.

"Where are you?" he blurted out. "Like, where did the owl take you, if not to StarClan? Could I find you? I'll tell Bumblestar, she could send a search party!" he exclaimed. If ThunderClan could find Springlight, maybe she would know how to cure the sickness! He could be the Clan's hero! Shockhoney would have to like him back, right? And he could have everything he wanted! Bumblestar would praise him, make him a warrior and then maybe even deputy! Nobody could dislike him if he saved the Clan! And if he was leader, he could kick out Mountaintalon. He wasn't a good dad to Shockhoney anyway, so what use was he? Hopefully Mountaintalon would be the first one to die from the sickness.

Little did Pinepaw know, he wouldn't be the hero. He would just be the side character in someone else's story.

[ @iliri - Springight ]

**iliri** · #4 September 10th, 2024, 08:10 AM

Springlight’s gaze hardened as she looked at Pinepaw, her eyes reflecting the storm of emotions that churned within her like a tempestuous sea. The eagerness in his eyes, the way he clung to the idea of becoming the hero who would save ThunderClan from its troubles, was almost palpable. She could see the fervor in his gaze, the burning desire for recognition and the chance to rise above his current status. It was as if his whole being was infused with a palpable, almost tangible ambition. While his intentions were undeniably admirable, driven by a genuine concern for his clan and a deep-seated wish to make a difference, there was a raw, dangerous edge to his ambition; something she almost felt guilty with seeing. The allure of fame and the promise of heroism that beckoned him seemed dangerously misguided when set against the backdrop of her own grim reality. Her heart ached with the weight of her predicament, each beat a reminder of the burden she carried. She knew that Pinepaw’s well-meaning but ill-informed enthusiasm had the potential to unravel the delicate balance she was striving so hard to maintain. His dreams of heroism were tainted by the risk of inciting chaos and fostering false hope. The disparity between his youthful idealism and her own harsh reality was stark, painting a poignant picture of the complexities and challenges they both faced. Her own helplessness created a profound sense of sorrow and regret that seemed to press down on her with every breath. The contrast between his hopeful aspirations and her desperate circumstances underscored the depth of the emotional chasm separating them, amplifying the weight of her own feelings of inadequacy and frustration.

“No,” Springlight said firmly, though her voice trembled under the weight of her anxiety and uncertainty. “You can’t tell Bumblestar or anyone else about this. Not yet.” She paused, taking a deep breath as she struggled to steady her racing thoughts. Her eyes were pools of deep concern and frustration, reflecting the tumultuous emotions roiling inside her. “The owl didn’t take me to StarClan. I’m… I’m somewhere far from ThunderClan, in a place far that transcends your understanding. The complexity of my situation is beyond anything you could imagine. Revealing this to them now would only lead to confusion and panic among ThunderClan. What ThunderClan needs is stability and clarity to navigate these trying times, not the upheaval of false hope or the rash decisions that would stem from incomplete and misleading information.” Her heart ached as she tried to come to grips with the severity of the sickness Pinepaw had mentioned, an ailment she hadn’t even known had gripped her former clan at the moment. “I had no idea ThunderClan was facing such a dire situation,” she continued, her voice faltering with a mixture of sorrow and disbelief. “This sickness you’re saying—it sounds incredibly severe, but I am wholly unaware of its full extent and impact that you are saying. The thought that I am unable to be there to offer help or provide comfort to those I care about weighs heavily on me. If word of my true situation were to spread, it would lead to futile searches and further distress, adding to the chaos rather than alleviating it. ThunderClan needs to concentrate on managing this sickness with the limited resources they currently possess, rather than being thrown into turmoil by the false hope of a return that is, at this moment, unavailable. The consequences of such a revelation would worsen their suffering and cause unnecessary struggles within the clan.”

She knew her consistent wording might confuse the poor feline, but she needed him to grasp the gravity of the situation and the potential consequences if he were to divulge any information to Bumblestar or anyone else. Each word she spoke carried the weight of her frustration and fear, knowing that revealing her true circumstances could spark an upheaval of emotions, spread misinformation, and lead to misguided efforts that would only worsen the turmoil ThunderClan was already grappling with. The idea of her true predicament leaking out filled her with dread, as she was acutely aware that such a revelation could ignite a flurry of chaos, disrupting the fragile stability the clan desperately needed. She was not dismissing Pinepaw’s concerns or belittling his role; rather, she was desperately trying to impress upon him the profound and far-reaching impact that careless disclosure could have. Her heart ached with the knowledge that Pinepaw’s well-intentioned actions, motivated by his own ambitions and the sincere desire to help, might inadvertently cause more harm than good. The complexity of her own situation only deepened her frustration and helplessness, adding layers of urgency to her plea. She hoped that Pinepaw could truly understand the critical importance of discretion, recognizing that the clan needed to focus on managing its crisis with the resources at hand, rather than being burdened by false hopes or disrupted expectations. The weight of her own helplessness made the conversation feel all the more pressing and significant. To try to get past the topic, she may as well try to ask about other things.

Her thoughts drifted to her family and friends, each reflection steeped in deep concern. She wondered about her mother, Dovefluff, and how she was coping with the uncertainty and strain that must have gripped ThunderClan in her absence. The image of her mother, perhaps worried or struggling to manage the challenges without her, weighed heavily on her heart. She longed to know if Dovefluff was alright, if she was finding the strength to support the clan despite the absence of her eldest daughter. The thought of her mother’s distress, compounded by the clan’s plight, was a poignant reminder of how much she wished she could be there to offer her support. Her mind then wandered to Orangeblossom, the ginger tom who had shown her such kindness and understanding. She felt a pang of guilt, realizing she had not been able to be there for him in his time of need. The possibility that he was struggling, perhaps dealing with his own uncertainties and fears, added another layer of sorrow to her already heavy heart. She wondered how he was managing, if he was holding up well amidst the chaos that now engulfed the clan. “Pinepaw,” she said softly, her voice carrying a note of earnest concern, “can you tell me how my mother is doing? Is she managing alright? And Orangeblossom—how is he? I worry about them both. I wish I could be there to help them through this. The thought of them facing these trials without me fills me with a deep sense of dread. Please, if you can, let me know how they are holding up. Their well-being is a constant source of worry for me, knowing that I am far away and unable to offer any support through this.” The depth of her concern for her loved ones reflected the profound sense of isolation she felt in her current predicament. The emotional weight of not being able to be present for those she cared about was a constant burden, and she hoped that Pinepaw’s responses might offer some solace, even if it was just a small glimpse into their lives during these challenging times. What made this worse for the scarred feline with her being acutely unaware of her mother’s potential demise.

@forest [ sorry if a portion of this doesn’t make sense or smth wodjdkckdj ]

**otter** · #5 September 10th, 2024, 10:35 AM

PINEPAW
#PinepawTHC
PURRKS: THE COLLECTER, SILK SPINNER, HERBAL KNOWLEDGE// THC APPRENTICE // 9 MOONS

______________________________

Pinepaw tapped his tail as she spoke. "Ok, I won't tell Bumblestar. And I hope you'll make it home soon. ThunderClan needs you." he said, humming. He listened as she continued talking. He zoned out a bit, but he was mostly still listening. Key word, mostly.

"The sickness is bad. We've tried everything, but it won't go away. Catmint seems to be making the sickness worse, even though it's like greencough. I want to cure this sickness... because I want to save my dad. Sproutfleck. I don't think he'll actually adopt me officially, but I still think of him as my dad, and he thinks of me as his son. He's the only thing I have left." he murmured, his voice shaking on the last few words. The young tom felt a few tears rolling down his cheek, and raised his paw to wipe them away. "S-Sorry for tearing up." he muttered awkwardly.

He heard Springlight mention Orangeblossom, and his ears perked up happily. "Orangeblossom's doing well! He's my mentor, you know that? He misses you, but he's trying his best. He even killed the owl that ki- I mean took you away! I think he's doing well, though he may be good at hiding his true feelings..." he said sadly. Pinepaw suddenly realized that she was asking about her mother. Her mother... was Dovefluff.

"Oh StarClan..." he said. How did he tell her that her mother was dead? Eaten by a fox. Killed. "Dovefluff... Dovefluff is dead. She was taken by a fox. We found her blood and fur scattered near a fox den. The fox scent was overwhelming. That's what the patrol said anyway. I wasn't on it, but..." he began to tear up more, tears rolling down his cheeks as he softly sobbed. "I just don't want Sproutfleck to die. Please, please tell me a way I can save him. I've lost two parents and a sister already. I can't lose another. He's my everything, the one who loves me. And he's all my power, all my power... but it's getting worse. I need him to live. Please." he sobbed, burying his face into Springlight's shoulder for comfort. But as he did that, memories flashed back to him. Ones he would have once loved to relive, but now they killed him inside.

"I'm scared, Mister Sprouts."

"but he felt safe. Safe with Mr. Sprouts."

"So he just sat still, patting Pinepaw on the shoulder with one paw once before placing the speckled paw on the earth again."

[ @iliri - Springlight (how many references are there: level impossible) ]