apologies of the awkward kind

[taillow]

Dusklion - RiverClan Deputy

It was time. Between getting ready to scout for the new camp, securing their territory, and fighting off the last bout of her sickness that had kept her down, Dusklion had decided today was the day she was going to approach Wisteriawren. Did her heart still ache a bit at the thought of her feelings directed towards someone else? Yeah. But more than that, she just missed her friend. Sure they weren't best friends by any means, but the silver tabby provided a sort of comfort that Dusk didn't find often in Clanmates. Especially with her paranoia acting up since their return and everything that had happened, she wanted to hold onto that.

It had started with the deputy sitting at the abandoned twoleg den, shifting her paws. She would get up, start to walk, then turn right back around and mutter a string of curses under her breath. Why was this so hard? She did it a couple other times before finally sucking in a deep breath and pushing through the invisible veil of anxiety that had(n't) been stopping her.

Each paw step that brought her closer to where Wisteria was made her heart leap further into her throat until eventually she was standing right in front of her. "...Hi."

...Oh, StarClan strike her down now.

Embarrassment burned her ears hot as Dusklion let out an awkward chuckle through a half-grin. "Sorry. That was... Um, do you... do you have a moment?" Every part of her was screaming to run and flee from this uncomfortable and awkward situation. But she stood her ground, kept her gaze from wavering, and waited to see what Wisteriawren's answer would be.

[ @Rose makeup time! (hopefully skjdfs) ]

[Rose]

She/Her | Purrk(s): Just A Scratch

Wisteriawren had been grooming her fur, staring down at the two bite marks that adorned her front right limb, thinking about a specific black and white cat with unease when a familiar (was it still considered familiar if it had not been directed at her in some time?) voice reached her ears.

Her ears flicked, head turning to look up at the deputy, body going still. She was unsure if she was frozen in disbelief or if she was terrified out of her wits. Her mouth was dry, mind having shut down out of pure panic. Wisteriawren had to wrest back control and force her maw to part, voice quiet. “...Yes.”

[ @taillow - Dusklion ]

[taillow]

Dusklion - RiverClan Deputy

Something about the obvious panic that radiated from the she-cat before her made Dusklion's heart drop under the crushing weight of the guilt she'd been feeling since their falling out. They hadn't spoken really since that fateful day in the mountains and the dark tabby wanted to rip her fur out thinking about it now.

Originally, she had intended to seek Wisteriawren out after she had made it out of those daunting tunnels - but some kind of illness had grabbed ahold of her first. Now that it was loosening it's grip on her though, the deputy knew what she had to do. Was her heart still a little bit in love with the pretty she-cat? ...The deputy figured that would always be the case. But more than that, she just... missed her friend.

"Here, let's... uh... let's move over here." Nerves tingled her paws as Dusklion trotted a few paces away from the makeshift camp, far enough away to where her words wouldn't be overheard by those still in camp. Her heart continued to pound in her chest and blood roared in her ears, but she managed to turn and face Wisteriawren and take a seat. "I, um... I wanted to, er..."

Stars, this was difficult. Not because she didn't mean it, but because Dusklion hated this. Being vulnerable, showing her true emotions. She tried so hard to hide them and worked so hard to make it impossible to see the cracks underneath that whenever they did reveal themselves, she didn't know how to function. It felt robotic and awkward and her mind constantly screamed at her to run away and hide and just forget about it. Even now, as her mind worked to figure this out, her expressions constantly changed and her paws fidgeted below her. Whiskers twitched as she opened her maw, then closed it again, little shakes of her head becoming increasingly evident.

"...You were always a good friend to me, even before... all of that-" a vague gesturing to what had happened in the mountains, "-'n I was never... really a friend to you. I put too much on you, 'n was selfish 'n didn't... talk to you after... it all... 'n I didn't realize how... how stupid it was until I... I got stuck in those stars-awful caves in the mountains, 'n..." Swallowing thickly the deputy lifted her gaze to meet Wisteriawren's for the first time - but her nerves had her looking away.

She was almost done. Hopefully. Her mind continued to scramble for purchase in words that her thoughts could form, already feeling like she was messing this up and not getting her point across. Why was it hard to say two words??? "...'M... well, I just wanted to say... you know, after everythin' 'n... all of that... um..." Another nervous swallow as she forced her gaze to look at her friend. "...'M sorry. For, uh, shuttin' you out... 'n not bein' a good friend when you... probably needed one..." The blood roaring in her ears was so loud that Dusklion could barely hear herself over it.

Heaving a sigh, the dark tabby let out a chuckle and shook out her pelt as she remained seated, tail thumping the ground next to her. "What 'm tryin' to say, is that... well, I miss your friendship... 'n I was thinkin'... maybe we could just... start over as friends?" There was a small glimmer of hope in her eyes - but not for the chance at any romantic relationship with the cat before her. Despite the little piece of her heart she knew would always belong to the cat before her, Dusklion respected her too much and missed her too much to let another day go by without them at least being friends.

...Now all that was left was to hope that Wisteriawren didn't hate her for everything.

[ @Rose - shes so NERVOUS LOL ]

[Rose]

She/Her | Purrk(s): Just A Scratch

Oh... oh. That was... quite a lot. For a while, Wisteriawren remained silent, mulling it all over.

The mountains had been... a lot. They had broken and made all of them. Wisteriawren had passed through one of the worst times of her life. Away from Greta, in an unfamiliar territory, traumatized from getting attacked, the flight from her new home, being ditched by both of her only friends, struggling through being mentally and physically unwell after Fadingstar's rejection with no one in her corner, and then picking up the broken, leftover remains of herself afterward - it had been a lot.

But just like that, she knew she wasn't the only one who had gone through a rollercoaster ride of new emotions. In the end, it just made her feel sad, that Dusklion felt like she had to apologize, to say sorry, when even Wisteriawren had lacked.

“You were not there when I needed you most, Dusklion.” Her voice was quiet, wavering slightly. But she continued, because the last thing she wanted to do was lose her friend. “Just as I was not better for you in your time of need. I will forgive and I will forget, but not all you meet will push things aside so easily. Remember that for me, before you lose someone else you didn't want to.” She didn't want Dusklion to go through that pain.

Her smile started small and hesitant and wobbly. “But... I don't see a reason to start over when you were already a wonderful friend.”

[ @taillow - Dusklion ]