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  #1  
Old June 23rd, 2024, 12:29 AM
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Exclamation a mutt that weeps after it kills is still a disobedient dog [ p ]



✧˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ [ COWTUFT ‼ ] ˚。⋆ ༘˚✧
┆彡 THE MARTYR
| DARK FOREST RESIDENT | 33 MOONS ✮✮✮
✩。°°。✩ he . . him ➔ massive white tom with black splotches and floppy ears. scars cover his neck. x-marks on his shoulders and his left hindleg is covered in burn scars
╭₊˚purrks﹕monkey's paw, the collector, herb knowledge, kitty softpaws ₊˚੭
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
⌦ .。.:* ✮ @Alchemist Kitsune
your guilt cannot purify you — you've dug your grave now lie in it

time seems to evade him. the crooked trees loom overhead and the sky is of pure ink. there are no stars, and there is no sun. there is a chill that sits so deep inside his bones that it is as if he has never tasted eternal heat. the scars on his leg says otherwise, though, it is a reminder. (his body is a graveyard of reminders. )

his fur is entwined with twigs and rotten leaves, dirt & mud covering his legs. there is no light in his mismatched irises. he runs and runs and runs through the dead grass, someone is chasing after him. he cannot recall how long he has been running. that is all he does - he tries to run away, to find another place to hide deep inside the ground before he is discovered again.




his thoughts felt splintered, deliberately avoiding rumination until something reminded him. something always did - something always brought him back to the past and then he would forget and then it would repeat. he felt lost within himself, his thoughts consisting of vivid dreams that took him away from this wretched place. never for long enough.

looking into the living world had been a fluke; he had not particularly known that was something he could do. it came in glimpses and flashes, sometimes he knew not what was real and what was simply created within his own head. however, with particular dread the former medicine cat had started to realize something was terribly wrong. at - at least it appeared to be that way. snippets of speech - never explaining fully but from what he had gathered his apprentice had lost her memories. some? all? it was clueless to him.

he should not interfere. if he was her, he would never want to see him again no matter the situation. the blood on his paws would never wash away. his intent would never deter the impact he had on lightningstorm. she had been closer to him than his own family had which is perhaps why thinking of her was as if setting his chest ablaze. his guilt felt all-consuming; it had jaws and it wished to swallow him whole.

but he loved her and the stars were silent as they always were. if flickerlight had been able to visit him all the moons ago then he had to be able to do the same. if that was the situation, he could not sit idle. he wanted to help - he needed to help and perhaps selfishly, he hoped she did not remember him. that she would forget him completely so they could interact as strangers once more — he could assist, and that would be the conclusion.

she did not need to suffer.




the splotched tom stepped slowly into the freezing water, his heart thumping in his chest. his limbs protested against him, a buzzing forming in his paws. he believed he had managed to throw flickerlight off his trail long enough – this was his chance to see her. he had been trying, ever so slowly to learn how to slip away. the water, unfortunately, seemed to be about the only thing that allowed him to focus long enough to do anything. the biting cold numbed all his senses. he stepped further and further until he became submerged in the black water; his vision becoming black.

he let his limbs fall limp, drifting deeper and deeper into the lake. his chest screamed for air but he knew he did not need it. he didn’t know how long he sat at the bottom of that lake until his thoughts took him away. it was if stretching out blindly as he focused on the thought of lightningstorm. everything he could remember about her. her fur, her voice, her scent, her jokes - and he felt something. a warm buzz.

and then with great effort he tugged and tugged until he felt his own reality slip away. he would awake in a different dreamscape. a small, small island with a singular weeping willow. large waves crashed against the bank. and he waited with bated breath to see if she would join him.

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  #2  
Old July 2nd, 2024, 09:02 PM
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Default Re: a mutt that weeps after it kills is still a disobedient dog [ p ]


| Lightningstorm |
20 Moons - WindClan Medicine Cat
Flock Together [Tier 3] - Inactive | Mind Reader - Active | Dreamwalker - Inactive



Her dreams had been strange for as long as she could remember. Admittedly, that wasn't much. Her amnesia the biggest oddity in her life... yet one that had been surprisingly unobtrusive. Lightningstorm hadn't found much in the form of friends in her clan, and most certainly not in the way of family, but she could do her job. She was at peace. She was grateful for such things... and yet the sleeping world was... murky. Filled with silent lightning in the best of nights. Smoke, distant screams, darkness, and the reek of singed flesh in the worst. She didn't understand them. These strange dreams of hers. But they were a constant. Always there. Remnants, perhaps, of that which had been lost?

Her shock was clear, then, when she found herself in such a wholly different place. The atmosphere gloomy. Dank. Horrendously crashing with the serenity of what her eyes perceived, the singular willow tree that made its presence known welcoming in its own right as delicate paws approached them. Her curiosity was all consuming, something she knew she'd always carried within. This thirst for knowledge was not a new thing. She could feel it in her very bones. Whiskers pursed as she sniffed the air, only to be distracted by the thunderous crashing of a wave.

Muscles tensed beneath the molly's short coat, fur fluffing up lightly as large ears flattened. It wasn't until she realized what had scared her to begin with that she allowed herself to relax, a snort of amusement escaping her. What was it about dreams that made her so jumpy? You would believe she was constantly assaulted by ruthless nightmares judging solely by her less than serendipitous encounter with this place. And all because some waves had crashed on the shore? Stars, maybe she'd lost a little more than just memories.

"Bit over the top with the noise on here, innit?" Lightningstorm mewed to no one in particular, her tendency to speak to herself having simply become more pronounced in time as loneliness became the natural state of her every day life.



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  #3  
Old July 31st, 2024, 07:49 PM
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wolfie wolfie is offline
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Default Re: a mutt that weeps after it kills is still a disobedient dog [ p ]



✧˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ [ COWTUFT ‼ ] ˚。⋆ ༘˚✧
┆彡 THE MARTYR
| DARK FOREST RESIDENT | 28 MOONS (AT DEATH) ✮✮✮
✩。°°。✩ he . . him ➔ massive white tom with black splotches and floppy ears. scars cover his neck. x-marks on his shoulders and his left hindleg is covered in burn scars
╭₊˚purrks﹕monkey's paw, the collector, herb knowledge, kitty softpaws ₊˚੭
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
⌦ .。.:* ✮ @Alchemist Kitsune

After a while, the martyr thought perhaps she would not be coming and he would sit here alone. He felt firmly placed, present - which was peculiar. He knew not how to leave. What was his body doing outside of here? Floating aimlessly? Cowtuft's thoughts continued to drift, his body shielded by the bushes. A disconnect between his body and mind before a familiar voice caused every movement, every thought to adjourn.

With a startled squeak, the giant splotched tom spun around on his paws. Of course, he always forgets he can't quite feel when his frontpaws step on each other. He attempts to move onward but instead of perhaps a graceful approach to Lightningstorm — Cowtuft stumbles forward out of the bushes and lands flat on his face in front of her path. He lets out a defeated mrrow before gradually pushing himself back into sitting position.

The former medicine cat blinks rapidly, his nose twitching. His fur still was dripping with the water. At least the mud was mostly off. Leaves and twigs were less but er, they were always a hassle.

"Uhm, q - quite so..! Incredibly er, salty,, too.... I absolutely m - must .. advise not swimming... Very much a,,, eye irritant, indeed,,,,, " He blurted out nervously, unable to fully meet his apprentice's gaze as burning shame begun to fill his veins; a wildfire. He waited - waited to see if she remembered. His heart thumped loudly against his chest, blood roaring in floppy ears.
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whatever happens, whatever happens
(whatever happens) ★ ❞
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Last edited by wolfie; July 31st, 2024 at 07:49 PM.
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  #4  
Old August 17th, 2024, 07:12 PM
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Alchemist Kitsune Alchemist Kitsune is offline
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Default Re: a mutt that weeps after it kills is still a disobedient dog [ p ]


| Lightningstorm |
20 Moons - WindClan Medicine Cat
Flock Together [Tier 3] - Active | Mind Reader - Active | Dreamwalker - Inactive



Almond shaped eyes grew round as the massive form of a feline stumbled and tumbled its way in front of her, catching her entirely off guard. Lightningstorm hadn't expected the company. The one constant her dreams had always carried with them had been how solitary they were. Much like her life, it had seemed. It tugged at her heart. Left an odd void that she couldn't quite understand. A hollowness that seemed to scream at the sight of this giant with the mismatched eyes and his slow, timid way of speaking. That made the blood roar in her ears at the gaze that refused to meet her own.

"Is that so?" she asked, keeping the conversation going by instinct, unwilling to outwardly show just how displaced this stranger had made her. How out of sorts she felt at the sight of him, emotions she couldn't understand wanting to make themselves known... yet blocked by something stronger than themselves.

"Well, if the water's no good, I can recommend a good celandine ointment. Squeeze the herbs carefully into your eyes and you'll be proper good. Can't let those pretty little eyes of yours get any more injured than that if we can avoid it, now can we?"

Lightningstorm's tongue swiped out of her mouth, licking her whiskers clean shortly after speaking. The longer she stared at this cat, the more her heart hurt. She supposed it made sense. The cat looked like misery incarnate. Like if unhappiness was the day to day in a bleak, meandering existence.

And yet that couldn't be right. This wasn't like her time in the real world. In the waking world. Where every cat's life was separate to her own. This was a dream. She knew as much. Was aware enough to understand the difference between the moors and wherever here was. Which meant this cat must be... a part of her dreams? Perhaps some distant memory? It would explain her reaction. Her need to reassure this cat that she wouldn't hurt it. That everything would be alright. The much more vicious undertone of how that was a lie. How nothing would ever be alright again.

"Name's Lightningstorm," the tortoiseshell and white finally stated, lowering her head in an attempt to meet the stranger's eyes. "But you... already know that, right?"

Stars above, it sounded so positively self centered. The assurance that this cat she'd never seen before - that she possibly couldn't remember - knew her somehow. And yet it was all that made sense. Because... he was here with her in her dream. If he was a memory, then she could only assume this was some strange manifestation of her own knowledge come to haunt her subconscious somehow. Which meant... she might just get answers to her lost memories. A clue on how to reobtain them. An empty dream, perhaps. But nothing ventured nothing gained... and with everything shunned and lost to the dark, there was nothing to do but gain from this slight chance to tread on forgotten ground.



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  #5  
Old August 26th, 2024, 01:24 AM
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wolfie wolfie is offline
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Default Re: a mutt that weeps after it kills is still a disobedient dog [ p ]



✧˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ [ COWTUFT ‼ ] ˚。⋆ ༘˚✧
┆彡 THE MARTYR
| DARK FOREST RESIDENT | 28 MOONS (AT DEATH) ✮✮✮
✩。°°。✩ he . . him ➔ massive white tom with black splotches and floppy ears. scars cover his neck. x-marks on his shoulders and his left hindleg is covered in burn scars
╭₊˚purrks﹕monkey's paw, the collector, herb knowledge, kitty softpaws ₊˚੭
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
⌦ .。.:* ✮ @Alchemist Kitsune

Ooh, he sucked in a breath at a simple question. Only three words, but he felt scrutinized by them. As if he was soon to be picked apart by vultures. It wasn't surprising, his apprentice had always been an observant one. Her expression remained unchanged. She was always better at that then him.

Cowtuft blinks rapidly, attempting to cut his thoughts off. Despite the rising sentiments, he had a simple task here. His selfish desires could be put away. He gives a quick nod of confirmation, attempting to look at her.

His heart settles slightly in his chest at Lightningstorm's second statement. Helpful as always, but it confirmed she unlikely remembered him. There would be no reason to teach him something she was well aware he knew. ,, unless she was attempting to play sly. (stars!! what an awful thought, he despised the doubt in his chest. )

An awkward chuckle escapes him, subconsciously reaching up to paw at his left eye. "Aaa, th- thank you, dear ,, I .. will keep that in mind,, uuhm do you know what it.. looks like? Or, perhaps i - itss scent, " Cowtuft inquired, trying to play the role of naïve. Was, was it hot in here or was it just him? He felt like his fur may melt off.

His large, feathery tail coils around his large body like a python. A silence stretches between them — he opens his mouth to speak, to attempt to break up her memory. He closes it, finding the words choking up in his throat. Twisting and twisting. Once he saw her, truly looked at her - mismatched irises dragging across a familiar, yet older (tired) form. Cowtuft had a hard time looking away. It was his apprentice. Little lily.

She felt more like family then anything. And yet, he had hurt her. He had betrayed her, he had betrayed everyone. His whole life's meaning was to serve, to help and he had became the thing he feared - destruction.

Lightningstorm meets his eyes fully and his heart stops pounding. She knows. She knows. She knows. She knows. She knows. She knows.

Cowtuft's form vanishes, the dream dropping for a moment.




WATER FILLS HIS LUNGS, HE DOES NOT NEED TO BREATHE. EVERYTHING IS NUMB, HE IS FROZEN, ENDLESSLY FLOATING IN THE SILENCE. HIS BODY APPROACHES THE SURFACE, AND A MUFFLED, DREADFUL VOICE CALLS.

"Oooh, Coww! Come out, come out whereeverr you aree! You know there's no use in hiding, how many times do I have to smash your skull in for you to GET that?"

MANIANCAL LAUGHTER FOLLOWS AFTER, HE IS CLOSE. HE NEEDS TO RUN FAR, FAR AWAY. INSTEAD, HE SINKS BACK DOWN. DOWN.
DOWN
D
O
W
N





Cowtuft flickers back in, getting whiplash from the sudden change. He needs to respond now lest she clues in a bit more than he would prefer. If she truly, truly knew who he was — there would not be smiles. Expect, he cannot lie to her fully. It is stupid, to attempt to stick by morals when he had already gone beyond but he cannot bare the thought of doing so to Lightningstorm. So instead, he dances around it the best he's able.

"I - I do, ," He pipes up, voice slightly squeaker due to panic. "We were, ah, clanmates but, uhm - I met, my er, demise. It's - it's why I wanted to, talk to you? I, well, " He shuffles around with his paws, doing his best to not stumble over his words so much. "I think .. the stars are cruel at times. They took something from you. And, while uhm, I don't .. know the specific extent.. of how much they,, took.. I did.. know you, even briefly. Our clanmates longer, " Cowtuft explains, brief could be,, subjective. Maybe. He had known .. some of their clanmates longer. It's the best he has.

"I figured.. I could.. answer questions, or, or such.... R, really, whatever you .. think may be helpful, .. " He offers, taking a pause. Right. Name. Name. Name. Name.

"I'm, Cowmoon, " ooh golly. He had to go with that one. Of course, when drawing a complete blank the second name Flickerlight had supposedly thought of ,, choosing? came to him. He is already in too deep.
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❝ ★ fetch the bolt cutters, i've been in here too long.
whatever happens, whatever happens
(whatever happens) ★ ❞
wormbite's secret love childrenpronouns . cc[tw] bones and all

Last edited by wolfie; August 26th, 2024 at 01:30 AM.
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  #6  
Old September 7th, 2024, 01:05 PM
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Alchemist Kitsune Alchemist Kitsune is offline
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Default Re: a mutt that weeps after it kills is still a disobedient dog [ p ]


| Lightningstorm |
20 Moons - WindClan Medicine Cat
Flock Together [Tier 3] - Active | Mind Reader - Active | Dreamwalker - Inactive | Katty Krueger - Inactive



The question was innocent. Spoken timidly. Endearing, even. The voice felt oddly like... home. The words familiar. Like a test. As if she had heard something similar in this same tone sometime before. But why? Who was this cat? And why did it feel like such a benign question hid something from her? She didn't understand. Not one bit. Not why he seemed so reluctantly... disappointed in some way. Nor why her heart kept beating so fast. This was a stranger to her. Could it be her memories had somehow failed to completely snuff out her feelings when they had run away? Hidden in some dark crevice of her soul?

"'Course," she mews, nodding as she decides to indulge him. She has no idea what he is hiding, but she knows one truth. There is nothing to gain from hiding such knowledge from him. Not while it is clear he suffers here.

"The smell..." she hesitates for a moment before a cheeky grin spreads across her maw, lighting up her eyes with mischief. "Well, it smells like right arse, dunnit?"

A giggle escapes her. For some reason, she can't help but imagine that this tom won't be too fond of her choice of words. A small sensation of being glared at in a friendly, almost parental, chastising matter overcomes her, and she feels a small tear form at the corner of her eye. Paw raised, she wipes it away, hoping her laughter will make it seem as though her eyes have merely moistened with glee. It's such a strange feeling. This overbearing sense of dread that everything will go wrong, that everything is lost... and something else. Something warm and welcoming. A sense of belonging unlike anything she's felt in the clan since she opened her eyes in the nursery surrounded by panicked cats and enough blood to warrant a death that never came.

"You might have a better time identifying it by looks. It's a yellow flower. Very delicate looking, with only four petals... although I have seen some with five. Their leaves are hairy as an elder's ears, too."

It seems her explanation worked somehow, the tom finally meeting her eyes, causing a momentary panic to scream at the back of her head. A longing to ask him... something. If only she knew what that something was. And yet, even as she pondered... he vanished. Gone in the blink of an eye. Surprise flitted through her face, large ears perked up. Was that it, then? No... it couldn't be. Could it?

She almost yelped in shock as the tom reappeared, almond shaped eyes rounded. Had it all been in her head? Well... technically this was all in her head. Perhaps that same panic she'd felt had made him leave? Had coaxed her hidden memories to expel him from this place until she questioned it. She didn't have enough information to assure herself this was the case. The sole information she could rely on was that this was not a StarClan visitor. It could not be. She had none yet, not since she'd forgotten everyone, but her knowledge was still there. StarClan cats had stars in their pelt, and this one had none. What could he be if not a distant memory masquerading as a dream?

The panic in his voice mirrors the one she felt when he spoke and she can't help but wonder... was it all her fault? He says he was a clanmate? That much she had assumed, but had they been close? Had he been a patient she had once lost? Was this her memory's attempt at forcing her to remember what was best left forgotten? Sins of a life she could not remember where she had failed those who had depended on her? A melodramatic attempt if so. She was only feline. She didn't have the power to heal everyone. Lightningstorm was aware of this. As long as she did her best, however... she would have no regrets.

Yet that knowledge... that certainty. It did nothing to take away this doubt and regret. Negative emotions that surpassed any knowledge she had of events long gone now. Feelings that dampen the overwhelming curiosity that simmers at his offer. At his admission. At the slip that the stars had taken something from her? But what? She couldn't remember. An oddity, as while she could not remember cats, faces... names... she could remember all else. Had they taken someone from her? That seemed to go at odds with what she knew of StarClan. Yes. They were absent. Uncaring. But not the type to plot against the clan. Where they?

The black and white giant finally introduced himself, and a slip of emotion cracked through her once again carefully placed mask. Eyes narrowing lightly at the pitch in his voice as he spoke his name. Unnatural in his tongue. He was lying for some reason. This starless cat from her dreams. But why? What purpose could he have to lie to her about his name? Or was she merely lying to herself? Her memories conspiring against her? No. That was ridiculous. A paranoid thought she refused to entertain any further as she smirked. Cheeky and confident before this Cowmoon.

"Is that right?" the calico mewed again, lapis hues intently upon the dream's heterochromatic hues. "Can't say it sounds familiar, love. 'Fraid it's all been lost for now. 'Pologies for tha'. Although... You say you have answers? That you knew me? I wouldn't mind having some information. Never been one to scoff away at knowledge, no matter how small."

Her gaze grows a bit softer at this, even as she studies the long furred warrior before her. Can she trust him? He'd already lied. She could feel it. Somewhere in her gut. How could she know he wouldn't lie again? What if she failed to catch him in the act? Something had felt off this entire conversation. His hiding of something or other... It almost makes her want to ask what that something is. But it's not the right time. She risks pushing him away, and regardless of the dishonesty of his name... what's a little white lie between memories?

"You say StarClan took something from me. I know you don't know the specifics, but that means you know something about it, dunnit? What do you know? Where did you hear this? Is this something I knew before and you are just reminding me? Or is it something I've yet to hear of before your visit?"

Lightningstorm's heart beats faster as she speaks, partly because none of this makes sense... and partly because for it to make sense the circumstances surrounding this visit would change to something much more... incoherent. Unsafe. For if this was new information, then this was no mere trip down memory lane. This was a visitor. Someone from the afterlife come to inform her of things she needed to know. A cat without stars who no longer walked among the living. And that thought terrified her more than cared to admit, words long gone echoing terrifyingly in the back of her head.

The Dark Forest awaits...



@wolfie [Cowtuft]
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  #7  
Old September 22nd, 2024, 10:49 PM
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wolfie wolfie is offline
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Default Re: a mutt that weeps after it kills is still a disobedient dog [ p ]



✧˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ [ COWTUFT ‼ ] ˚。⋆ ༘˚✧
┆彡 THE MARTYR
| DARK FOREST RESIDENT | 28 MOONS (AT DEATH) ✮✮✮
✩。°°。✩ he . . him ➔ massive white tom with black splotches and floppy ears. scars cover his neck. x-marks on his shoulders and his left hindleg is covered in burn scars
╭₊˚purrks﹕monkey's paw, the collector, herb knowledge, kitty softpaws ₊˚੭
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
⌦ .。.:* ✮ @Alchemist Kitsune || figure after lightning asks a cppl of questions and cow answers flickerlight is gonna interrupt the dream 'n the rp can wrap up ! cooow can try an attempt 2 if u would like for anymore memory context also! goin' with nineteen moons since this takes place in june
Cowtuft blinked wildly at Lightningstorm's language, oh. Oh stars, he hadn't realized how much he had missed such a familiar statement. He lets out a light chuckle, albeit forced as he tries to reel back his emotions. Selfishly, he wished - he wished she never remembered him. Perhaps, perhaps he could visit her then. Pretend things were as they used to be. As if he didn't destroy everything, didn't destroy what they worked for. Didn't destroy her trust.

"Well... golly! Will just have to hold my snout then,,, I will .. keep that all in mind.. thank you.. truly!" He replied after a beat, he did not speak how not many things, if any, grew in the Dark Forest. It was barren, reminding him of lands after a fire. It was nice to play pretend.

The fluffy cat could swear Lightningstorm was studying him. Perhaps he was paranoid, but it seemed her eyes bore into him. Like an answer she couldn't quite place. Her eyes narrow briefly, and he wonder if she could tell if he was lying, even if she did not remember him. Déjà vu. Then she smirks, something Cowtuft always recognized as a either a checkmate or a disguise. He does not know which, but he hopes he is simply getting too far in his head.

"A.. ah.. no worries, I did.. assume so. Also, indeed.. uhm.. there is, a lot, I suppose. You - you are ,, nineteen moons,, if you weren't aware.. You have a.. mate, Firestorm,, your mother .. was Gingerheart, " He starts to reel over things to pinpoint, simple but to offer up a sense of identity. A sense of story. "Leechscar trained you for a moon,,, or so? An .. awful, awful sickness hit WindClan ... and you assisted throughout it.. As a result you, were aa.. picked as your medicine cat's apprentice, " it is strange to speak of things imbedded in his soul from a bystander's view.

Mismatched irises drifted to the feather near her tail. She still kept it all these times. "Featherfoot - gave that to you, " Cowtuft nodded towards it with his head, pausing for a moment. Should he tell her? He could not protect her to an extent he displayed a falsehood of her life. That was not why he was here. He only left out the worse one.

".. It - it was after she had passed, actually. I.. I don't.. know all the specifics, I confess.. but you had been the last ..to see her before she joined the stars. It, it left you with .. immense guilt. I believe .. she sent it to you.. to remind you it had never.. never been your fault, despite what you had thought, " He speaks gently, eyes swirling with a deep sadness.

Floppy ears perk up, and he shakes his head slightly back and forth. "I am.. deeply afraid to say .. I truly do not,, I only c- caught wind of it by glimpsing into the living — catching brief bits of a conversation.. and realized your memories had been .. taken. I do not understand ...the stars, and unfortunately I do not believe... some of their actions can... truly be explained, " The tom answered honestly, he assumed StarClan was behind this for weren't they always?

At least the Dark Forest's motives were obvious.

His form flickers in and out once more, a startled look appearing. Cowtuft stands abruptly, "I - I believe, you sh - hould ask your questions now, hun - There - there is not, enough t, time,, " He urges on hastily, he did not know how long the connection could stand.
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Old October 23rd, 2024, 09:33 PM
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Alchemist Kitsune Alchemist Kitsune is offline
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| Lightningstorm |
20 Moons - WindClan Medicine Cat
Flock Together [Tier 3] - Active | Mind Reader - Active | Dreamwalker - Inactive | Katty Krueger - Inactive



The calico blinks, dumbfounded by the amount of information she was receiving. No. Not the amount. Simply... the information. Her age had been a mystery to her, but not one she had been particularly fussed over. It mattered little to her, at least until she heard how young she was. Nineteen seemed... like perhaps she shouldn't be the head medicine cat. Like perhaps she should be working with someone more knowledgeable. With whoever had trained her. Someone closer to Twilightstar in age.

Perhaps he - he... yes, that seemed... familiar somehow - had moved on. Passed away? Maybe he had been older than the leader. Or perhaps illness or injury had gotten to him before his time? Whatever the case, she couldn't help but wonder why he had not contacted her, her brain instantly storming with darker thoughts. With musings of exiles or crimes committed to have rendered him incapable of contacting her from the stars. And yet these thoughts paled in comparison to the information Cowmoon shared next. Because at least one of those names was familiar... and the other coaxed a tumultuous ache in her heart.

"Fire... storm..."

The queen with the kits who called claimed she was their mother. A confusing matter, but one she had always found amusing. The queen she had first opened her eyes to, dazed and scared, surrounded by cats she did not recognize. Covered in more blood than seemed possible to survive. Newborn kits that looked like the pale tabby... and her. But it was impossible. And even if it wasn't... why hadn't the molly said something. Anything? All this time... she thought she'd had no family... and yet...

They must not be together. Not anymore. It made sense. The kits couldn't be hers. That was simply not possible. Them no longer being a family... that must be why she never mentioned it. And yet she never seemed bothered by her presence. Had something happened to cause a rift between them? Her amnesia not withstanding? A curious matter, but not one she could fully concentrate on. Not as her head started hurting. As a voice in the back of her mind started screeching. As she felt that familiar pang of hatred and paranoia that seemed to try and claw its way out whenever she tried to muse over memories now lost.

And yet she bore it, because it was too much... but she needed to know. How could she forsake knowledge when it was being offered so openly? When for the first time since she had awakened so strangely in the nursery, surrounded by anger and death, she could get a semblance of who she was... of what had happened. Of why it had come to pass? Ignoring the roaring of blood flashing lights before her eyes as best she could, Lightningstorm turned to her visitor, a look of gratitude on her features.

She had been trained by the leader's son. Had felt... guilty about the death of a warrior. The death of this Featherfoot. It must have been quite the guilt to carry, for even now without recollection on the incident she could still feel her heart pounding wildly within her chest, the feeling of it alone threatening to consume her. Breaking eye contact with her visitor - or her dream - she turned lapis hues upon the feather at the base of her tail, understanding shimmering in them.

Lightningstorm had been reluctant to remove the feather. Unwilling for some reason she could never quite make out. It had held no real significance to her, making the whole ordeal ludicrous. Until now. It was... a sign of forgiveness. Of understanding that perhaps she was not to blame for deed that had caused this Featherfoot's death. It explained why the feather had been so odd. So... cat like in nature. Unnatural even. It had been a gift from the stars.

It was odd. The cacophony of emotions that stormed within her, raging inside without any semblance of order or reason. The gratitude of having gleaned some knowledge... of having known she had at one point had a family. No longer with her... Was. That was what Cowmoon had said. Other than Firestorm, it was quite likely her family was all gone. Whether left the clan or joined Silverpelt was beyond her, but a part of her seemed almost reluctant to know.

More questions. That was what the patched tom offered her. The chance to gain even more answers. Turning to him, her expression distant as she tried to piece together the puzzle that had once been her life, tried to see what was missing... she faltered. She wasn't sure what was going on... but something was wrong. A movement? A shadow? What had he said? That there wasn't enough time? No... Not again... Again? But it was too late. She wouldn't be able to stop it. Could only warn in vain.

"Tufty!" Lightningstorm cried before the world turned dark.



@wolfie [Cowtuft]
| Sorry this took so long! Lightningstorm personal roleplays took a massive hit last month and with the event they were completely sidelined for a bit. I remember the promise of having a little surprise for Cowtuft in my last post for this, though! Feel free to end it with your next one like planned. |
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