Moonfall Lake

[BEAR.]

Maybe splashing water worked on her as intended, or maybe not. Hawkstar watched her but couldn't read her expression well enough to know. He did hope it left an impression - such conflict was rarely fueled by the work of a single unit. A combination of mistakes, deliberate acts, time and a lack of accountability kindled the flames long before her own transgressions. She played a part, may have tipped the wave over the edge, but it'd been building in advance.

Hawkstar wasn't here to chastise her. Not only had she heard it plenty times before, but he recognized faults and the desire to change and grow from them. Her past did not need to be her future.. and if he could sway it into something brighter, that meant more than hollow, echoed words. His gaze scanned the scar along her shoulder and leg, muzzle twitching. "If it benefited her, she may have. The wounds our Clan have left her run deep. But Twilightstar holds an air of sense about her.. and revenge leaves no one victorious."

A sigh. "There are few in this world whom have such capabilities.. and some mask it better than others. In my case, I was merely a fool." If he had acted, if he hadn't been so passive... but all it was now was ifs. "Any authority you hold within a Clan should not be easy. Every choice you make, every word you say, has an impact on those under your care. You should always act with their best interest at heart, and do your best to consider your choices before implementing them. Your decision.. can make or break your Clan." Even the best choice at the time may not be the right one, but the point of his words was to think before she acted. Put some consideration into it, and understand that this was larger than what she might initially see.

"There's always going to be controversies.. think of your previous leaderships. How many times did you agree with what they were doing? How many times were they questioned, rebelled against? How you handle these disagreements is more telling than the fact they are occurring. You can argue back, you can banish them. You can hear them out and acknowledge their concerns.. or you can ignore it and allow it to fester like a wound within the Clan." A reflection, as he thought of his own era. "I sought to be pacifistic. In a world where our Clan had been in an unending war, of course cats disagreed with me. Had I not been so stubborn in wanting to resolve an age-old feud peacefully, maybe I would have seen they were right. I don't like violence, Dusklion.. but sometimes, it becomes a necessary evil to defend your home." Like those kits, even if the act seemed morally reprehensible. "But because they may have been right for me, that does not mean the same for you. Consider their perspective, and grow from there."

[ @taillow ]

[taillow]

Dusklion - RiverClan Deputy

That was true, and the deputy had seen it first-hand in the battle. Twilightstar's eyes, while clouded with hatred and vitriol, had not been the eyes of a cat who would murder. That alone had been enough to snap something within Dusklion, a sense of understanding that even though it had been her claws responsible for the death of her deputy, the leader didn't want her dead. It would be a comforting thought if the paranoia of it all left her - but it lingered like cobwebs in the corners of her mind. She hadn't quite yet figured out how to shake them entirely.

As the topic shifted to what it had been like to be a leader during his time, Dusklion's full attention shifted to the cat before her. Eyes wide as the full moons on gatherings she peered forward, hanging onto every word. "A... fool?" It was more so spoken quietly under her breath, though not so that Hawkstar couldn't hear it. The deputy blinked as she continued to listen. So it was universal then, that it wasn't easy. Pulling her ears back the dark tabby glanced at her paws briefly, slowly unsheathing her claws in the water, then pulling them back again and looking back up at the former RiverClan leader.

Thinking back to the previous leaderships drew a soft, unintentional snarl from Dusklion. She'd joined under Snowleap's leadership, and while there were some parts that had been... okay, what stood out to her was the pack of dogs that had ravaged their camp at the end - and the death of the shield O/tterfluff who had come back to help them only to die. "I'd handle 'em better than a coward," she muttered quietly in between his words. Looking more attentively back at Hawkstar, she blinked. Pacifistic? That was... unexpected. How could any leader truly be like that - it would mean the Clan would get walked over! But she didn't dare say this outloud, and instead swallowed the opinion down with any other words that might've come out.

"I feel like all I've ever known since comin' into RiverClan is tension. Started with the dogs 'n when Snowleap stepped down, leavin' Beansprout to step up. That's when our issues started with ThunderClan - or, 'm told they started earlier than that too..." Stories of a raid on ThunderClan's camp, the death of Lions 'n former medicine cat Fawnsqueak had sparked it. So much history that sometimes thinking about it all made the anger swell within her at ThunderClan. It was difficult in those moments to remind herself to let it go.

"Can't remember a time where the other Clans weren't at our throats, 'n us theirs. 'Cept maybe now, 'cause they drove us out of our home." Any fight in her words died in her throat as her tone got quieter, ears drawing back again. "...I haven't told anyone this, but... I want revenge. I do. I want... I want 'em all to pay for what they did to us - for drivin' us out. For what... what those shadow rats did to Cobs? To Berries?? The kids that were tortured 'n murdered - that snake of a traitor Minkpaw 'r whatever her name is now - how she - she killed a barely outta the nursery 'paw?!" Eyes ablaze now, the deputy had to pause to reel in her seething anger. It was the first time she had let it out really, so scared of what RiverClan might think if they saw the true desires in her heart - especially so soon after the truth of her involvement in Fallownose's death. They would certainly blame her again for wanting revenge... she couldn't drag them into another war like the one that had cost them their home...

"...But I know that anger... is what got us into this mess in the first place. My brother - he wants revenge just as much as he wants air to breathe. 'N... 'n I do to - but when I looked into Twilightstar's eyes..." Looking at Hawkstar now, almost as if she were praying he... might understand, "...when she spared my life... I got it. I knew why this was happening, 'n that even though we've been doin' what we can, it wasn't enough 'n never... never would be..." Looking to the side, Dusklion heaved a sigh. "I wanna do what's best for RiverClan - always have, 'n always will. But... how will I be able to tell the difference between what I think is best for 'em, 'n what actually is best for 'em?"

[ @BEAR. ]