ShadowClan Apprentices' Den

[Rowan]

♧SpiderPaw♧
Male | 12 Moons | ShadowClan Apprentice | Mentor: Bristle’Thorn | Posts: 44/100
sleek, small black tom with sapphire eyes and long scar on his side
Purrks: Flock Together T2 [ACTIVE]
Interaction For: Open!


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Well…here he is, 12 moons and still some ways to go until his own warriors ceremony. He didn’t have anything against cats that become warriors beyond 12 moons but…he had to prove himself! And he couldn’t fall behind, no matter what! He would just have to rush himself. He’d have to train every waking hour. That was his only solution to keep up. He had to do this!

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[Alchemist Kitsune]

| Silverlark |
20 Moons - StarClan Warrior
Shadow Fiend - Inactive | Just a Scratch - Inactive | Beefed Up [Tier 3] - Inactive | Spirit Encounter [1] - Inactive

---

In all earnest, Silverlark was a cat on a mission. The mission? Find his Flashies. Make sure she was alright! Because! Look. He knew his Auntie Larky would like... never not look out for her, but he knew, yeah? How shy his former apprentice was when it came to meeting new cats. She had been doing so much better, oh yes. But the tom still worried. Couldn't help it. She had been his responsibility, and he was a good mentor. A proper mentor. Even if he was maybe technically dead now. Just a minor inconvenience, hmph, hmph!

Imagine his surprise, then! When he encountered - gasp - Darkydark! And Rainy. Oh... but Rains? She wasn't looking too good. Nope. Not at all. Especially considering there was two of em. Wait no... two?!

Rounded ears perked up as his brain slowly begun working, putting two and two - no time for puns now, Silvs - together. Rainpaw was dead, wasn't she? And if she wasn't? Well... she 'bout to be. Oh. Oh no. Auntie Larky was going to be crushed! Darkydark was crushed, too! He could hear him, begging Rains to wake up. Just like Auntie Larky had done for him. But... it didn't work that way. The former enforcer knew. You couldn't just wake up once the stars took you.

Gaze turning momentarily serious, the youthful looking tom took a step forward, the stars shimmering in his pelt as he remained firmly within the confines of the spirit realm. He had been with someone on his time of departure. True, it had been a living cat, but she had seen him. Maybe it was 'cause she was blind now? Like, she could see spirits now because of it? Oh, she should ask her! Um... you know. Some other time. Because now? Now he was going to pay it forward. If Rain couldn't talk to her dad, then he'd be there for her. She might not be his apprentice, but ShadowClanners? They stick together, yo.

"Hey Rainy! 'member me? Silverlark! Used to be an enforcer, yo. How yous holdin' up?"

Alright. Maybe not the most eloquent. But like... he'd never been truly gifted with words, right? And it's not like if he could ask her if she was okay. That bird had flown the nest by now. Best he could do was provide some moral support. Maybe try and communicate with her pops if she wanted him to. He was pretty sure he still had the strength to do that, mmmhmmm. Just, whatever it was... have her know there was a friendly face to turn to once she was ready to make the trip to the stars.

---

@SuspiciousMindz [Rainpaw]
| Available to communicate only with StarClan/Dark Forest cats at the moment. Can have him Spirit Encounter if Rainpaw wants him to, though. |

[FadingWhispers]

Wildpaw sat down and started licking her paw.
(OPEN)

[SuspiciousMindz]

[Rainpaw]
ShadowClan Apprentice
No Purrks

Her gaze would move back and forth from her figure on the ground with her dad and the bright light from the outside of the den. Rainpaw felt herself starting to tear up. Why hadn't she woken up yet? Why was the outside so bright? Am I... dying? It was a haunting thought, but something she was slowly accepting. It wasn't like she was fit for this world anyway. She was slower, couldn't keep up with normal cats, couldn't do normal cat things without fainting. She hated it here.

On the other paw, leaving her father like this was terrible. She should give him some comfort and come back later? Maybe she can go in her sleep instead?! She didn't know what the right answer was, but something about her not waking up was answering that for her.

All these thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice. Slowly, her head turned to look at Silverlark. He seemed to appear from the bright entrance of the den. Her heartrate shot up. Physically and in this realm. "Wha- How. How are you here?!" Rainpaw spoke softly, astonished. "I'm.. I'm dying aren't I? You- You're dead so I mean... I'm..." She took a sharp inhale and let a tear slide down her cheek. "I'm dying?"

Physically, Darkfall's attempts of resuscitating had worked. It was a momentary fix, though, as her physical body reacted the way her spiritual one did. Her heart rate and breathing rose, even in her sleep. Her heart threw some arrythmias, making her body dwindle into an even weaker state.

Slowly, Rainpaw's body would give.
Slowly, Rainpaw was losing touch with this world.

Her heart simply couldn't handle the tax anymore.

@Alchemist Kitsune - Silverlark | @Dark - Darkfall | @elio - Mossfreckle | @redshiftreign - Grousepaw | @Rose - Lostspark
[Lost/Moss/Grouse mention at any time to call her deceased/to let her go]

| RAINPAW'S SPIRIT CANNOT BE INTERACTED WITH DIRECTLY EXCEPT FOR SILVERLARK |

[Alchemist Kitsune]

| Silverlark |
20 Moons - StarClan Warrior
Shadow Fiend - Inactive | Just a Scratch - Inactive | Beefed Up [Tier 3] - Inactive | Spirit Encounter [1] - Inactive

---

Tears. Oh. Silverlark hated those. And he knew there would be more to come. Once her family realized what was going on. The tom's ears flattened on his head, his youthful features sporting a grim expression for once as he sat down heavily besides the apprentice, remaining quiet for a moment as he stared at Darkydark sobbing over his daughter's faltering body. This was... rough. His own demise had been quiet. Lonely. Until Auntie Larky had shown up. Had begged him to get up.

"Yeah..." he finally mewed, tone neutral as he nodded.

Offering a friendly paw, the former enforcer attempted to wrap his forelimb around the molly's shoulder, hoping to grant some comfort. There wasn't really a lot to say here. Silverlark had been sad when he'd left too, but he had been happy that he had at least got to say goodbye. That there were voices calling him to his new home. Voices from long ago of cherished ones that had left this earth before he had. Considering how much the former medicine cat had lost, how many kits had gone... perhaps Rainpaw would find some loved ones up in StarClan as well? One could only hope.

"Is not bad, yous know? There's lots of old friends and family that you can sees again, yeah? And yous know? Everyone goes someday. 'Cept Dawnstars and Whisk. Those two older than the forest, yo. But when they cross over here, we can come back and get 'em. Welcome them to their new home. Have everyone happy and together again. We really just separated for a little while, mmmhmmm."

Silence followed his words as he allowed the apprentice to cry. To mourn for the life she couldn't live to her fullest. Although maybe that was for the best. Silverlark had not know real happiness since he was a tiny kit, a happiness that he now knew existed in the stars. But... he wouldn't judge her for missing them already. For wanting to be alive. For wanting to finish her training and make a name for herself in the clan. Instead he would stay there. Let her come to terms before it was time to depart.

---

@SuspiciousMindz [Rainpaw]

[SuspiciousMindz]

[Rainpaw]
ShadowClan Apprentice
No Purrks

Rainpaw would inhale deeply, trying to compose herself as Silverlark did his best to comfort her. Of course, she didn't want to leave. Of course, she still wanted to earn her warrior name. Of course.... well, the list could go on and on. Instead, Rainpaw silenced the thoughts and leaned into Silverlark's warmth.

Warmth. Something she could feel right now. It was welcoming and her eyes closed briefly to accept the feeling. "Okay." Rainpaw would eventually breathe, opening her eyes to see the rise and fall of her physical chest come to a halt. It didn't hurt. In fact, things were starting to come at her in waves: warmth, bliss, and security. Things she'd been craving for a long time, but no one welcomed her in the way Silverlark had. In the way that death was welcoming her.

"I'm sorry, mom, dad... my siblings, grandma..." Rainpaw whispered, her eyes studying Darkfall for a moment more before she'd turn to face Silverlark. "Okay, I'm ready. I don't want to linger here anymore..." Rainpaw chirped, trying to sound cheery in the solemn moment.

Then, the apprentice rise to her paws, turning and heading towards the welcoming light from the dens entrance. She hoped Silverlark was in tow, she didn't want to cross alone.

She'd already spent most of her time here alone...

@Dark | @Alchemist Kitsune

[Rose]

She/Her | Purrks Overlook

It was the scent that drew her here. She knew that smell to a certain extent - and she dreaded it as well. She didn't expect for it to be so soon, to someone she knew. Someone of her own blood, someone she loved, again. Someone...

No. White-tipped paws froze by the entrance, heart drowning with sorrow, at the sight she was met with. It'd happened. Again. Her kittens, her loves. Slowly being picked off, one by one. Her gaze drifted to the tall black tabby that sat beside their daughter, so, so still. Lostspark knew right then and there, that in this scenario, she had to put on the brave face.

She had to be the strong one, for both of them.

The lithe grey Enforcer sealed her heart away, emotions locking behind a wall. She shut herself down as her paws carried her forward, faltering briefly as she stopped to press her muzzle against Darkfall's shoulder, silently sharing in his grief. Trying to make him understand.

Trying to make him see what she already had.

"She's gone." The words were soft, the hurt and sadness that coated her tone fresh as it slipped free from the tight hold she had over her feelings. Building and building and building, a dam that was never allowed to burst until it was too much to keep in.

Lostspark kept herself there, her forehead pressed against her former mate's shoulder, a ragged exhale leaving her lips. Cursed from the start. Doomed lovers. She pulled away finally, to take on the tedious task of removing their daughter's body, letting Dawnstar known, and then praying to the skies forevermore afterward that her and Darkfall's other children would not be next.

[ @Dark - Darkfall / @SuspiciousMindz - Rainpaw ]

[Blaaze]

◇ Flashpaw
◇ The Lost Melody ◇
Purrks: The Collector
____________________

"I'd die for you, that's easy to say, we have a list of people that we would take
A bullet for them, a bullet for you
A bullet for everybody in this room"

A thoughtful silence had overcome the apprentices den today. Few cats had entered since the night, when The Lost Melody had taken the liberty of being alone in camp, watching the stars for the particular star she would seek to no prevail. There had been no sign of a flash, or a shooting star. Only... silence. Nothing. Had she already bee forgotten? Was she that easy to ignore? That easy to pretend she didn't exist? Apparently so, or else the star she longed for would give a sign. She was left down below with cats that told her just forget, just move on already. As though it were that easy to just.. pretend he hadn't left her. Pretend he hadn't ever existed. It wasn't quite that easy. Or simple, really, as cats came and went but none had ever hit her quite like her former Mentor's. He had said he would train her. Flashpaw had treated that like an unspoken promise that he wouldn't ever make her need a new mentor ever again. But here she was. Ha, see how that went along.

"But I don't seem to see many bullets coming through
See many bullets coming through
Metaphorically, I'm the man
But literally, I don't know what I'd do"

What an odd cat she was.. 12 moons and what? An adult, still moping over her fallen idol? Some adult she had become. Crushed and shattered on the inside forced to pretend everything was okay but it wasn't and nothing was okay and the world was broken and horrible. Breathe, calm down. But she couldn't. What had she done to deserve this? What had she done to deserve this damnation? What. Had. She. Done? Why wasn't she good enough, strong enough, why was death the only answer? She had done it before with Starrypelt she would do it again in the future. Rookfire wanted her to kill, wanted her to be bad and spill blood and break bones. But.. Flashpaw didn't want to do that. She didn't want to kill. She wanted to be a good girl. Was killing what would make her a good girl? Was slaughtering for her clan what made her such a good happy girl?

Girl.
G i r l.
That was it.
A girl.

" 'I'd live for you' and that's hard to do
Even harder to say, when you know it's not true"

A term that felt so right and so familiar but so wrong all at once. Girl, girl, girl. She liked.. girls. But that meant she shouldn't be one right? No, plenty of girls liked girls it was normal. Pretty much. But.. girl was such a term unfamiliar to her. Something she had been her whole life. But something else had her attention too. A girl but. Not.. a girl. It was all very confusing but she had lately been familiarizing herself with the term of Demigirl. Something she had grown accustomed to lately.. something that felt right in this world of oddities and struggles. She could be a she.. and a they too? It sounded so right. She they, she they, she they. Both her. Both true. Could she? Certainly The Lost Melody could find her way back.. find her way to comfort. Not be so lost. It was possible-- right?

"Even harder to write, when you know that's a lie
There were people back home who tried talking to you
But then you ignore them still"

________________
Open!