There Comes A Time Where A Rabbit Wants to Leave the Warren [P]

[Dolomedes]

Rabbitpaw
He/him | WC Apprentice Tunneler | Moons: 9 | Purrks: Dreamwalker | Part Manx cat

It had happened so fast, one moment it was so happy. Rabbitpaw was excited that Miss Lightningstorm saw something in him. Something worth enough for him to be potentially chosen as her apprentice. But then just a moment later, he had been so happy and, admittedly sleepy, with his family he hadn’t even thought of the offer. Just happy to spend time with his family. As much as it was much smaller than it should’ve been. But then it was horror and distress and terror and grief and misery. And his time to think about the offer was swept away just like his mom was. She was gone. It was so fast he hadn’t even fully believed it and honestly it all still feels like a bad nightmare. But Quailheart, Rabbitpaw’s mom, was gone. Leaving his last remaining family to be Vixenpaw. Why was it always his family. He knew… there hasn’t even been a burial yet.

It’s the next day now, Rabbitpaw is laying on his nest while thinking. Normally he would’ve long been up and doing something but he was so tired. His mind hasn’t caught up all the way and thinking of his mom was more numb than agony. He knew that it would soon. But time was a cruel beast. It didn’t wait. Not for his mom, and it wouldn’t for him. She wouldn’t want him to lay around a moss opportunities because of her. He knew that. So he needed to get up and get going. He would need to talk to Crowtooth. He had wanted to talk to Crowtooth and mom. He sighed. Then finally forced himself up onto his paws. He looked down at them for a long awhile, trying to find some sort of motivation. Anything. He just needed to do this, life goes on, he would have more time to grieve. He would have as many moons as he needed but he couldn’t let it ruin him. If he goes back to sleep he doesn’t think he would wake back up. Not until too long has past and what was of Rabbitpaw was long gone.

Green eyes, tired, and red with previously shed tears and tears stinging even now at the corners despite how many he has already cried, moved towards the apprentices den entry. Slowly, the blonde made his way from the den and out into the clearing properly for the first time since his mom’s loss. He hasn’t moved much at all. It was so unlike him, would mom even recognize him? And it’s only been a day. Rabbitpaw blinked and took in a breath. It was later in the morning. People were going about their day, unaware of the tragedy that has once more hit his family. Would they ever stop? All of his siblings, his aunts, his cousins, only one brother and a father figure remained in his life. Would they be taken from him as well? A small voice whispered. He didn’t listen and began to pad over to the Warriors den.

“C-Crowtooth, I need to talk to you.” His voice was small and it was rough from the tears and from the lack of use. He hadn’t spoken much. Rabbitpaw waited for him to come to Rabbitpaw and then noiselessly the apprentice motioned towards the camp exit and then began to pad towards it, assuming that his mentor would follow. Hopefully, he would, wouldn’t he? He understood that Rabbitpaw needed to talk and knew that it had to do with his mom, and it did, in a way. That was part of this, his decision. The tom continued out of camp, checking to see if his mentor was following still very so often. He kept walking silently until they made it to the starry meadow. “Crowtooth… have I ever told you about my family?”

That wasn’t necessarily what he wanted to start this conversation with, he didn’t want to get into his family at this time not when the most recent loss was so fresh but it was as though his mind and tongue had two different consciousnesses in the moment. Well…Crowtooth said that he would listen if he ever needed. On Rabbitpaw’s territory tour, that was so long ago except it wasn’t at the same time. So much has happened since then. “It… Quailheart, she adopted me when I was only 2 moons old. I’m not clan born, but that didn’t make her any less my mom. And so, her kids were my siblings just as well as they would’ve been if she had all of us in a litter. But….” He stopped in front of the place where he had learned that his siblings were now, some of them at least. “Misery seems to love our family, Crowtooth. I had so many siblings… I believe at least eight. And now, only Vixenpaw remains. My mom, my grandparents…. Some of my family, most of my family was gone before I was even in the picture. Sometimes I think it’s a curse, why else would so many fall? It’s gotten so bad that I wonder when I will have to bury you and Vixenpaw at times or if either of you will have to bury me. I had aunts as well, cousins, but they left Windclan.”

Rabbitpaw trailed off, waiting, for what he wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to just talk at his mentor. Bring him here to just be depressed but Rabbitpaw was selfish. People don’t seem to think that, but he is. And he always will be. That’s how people are. No matter how selfless you are, there will be moments when your greed wins. And right now, forcing all of this on his mentor, was Rabbitpaw’s greed. His want to be comforted as though he was a kit. Like he was watching Fallownose’s body be dragged in again and Crowtooth was reassuring and holding him. He would say that was the beginning of it all, the borderline downward spiral that Rabbitpaw has found himself in but it wasn’t. It started with his being abandoned. Windclan was his everything. He would do anything for his clan, he loved it. But life of a clan cat is one that’s not kind. He learned quick, and he learned fast this lesson from before he was even made officially an apprentice.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to throw all of that on you. I’m just so scared sometimes. Vixenpaw, he’s so happy, I don’t want to see him sad or…gone. And you Crowtooth!” Rabbitpaw turned with a slight bit of desperation in his voice as his green eyes landed on his mentor, “You- I- You’re like my dad! You are… but that means you can fall to, to this…unfairness!! And… I feel like I’m failing you… I think… my path is changing, I don’t think I am going to be a tunneler anymore. I’m so sorry, I don’t want to disappoint you! But I- I’m sorry. I love you, you mean so much to me.. I’m sorry.” He hung his head and allowed his tears to fall to the grass beneath his paws. He couldn’t bare to continue staring at Crowtooth, to see his face change from concern to confusion or disappointment. Anger or hate.

[ @Rani - Crowtooth ]
[ uhhh this wasn’t supposed to be this long but uhhh yeah! Sorry it’s a bit of a lot! Hope you don’t mind! If there’s anything you want changed just let me know! ]


Rabbitpaw gif made by ramen!

[Rani]

Crowtooth
Windclan Tunneler/Fury | He/him | 50 Moons

Power Card: Cold Gust

..... Was it him? At some point one had to consider if it was him. Wolffang, Quailheart, and now Bravebird. Two perhaps he could not be blames for as kitting was inherently fraught and Wolffangs death stunk of the dark forest which was the real blame for his loss but Quailheart?


The tom sat, gaze distant as he looked out of camp at the moor, horribly doubting that Leechscars patrol (stars who had he brought besides Silverrose, Crowtooth was so rattled after bolting back into camp, two traumatized apprentices in tow to recall) would even be able to bring back her body. They'd kill the owl, this the tunneler did not doubt even with its size and lethality, but Quailheart had just been taken. Would it be better and worse for her orphaned children that there was no body or one torn apart by a raptor that saw their mother as little more then prey.


Crowtooth was drowning in grief and guilt and could do little about either emotions, forced stoic by duty and that same guilt that demanded he had no right to break.




Lost in his head and heart Crowtooth jolted in shock hearing Rabbitpaw speaking nearby. His apprentice, his little bright kiddo was just so... Broken and lost and once again the senior warriors heart broke, already present fractures widening as he gently tucked the scrap close. He'd follow Rabbitpaw, of course anywhere and listen to whatever he needed to say even if it was nothing but venom and hate for the loss of his mother, something Crowtooth shouldve prevented and the toms heart ached at the idea even as he softly rasped "Say whatever ya need kiddo."


What came next was... Unexpected. Crowtooth didnt know this tale, hadnt asked (viewing backgrounds irrelevant compared to ones present) but what was there broke his heart. For most of the warriors lonely life he'd had the view that it was better to have never loved at all rather then lost and it was only recently he'd made the change to try (a change that had come with pain, perhaps reinforcing that point) but Rabbitpaw....

For a long moment the warrior was silent, lost for what to say in all that and Rabbitpaw continued talking overwhelmed.


Which quickly overwhelmed Crowtooth because, what do you mean not be a tunneler anymore?! Did Rabbitpaw not want to be his apprentice anyone, had Crowtooth failed him somehow, of course he had Rabbitpaws mother was dead when he, a fury shouldve been able to save her! It hurt it hurt it hurt and the tom didnt understand but he wasnt important, Crowtooth had always held his pain wasnt important so roiling thoughts were ruthlessly crushed to tend to the younger cat.


"Hey, nonono kiddo ya aint in trouble Im not upset-" lie, his heart felt like it was shattering "yer not failin' me. Just take a deep breath fer me will ya. Big an' slow, match mine ya can do it." The tunneler needed it as much as his apprentice, speech more broken and raspy then normal and he guided Rabbitpaw through the breathing exercises he'd been using since he was young until both were calm as possible given the situation.



"Ok kiddo, Rabbitpaw, now lets look at me. First o' all Im so sorry yer goin' through this. Yer losses are one o' the hardest thin's any cat can experience an' I said it before but Im sorry I couldnt do more. Second I understand the fear o' loosin' others, Ive lost a couple o' really important cats to me too an' even if I tend ta not outwardly show it an' the fear of loosin' others aint strange. I love ya a lot kiddo an' I can promise I worry about ya gettin' hurt all the damn time. But I aint gonna leave ya kiddo, not any time soon I promise. Yer not loosin' me.



I love ya an' ya mean a ton ta me an' I get the fear though can ya.... Elaborate? Im not sure how this worry leads ta ya not bein' a tunneler Ill say." Ok Crowtooth do not scare the kid off just explain things rationally and non harmfully... Even if it wasnt his strong suit. "If ya wanna be a fury or somethin' ta better protect cats ya can still be a tunneler, ya know that. Im a tunneler/warrior/fury technically, ya can still protect cats an' do what ya love so Im just kinda.... lost here kiddo."


Regardless of how this went Rabbitpaw was not escaping being tucked between two large paws unless he actually wanted to escape (not think he should escape either, actually want it) for the conversation, Crowtooths broad chest providing a large barrier from the world for the smaller tom.


@Dolomedes