stars among dusk. [ private - solo roleplay collection! ]

[taillow]

DUSKLION
she/her | riverclan deputy | 29 moons

Exhaustion.

The Clan had been traveling for several days straight at this point, and the mountains were coming up in the distance. From where Dusklion sat atop one of the pointed rocked, nearly invisible underneath the dark night sky, her blue eyes gazed out towards it. Surely it wouldn't take that much longer to reach them, or at the very least set up camp at the base of them. Already they were well beyond the territory that she had come to know like the back of her paw; surely the other three Clans wouldn't follow them out here?

As her mind drifted back towards those who had driven them out, it also revisited the parting words of Twilightstar. The WindClan leader, who had ever reason and right to kill Dusklion, had instead showed mercy and spared her life. The deputy could see the hatred in her eyes, the malice and hostility that allowed seasoned claws to rip through her fur and flesh. But she had not killed her... and instead had spoken as if she had hope. Hope. In... Dusklion. Because according to Twilightstar, her brother was a lost cause.

...Was he though? Turning to look over her shoulder at the Clan sleeping below, where her brother was curled up, she mulled this over. He hadn't been as aggressive as he'd started his leadership, and she still remembered their talk where he had admitted to feeling lost. Maybe, like her, he was just trying to find her footing.

But then she recalled how dismissive he'd been when she had relayed what Twilightstar had told her. How... deadset on revenge he'd seemed. A large part of Dusk shared her brothers thoughts, because how dare the other three Clans drive them out. How dare they rampage into their home, destroy their camps, act like the very rogues they were supposedly bringing justice down upon. The resurfacing of these thoughts had her claws out and scrapping the rock she stood on.

As much as she wanted to give into that rage, something was making her stop and think. There had been so much bloodshed, and with all three Clans able to put aside their differences and unite to drive them out... had their crimes really been that bad? Any worse than what any of the other three Clans had done? Was Dusklion herself okay with the thought of their youth thrown in harms way once again for... for something as trivial as vengeance?

Imagining Cobs, laying on her side and bleeding out until she was lifeless, answered that question for her.

"How am I suppose to convince him...?" Her voice was quiet, tired, as she lifted her face to the stars that glittered above. Her brother was on a war path and expected his sister to be right there alongside him. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she just... agree with him? The battle-favoring deputy had always been the "act now, think later" type but this... this felt too big to not stop and think about. RiverClan had fallen far from the days of glory and honor, no matter how hard Dusklion had tried to deny it. They were not the Clan she had heard stories about, nor where they a Clan worth respect. Not right now, at least.

Perhaps she could convince her brother to, at the very least, hold off on any attacks when they got back. She wasn't open to making any moves for any alliances, especially not after what had happened at Smallpines with Bumblestar. But if they could focus on fixing this starsdamned Clan and get it stable again, maybe they wouldn't need allies then. If they got to work weeding out those who only caused trouble and wished to aide RiverClan's downfall, maybe all wasn't lost.

A newfound determination settled within her. Was this what Twilightstar had seen in her when the leader had spared her life? A cat willing to learn how to put aside personal anger and grievances for the betterment of her own Clan? Dusklion wasn't entirely sure, but she found that she was grateful to still be here. No longer did she wish to have death's claws come for her. No longer did she want to wallow in this self-pity pool she had crafted. Her heart would continue to hold onto the regret of killing Fallownose - but not out of fear. No, she would remember it as a guidling light, as motivation to do and be better.

Because she had to.

For RiverClan.