[Rejected] Flutterpaw

[Blaaze]

As you approach, you are unnerved by their smoldering gazes.

You know you're being judged for all your worth, but you're determined to make your case. It's not every day cats try to reincarnate, and you're tired of being trapped here. Perhaps your first life didn't go as planned.. but the next one is going to be better.

All you have to do is answer them.

"What makes you stand out from the rest of the cats who want another chance?"

|__ Flutterpaw __|
"Just to think the chance they never gave you would've
been your last."

.________.

Flutterpaw was tired. Tired of the depression that had plagued her daily. But this gave her
determination. It gave her a pride she so rarely felt. It gave her a purpose. She would come
back. She had to. For herself, for Garlicfeather, for her deceased mentor, for cats who never
bloody knew her existence. She was tired of that the most. Hello. her voice wavered
a bit on the first word. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She smiled slightly, then tried to continue.
My name is Flutterpaw. I'm nine moons old and I died in ThunderClan's raid on RiverClan.
but alas, I'm not here to talk lightly. I'm here to share my bloody case. Her voice grew
darker, eyes narrowed with unshown emotion. I died in cold blood. cruelly, brutally. I was
murdered. Murdered by a ThunderClan warrior who wanted no more than to gloat about how
he murdered an apprentice. His idiocy means nothing to me anymore. Icy emotions she
couldn't recognize surged in her throat. All of them were frustrated and angry. All of them were
sick of being quiet. I don't want to drone on about my revenge. What does revenge matter
when your murderer doesn't remember you name, your face? Only how your blood pooled in
rivulets around his paws. The moment was vividly being relived in her mind. The emotions
she'd felt in her death resurfaced brutal as ever. What does revenge matter when even your
own clanmates noticed you only when you died? And they only noticed your death, and not
your real potential? Only noticed how your seven moons, how your body was light at your
burial, how you shouldn't have died? Her hazel eyes narrowed in concentration. This part
might be a bit harsh. If she came out the wrong way, immediate rejection. But then again...
If they didn't see it and only saw my body, then would they have cared at all? Why in the
name of RiverClan would they care if a cat they didn't know died?

Hot tears desired to pool from her hazel hued eyes, but the curled-coated StarClanner didn't
dare show it. She forced them back by forcing up more depressed anger. I was never given a
chance, like so many others. All of them were like me. The only difference? They were loved.
She had to stop. Had to stop sounding selfish. It was the only way she would ever get a chance.
The only cat who ever loved me were my mentors. One of them is a Kittypet now, one of them
hardly thinks of me. I've been replaced by an apprentice so like me he probably confuses us. I
spent my life unseen and unheard, lurking in the shadows, too nervous to show my face, to show
my personality. I was too scared to fail. A forced laugh escaped her maw. It was an ugly, choking
noise, but she didn't care. But I didn't expect to be here now, dead, and a failure. I was gifted with
the fact that I could train and hunt for my clan. I took it for granted. I was useless, a pointless
creature to have around. I trained, thought about making friends, and did nothing. My life had no
purpose. So much value, and I took it for granted. I took myself for bloody granted! Her
voice had risen to a snarl. She was more snarling at herself. And here I bloody am. Selfish and
wallowing about the past. I'm sick of it. I'll serve my clan like never before. I'll value my life and every
single cat within it. I'll give them a reason to mourn me when I may die other than youth. I took so much
for granted before, and I would never, ever do it again. I was unloved because I was stupid. I took everything
I had and decided; 'I'll never lose it.' Well, here I bloody am. Dead and realizing I forgot all of the
blessings I had, all of the pride I hadn't lost, all my life to give and spend wisely. To love with. She shook
her head neutrally. What else could she say? I wasted it. I've mosied about looking sad and feeling it. I'm sick of
it. I want to show everyone who I am and who I can be. She wasn't sure if she did well. Probably not.
After all, the cats who leave the most marks are those who are the most underestimated. She mewed,
a twinge of relief at removing her load in her softer yet confident voice. And I'd be willing to say I'm quite
underestimated.

_________________________________________
| [Oh Lord accidentally put the first one in Reincarnations BUT I fixed it lmao] |

[Blaaze]

Teensy bump on this

[Blaaze]

Bump

[taillow]

Dewkit - StarClan Spirit
small, fluffy grey kit with blue eyes and a splash of white on her face.

The cat that stepped before them was one that Dewkit recognized almost immediately. Flutterpaw, killed during the raid on RiverClan's camp by a warrior who seemed to no longer reside in ThunderClan. That alone made her blood boil - a warrior taking on an apprentice with no real skills to back themselves up in a fight should it come to that. Still though she listened to the apprentice's plight as she stepped forward from the mist, face a calm and clear neutral. She spoke of the actions of this fox-heart meaning nothing, but Dewkit could tell by her voice and emotions that it still very much did. And the StarClan kit couldn't blame her.

"Why go back to a place where you felt so unloved?" Even as Flutterpaw attempted to take the responsibility of it herself, Dewkit couldn't help but speak her inquiry out loud. As far as she was concerned, it wasn't the youth's responsibility to convince their Clan to care for them, to nurture and love them. Warriors, and those older, were suppose to do that. It made her belly feel like a pit of fire. "I've heard many cats, young as you and then some, speak of how they felt as though they haven't - and I agree with you. Nine moons is barely any life. But tell me, Flutterpaw," the young kitten stepped forward, wisdom well beyond her years shimmering in her eyes, "you have so much rage. So much... anger. That vitriol can be what drives you to greatness... or causes you to succumb to the pressure of life. How can I be certain that won't happen?"

[ Flutterpaw - @blxze. ]

[Starfall]

Rowanmist
He/Him || Former RiverClan Warrior
@blxze. ; @taillow ; @/

As stars twinkled and stirred, the ginger tabby stepped out. Sadness in his eyes. Such a tiny soul, a tiny soul filled with anger and hatred. So much rage. "Revenge matters, because still after the days that have passed you're still brewing in it. Now it's condensed and you're brewing in everything that has ever angered you." he said, sitting down beside Dewkit once close enough.

"You're grieving the live you could have had. You can't have Tragedy exists because of rage, rage exists because of grief. It's an endless cycle, and one that's pretty hard to break. Hate feels good." a pause as he leaned forwards.

"You can drown in the hate, and claw your way through a Clan who hasn't shown any love, or compassion...something that, as such a young cat, shouldn't have to ask or fight for. Or you can stay here. Where you'll be loved simply because you exist. Where your hate and discontent can melt away. Be selfish all you want here." he said. "Why go back down and make it a hassle."

[BEAR.]

DUSTPOPPY was tired. Tired of listening to this child have a tantrum about how unfair her life and death was. It was so uninspired, so full of anger that wasn't unique to her, so full of herself now that she had nothing to lose. She wasn't sure why Flutterpaw had come, did she think this pity-brigade would sway the Council?

Well, Rowanmist and Dewkit were a little more sympathetic than Dustpoppy's stoicism. Leave it to StarClan to be pathetic little mice in the face of opposition. "If your life had no purpose, you should thank the warrior who took it." Whining about it, acting like she was a victim when she clearly lacked intuition. "You claim your mentors loved you, but where were they with your training? Why didn't they prepare you better for the prospect of a battle? Every cat with half a braincell knows where those tensions lie, a mere stick snapping in the distance would have been enough to cause a war." A swish of her tail.

"Let's not sugarcoat this, honey. You chose to participate in that fight, untrained. Instead of taking shelter with the other unprepared kits and apprentices, you pursued fighting with a cat double your size - and paid the price of your foolishness. The difference between you and the many others without a second chance, is many of them did not have a choice. Sickness, ambushes, wings whistling through the air - so many lives taken without an opportunity to preserve their own life.

"But you had that. The dens were untouched, and ThunderClan cats were not hunting those fleeing from battle. Your recklessness is your downfall, and your arrogance shows even now as you speak to us, wallowing in your own self-pity. IF we were to send you back - I would be concerned your lack of survival instinct would follow you into your second chance, and we would see you back here within a few moons." She glanced at the StarClanners, mildly curious on how they'd react. Both were more concerned with the talk of love and unfairness without digging into reality. "Tell me, kitten, how do you plan on going about improving yourself? On being a better apprentice and Clan-mate? I need more than "I will", I want to see you've thought this through instead of continuing to be impulsive."

[ @blxze. @taillow @Starfall ]

[Blaaze]

|__ Flutterpaw __|
"Just to think the chance they never gave you would've
been your last."

Despite her desire to snap, Flutterpaw kept her cool (Or rather, her normal self) as she stared
at each of the Council Members who had taken the time to listen to her speech. She swallowed
after Dustpoppy talked, but turned to face Dewkit, then Rowanmist.. She blinked slowly as she stared
directly at the kit. "A good question. I want to go back to the clan, where I feel unloved, because I have
a job to do. You think any of my clanmates are going to come find me when their bloody time
comes?" A paused a moment, gaze thoughtful, shielding the pain that hid behind it. Shielding
the longing. Her gaze snapped to Dustpoppy for a moment, eyes filled with energy bouncing at
the corners of her features. "I didn't deserve their love, after all. I didn't accomplish much of
anything, now did I? To earn respect, you have to accomplish something. Do something meaningful."
She let her words slip through the clearing uninterrupted for a moment. "I won't succumb to
the pressure. I won't succumb to the pressure because I have a reason to be there, I have ambition.
I have drive. Energy thrives in my bones. The energy is boundless, and that energy longs
for ambition. To fight for my right to be in the clan, the right to be amongst the warriors who fought
the battle of which slaughtered me. And you know what else?" She stared emotionlessly at
Dustpoppy. "Perhaps I am grateful, ma'am. I'm grateful for that reality check that life is a
privilege. A privilege a lump like I was may not have deserved." She caught her breath and
closed her eyes briefly. Then, they opened, as determined and fierce as ever. "I won't succumb
to the pressure because life is like a mountain. It has it's rough parts, it's pleasant parts, and every
part in between until you reach the summit. After you reach the peak of your time, you slowly make
your way back down here. And at that point, I won't flinch under the eyes of death. Why?" A
brief pause for effect. "I'm a bloody fighter. Let me tell you a story. When I first came here, I
was wallowing in grief. I was ravaged with Depression." She shuddered- slightly at the memory.
"I hid from the shining light of the stars, cowarding in the shadows. But I've learned not to hide
from the gleam, but instead to stare right at the bloody lights." Hazel eyes, flecked with stars,
flicked from each Council member. Then, they rested on Rowanmist. "My clanmates had a right to
not love me. I did absolutely nothing for them. And that means I don't deserve the love I have
received here. I don't deserve anything I've received here. I have hidden from any care or sympathy,
I have hidden from everything. Everyone." A sudden wave of ferocity jolted like lightning through
her. "And My mentors aren't to blame for what I did. Garlicfeather taught me to fight. He taught me
to fight, and he tried to help me at my time of stupidity. I was running for a cat I could definitely take
on. I was stupid enough to assume he wouldn't come for me, the idiotic Thunderclan warrior." She
hid a wince at the memory of her death. "Garlicfeather tried to murder him. The foxheart escaped.
He got what he deserved. And perhaps, depending on how you look at it, so did I." She blinked slowly.
"I've fought foxes and warriors. I've fought depression and self-hatred. I've accepted the fact that I
was useless, and took life for granted. And I've accepted the fact that I'm dead. I've stared death in the
face, and got what I deserved. But now I'm ready to mend, and show my clan just what I can do. And that's
Fight. Fight for life, fight for my rights, fight for redemption. I stared the stars right back. Because the
light doesn't blind you. It strengthens you. It teaches you what you can do. The greatest weapon of all is
being underestimated. But sometimes it's a weakness. But I'll slaughter any challenges that come my way.
When life is at it's worst, it can get worse or you can fight to get better. And I'm prepared to fight."

._______._____._______.
| @taillow | @BEAR. | @Starfall

[taillow]

Dewkit - StarClan Spirit
small, fluffy grey kit with blue eyes and a splash of white on her face.

To say that Dewkit was disappointed would be an understatement. It showed in her face and continued to grow as Flutterpaw went on. The back and forth was confusing, especially the answer to Dustpoppy's question. There was no plan, no real concrete mention of what she would do outside of having "boundless energy". It didn't really sound like any accountability was taken, which is something the StarClan spirit had been hoping to hear. "You speak of a job you have to do and yet outside of explaining about all this energy you have, you have yet to explain that." The distaste was clear on her tongue, but there was confliction in her eyes. This cat was young, and could have so much potential. But Dewkit saw little reason to bring a cat back who did not understand that what they had done wasn't the smartest idea and that their death had been mostly their own fault.

"Every cat who wants to go back has ambition. Drive. Energy. I need to know what you plan to do with it - what lessons your first life, and death, have taught you. You're saying a lot but the weight of your words is lacking." Dewkit glanced to the side to peer up at Rowanmist and Dustpoppy, before looking back at Flutterpaw. "If we send you back only for you to go in swinging once again, your fire will be doused and you will be stuck in the stars for good. So tell me, Flutterpaw," Dewkit stared at the apprentice before her, gaze searching, "what have you learned from your mistakes and how exactly will you take the steps to ensure you won't succumb to the pressure?"

[ Flutterpaw - @zBlaze ] [ Rowanmist - @Starfall ] [ Dustpoppy - @BEAR. ]

[Starfall]

Rowanmist
He/Him || Former RiverClan warrior || StarClan Resident @zBlaze ; @taillow ; @BEAR.

The tabby let the younger speak as he simply sat back. She had said everything he was thinking, no need to berrate the Apprentice about the same thing, after all coming and speaking to the council is stressful enough as is.

With a moment to think, Rowanmist spoke up. "Are you a flame, or are you an ember. Think wisely about this. What you plan to achieve, without anger clouding your vision."

[Abyssopelagic]

[ @BEAR. , @zBlaze ]
Not sure who's turn it was, but smol bump!
zBlaze, if you wish for this to be filed away instead of continuing, please feel free to contact me!
You can always try again in the future if so