daisy . sunflower . rhododendron [va]

[furrensic]

warning! the thread contains the following: mentions of death, cannibalism, anxiety, paranoia

. daisy . sunflower . rhododendron .

⇾ daisies are said to symbolize innocence, new beginnings.
⇾ sunflowers are said to symbolize loyalty, longevity.
⇾ rhododendron are said to symbolize caution and danger. a warning.
___________

it's midnight. squirrelpaw is awake once again, yellow eyes trained on the ceiling of the hollowed stump. not the welcoming, familiar cave. she blinks wearily, gaze dropping to sweep across the apprentices snoozing in the new den of the new camp. not a single one is awake. all are lost to the cozy dreamscapes their mind has to offer...or disturbing, if they're anything like squirrelpaw. she wonders if cats such as mistlewhisker or even dawnstar, the queen of mean herself, have nightmares. what could scare mistlewhisker of all cats...? she seems invincible, unshakable, she ponders. dawnstar even more, she's honestly not sure whether she's comforted or unsettled by the thought of seemingly hardened, battle trained cats having nightmares too. theirs must be much worse than mine, she concludes with a glum sigh.

the russet apprentice knows it's not safe – slipping out of her nest and take a seat outside of the stump – even if she's just outside, just within view of any apprentice that just happens to wake up; it's not safe. all thanks to some cannibal moseying about shadowclan, probably searching for their next victim. or perhaps they've already got some cat ensnared in their claws and jaws alike. the mere thought sends a shiver down her spine, tri-color fur bristling and tail wrapping around her paws. her eyes dart around the dark clearing, lingering on the shadows. images of whitetwist's body flash through her mind and she almost, almost lowers into a protective crouch. instead, she forces herself to sit up straight despite the way her heart is now drumming in her chest painfully, the way a sense of impending doom digs it's claws into her.

I'm a guard. I'm a guard. imaguardimaguardimaguard-- she reminds herself, almost a mantra. guard..she was one now, and so was goopywhisker. would..goopywhisker's mother be proud of him? of gutspaw? of rotpaw, of bilepaw? wherever the last two are. would squirrelpaw's mother be proud of her? she feels like she's come at least a little ways since she's become an apprentice. of course mistle.., ah. "orangeslash..mama, she'd be..proud. I - I hope.." she murmurs. she is, or she believes, she's come a long way..with mistlewhisker and goopywhisker's help. would she be where she is now if she'd been reassigned to someone else that day? or if goopy hadn't squashed her meal (which, is now a fond memory)? or would she still be unbelievably miserable? which..often times she still is, but considerably less than she used to be. she believes that's all that matters. she's grown, even if it's just by a little bit (in her eyes), she's improved, she's going to..make mistlewhisker and goopywhisker proud. she's grateful, more than she lets on. for she, in her mind, is nothing without them. I should tell them both thanks, she decides.

squirrelpaw feels relieved. something she's felt only maybe pawful of times in her life.

inhaling deeply, her heart rate slows a considerable amount. yellow gaze sweeps across the dark clearing once more, still lingering in the darker depths - the shadows. for any signs of life. then, her gaze flickers upwards to the sky. the surrounding forest and cedar trees provide a canopy, not leaving much of the sky to be seen save for a sliver. if she looks close enough, she's sure she can see a few stars twinkling. starclan..if I'm honest..I don't know if I'm happy you put twolegs in our territory or not..but maybe this is a sign? is it?, she wonders, brows furrowing slightly in concentration and consideration.

a new camp. hopefully, a new name soon, when she becomes a warrior. she rises to her paws, stretching her limbs with a weary sigh. she believes it's selfish to think starclan would cause such an event just for her to interpret it as her own personal sign, but she can't help it. it's a small nudge of motivation. maybe this move could prove as a new beginning of sorts – where she's able to overpower her nerves and mind alike, become someone who younger her would be proud of.

"s-silly," she muses as she silently enters the apprentice's den once more, small smile tugging at her lips.