Bats Come out at Night [P]

[TheNyanCatMinecart]

~ TWISTEDPAW OF WINDCLAN ~

AFAB | SHE/HER | APPRENTICE | 16 MOONS | NO PURRKS

Small, skinny, black she-cat with a light gray belly and tail-tip, a mangled tail, a crooked jaw, and one blind eye.

Almost... there...

Pain stabbed through her stomach and sent fiery streaks across her flank and leg as Twistedpaw limped across the clearing. It was an effort to stay upright, let alone keep walking. She would've gritted her teeth if her crooked jaw wasn't so stiff and dangly. It was freezing. The night air whipped against her malnourished frame, sinking into her matted fur and building an ache in her deformed areas. Her distorted nose and tiny ear felt frozen with cold. It was strange, only feeling the icy nip in one ear and not both. The chill might've soothed the burn of her tender, healing wounds had she been able to produce any body heat herself. Chills wracked the apprentice's body and caused her cuts to groan in protest. She couldn't remember ever feeling this starved of heat, even in leaf-bare.

Twistedpaw hated it. The pain, the cold. And she felt so alone in the dark. So small. It reminded her of when she was a kit in the nursery, hiding from everyone else because she thought she was cursed, playing with her imaginary friends because she'd cast everyone else out. Now she was an apprentice who should've been a warrior. Claws of mental torment, self-doubt, and then the claws of the RiverClan warriors had dragged her down. And her deformities. Twistedpaw knew she shouldn't hate herself, and... well, she didn't. But she couldn't help feeling worried. Guilty. The sensation swirled in her belly and mixed with the pain and hunger. She hadn't eaten much since her injury.

Staying in the medicine cat's den was unbearable. Lightningstorm was nothing like Cowtuft. She was efficient, but not gentle. Not willing to talk to Twistedpaw beyond basic matters. Sleeping alone was worse. Her wounds hurt, her nest wasn't warm enough, and she was often plagued by nightmares. Cedarfrost's cruel, glittering gaze and lilting voice filled her head as he ripped her apart.

Just look at that ugly face and body of yours. We ain't stopping here, bunny. Have fun.

Twistedpaw suddenly felt queasy. She paused for a moment, panting and shaking, then continued toward the warriors' den.

She needed to talk to Batglare. Now. As her mentor and one of the closest cats to her, she needed his guidance and perspective. Normally, Twistedpaw was terrified of breaking the rules. The experience with RiverClan fortified that. But right now, she didn't care that she probably wasn't supposed to be doing this. She had tunnel vision for Batglare.

Shaking and fighting off whimpers of pain, Twistedpaw stumbled through the entrance. The change was immediate. Warm air flooded over her from sleeping bodies. Gentle snores filled her ears... well, ear. She winced. Standing still, trying not to pant too loudly, she squinted and attempted to make out Batglare. There were several hulking shapes. It was darker in here than it was outside without the silver light of the moon and stars. She tasted the air. That one was Wolffang, that one was Leechscar, and that one... Batglare!

The small black she-cat lurched over to him. It was impressive, how huge and powerful he was even in rest. And oh, that moss-stuffed nest and long fur... It was irresistible.

Twistedpaw initially planned to announce her presence before she settled down, but she was just so cold and exhausted. Lightningstorm had told her that that was the blood loss. She collapsed onto the moss - and let out a high-pitched whine as her stomach shrieked in protest. For a moment, she lay there, gasping and trembling. Then she glanced over at her mentor.

"B-batglare?" she stammered. She was still shaking with pain, exhaustion, and cold, but it was so much warmer in here. She nestled into the nest and pressed close against Batglare. The bulging tip of her mangled tail twitched. Yet again, it reminded her of the ear she had lost. "I-I w-wanted t-to talk t-to y-you..."

Not a question. Surprisingly. Twistedpaw was more direct than even she expected. But she needed to talk now. If he turned her away... No, she didn't want to think about that. So, she lay there, getting her breath back and warming up so she'd be able to say everything she needed to.

@Moonraven

[Moonraven]

Sleep came uneasily that night. The giant tom is lying on his side, his chest rising and falling steadily. He rested along the edges of the warriors' den, having recently moved his nest. During the colder seasons, he slept towards the center of the den, the perks of being a senior warrior gave him the freedom to move his nest wherever he liked without backlash from the younger brats.

At first, Batglare blamed his ability to fall asleep on the weather. The tom's brown and white pelt was exceedingly fluffy, it kept him warm during leaf-bare but smothered him during greenleaf. He had learned not to kick or squirm too much when he got too hot, and often just left the den to sleep behind it. But something kept him lying there that night, sleepless. He was hot, a bit warmer than he was comfortable with, but wasn't burning to the point that he needed to leave, so that wasn't what kept him up.

The stoic warrior pressed his head against the moss bedding and sighed softly. He knew what kept him up but didn't want to admit it. Young Twistedpaw. Batglare didn't like attachments. Attachments made things messy and more often than not left him feeling bothered. But alas, he knew he could not control who he got attached to. Just like Robin, just like Eldersky, and now he had Twistedpaw. The injured she-cat face kept jumping into his mind.

It was a chore keeping his tail still. He forced the image of the injuired she-cat from his mind and concentracted on clearing his head. It took longer than he would have liked, but evenuallly his mind followed his body and sleep started to creep in. His eyelids grew heavy and sense dulled until he was just about to follow into the relam of slumber, until he felt the weight drop almost on top of him.

Batglare jerked his head up and eyelids open, peering down through the darkness at the cat in his nest. At first, he thought it was one of the warriors who picked the wrong senior to mess with, but the heavy scent of herbs and stale blood reached his nose. That whine reached through the heavy fog disorientation as well. "Twistedpaw," He grumbled in a low meow after the drowiness wore off. She should not be up or wandering in her state.

He was ready to chastise her, however, could he feel her partically vibriated with due to pain? cold? He wasn't certain. As she had just flopped down, she was probably in some pain with her wounds. Resigned that he would always be too soft regarding this she-cat. He huffed exaggeratingly and moved a little closer to her. She was cold, not good for her, but Batglare soaked in the cool chill as he often ran hot.

Assuming she was here for a reason, he dropped his head back down to the moss and coiled his fluffy tail around the curve of her back. It wasn't long before he was asked a question. She always had questions or just wanted to talk. Talking has never been Batglare's strong suit, glareing and brooding was more his thing, but he's been forced to learn to accommodate this troublesome paw. "Speak, I'm listening." He replied, fighting off a yawn.
@TheNyanCatMinecart

[TheNyanCatMinecart]

~ TWISTEDPAW OF WINDCLAN ~

AFAB | SHE/HER | APPRENTICE | 16 MOONS | NO PURRKS

Small, skinny, black she-cat with a light gray belly and tail-tip, a mangled tail, a crooked jaw, and one blind eye.

As Twistedpaw took in deep, gasping breaths, desperately trying to replenish the strength she'd lost on her strenuous walk here, her stomach wailed with pain. Each inhale stretched the deep gashes Cedarfrost had left. She feared the sticky cobwebs and dried poultices Lightingstorm had expertly applied would burst at the seams, staining her mentor's nest with her blood. But, surprisingly, the medicinal items held. Twistedpaw's strength was also beginning to return. She felt less dizzy, and, as her breathing began to slow into a regular rhythm, her belly stopped wailing in protest and faded to a harsh but regular sting. Batglare's fluff helped, too. His warmth poured into the apprentice's cold body and provided her with energy... and comfort.

It took a couple moments for Batglare's narrowed yellow-green gaze to fall upon her. His eyes flashed in the darkness, even more vibrant than his white markings. Twistedpaw felt content - as content as she could be with her wounds constantly burning, anyway. Determination also seared her pelt. I can't sleep in the medicine cat's den anymore, I just can't. I have to talk to him! And yet a tingle of anxiety ran through the black she-cat. Would Batglare be mad at her? Would he call her foolish or force her back? I'm definitely too weak to walk back... The idea made Twistedpaw sick. No, he wouldn't-

Batglare's sleepy, gruff meow cut into her thoughts. She blinked and focused on him. He'd just said her name. Nothing more. His eyes flashed, though, and Twistedpaw's wounds hissed as she tensed. He was going to scold her. She... well, she'd been hoping he wouldn't, but that had been foolish.

Or maybe not. She must've imagined that look, for Batglare was now scooting closer to her, and...

Oh, he was so warm.

Twistedpaw burrowed deeper into his fur, pressing her small, skinny frame against his huge, muscular body. A purr rumbled in her throat. It made her stomach hurt, but she didn't care. The chill that had taken root deep within her bones began to melt away like frost under the newleaf sun. She closed her eyes for a moment and let the comforting feelings wash over her. And the way he draped his tail over her back a moment later... It reminded the she-cat of when Fireflame had cared for her. The memory brought a pang of loss, but it was quickly swamped by the comfort provided by Batglare. Was... was this what having a father was like? Someone who wasn't a mother, but still provided support and solace? She'd felt similarly with Cowtuft whenever he'd cuddled with her. Like there was a parental presence holding her in its cozy embrace.

Cowtuft. The memory of the huge, fluffy, white-and-black tom brought another pang of loss, fresher and more vivid than Fireflame's as the tang of stale herbs flooded into Twistedpaw's nose. The purr died in her throat. She opened her eyes. Batglare was now asking her to speak. The time had come.

The thoughts and worries that had plagued the apprentice since she'd gone into the medicine cat's den returned. They made her itch with nerves and discomfort. She was used to feeling like this. Confused. Anxious. And yet... tonight, though the thoughts bothered her, they were nowhere near as crippling as they'd been before. She needed guidance and comfort, yes, but she wasn't lost. She wasn't pushing away the support she'd acquired.

Twistedpaw looked up at Batglare and breathed in his familiar scent. Thank you, StarClan, for making him my mentor. And Twilightstar. She didn't want to know where she'd be without him.

"Batglare..." she began. A little twinge of pain cut her off. I'll have to get used to that, she thought with a twitch of her bulging tail-tip, its light gray coloring prominent in the shadows. It must look like it was floating in the air; the rest of her black fur would be invisible in the gloom. Batglare's dark brown coat was already difficult to distinguish. Twistedpaw took a deep breath to prepare herself for the words to come, but that just caused another flare of pain in her stomach. She winced. Don't do that. She'd just have to speak normally and fight through the pain.

How much pain would she have to fight through in her life?

"Batglare, I... it's so hard for me to sleep in the medicine cat's den. Cowtuft isn't there anymore, and Lightningstorm isn't the same. It hurts... I'm so cold... and..."

Everything she said was true. So why did it feel like she was prancing around the topic? Am I scared of him judging me? She blinked, her eyes flashing in the shadows. It didn't take her long to find the answer. Yes. Batglare had been so great about not judging her, but she was afraid that what she said next would sound unwarriorlike. Cowardly. She let her stomach settle a little and allowed more warmth to seep into her body before continuing.

"...and I keep getting nightmares. About the attack from RiverClan." She lowered her gaze. Her cheeks burned, and her chest felt tight with fear as the memories came flooding back. "I... I didn't t-tell you everything that happened. There... just wasn't a chance. When one of the cats - Cedarfrost - attacked me, he... he mocked me. For the way I looked. He... he said something... was wrong with me, and I deserved to suffer. And against them both, I... I wasn't strong enough to fight back."

Her eye had adjusted to the gloom, and she could both see and feel her paws trembling. The pain in her stomach and flank stopped the tremor from spreading to the rest of her body. Could Batglare feel it, too? Probably, since they were pressed so close together.

"Batglare..." She looked back up at her mentor, her eyes brimming with fresh tears. They stung, though they felt insignificant, considering what she'd been through. "I-I know other cats are gonna treat me differently because of the way I look. Like... like Willowsky and Flutteringkit. My deformities make them act out. They make me a target. And... and I know pain is a part of life. We're warriors. We fight. But..."

The shame and confusion came back in full force. Although she was comfortable, her cheeks and ear felt too hot. It felt like a lump was forming in her throat. The sensation was all too familiar. She called it her throat frog. The thought felt silly, considering the circumstances.

"Is... is it wrong of me to be afraid? To be scared that... that I'll be targeted again? To be scared that I'm gonna get hurt? Because... I don't wanna get hurt. I don't wanna be targeted. But I want... I want to be a warrior. I shouldn't be afraid. Especially since I'm old enough to be a warrior. I would be if it wasn't for... for all my... for everything that's happened to me. But I am."

Her stomach was truly burning now. The fresh tremors that had overtaken Twistedpaw's body didn't help. The skinny apprentice, overcome by emotion and anxiously awaiting her mentor's response, leaned against him more heavily as hot tears streamed down her face.

@Moonraven (AAA I LOVE THESE TWO)

[Moonraven]

He lazily stroked his tail along the apprentice's bony back waiting for her to gather her thoughts and talk. He got used to playing the waiting game with her. Batglare considers himself a very patient cat, but even he had been pushed to an extent regarding patience with Twistedpaw. His inability to properly understand and empathize with her tended to frustrate him. He never blamed her; it was always his fault for being so detached. But he's learned, as he's taught her, she's taught him a few things. It might not seem like it, but he knew he had changed, not a great deal, but there was change.

He still didn't fully understand her, but he tried. Comforting her has become second nature to him, watching her moods, and speaking more have all become a habit to him. The call of his name drew him from his thoughts and back to reality with Twistedpaw. Seemed like she was ready now. He lifted his large head, watching Twistedpaw while yawning soundlessly, and shifted his huge body to get more comfortable. It's been forever since he's had to share a nest with a cat.

The scent of herbs continued to tickle his nose. He did his best to avoid sneezing, the last thing he needed was the warriors to wake up and grumble about how noisy he was. Most knew better than to test him, but Leechscar was one of the bold ones who enjoyed pushing the limits with him.

He tuned back into listening to Twistedpaw speak about missing Cowtuft and her nightmares. But what really bugged him was the talk about that piece of foxdung, Cedarfrost. Batglare said nothing, but his body stiffened and his muscles tensed underneath his thick brown and white coat. If he ever saw that foxheart, he was a dead tom. Batglare gave a low, humming grunt of dissatisfaction before dropping his head back down on his paws without removing his yellow-green glare from his apprentice. For a moment he thought they'd be having a repeat conversation about her unique appearance, but no. This one stemmed from fear.

"Fear is a natural feeling. It doesn't matter how old or strong you get, it's always with you. It's not something to feel ashamed about nor is there anything wrong with it. The fear of pain keeps us safe and reminds us that our lives are important. It is alright to feel it but don't let it drown or overwhelm you. Constantly living in fear is not healthy and can keep you from living your life. All warriors fear whether it's for their life, fear of pain, fear of failure, fear of change, fear is fear. But we all strive to overcome it. Fear is the brain’s way of saying there is something important for you to overcome. Acknowledge your fear and move forward, pain can make one stronger, fear can make one braver." He curled his tail more securely around the apprentice and leaned in closer to her as tremors shook her body.

"I was scared seeing you hurt and terrified that I would lose you when Lightningstorm explained to me how extensive your injuries were. You would be in mind forever if you ended up passing because I wasn't watching over you properly. Knowing that I won't be able to protect you from everything is a scary thought." Batglare replied in his usual measured tone. Batglare didn't wear his feelings on his tail like normal cats, but it didn't mean he didn't feel them.

"I don't want you hurt, and I will do better to ensure that you are never placed in a situation like that again." He promised with a huff. "You will always have the clan to turn to and count on, your sister, and those who care for you to help face your fears. So even if there are more like Cedarfrost, who are out to hurt you for some featherbrain reason, take console in the fact that WindClan will stand with you as will I. Such actions will not go unpunished."
@TheNyanCatMinecart

[TheNyanCatMinecart]

~ TWISTEDPAW OF WINDCLAN ~

AFAB | SHE/HER | APPRENTICE | 16 MOONS | NO PURRKS

Small, skinny, black she-cat with a light gray belly and tail-tip, a mangled tail, a crooked jaw, and one blind eye.

The gentle stroke of Batglare's tail along her back gradually stilled the tremors that wracked Twistedpaw's damaged body. Her muscles began to relax; the pain in her stomach faded to a manageable sting. She took a deep, shaky breath, allowing the tears that scorched her eyes to be freed. They ran down her round black cheeks and disappeared into her mentor's abundant fluff. Twistedpaw felt like she'd melted into him, like they'd merged to become one. She couldn't feel the bony bits of her tail that usually drove into other cats' sides when she tried to cuddle. They'd become lost in a realm of dark brown and white, his heat soaking into her until she felt safe.

But what they were talking about was not safe. Twistedpaw's throat still felt tight, her stomach filled to the brim with fear. Was it possible for something to be light and heavy at the same time? Well, that was her belly, for anxiety lifted it up while the hefty emotion dragged it down.

Because they were pressed so close together, the overaged apprentice felt Batglare's muscles tense. She saw his eyes flash with anger, heard the grunt that came from his throat as he moved his head. A claw of worry pierced her stomach. Is he upset with me? She was afraid, she was insecure, and yet...

...she had a feeling he wasn't. Twistedpaw couldn't explain it, but somehow, she didn't think Batglare was angry. Or judging her. He'd promised not to judge her and to always help her get better, and he was one of the greatest cats she knew.

His rumbling voice made Twistedpaw's working eye shift so he was in her full view. Her remaining ear pricked. This was what she'd been waiting for, desperate to hear. Batglare was always full of great advice.

And tonight, he did not fail to deliver.

Fear is a natural feeling. Some of Twistedpaw's anxiety took flight, leaving her stomach a little emptier and lowering it toward its rightful place. There had been no reason for her to worry about sounding foolish after all. It was okay to be scared. The fear of pain keeps us safe and reminds us that our lives are important. That part really stuck out to Twistedpaw.

For so long, she'd believed that her life wasn't important. That she was a curse, a disgrace, someone who only harmed others. Yet she'd always been afraid. Afraid of how others would react to her, afraid of getting hurt, afraid of leaving WindClan, afraid of dying. It had been a natural instinct. Somewhere, deep within, she'd had a sense of self-preservation, no matter the way she felt. My instincts kept me alive, she thought, even when my brain told me that I was horrible. What did that say about her? That, deep down, she'd always realized that she'd deserved a life? Or had she just been too afraid to do anything drastic, like run away or get hurt?

Fear was an important part of life. But, as Batglare was saying... she couldn't let that fear control her. Just as she shouldn't let her emotions control her, like she'd done on the day of Cowtuft's exile. Her mentor listed off different kinds of fear as he might explain the best ways to hunt a rabbit, and Twistedpaw nodded along with it, her crooked jaw bobbing lightly. It was almost scary, how deeply she related to them. Other cats feel that way... For some reason, she'd never fully considered it. She'd been so caught up in her own fears, her own insecurities, how others viewed her...

However, her mismatched eyes stretched wide with shock when Batglare explained how he'd been scared. Terrified, even. "R-really?" she blurted, so astonished that she didn't even feel guilty for accidentally interrupting him. It was just... so weird, so wrong, to think of this big, strong, tough, gruff cat... afraid.

For me.

Twistedpaw's shock melted into a strange feeling. It warmed her from nose to tail-tip, yet she felt... upset at the same time. Sad that she'd made him feel that way, but not guilty. And the warmth... No, she wasn't glad that he'd been scared. But it showed how much he truly cared for her, that he wasn't all tough like she'd thought. Every cat experiences fear. If even someone like Batglare felt it, then why should she be guilty?

Batglare had always encouraged her to accept herself, to come out of her shell. That kind of fear - the kind that stopped her from doing anything, from talking to her Clanmates and being happy - that wasn't okay. It wasn't all her fault; she'd had a really, really rough life. However, with Batglare and Brightpaw by her side, she knew she could work through it. I can be less afraid for the wrong reasons. I... I can become a better cat. A better warrior.

Her mentor's promise to keep her safe made Twistedpaw purr a little. She trusted him with all her heart. He'd made one mistake, and really, that had been Twistedpaw's own fault. And Swiftfire's. And RiverClan's. They'd done many bad things. There would be more fights soon. More war. Twistedpaw was an apprentice now, but, as much as she valued the security Batglare provided... she'd learned something.

She had to be strong herself, too.

And trust her Clanmates more.

Twistedpaw took a deep breath, filled with more resolve than she'd ever felt in her life. Her stomach twinged, but she ignored it. The pain had become familiar. Uncomfortable, but familiar.

When she spoke, her voice was quiet but powerful.

"There are always going to be cats who hate me for reasons I can't control. In WindClan. Out of WindClan. But... you're right, Batglare. It's okay for me to be scared sometimes. It's what kept me going when I hated myself. I didn't want to leave WindClan or get hurt, so I stayed, and... and that allowed me to learn and grow. However... I've spent a long time being afraid of my own Clanmates, of myself, and now of the other Clans. Of RiverClan, of Cedarfrost. But... I can't let that fear control me."

She looked into his narrowed yellow-green eyes. They were a beacon in the darkness, locking her gaze in place even though she only had one working eye.

"I don't want to be so scared anymore. I won't be reckless, but I want to be brave. And, with everything you've taught me... I know I can start that process. But there's more I need to know. When I get better, I want to learn more fighting moves. I need to learn how to defend myself and my Clan. I want to learn. I'm so grateful that you're here for me, more than I can say, but... I have to stand on my own four paws, too. We might be separated. You might not always be here to protect me. I'm going to be a warrior, and I'm going to be a good one."

@Moonraven