risks at play, but keep death at bay. [p]

[Rose]

MAJOR TW: This entire thread has mentions of poison effects and near-death experiences. Read at your own discretion.

[ The inner workings of Lostspark's Mithridatism journey are heavily inspired by @/Orion's former Toxin Club.
This roleplay thread takes place after the May Gathering. ]

Experimentation Phase: Deathberries (Taxus baccata) [Level 0]
Roll: 9 - Success
Experience Points Earned: 10 (Success) + 1 (Post) = 11

---

Lostspark
She/Her | Purrks Overlook

Lostspark. . . had picked up a new hobby. It was unconventional, but one day, it would pay off. Hopefully. That was, if this paid off, and didn't end in disaster. It was a risk, one of the biggest she had ever taken, but ... Lostspark was willing to take it. Now that she had no Medicine Cat duties to loiter after, it was time to bring to light a new finish line. A new ambition. One way or another, she was going to do this.

Foggy amber gaze fixed on the small, innocent-looking berry at her paws, Lostspark lowered her head to inspect it. She had not stolen it from the herb store - she was not that stupid. Mossfreckle would notice. Besides, now that she knew the herbs that healed so intimately, she supposed it was only fair to know their counterpart just as well.

Poisons.

Letting out a shaky breath (yes, she was nervous as hell, who wouldn't be?), the Medicine Cat waited a beat, and then carefully sank her claw into the berry, waiting a couple moments for the juice to drip out onto the waiting ivory before bringing said claw to her lips. She would start small. She knew that the seeds of the deathberry was the most poisonous part of it, so trying that right away would be downright stupid. It was now or nothing.

The act of licking her claw was simple. A daily task - one that Lostspark would never see the same again. Now, she was to play the waiting game. She waited, and waited, and it was when her stomach began rebelling, cringing, wrenching itself, that she braced herself for any other side-effects. She hadn't died so far, that was good. Thank the skies.

The world blurred for a moment, her head spinning as she felt dizzy, and then the feeling was gone. Her stomach settled a little while later.

She had not died yet, it seemed. Her first bout of self-induced poisoning was a success.

[Rose]

Experimentation Phase: Deathberries (Taxus baccata) [Level 0]
Roll: 8 - Success
Experience Points Earned: 11 (Base) + 10 (Success) + 1 (Post) = 22

Experimentation Phase: Nightshade (Solanaceae) [Level 0]
Roll: 3 - Severe Failure
Experience Points Earned: 30 (Severe Failure) + 1 (Post) = 31

---

Lostspark
She/Her | Purrks Overlook

Maybe her ambitions came with a price. Maybe she was being more than overeager. But if she didn’t keep this up, if she didn’t continue to keep it up, then what was the point of learning how to resist poisons in the first place. So in the end, her first ‘snack’ of the day, after finding her secluded clearing once more, was another deathberry. Not in its entirety, of course – she was not yet willing to risk that. The flesh of the berry was edible, it turned out. The only part of it that was not poisonous. But the poison was what she was here for, so that was what she would focus on.

Ingesting a portion of said berry was a simple task - it was the waiting for the inevitable that got her. She waited, as the sun got lower in the sky. The symptoms were there, she felt them. They were mild, and then they dissipated. Sure, she would probably feel a little weaker than usual for a couple hours, but once that wore off… she could move on.

So Lostspark got up and left her little corner of ShadowClan territory, roaming at a leisurely pace, searching for the next plant she was intending to try and eat. Plenty of risks, yeah, but she was willing to take them.

Hours later, when the effects of the deathberry had worn off, the Medicine Cat returned to her little hollow, her patch of solitude. She’d very likely regret this later on, but she had not been born to a cat named Risk for nothing. Wariness had been her companion for so long, maybe a little recklessness was due. And so, cutting a portion of the deadly nightshade laid out in front of her, Lostspark wasted not another second.

It was when then queasiness took over that she realized the gravity of what she had done. She had been warned, had she not? Her nightmare had not been just a nightmare, it seemed.

‘Beware the poison,
beware the Nightshade.’

An omen of what was to come, that she had overlooked. She staggered a step, and then another, the world around her blurring as her head throbbed with pain. The sun, even setting, felt like it was burning her eyes. Lostspark gasped as she lost her balance and hunched over, retching into the grass. Bile burned her throat, her eyes watering as she retched again, feeling dizzier than ever. Hell, she was going to die. Lostspark did not wish to die. Not yet, at least. She had… she had more to do before she could perish.

But the chanting in her head, the whispering voices that only emerged at night, in the depths of her nightmares, emerged in this weakness. You will perish, they whispered. You will die. Alone. Hated. Forgotten. Her stomach lurched once more as it emptied, but now all she felt was weakness. Weakness in her limbs, a haziness in her brain, ringing in her ears, and … a kit in her sight? A… what? Dilated pupils narrowing as she tried to focus, Lostspark stared… and stared… and stared. She could not believe her eyes, for it was her son who stood in front of her now.

And not just any son. The eldest of her litter of thirteen, the one that had died. “...Smoke..kit..?” Her voice was slurred, the effects of the poison sweeping over her in waves, but Lostspark was certain she was not… surely, she was not just imagining her son? Was he a hallucination?

Or had she died?

[ @BEAR. - Smokekit ]

[BEAR.]

[ SPIRITUAL ENCOUNTER ACTIVATED ]

SMOKEKIT had come as quick as he could. He didn't like his mama playing such a dangerous game - not when they didn't know the consequences, not when it was so easy to make a fatal mistake.

Granpawpaw had given him some guidance on how to get to her. And now, here he was - placing his paws against her and aggressively shaking her. "Mama, you gotta stay awake! Mama!" If she let the darkness overtake her, it'd be game over. "Come on, mama! You gotta!" If not for him, for the siblings who'd already experienced so much loss and pain. "Please.."

[ @Rose ]

[Rose]

Lostspark
She/Her | Purrks Overlook

Smokekit… was here. He was on the mortal plane, standing in front of her, pleading with her… for what? What was he saying? Lostspark could not hear. All she could focus on was the sound of her heartbeat, loud in her ears and yet, thudding along at a slow, pitiful pace.

She was being shaken. She was being… yelled at? It was muffled, but she could hear the pleading tone in Smokekit’s voice. His voice. Bleeding burning skies, how could she hear him? How could she see him, even if it felt like she was the one a million miles away? ‘I’m right here,’ she wished to say. ‘I’m awake.’ Her throat worked, her mouth opening, but nothing came out. Her mouth was too dry, too parched, her limbs felt weak.

Was this how it felt to die? Slow and suffering?

Her vision was blurred. Everything was spinning, the world around her had seemingly decided to punish her for her recklessness. What was she seeing? What was she looking at? Her son was here. Her Smokekit, lost to the whims of the world. If she could go back, if she could alter time, make it so she’d been there a few moments earlier, make it so she could have at the very least found who had dared take bites out of her son and make them pay. Make them face the fury that’d been bubbling inside her for moons.

But she had been too late. Too late to stop Smokekit from eating the herbs she hadn’t realized to put out of reach. Too late to stop whichever skiesdamned cannibal had thought it was a good idea to try and eat him. An enraged snarl built in her throat at the recollections, the sound rumbling through her as clarity returned, if only for a moment. Her gaze sharpened, flitting to the tom that was shaking her awake.

He was here, and yet, he was not. Lostspark could almost practically see through him. “‘m… aw-wake…” She rasped weakly, the words slurred, muscles bunching as she forced a paw underneath her, limbs shaking uncontrollably as she pushed herself into a semi-upright position, body shuddering with weakness, eyes glowing like embers.

“H..how… Are you here?” The words were a struggle to form, but speak them she would, because her son had somehow appeared here, for her, and she would not waste this blessing, this gift. Lostspark didn’t know if she was asking him how he was here, or if he really was here, but did it matter? Reaching out, limb shaking with both uncertainty and poisoning lethargy, Lostspark attempted to press her paw pad against Smokekit’s cheek. “What a-are you doing… here?”

[ @BEAR. - Smokekit ]