Falling Wishes and Sweeter Dreams

Tiabirb · #1 March 10th, 2024, 08:47 PM

Sweetsong
--------------

Her eyes opened. Another restless night, and another day with a restless feeling in her heart. Her decorated nest of feathers and flowers had been thoroughly dismantled as she had tossed and turned, and Sweetsong sighed tiredly as she sat up in her nest, shaking the loose moss and clinging feathers from her pelt one slow scrap at a time. The soft breathing beside her made her green eyes turn toward the pretty diluted calico. Fallenwish was still sleeping, and Sweetsong watched her sister, albeit a later litter, with a warm fondness in her gaze. But her eyes trailed down to Fallenwish's leg, and the odd fidgeting in the she-cat's sleeping body.

Sweetsong hadn't missed the scowling contortion of Fallenwish's face as she slept. She was so...emotive. It was though she had smelled something foul. So with a small white paw, Sweetsong prodded Fallenwish's shoulder.
"Fallenwish?" She whispered, "Fallenwish, it's dawn..." Once more her eyes slid down over the leg. "How about we take a morning walk to strengthen your leg a little? Hm? Maybe even test it a little by catching some breakfast?" She chuckled with humor making her eyes glow. "I love how cool the river is in the morning, don't you?"

@shoomy!

**Aolani** · #2 March 12th, 2024, 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiabirb

Sweetsong
--------------

Her eyes opened. Another restless night, and another day with a restless feeling in her heart. Her decorated nest of feathers and flowers had been thoroughly dismantled as she had tossed and turned, and Sweetsong sighed tiredly as she sat up in her nest, shaking the loose moss and clinging feathers from her pelt one slow scrap at a time. The soft breathing beside her made her green eyes turn toward the pretty diluted calico. Fallenwish was still sleeping, and Sweetsong watched her sister, albeit a later litter, with a warm fondness in her gaze. But her eyes trailed down to Fallenwish's leg, and the odd fidgeting in the she-cat's sleeping body.

Sweetsong hadn't missed the scowling contortion of Fallenwish's face as she slept. She was so...emotive. It was though she had smelled something foul. So with a small white paw, Sweetsong prodded Fallenwish's shoulder.
"Fallenwish?" She whispered, "Fallenwish, it's dawn..." Once more her eyes slid down over the leg. "How about we take a morning walk to strengthen your leg a little? Hm? Maybe even test it a little by catching some breakfast?" She chuckled with humor making her eyes glow. "I love how cool the river is in the morning, don't you?"

@shoomy!

Her last sight of the dream was a cold, gray face. Before she knew it, her vision had blurred into nothing, finding herself back in her cozy nest. "Ge-" Fallenwish opened her eyes, seeing Sweetsong's paw as if it was waking her.

Poisonberry's words flashed through her mind, as if it was a reminder to ask her. Later.

"Dawn? Already? Hmm." She yawned, stretching. "Sounds great!
No point in giving up on life." Fallenwish said, trying to hide the tone of concern in her voice. She got to her feet and bounced into camp.

The sun hit her eyes. "Agh." She blinked a few times, adjusting. The sun seemed to shine brighter when the rest is dark. It was sunrise.

She did her best to approach the tunnel, leaving obvious paw marks behind her. She didn't mean to. She just... wasn't good at walking?

Fallenwish returned to her constant thoughts. Would she be able to do anything correctly? Could she serve her queen? She never, ever, wanted to go into battle again.

Once she was a ways away from camp, she stopped and began speaking. "Sweetsong? So... I think you know I know that my paw isn't going to heal." Fallenwish started. "I might work out something with fishing, and definitely walking, but... I never want to go into battle again. I don't want to risk it. I have to, though. I can't be medicine cat, right? I don't have any connection to Starclan. The closest thing I've gotten to that is my dream yesterday." Fallenwish said. she may as well tell her about it.

"I-I saw Poisonberry while I was sleeping. She was definitely Poisonberry. Same exact cat. She told me to ask you who you see in your dreams. Of course, I can't really trust her? If its something shocking, I won't care. It wont change who you are." Fallenwish said honestly.

Tiabirb · #3 March 13th, 2024, 01:26 PM

Sweetsong
------------------

She wasn't convinced by her sister's forced cheer, and she watched worriedly while Fallenwish pulled herself from her nest, but while she did she was quick to pluck the scraps of moss from her sister's pelt with her small white paws as Fallenwish headed outside. Sweetsong followed close, her head tilting to one side as she noticed the heavy limp.

Outside of camp the air just felt cleaner and fresher, and Sweetsong was ready to start bounding with the butterflies when Fallenwish stopped suddenly and spoke. Sweetsong listened, her expression changing from worry to horror to anxiety. She looked down at her paws, plucking the grass with her claws.

"I wish there was a place for the cats like us..." Sweetsong whispered, "Cats who aren't medicine cats, but they aren't warriors either...I'd call them Herbalists. Cats specially picked and qualified to keep herb patrols flowing and to assist in healing after battles...but something like that is far out of line for us to suggest...I don't think I'll...be medicine cat either." Sweetsong forced back a tearful sob.
But the topic of Poisonberry and StarClan made her pelt bristle uneasily. "Definitely...not a dream from StarClan," She whispered, her eyes clouding over once more with anxiety. How was Poisonberry getting through? Was it because of her?
"I-I saw her as well...but as a shadow almost..." She hesitated, glancing at Fallenwish nervously. "But I was..I was in someone else's dream."

"But what..what if it does?" Sweetsong asked, "I want to be a medicine cat too...it's a shared dream for us both. But I've already sullied my chances...Birdsnow...she's angry with me and...while I understand why, I feel she overreacted...yet I can't blame her...so much burden and pressure was thrown onto her shoulders..." Tears began to fall freely, "But if I still have a chance...what if who I am seeing...if that is shared...that would only jeopardize my chances more...."

But she owed Fallenwish her honesty. Fallenwish shared hers, and Sweetsong hated keeping secrets. She had more than enough...with Fallenwish being one of the only cats who knew of some. Like her vegetarianism. Her dreamwalking. Her fears and deepest worries...
"I-I was...I found myself speaking to Crowpaw..." She said finally, her voice so low that it was barely perceptible. The worst part had yet to be said.
A part that she knew would shock and anger Fallenwish. She had sustained an injury in the recent attack, and as Sweetsong's eyes lifted, they rested on Fallenwish's injured limb, her eyes two liquid pools of sadness and remorse.

"Of ThunderClan...."

@hades.

**Aolani** · #4 March 15th, 2024, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiabirb

Sweetsong
------------------

She wasn't convinced by her sister's forced cheer, and she watched worriedly while Fallenwish pulled herself from her nest, but while she did she was quick to pluck the scraps of moss from her sister's pelt with her small white paws as Fallenwish headed outside. Sweetsong followed close, her head tilting to one side as she noticed the heavy limp.

Outside of camp the air just felt cleaner and fresher, and Sweetsong was ready to start bounding with the butterflies when Fallenwish stopped suddenly and spoke. Sweetsong listened, her expression changing from worry to horror to anxiety. She looked down at her paws, plucking the grass with her claws.

"I wish there was a place for the cats like us..." Sweetsong whispered, "Cats who aren't medicine cats, but they aren't warriors either...I'd call them Herbalists. Cats specially picked and qualified to keep herb patrols flowing and to assist in healing after battles...but something like that is far out of line for us to suggest...I don't think I'll...be medicine cat either." Sweetsong forced back a tearful sob.
But the topic of Poisonberry and StarClan made her pelt bristle uneasily. "Definitely...not a dream from StarClan," She whispered, her eyes clouding over once more with anxiety. How was Poisonberry getting through? Was it because of her?
"I-I saw her as well...but as a shadow almost..." She hesitated, glancing at Fallenwish nervously. "But I was..I was in someone else's dream."

"But what..what if it does?" Sweetsong asked, "I want to be a medicine cat too...it's a shared dream for us both. But I've already sullied my chances...Birdsnow...she's angry with me and...while I understand why, I feel she overreacted...yet I can't blame her...so much burden and pressure was thrown onto her shoulders..." Tears began to fall freely, "But if I still have a chance...what if who I am seeing...if that is shared...that would only jeopardize my chances more...."

But she owed Fallenwish her honesty. Fallenwish shared hers, and Sweetsong hated keeping secrets. She had more than enough...with Fallenwish being one of the only cats who knew of some. Like her vegetarianism. Her dreamwalking. Her fears and deepest worries...
"I-I was...I found myself speaking to Crowpaw..." She said finally, her voice so low that it was barely perceptible. The worst part had yet to be said.
A part that she knew would shock and anger Fallenwish. She had sustained an injury in the recent attack, and as Sweetsong's eyes lifted, they rested on Fallenwish's injured limb, her eyes two liquid pools of sadness and remorse.

"Of ThunderClan...."

@hades.

I like your Herbalist idea. Kinda sounds a lot like just being a medicine cat, though." Fallenwish said. She thought for a moment, sitting under the shade of a willow tree. "You know what?" Fallenwish said, dragging her claw through the dirt, which was damp from the melted snow.

In her picture, she drew a leaf. She thought it looked like comfrey. She drew a figure, too- it wasn't a good picture, but it worked. She crossed off the tail midway- she drew a bunch of lines where was crossed. The thing she didn't draw related to medicine cats was the night sky.

"Why do medicine cats need to be the ones to connect to Starclan? Do they learn to? Are they born with it? If you can learn it, or earn it, then I could understand that. But if not..." Fallenwish paused. "There should be someone else to do it."

Fallenwish looked up at Sweetsong. "What? You're perfect! You know more herbs than me. You have the spirit skills." Fallenwish said with a tone of bitter jealousy. She meant to be supporting, though.

"Oh, yes, absolutely not. Poisonberry in an unholy creature." She glared upwards, hoping Poisonberry could see her. "Foxdung! She mentioned seeing you." Fallenwish almost said something about the dreamwalking, but she remembered right before a word slipped from her mouth. She did, however, look back at her scene. She wiped it away and looked back up.

"It won't change who you are. We're both related to... her. But you're, like, the polar opposite. Take that as a compliment." She said.

"For the record, I still don't think any less of you. You did what you thought was right. You might have even been right." Fallenwish offered, smiling for a second. "I wouldn't consider telling Birdsnow for a second."

Crowpaw? She didn't know a cat named that. Fallenwish patiently watched Sweetsong. "Sweetsong? You good?" It was a stupid question. She obviously wasn't okay. She placed her paw on a ruffled part of Sweetsong's fur and flattened it.

Fallenwish sat for a few moments. Of Thunderclan. She thought. "Okay." She said. That was one of the many things that made her strange. She didn't feel much concern for labels or groups. She didn't think Thunderclan broke her leg, Skunkstripe did. She didn't know when it would turn on her. "Your secret is safe with me."

Tiabirb · #5 March 15th, 2024, 06:49 PM

Sweetsong
------------------

She sat beside Fallenwish, watching the drawing in the earth with a muted gaze. Her thoughts had wandered to Crowpaw; Was he alright? How was she going to tell him someone knew? Even if her secret was safe, it was only dreams, so why did it have to be a secret? Was she breaking the warrior code more?

"Birdsnow is angry with me," Sweetsong choked out. "I was...found talking to a lost kittypet a few weeks ago...I tried to talk reason; That there were ways to deal with trespassers without aggression...I was telling the kittypet that she wasn't supposed to be there...but..but then Fadingsun came upon us...saying we were in trouble..and then Birdsnow came..." Sweetsong huddled down into a ball, her paws over her eyes. "Wh-when she said...the two cats she had been considering making medicine cats...h-had disappointed her..." Sweetsong choked out another sob, "Sh-She was talking about m-me and Cobwebpaw...we were both there, just...talking to a stranger...for only a few breaths..."

"I made a mistake, and ruined my chances....what if Birdsnow finds out I am speaking to someone from ThunderClan? I-in my dreams? And so soon after the recent attack! What if she casts me out? Exiles me? At least if she kills me I can be where I belong...r-right?" Sweetsong turned an anguished gaze onto Fallenwish. "What if I'm just fooling myself? What if I'm not meant to be a medicine cat? I'm not perfect...I'm less a warrior than a rogue is a kittypet...maybe I should...maybe I should just be a kittypet..."

She dropped her face into her paws, sobbing softly. What could she do? Birdsnow's wrath was her own fault. Had she been a true warrior, she would have...she would have...hurt Melody. But why? What did she really do to deserve that? Cross an invisible boundary she wasn't aware of, an innocent mistake? Sweetsong felt sick at the idea of hurting someone who didn't deserve such a foul treatment. Did she really belong in such a vicious life? Did she really want to watch her friends and family be hurt because of pride and prejudice? No...but she knew the warrior code...and she couldn't just leave Crowpaw like that....

@hades.

**Aolani** · #6 March 18th, 2024, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiabirb

Sweetsong
------------------

She sat beside Fallenwish, watching the drawing in the earth with a muted gaze. Her thoughts had wandered to Crowpaw; Was he alright? How was she going to tell him someone knew? Even if her secret was safe, it was only dreams, so why did it have to be a secret? Was she breaking the warrior code more?

"Birdsnow is angry with me," Sweetsong choked out. "I was...found talking to a lost kittypet a few weeks ago...I tried to talk reason; That there were ways to deal with trespassers without aggression...I was telling the kittypet that she wasn't supposed to be there...but..but then Fadingsun came upon us...saying we were in trouble..and then Birdsnow came..." Sweetsong huddled down into a ball, her paws over her eyes. "Wh-when she said...the two cats she had been considering making medicine cats...h-had disappointed her..." Sweetsong choked out another sob, "Sh-She was talking about m-me and Cobwebpaw...we were both there, just...talking to a stranger...for only a few breaths..."

"I made a mistake, and ruined my chances....what if Birdsnow finds out I am speaking to someone from ThunderClan? I-in my dreams? And so soon after the recent attack! What if she casts me out? Exiles me? At least if she kills me I can be where I belong...r-right?" Sweetsong turned an anguished gaze onto Fallenwish. "What if I'm just fooling myself? What if I'm not meant to be a medicine cat? I'm not perfect...I'm less a warrior than a rogue is a kittypet...maybe I should...maybe I should just be a kittypet..."

She dropped her face into her paws, sobbing softly. What could she do? Birdsnow's wrath was her own fault. Had she been a true warrior, she would have...she would have...hurt Melody. But why? What did she really do to deserve that? Cross an invisible boundary she wasn't aware of, an innocent mistake? Sweetsong felt sick at the idea of hurting someone who didn't deserve such a foul treatment. Did she really belong in such a vicious life? Did she really want to watch her friends and family be hurt because of pride and prejudice? No...but she knew the warrior code...and she couldn't just leave Crowpaw like that....

@hades.

Fallenwish could have been there. she could have fixed it. She could have told Melody that it wasn't safe right off the bat, or at the very least take the blame. Why was she never there for her friends or family? Maybe that's why Poisonberry turned out to be the way she was. Maybe Fallenwish hadn't been nice enough.

Maybe it was someone else's fault. Maybe Queen Birdsnow was in the wrong. No, it was the queen! She was a good ruler. She was seeing things differently than her. "It was a single mistake. You still have your chances. If I were to become a medicine cat, you'd be my immediate choice of apprentice." Fallenwish tried. Maybe she wasn't good at supporting people, but there was no way she'd do nothing about this.

"How would she find out? Nobody could tell her about it, or, rather, I won't and I'm the only one in this clan that knows besides you, so I think you're good on that one." Fallenwish's only concern was Poisonberry- however, what did she care who got to be medicine cat?

Fallenwish glanced around, to make sure no one was hearing that.

"What? If Birdsnow killed or exiled you, I'd slap her to Thunderclan's camp. And you know how much I trust her right now." Fallenwish honestly did not know if she would be that angry, but she definitely would be angry.

"No. You can't become a kittypet- I- we need you here. I couldn't live here without you. I don't have many other friends." Was Fallenwish being a bad sister right now? Keeping the other from becoming happier for her own gain? She glanced down.

Tiabirb · #7 March 24th, 2024, 05:11 PM

Sweetsong
-------------

"I hope you're right, Fallen." Sweetsong murmured, though it was evident that the small pale ginger she-cat was not convinced. "I would...like to have some hope but..." Her voice trailed away, "I feel..confused."

Leaving RiverClan. The very idea made her stomach roil and her throat tighten. She loved her home...even if she didn't like the violence that ran rampantly from time to time. And she had cats here, who liked her, who wanted her to stay. That she wanted to be around for. Boulderpaw, Fallenwish, and Cobwebpaw all held a special place in her heart. Crowpaw too. It would be cruel of her to abandon them because of her fear.

"I don't know when she will calm down," Sweetsong replied after a moment. "She hasn't spoken to me since...and I don't want to upset her further..." Sweetsong shook her head, "You'd be a much better medicine cat than I would, Fallenwish. You are loyal to Birdsnow. She needs that more than she needs a cat whose heart is so...dangerously soft..."

@hades.

**Aolani** · #8 March 27th, 2024, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiabirb

Sweetsong
-------------

"I hope you're right, Fallen." Sweetsong murmured, though it was evident that the small pale ginger she-cat was not convinced. "I would...like to have some hope but..." Her voice trailed away, "I feel..confused."

Leaving RiverClan. The very idea made her stomach roil and her throat tighten. She loved her home...even if she didn't like the violence that ran rampantly from time to time. And she had cats here, who liked her, who wanted her to stay. That she wanted to be around for. Boulderpaw, Fallenwish, and Cobwebpaw all held a special place in her heart. Crowpaw too. It would be cruel of her to abandon them because of her fear.

"I don't know when she will calm down," Sweetsong replied after a moment. "She hasn't spoken to me since...and I don't want to upset her further..." Sweetsong shook her head, "You'd be a much better medicine cat than I would, Fallenwish. You are loyal to Birdsnow. She needs that more than she needs a cat whose heart is so...dangerously soft..."

@hades.

"I know I'm right." Fallenwish was terrified of even the consideration that Sweetsong had even a slight chance of leaving. Was that even her room to be scared? No, but she was sure Sweetsong wouldn't leave. That or she was lying to herself.

"You're Riverclan. I like that you don't want to fight. You're the only one here besides me and a few others that would choose peace over 'justice' or whatever." She tried. She wasn't doing well enough at it, though. She wasn't really good at that stuff. She just hoped it worked.

She just wished it would all fly away. She wanted to just be a normal warrior with Sweetsong to be with her forever. She wished Bumblestar had just kept her warriors out of the fight and just not have come at all. Thunderclanners were probably suffering, too. So was Riverclan. Nothing good came with battle.

"Oh, before we forget, we should probably get over to the river." Fallenwish noted lightheartedly. Maybe such shallow and stoic words would make the pain stop for a few seconds. Fallenwish began in the direction of the river.

"I'm pretty sure she just hasn't had anything to say to you." She hoped it was a hope for Sweetsong, but also something for her. Everything would be okay in a couple days. Not the same- her leg couldn't just go back. The memories would always be there, and vividly. But everything would eventually become normal.

Sweetsong's next words confused and, for some reason, angered her. She twitched incessantly for a few seconds. She couldn't be angry at Sweetsong for just saying something. "But you can connect with Starclan! I haven't even been in a dream with a dead cat! Except for recently, but for obvious reasons, that doesn't count. You know more herbs than I do. You're not dangerously soft! Would you stop saying that?" She never meant to sound a little angry, but there was a slight underlying tone to it. She thought for a second. "Besides, my name. Fallenwish. That could be destiny that I'll never be a medicine cat. I'd never know."

Tiabirb · #9 April 3rd, 2024, 10:59 AM

Sweetsong
------------------

"But you know how much I struggled with my apprenticeship, Fallenwish..." Sweetsong pouted. "I was held back so much because...because I just couldn't bring myself to hurt anyone...or anything." Sweetsong shook her head. "It was agony to make myself kill the last mouse...to hit as hard as I could. I just don't have it in me..."

"Justice...it's not justice. It's neverending cycle of anger and hate..." Sweetsong rose to her paws, trailing behind Fallenwish, "Justice would be to release the grudges created by generations, to shed the past and build a new future where the sins our our ancestors, their mistakes, don't haunt us with every pawstep. It is a hard concept for many...personal feelings overtake reason so..easily." She sighed, "But I fear the battles we fight are becoming...too personal. We were just assaulted...and the only option anyone is going to see is to fight...but for what? Pride we don't have? No, it's always about pride..."

Sweetsong frowned deeply, "It isn't hard to put yourself into another's paws...to think about...the why. Why are they angry. What can we do to stop the fighting? Pride kills...humility heals...or I hope it will one day..."

Sweetsong looked at Fallenwish, surprise showing. "I never said..I could connect with them. If they wish to speak to me, they will...but I cannot just..talk to them on my own...even though it's just another wish that falls past my grasp." She moved close and pressed her side against her sister's. "If I were a medicine cat, you'd be my first choice in successor."

@hades.

**Aolani** · #10 April 6th, 2024, 08:12 PM

Fallenwish closed her eyes for a second, then opened them again. She tried to understand what Sweetsong was thinking and succeeded. She knew who at least some of what she was saying was the fault of her snake of a sister.

Snake of a sister was the simplest way to put it. She didn't know what drove her to act so horrible to everyone and then try to get away with it through just speaking. What a skillful way with words wasted. What good did it bring? If that was a form of entertainment for Poisonberry, she didn't want anything to do with her.

"I know, I know." She sighed. "I just don't want to have you move away from me, but I don't want you to be sad." It was a stupid truth. If she really wanted Sweetsong to be happy, why didn't she just let her do what she wanted? If she was so selfish, why didn't she just keep her in Riverclan? She hated that it wasn't that simple.

Fallenwish listened to her sister's thoughts on justice. Fallenwish knew what she thought on justice and nothing could change her mind on it. Justice is Justice so long as it's justified. A lot of times it wasn't.

"Well, my issue with so-called justice is that it forces cats who had no control over what another cat has done." She frowned, coming to a stop as she found a river and crouched, the shadow of herself not casted upon the water.

"If it's hard to understand anger, than there are some times you might not understand me." She said. "It's okay to be angry if the only thing driving them to do anything is greed or something that will only cause pain." She meowed, spotting a gray fish coming down the stream.

She hovered her paw over the water, waiting for the right time to strike. Just as is came near, she slammed the fish into the side of the river.

"You know a lot more about Starclan than me, then." She said. "Same goes for you. I'd choose you as a medicine cat, if I was Starclan. Er- hopefully Starclan. If not Starclan, then Queen Birdsnow."

[ @Tiabirb - You can continue this is finish it up with your next post, but it's up to you ]