The grump huffed. If he were any other cat he might have been embarrassed to be scolded by the medicine cat. He wasn't any other cat though. He was Sharpclaw, and this abrasive tom didn't let the words of others get the better of him. Besides, he could tell she meant no harm by it.
Sharpclaw stayed quiet as the she-cat reassured Sunleap about his worries. He couldn't understand how the older tom could share his feelings so openly like that. It wasn't like Sharpclaw was afraid to, it was just that... it wasn't very... it didn't come naturally to him is all. He'd always been the quiet grump of his clan. Keeping to himself and snapping at whoever dared to talk to him. Don't get him wrong, he loved his clan just as much as anyone else. But...
Drizzlecloud tried prompting Sunleap into sharing some more, but it looked like the old tom had had enough already. Who's turn was it now? He looked around, waiting for some cat to start talking. Sharpclaw wasn't much of a talker, especially around large groups. He wasn't shy or anything, he just preferred to sit and listen most of the time. This time, though, he felt the need to say something, if Drizzlecloud would let him. The sandy tom cleared his throat. "I... would like to share somethin'..."
Plumkit wasn't listening to anything Cherrypaw and Springpaw were talking about. It all sounded so booooring! When were they gonna start playing? The lilac kitten wanted to do something fun already!
Image of my oc was created using Clangen Cat Maker
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"If I had more time, I would have written a shorter post~"
Last edited by Tecumori; August 17th, 2023 at 07:49 PM.
Her gaze shifted to the group, mulling over the list of cats in her head… She had a certain order of which cat was to go after which, but seeing as the next cat hadn’t stepped up yet, she would have to call on them. No issue, of course. As she opened her mouth to speak the name of the next cat, someone else had asked to speak–Sharpclaw, much to her own surprise.
A pleasant one, though.
The blue-grey spotted tabby tilted her head, peering at the warrior with slightly widened, surprised eyes. She didn’t voice that shock of hers, but it was quite clearly written on her face. “Of course! Whatever you wish to say, you may speak as you’d please.”As long as it’s not inconsiderate to anyone else sitting here, she added on, mentally.
Drizzlecloud was half prepared to hear some huffy remark from the grumpy young warrior, but she was also hoping that he would actually open up a little–that was the point of all of this, after all!
• Springpaw •
long-furred, oriental-shaped, gray-and-orange calico molly with blue eyes; torn right ear
Purrks: Herbal Knowledge - Tier 1 | The Collector [active] | Mind Reader [active]
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Courage, huh? Springpaw’s lips pursed themselves into a frown the more that she listened to the young calico right in front of her, her mind nimbly confronting herself with the words that had begun to climb up her throat. Springpaw could feel herself easily sympathizing with the other molly, feeling as if they were one of the same just from the fact that the calico could easily feel the same. When she had been much younger, at least approximately six moons old. It wasn’t hard for the calico to remember when she had just emerged from being in the safer depths of the nursery back at the old camp. A pitiful feeling of heartache swarmed its way into her heart, her curled lips forcefully curling upwards as she listened silently to the young tortoiseshell in front of her, a glint of warmth eliminating in her oceanic blue eyes. “Well, hopefully when you speak to your mentor, they will actually start training you. I know the feeling of not having a lot of courage… it’s hard to deal with when you feel like a letdown to a lot of cats, you know? They look like they are doing their own thing, and when you bud in, it feels like you are ruining it. It just takes time to work on that confidence. I may not have much myself, but speaking from experience from lacking the courage that I need, I know that you’ll gain some eventually… it just takes time and patience to do so,” Springpaw explained, locking her oceanic hues with Cherrypaw’s jade-green for a split second just to make sure that her message pulled through to the young molly.
It was rather true at most, Springpaw was utterly a coward when she was littler, and she hated to admit it sometimes. But… it was better to speak up about the truth than not. If she didn’t speak up about her own personal opinions, then what was the entire point of this therapist conversation? Who knows, maybe Cherrypaw may learn a thing or two from her little spew. But, to pass onto that… who was next? Surveying her little group of cats, her blue eyes landed onto another tortoiseshell figure; one in particular that Springpaw didn’t necessarily know all-too-well other than the fact that she had been in the nursery for quite some time before she became an official apprentice. “Fireflypaw,” Springpaw glanced at the timid apprentice’s direction, her eyes twinkling with inquiry. “Would you like to go next and say what’s on your mind?”
He had quietly hoped Drizzlecloud would reject his request. Tell him to shut up and wait his turn like his mentor might have said if she were here. Instead, she looked at him with wide eyes, tilting her spotted head like a befuddled owl. Couldn't blame her for acting surprised. He was surprised himself!
Her words were kind, however, warm and inviting unlike most cats he had spoken with. It made him want to open up to her. To say whatever it was that was plaguing him, though he himself didn't know yet. He just wanted to be anything but quiet at the moment. Wanted to make a different impression besides the usual quiet grump he was. The one who was no good at making light conversation save for an occasional snide remark followed by low growls and mutterings. He wanted that all to change, and what better time than now with many of his clanmates here to witness his change of face?
Many... many clanmates. As he swept his eyes around the circle of cats his mind grew blank, and his throat dry. His words... didn't seem to want to come out. Or more likely, he just couldn't find them in that empty head of his. Was this fear?
No.
Sharpclaw was never scared, especially not of his own clanmates. But as he eyed the group of cats once more, a nagging voice chewed its way into his thoughts. Whispering grim things similar to what Hailstorm had used to say to him. Telling him, convincing him, that these cats could not be trusted. That they would use whatever he'd say at that moment against him. To hurt him. Everyone had something to hide and for very good reason, she'd say. If he exposed himself to these cats now it would surely come back to bite him.
Oh, how stupid he was; almost revealing his weaknesses like that! Of course, he wasn't scared. He was being cautious! Rightfully so, too. Sharpclaw tightened his jaw and drew his eyes back over Drizzlecloud. He lost himself for a moment in her eyes. False eyes. Feigning kindness so that he may fall victim to her trap like a fly in a web. Well, he wouldn't fall for it. He was smarter than these spiders.
"Never mind," He rose, white paws turning to carry him away from the group. "I don't got nothin' worth sayin' anyways." With a sour huff, he sauntered away, proudly convinced he had just saved himself from both embarrassment and dangerous exposure. As he left, he imagined Hailstorm nodding her head in approval from StarClan.
(Lol Sike! Sorry this took so long though ~ ) @Omari
Image of my oc was created using Clangen Cat Maker
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"If I had more time, I would have written a shorter post~"
Last edited by Tecumori; August 28th, 2023 at 12:10 PM.
Oop?? Alderstep turned his head to watch Sharpclaw go, thoroughly both surprised and unsurprised. Well, what more could he have expected from his top contender for thorny bee-stung losers? When he'd watched the younger warrior go, he'd straightened up to peer over some cats' heads, but he now slumped over again.
Nice time to ponder on what Sunleap had said, while he waited for whoever was next to speak up. He supposed he didn't want to see any of his clanmates die, either. That was most unfavorable, and even though he was wording his thoughts detachedly, Alderstep did wonder if he had many more cats in his life to personally lose. He looked over at his sister, eyes boring into their russet pelt for a moment or two until he looked back at Drizzlecloud.
Sharpclaw had said some things, too. About this being a waste of time. Alderstep didn't know if that was true. Maybe it was. His claws itched to do something, and his thoughts kept straying elsewhere. When would ShadowClan make their next move? Was disaster on the horizon, again? How would the clan manage? And was he powerless to do anything helpful? Stars, that sounded bleak. And depressing. Worst comes to worst, somebody dies. Boohoo, it'd also be his fault. Actually, that sounded pretty bad.
Time to move on from his doomsday thinking, though. What next to be said, what next to fixate on? This was surprisingly distracting, to analyze what others said and think about what his own opinion was.
She kind of didn't know what to do while Cherrypaw talked, considering she was too young to be helpful at all, and not exactly mentally stable enough to even attempt to comfort or advise, so Fireflypaw shuffled her paws, looking down and shamelessly getting lost in her head until her name being spoken jarred her back to focus. Oh. It was her turn. Yellow eyes drifting over the crowds of cats around her until she located her mentor, Alderstep, taking comfort in knowing that he was nearby, Fireflypaw nodded slowly in response to Springpaw's offer.
"Uh.... I don't really know if I'm going to do this right so, if you d-don't m-mind too m-much, stop m-me if I do it w-wrong or anything, p-please." Pausing to try to gather herself, she sniffed softly, pressing her paws into the ground- hard -to prevent them from shaking. "I-I'm scared a lot." The confession rattled her slightly, she had never really vocalized it before, and she paused before continuing. "I'm scared of being abandoned, and I'm scared of loud noises sometimes. A-and.... um.... I'm scared of the nursery, I guess." Her face warmed, and she was sure that it was beet red, and the tortie almost stopped, but the words came out about as easily as eating rocks.
"When I was a kit, I think I was u-um.... like 2 moons... I woke up a-and this lady in the nest near me, Redfur-" The name was spoken softly, like if she said it louder, the ghost of the queen would come and tear her apart for not doing something to help. "-Redfur was um... having kits, and Roser- um.... it went wrong, and one of the kits died and there was a lot of blood and stuff a-and the second kit wasn't doing okay, so Ro- the um.... helper tried to help the kit breathe but it didn't work and t-the..." Tears sprang into her eyes, and the next words came out very faint, only the cats closest would be able to hear. "the kit cracked. Then Redfur um... she died too, and I went over after the helper left a-and I tried to wake them up. I didn't understand. There was just lots of b-b-blood."
Maybe she shouldn't have shared that much, but it felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders, and she looked down, breathless. "I was too scared to go in the nursery... after, so I was sleeping outside the warrior's den, but it was really cold a lot. I can sleep in the apprentice's den now, I just have nightmares. But not as much." She finished hastily, apologetically glancing over at Springpaw. God, she talked a lot. She just hoped no one thought that she was dumb or noticed her sidestepping naming Roseraven. Roseraven was the sister of her adoptive kin, and she didn't want to risk scaring Asterdance away or making them leave her. She didn't want to lose her only family.
"D-do you know if they'll stop? The uh... nightmares? And being scared? Or is it always going to be like this?" She didn't want to always be afraid. How was she supposed to live like that? She just wanted to be normal. And yeah, Asterdance said that normal was overrated... but she was just so tired of being afraid. Of being so... weird.