Sometimes All I Think About is You [p]

[Dark]

Fishfreckle

Go With the Flow | Silver Tongue (T1) [Perm] | Mind Reader [Perm]
___________

Medicinecatapprenticepaw had told him that he was permitted to go to the gathering as long as he had someone to look over him. He hated that idea. The only one that he would permit to accompany him (keep in mind, not watch him like a hawk) would be Larkwing. So initially he was going to ask her if she wouldn’t mind coming along with him, but then he got to thinking. Was inviting her along really such a great idea? She didn’t exactly have a great track record with the other clans, and he could only imagine how Bumblebrat would react to her presence there.

So what was he to do about this?

Well, he’d lie of course!

Now don’t get him wrong, Fishfreckle wasn’t fond of lying to Larkwing, but… he wanted to attend this gathering, and he wasn’t going to drag the poor former leader along with him when she’d definitely be far out of her comfort zone. They hadn’t been reunited for too too long, but he had a duty to protect her from all that may harm her and out of the kindness of his heart, he was going to extend that to her mental wellbeing as well. Honestly, she should thank him for this.

Seeking the pretty tortoishell out– wait, pretty? No no no no, that was simply Larkwing, he needed to put those thoughts down. Anyways, where was he…? Oh right! Seeking out the tortoiseshell warrior, he found her within the clearing. Tail held high with confidence, he approached her (slightly unsteadily but shhh) and offered a gentle twitch of his lips in what he would call a “smile”.

”Larkwing,” Fishfreckle called gently ”I’m getting ready to head to the gathering, I wanted to let you know before we leave.” A simple greeting that got straight to the point. He couldn’t afford any room for error and needed to keep up his usual confidence and swagger so that she didn’t suspect anything. For some reason, the feeling of being about to lie to her rubbed him the wrong way, squeezed his heart within his chest. He hated it. He hated all of it, but it was a necessary endeavor – he just… he couldn’t leave without saying anything. Not again.

Not ever.

[ @Neptune. ]

[Neptune.]

Larkwing
~<>~
26 moons || she/her || RC Warrior || Kitty Softpaws, Mind Reader, Killer Aptitude T2
scarred, scrawny dilute tortoiseshell; green eyes

It was one of the few times Larkwing had allowed herself away from her self-imposed charge, and not because she was preparing to leave to the gathering... on the contrary, actually, she was preparing herself to stay behind. She'd hardly missed a single gathering RiverClan had attended since her apprentice days, but now? She couldn't show her face there... she could still barely show her face in her own camp, but if the other leaders saw her in the crowd? That might cause more trouble for RiverClan then it was worth. Better to avoid all that.

The call of her name got her attention, and the tortoiseshell quickly turned her head to look in the direction it had come from. Making his way over was Fishfreckle, and Lark couldn't help but blink in surprise. Was he cleared to wander around alone? Wouldn't Berrypaw have told her he was in that case? But... he says he's cleared to go. And Larkwing can't think of a reason he would lie about that (actually, she can think of several, but she doesn't want to believe he'd lie to her, so she doesn't read into his words).

"Alright..." she says, and she hates that she can't sound anything but mildly concerned. She expected the other clans to be civil, but that was as far as her expectations extended... if she went with him... no. No, she couldn't go. Her presence would cause problems she didn't want to deal with. Maybe in the future she would go to another gathering... but not for a long time. She'd stay and watch camp. Maybe so some fishing. "I'm.. not going. Ever, I don't think. My being there could... cause problems, I think," she ducks her head, unwilling and unable to meet Fishfreckle's eyes. "You'll be okay?" He was stronger than he'd been before, but not by a whole lot, so forgive her for worrying. He was perhaps the last friend she had in her Clan, she didn't want him doing something that might make his condition worse.

[ @Dark ]

[Dark]

Fishfreckle

Go With the Flow | Silver Tongue (T1) [Perm] | Mind Reader [Perm]
___________

In a way he had been expecting it – the reluctance to let him leave. What he had not been expecting was the wave of feelings that came crashing over him when he heard the sound of Larkwing’s voice. The former leader sounded… concerned. You’d think with her constant fussing over him since they were reunited that he would be used to this by now, but… something about this time was different. Something about this time felt like he was being punched in the gut.

He didn’t like it.

Fishfreckle didn’t know what to describe this unfamiliar feeling as, but it vaguely reminded him of when he heard about Minkpaw’s death, and then the betrayel he felt when Cherryswirl returned and then subsequently disappeared again. It hurt. Was this was sadness felt like? Or perhaps a feeling of sorrow? He wasn’t quite sure, and probably wouldn’t be, but he refused to acknowledge that right now. There was something about Larkwing that just made him… feel. Sometimes it was a nice warm and fuzzy feeling, and then there was times like this where it was a tumultuous cascade of uncertainty and anxiety.

’Dammit Larkwing… what are you doing to me?’ He questioned inwardly.

The following words were once more similar to what he expected. Her lack of attendance at the gathering came by no surprise. Ever since the tortoiseshell returned, she had been a husk of her former self. No longer did she have a fire lit behind her eyes. At times it was like he could catch a small spark, but it was a far cry from her past behavior. She’d been unusually demure as of late and for the first time in his life, he had the urge to protect something other than the clan in which they were born – her avoiding his gaze and ducking her head down only intensified this feeling.

Quietly, he padded closer to her so that he was standing right in front of her. Leaning forward, he touched his forehead to hers, replicating the move he’d done when he finally reached the mountain camp. ”I’ll be okay,” He said in an uncharacteristic, gentle purr. ”I’ll come back to you, I promise.”

There he went again, making silly promises. He didn’t know what would happen at the gathering, for all he knew, the other three clans could be waiting to ambush them and finish them off once and for all. A part of him held faith that things would run smoothly though. So many odd changes had been occurring within him because of this one she-cat, but if he was being honest, he couldn’t say that it was a bad thing. He had lied about being cleared to go, and he stretched the truth when he told her that he would be okay, but on this? On whether or not he would return? He would make sure that that wasn’t a lie. The stars themselves couldn’t prevent him from fulfilling his promise. He would come back.

He would come back to her.

[ @Neptune. ]

[Neptune.]

Larkwing
~<>~
26 moons || she/her || RC Warrior || Kitty Softpaws, Mind Reader, Killer Aptitude T2
scarred, scrawny dilute tortoiseshell; green eyes

I'll come back to you... How often had that promise been made to her, and how often has she been made to wait, not knowing when the one in question would be back, not knowing if they had broken their promise or not? At least once already with this particular cat. The scared, paranoid part of her that had been broken before didn't want to believe him, didn't think it could believe him, but... Fishfreckle deserved more credit than that. She could give him more.

"I believe you," she tells him, because she has to, because she doesn't have a choice, because if she doesn't say it out loud, she's worried that her brain will convince her otherwise as it has a habit of doing. It's strange how much comfort she's leeching from him, it's not something she ever thought might be possible, and it's familiar in a way, while also being different. The last time she could recall feeling this at ease was moons ago, and that had been before Finchfluff had shown his true pelt. After him she'd been on constant edge... and then there had been Leo, a cat who she might've gotten to this point with, but that river had long dried up. How odd she felt comfort from Fishfreckle of all cats now.

Larkwing isn't an idiot, she's well aware what the twisting in her gut means... but that doesn't mean she has to acknowledge it. That doesn't mean she has to act on it. That doesn't mean it's in any way reciprocated. And if she were to act on it? Who's to say she wouldn't just scare Fish away? Who's to say she wouldn't ruin whatever progress of friendship they've made? So she'll be quiet. She'll ignore the way she seeks him out first in a crowd. She'll ignore the way her day gets better when he's just nearby. She'll ignore the way she can't help but worry over his well being, especially when he doesn't seem like he could care one way or the other for himself.

"I'll do some fishing while you're gone. Tell me anything important when you get back?" She knows she doesn't have to ask, not really, but she can't help but make sure.

The eyes are strangely absent right now...

[ teehee ]
[ @Dark ]

[Dark]

Fishfreckle

Go With the Flow | Silver Tongue (T1) [Perm] | Mind Reader [Perm]
___________

”I believe you.”

The second those words left her mouth, it felt as though his heart had been ripped out of his chest. She didn’t ask anything of him other than if he would be okay, and to let her know if anything of importance occurred. She didn’t question the validity of his claims, nor did she insist upon asking Berypaw. She trusted him.

And it hurt.

A lot.

Never before had he had someone put this much faith in him, or believed in him the way Larkwing did him. That made the lying all the more painful. He was uncertain about his return, he was uncertain about whether or not he’d be okay, and Berypaw sure as hell didn’t say he could go without an overseer. Generally he had no issue lying and scheming in order to get what he wanted or help accomplish his goals, but this? Lying to Larkwing left him breathless. For the first time in his life he wasn’t sure about the choice he was making. He opened his mouth to say something but hesitated before closing it again. He didn’t like this. He didn’t want to lie to her. It felt wrong. So very wrong.

”Yes,” He said softly, ”I’ll let you know.” He’d tell the truth about this. If anything of importance occurred, he’d let her know. He would return, and he would see her again. He didn’t know when it started, or why, but the she-cat made him feel… better. The hole that he’d felt within his chest when she and Cherryswirl disappeared was now filled — at least partly whenever he was around her. Whenever he smelled her scent or heard her voice, he felt calmer. He felt at home.

In an uncharacteristic moment of softness, Fishfreckle angled his face so that he could nuzzle the former leader’s cheek. For a moment he didn’t pull away. He couldn’t. Something was drawing him to her as if she were a magnet, and dragging himself away from her pull felt wrong. So he didn’t. A small purr escaped him as he did the gesture. This was… nice.

”Be careful on your hunt, Larkwing. Wait for me, okay? I’ll be back home soon.” The small-framed tom said, gently licking her cheek before pulling away. It was time to go now, and he feared if he stayed with her a moment longer, he wouldn’t find the courage to leave. Hesitated for a moment, he stared at her. She was… beautiful. He didn’t try to fight it this time, it was a simple fact and he had no issue admitting such to himself.

A gentle smile graced his lips as he turned, pausing for a moment. ”I miss your smile,” He said softly, just loud enough for her to hear if she were paying attention ”I think it’d go well with a beautiful night like this.” And with that he began to walk away. Not too fast, lingering a moment in case she had something else to say, but he was indeed heading in the direction of the entrance of the camp.

[ @Neptune. My turn teehee]

[Neptune.]

Larkwing
~<>~
26 moons || she/her || RC Warrior || Kitty Softpaws, Mind Reader, Killer Aptitude T2
scarred, scrawny dilute tortoiseshell; green eyes

How odd this softer side of Fishfreckle was. This warrior who was far more bark than he was bite, this warrior who once had made her want to claw her own eyes out from frustration. This warrior who was her friend. Who she had granted his name. Fishfreckle was something of a point of pride for Larkwing, like the mark of her time as RiverClan’s leader, her one great contribution… though don’t tell him she thinks that way, it’s a little embarrassing. It's... different to her, new and strange and alien. But it's also nice. Like a wave of comfort she hadn't felt in... stars, more than a year now? Almost? Definitely since before she'd become deputy.

Theres a few moments after Fish makes contact, bunting his forehead against her own, where she can't think of anything else to say, overwhelmed by the warmth the simple action causes to spread through her veins and permeate her bones.

"I'll wait for you," she says, but that goes without saying. Of course she'd wait for him, she always would.

...she always would? When had she started thinking like that?

[ @Dark - late oopsies ]