✱ ═
Poppysong ═ ✱
═
windclan warrior║
nb/demigirl they/them║
22 moons ═
tags; [Lightningstorm]
✱
Poppysong can’t look up. They can feel the medicine cat’s eyes burning into them and they know if they return a look they won’t be able to take it. Her silence is deafening.
A fool. Poopysong supposes that is an accurate way to describe themself. A coward likely fits even better. They, too, are glad this didn’t hurt anyone else. At least- not telling others didn’t. Hawkfur did have a cough, and they’re not sure if they ever got it looked at…
Lightningstorm sighs, and Poppysong flinches back. Their form is suddenly larger thanks to their fur puffing up, which blocks a lot of the light coming into the den. Making the den smaller. This den has always felt small, like a cage or prison, and just as cold. Poppysong shivers. Maybe that’s just because it was at some point, at least for Poppysong’s mother. This was her prison. For so long, she was never was able to watch Poppysong become an a warrior. But at least they were well taken care of here. By… Cowtuft.
A rotting hole of guilt forms in their chest. Poppysong bites their tongue and can feel a prick of metallic blood drip down into their throat. The last time Poppysong saw Cowtuft was after that argument. ‘
The argument I started,’ Poppysong thinks.
Poppysong’s inner monologue is broken by Lightningstorm speaking up. They can’t do anything. Poppysong was too late.
That hole in their chest grows to encapsulate their lungs, sucking the air out of them and stealing their ability to breathe. The pain from their leg. Will it stop them from protecting the camp? What if there’s danger? An attack? Poppysong would disappoint them all. And it would end in them all getting hurt.
No, no accomplices, why would they? This was a burden Poppysong was supposed to deal with alone. It was supposed to be a valiantly carried burden until it went away and it was all fine. At least, that’s what Poppysong told themself. It was, and is, a lie. This will be a punishment, no longer carried valiantly but with shame.
Poppysong wonders if they should have told Softsong how bad it truly got. Their mentor wouldn’t have been punished- right? Surely, Lightningstorm isn’t so cruel?
No. Lightningstorm reassures them they aren’t as uncaring as other clanmates. Without thought, Poppysong relaxes.
”Thank you…”
But Poppysong thinks on it for longer. No, not every clanmate is an arse. But Lightningstorm isn’t that far off, and it makes their fur itch.
How much pain.
”Oh, uhm…” Poppysong mumbles. They have gotten in the habit of putting as little pressure on it as possible, so they’re not quite sure.
Before their paw brushes against the den floor Poppysong winces as if in pain on instinct. The paw hovers there for a moment before thwy set it down. It’s less pain that they imagined, even as it throbs Poppysong imagines they could fight with it if they needed. The hole in their chest glimmers with hope-
”Not… that bad…” They begin, surprised.
Until they move their paw, that is. When the twist it to the side to adjust their balance, they have to bite their tongue not to hiss.
”It’s…” Poppysong pauses. No, they don’t want to lie. They’re too
tired to lie.
”It’s fine to stand, not to twist it to the side like that.”
As Poppysong awaits an answer, they force themself to make eye contact with the medicine cat. Their own emerald eyes are dull and blurred from tears, so they don’t dare to blink.