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Old April 24th, 2024, 06:48 AM
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Marigoldwhisper Marigoldwhisper is offline
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Default Re: foggy dreams and bone deep guilt [p]

 
Quote:
Originally Posted by alec View Post
( @Marigoldwhisper )

minkpaw resisted the urge to reach out again, instead averting her eyes with a slight turn of her head, and couldnt do anything but listen to the kit sob for what felt like forever. she had opened her maw to reply but no words found their way out, all the thoughts and feelings rushing through her head far beyond what she could ever express with words alone.
"im sorry" they finally repeated quietly, helpless to do much more than focus on the words she had already said until her mind stopped racing, "i dont think i could express why exactly, but i cant bear to stay in riverclan any longer. its.." minkpaw tried the more matter of fact route, it had always been easy to rely on the facts when emotions got the best of her and now it was simply the least painful option. "its not because of you. if i could i wouldve stayed, begged fadingsun to be allowed to train you and give you a apprenticehood worth remembering but i cant give you any of that. even if i stayed i couldnt have." minkpaw inhaled shakily, "im going to join shadowclan" now it was out. she had revealed the biggest betrayal of this whole situation and even though she was speaking to a kit far younger than herself she couldnt help but lower her gaze in fearful anticipation of the reaction she was about to witness.



Marigoldkit
She\Kit\RC
"Keep your head up! You need to look at the world around you!"

· · ─────── ·· ─────── ·

The small cat curled up into a tight ball, her paws still secure on her head. She would've pressed up against Minkpaw to gain some warmth, but her fur had become cold and bitting just as the fog as well as a new prickly sting of betrayal.

She had stopped her crying, but her eyes still burned and tears were still filling her pinned ears. She felt groggily, her head hurt, her ears hurt, her teeth hurt from clenching them so much. It was truly a nightmare to hear what she just heard. A part of her hoped, prayed, that this was actually a dream. A really horrible good for nothing dream. But it wasn't... She knew this kind of thing was possible and right now she really wished it wasn't. She could handle bad dreams because they're gone when you wake. But reality? No. She'd always have to live with that.

Buds of unopened excitement wilted inside her as Minkpaw expressed her want to apprentice her despite how much she apparently disliked Riverclan. She hadn't even known Minkpaw had such big plans for her, which made all this stuff feel even more soul crushing like a different reality just got stolen straight from her paws. Marigoldkit hadn't even thought she'd be worth apprenticing. She honestly thought she'd be too ill or boney to do anything but stay a kit for the rest of her life. But Minkpaw had faith in her. Regardless of how lost Marigoldkit felt about the whole situation, she still knew that the very same faith continued to ring true for Minkpaw.

She mustered up a small smile in substitute for a thank you. It's not like she could see it anyways...

What was said next didn't leave her with the same sense of betrayal only confusion. Why Shadowclan? Then again, why any clan? She still wasn't sure why Minkpaw couldn't just stay with her. Things would be so much easier! She'd be happy, they'd all be happy. Marigoldkit was obviously missing something and she had yet to know what.

She didn't push the question though. She already tried that and she failed at enforcing her need for closure due to the spring of emotion that shot through her. Instead she asked, "Why Shadowclan? And... Who the heck is Fadingsun? What do they have to do with---" Marigoldkit's face twisted up into a frustrated scowl as she scanned this dreary place, "Any of this!?"

She didn't mean to get angry. She really really didn't. But that sadness, all those tears boiled up from inside her. She wanted to rip something to shreds, she wanted her claw her own face off. She wanted to do anything, anything other than yell at Minkpaw. They didn't deserve it, neither of them did. Minkpaw was just as devastated about this situation and yet Marigoldkit couldn't seem to be logical in this moment. Her fur bristled as her anger grew.
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