[sleepyyjax]

Seapaw
he/they - 9 moons - Go with the flow

They were both stuck in training limbo - what was up with that!? But Salamanderpaw's plan sounded good so far. He needed to start doing what she was doing, rounding up trainers around the clan. Not that it was working exactly, but it was probably better than moping in here all day... Though they weren't sure about swinging Amberflame by her ears - and - a future lionheart?? Them?! They had to hold back a giggle at the idea, but he didn't say anything. It'd only be rude to meet their sister's comfort with some 'meeeee a lionheart no no never' stuff. "That sounds good," He nodded with a small smile. "If I get anyone, I'll try to send them your way, too."

Silence again. Until Salamanderpaw speaks. And she's right. They can't miss her forever. Tinytoad. He wasn't sure quite how to remember her without missing her, without missing those hazy memories of the mountain camp, their time there before she went missing, when the clan was briefly safe, tucked away from the others. Without missing the simple idea of their first camp, a place he couldn't even remember, but a place where they were with her, and safe for a time. But he had to find ways, they both had to. Never missing anyone almost felt like a long stretch, but, it made sense. Surely all this missing wasn't making them feel great, making them feel sick, and if they could simply do away with it, they'd feel a lot better. And if cats kept coming and going as they did, he'd be forever missing at least one cat. Even Catfishwhisker stayed with him a little - a cat they'd spoken too only once. Was clan life just like this?

And back to Tinytoad. Was she really away, coddling some other kits? Better ones? It was definitely a better outcome than some of the others on the table. And when he got angry, he found the sicky feeling felt a little less. But anger was something he often found hard to hold onto, it would quickly pass into something else: missing, or fear, or sickliness. At least for now. Maybe someday, something would stir him. But that day didn't seem near - for better, or for worse.

Bonk! - Nothing like a headbutt to bring them out of their thoughts. Who cared about all those thoughts? As Salamanderpaw said, she's here. Seapaw's here. That's all that had to matter. And it's true. All this worrying and missing, all this making things matter - it was making him sickly, making him feel weird. And that's not a way they wanted to feel, especially when their sister, who's far from missing, was right there.

The 'paw gave a little head shake. "If I ever do something as silly as that, you better!" Perhaps clan life wasn't easy, but he couldn't imagine abandoning everyone, abandoning Salamanderpaw, for that matter. Even if it wasn't his choice, he'd run, or he'd swim away from any trouble. Maybe that was a matter of his own cowardice, as opposed to loyalty. He worried a little, with Salamanderpaw being the big strong sibling, just how much she'd have to fight when they became warriors. "Also... When you're a big strong Lionheart. Don't go getting hurt, promise?" That was a ridiculous promise to ask for, they knew that - what warrior didn't get hurt? But, the question sentence made its way out their mouth before they could stop it. "Or. Don't get hurt too much. Or be extra super careful, maybe." They added, the sentence becoming more and more jumbled, far less coherent.

@nyme