[sleepyyjax]

 

Originally Posted by nyme

WE'LL BUILD A FIRE IN YOUR EYES

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ! ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

SALAMANDERPAW . 10 MOONS . SHE/HER . RIVERCLAN

"You, too. Was worried someone ate you or something." She stops her craning, eventually satisfied that no immediate threat is going to jump out at the both of them. More than anything, Salamanderpaw wants to urge her littermate to his feet and coax him back home, beg a Lionheart to take them, just get them both out of here, but that would look weak. That would look like running. So she leaves Seapaw be and just slouches beside them, plume tail twitching erratically.

"Everyone's gonna start being mad at us again. 'Cause we keep...hhhffff." Salamanderpaw won't do it. She will not blame Riverclan for this. Cobwebstorm must have had a very good reason. Greyowl and Morningpaw, too. Riverclan's cats are good cats and she refuses to believe anything else. Salamanderpaw just doesn't understand why their reasons had to be for doing things that would jeopardize them all like this. Don't her clanmates think about the position they're all in? The one they've been in since returning from the mountains? Doesn't all that fear and all that anger, the understanding that the ice they sit on is still whisker-thin, twitch to life in their minds when they wake and settle heavy in their chest when they go to sleep? She'd forgotten it once since coming back. One time. Then a clanmate had to pay the price for her to remember. None of us act alone. We are all the paws and eyes and teeth of the same animal, and when we keep striking out the way we are, no wonder they see us as a monster.

So maybe it doesn't even matter if the reasons were good; hadn't her reason, back at Smallpines, felt like a good one? A reason is intangible. Consequences are real. And you don't get to suffer those alone when you live like us.

"Windclan, 'cause Greyowl and Morningpaw. Thunderclan, 'cause Cobwebstorm." And maybe it's not just that—surely the weight of so much recent loss was bothering Bumblestar and that just made everything worse for everyone—but that's evidently all it takes right now to put them at odds, so that's all that should matter to Riverclan. The consequence, not the reason. "Shadowclan probably couldn't care less but at this rate I'm sure they'd jump at the chance to stretch their legs if Windclan and Thunderclan invited them on another raid. We should just close all our borders. Make it so that nobody leaves camp alone, if that's what it takes." It doesn't fix the real problem...but Salamanderpaw doesn't know what that problem even is. Why this stuff just happens to them. And anyway, that solution wouldn't have helped for either of the things they're under scrutiny for now. Greyowl and Morningpaw worked together. Cobwebstorm technically never left camp. How even does it work, visiting a dream? Do all medicine cats know how to do that? Urgh, her head hurts...but if Salamanderpaw knows anything at all, it's that she isn't a smart cat. She has to believe that a smart cat will know what to do about all of this.

"I don't know if I ever wanna go to another Gathering after this. I said some really bad stuff to a Thunderclan apprentice. Worse than what I said to Slugpaw that one time." She admits quietly, staring forward while she tilts her head and presses the top against Seapaw's shoulder. "But I'll keep coming if you do. If you want to, I mean." If the truce broke one day and Seapaw was here and she wasn't, Salamanderpaw would never forgive herself. She leans away now, no longer nudging them. "Did you look for rocks with the others? I found some cool ones but I gave them to Redsurge...but there's still some cool ones out there."

Thunderclan's declining the invitation to reestablish their connection to Starclan. She's in begrudging agreement...but she understands why it might be a good move for Owlstar to try and dig a tunnel to the stars again. They should try ingratiating themselves to somebody. Maybe then Owlstar would get another life or two for a job well done.

"'N do you think they'd let us help pry Starclan out of some old rocks? I bet the pebbles over there are crazy."

@sleepyyjax ; SEAPAW

Seapaw
he/they - 9 moons - Go with the flow

Worried someone ate him?! Well, it almost felt like that'd happened, so maybe it wasn't so far from the truth. But they figured it'd be a lot scarier if cats were actually trying to eat them - erugh. It reminded him of that kit-tale of ShadowClan eating kits... Well, he'd never seen it disproven, but... They had to nip their imagination in the bud - quick. They were already scared, not was not the time to start thinking about silly scary stories. He glanced around, trying to tell if ShadowClan was near, but they honestly couldn't tell. It took them a second to clue into what Salamanderpaw was saying, her voice pulling him out of his daydream - well - nightmare.

It definitely looked like the clans were getting mad at them. Maybe it was his spiral into scary stories, but Slamanderpaw's idea about ShadowClan made sense. They didn't know much about ShadowClan at all, but that only made them scarier. Closing the borders would be easier. So much easier. Then they'd never have to risk fighting. They could just leave the other clans alone, and none of this stuff would happen. It actually sounded like a good plan - why didn't Owlstar do that? They knew it would be over the top. They knew Owlstar couldn't really do that, but if only.

Salamanderpaw didn't want to go to anymore gatherings. Her didn't want to either. But something kept him coming back. Maybe, he thought, if he saw the other clans enough, everything would make more sense? Why they're always fighting? Why RiverClan's always in trouble? They supposed they were getting their answers. Not the ones they wanted, though.
It was all because RiverClan kept being bad. It had to be. They keep doing bad things. Stromstar did something to someone, they still didn't know what. Fadingstar was bad enough to be chased away. Now Cobwebstorm was doing something strange. Was it something bad? He didn't know. And then what about the cats before them?? No one had ever told him. He hoped someone would appear and tell him, but that never happened. The 'paw blinked, remembering where he was, trying not to let his thoughts consume him again. Salamanderpaw as mean to another ThunderClan cat. But he hadn't met this cat. Slugpaw was very nice, but that didn't mean he trusted all of ThunderClan. "Did they deserve it?" He tilted his head as he asked, hoping for a yes, or even a maybe. Salamnderpaw wasn't bad. Maybe she was mean to Slugpaw that one time, but so was he. A little meanness wasn't the same as the stuff all those other cats did. Even if she said no, he'd find a way to excuse it.

"Maybe we don't need to come here again." He shook his head. Nothing good was coming out of it. Plus they didn't even get to look for rocks! "No... I got uh..." They paused to think, wondering if there was a way to phrase this without showing quite how silly they'd been, "I got a little swamped in the crowd." He let out a sigh.
Hmm, the Starcave... He never thought he'd even get the chance to visit it, but maybe with all this going on her could see it! "Mhhm, I bet the pebbles there are way better," they smiled cheering up a bit. "and I bet there're some nice ones in camp, if we can't go."


[sorry if this is all over the place, super tired !! :') ]