[Estelle]

Sleepysunrise
[ 12* moons | She / Her | Shc Enforcer | Shadow Fiend ]



[ Month old LarkDeat reaction post - pay no heed | possible CW for distress ]

Soft growls filled her ears between suppressed hiccups. Breath heaving in and out of the other's body brought a soft lull to her head; Sleepysunrise's own muscles remained stressed, paws gripping the ground for dear life. A part of her screamed. Yanked at her mind and body to step back and toughen up; an enforcer did not act this way, and your grandmother is more likely to rip off your head than accept this weakness. Than to accept these tears staining your eyes. Echoes of screams and growls filled her senses, drawing at the gnawing tone in her mind. Claws dug in the ground beneath her; she had to do everything in her power not to rip at the soil and retreat the sharpness of her paws.

Her head bore into her grandmother's shoulder. Tears stained her fur. Darkfall's lies hung heavy in the air; how could he bring up such a horrible lie? How could he speak such horrible words? How could miss grandmama believe it, and how could she get in such a state over it? What would happen if she pinned the tom down and cut his throat and tore his jaw until the lies spilled into truths? A dark thought. She pressed her eyes closed. It felt as though a part of her slipping beneath the cracks of the one who took over that very day that earned her name; why couldn't she breathe?

Her lungs closing up, or was air simply non-existent. She pressed her eyes further until it gave her a headache; she couldn't stand this silence. It was violent. Until it broke. There was a dull pain behind her eyes when they opened, a silent reaction to her grandmother's voice. She still couldn't breathe. But her grandmother seemed so... Level. So still. So painfully silent. She swallowed, the suffocation threatened to break whatever kept her stomach down. Shallows breaths. She forced herself to breathe deeper; it was so very painful; tears seeped into fur, disappearing as if they hadn't been there. Miss Grandmama seemed so composed. Did she not care, or was she so mature? Sleepysunrise regarded her for a long moment.

Bury it down. She took a breath. Keep it down. And she took another. Don't squish the kits - that was her only requirement. She would stay here. She would protect them. She wouldn't sleep. She bury this feeling down, deep down never to resurface again. She would impenetrable like her grandmother. Strong like her grandmother. Miss Grandmama was strong. She had to be too. She had to keep her near. She couldn't lose her too.
"...Thank you."
She whispered; a tremble threatening to break her voice, eyes strangely dull and shaken. Take a breath. Step away. Complete your duty, she told herself, protect those that are left. Mama will come back.


[ @/Undertaker ]