[Dolomedes]

Seabreeze
He/him | Riverclan Warrior| ~25 Moons |
“No one is coming to save you.
Get up.”

TW: This character’s posts often exhibits triggers such as depression, suicidal tendencies/idealation, anxiety, and self loathing

Seabreeze was only vaguely aware of the cats that started to come towards him and Stormstar but he stumbled away, flicking his mauled tail to keep balance with his center being so off. He could barely hold her but he didn't want anyone taking her away. They would take her and she wouldn't be safe anymore. Like they did to Cloverpaw. Images flashed of that day as he tried to recognize the faces around him. 'Seapaw, she needs help.' 'Seapaw, you can see her in a moment.' 'Seapaw the medicine cats are seeing her.' And yet she died, Stormstar's fate would be the same should he give her to just any cats. Cats he couldn't recognize.

The first cat that made their way through his hazy blur of thought was Berryshine, as she made her way through the crowd of gathering cats. It was too loud, they were going to.. it was just too loud he couldn't breathe and he couldn't think it was too loud. Seabreeze gently grabbed the leader by her scruff, as carefully as one could, he swung her down and placed her in a laying position in front of the medicine cat. He could hardly recognize her through the overbearing watching eyes. Hawk eyes. They were waiting to swoop like vultures. The stars were. They wanted to watch Riverclan as a kit does a beetle.

"I tried.. I didn't.. She..." He coughed, throat closing as he tried to speak around the bundles of sobs and crying. His pitiful attempts were there. Cobwebs placed on top of the many wounds, especially bundled up on top of the neck wound but there was no hiding what had happened there even through the blood soaked, crimson strained cobwebs. The next cat he recognized was Cobwebfern, he didn't want to step away from Stormstar, so he didn't. He wasn't a threat to her ( after all you can't kill something already dead... whispers a horrible voice in his mind. ) He needed to explain what happened, needed to help to repay whatever sins he committed to deserve everyone he cared about dying one after another like birds with broken wings.

Dull, unfocused blue eyes lifted finally from the corpse as the last voice entered through the shrill cacophony of the voices blurring together. Owltalon. Stormstar asked him to tell her.. he blinked, mind finally pulling forth something, something that Stormstar told him to do. Because she would wake up ( no she won't ) and so there's no reason to cry and do nothing while she's sleeping ( she's not getting back up this time ) she said so herself, she wouldn't die here. He managed to force a breath to stay in his lungs long enough to explain.

"Hunting- patrol... she asked for my company..." His eyes stung and he couldn't look at Owltalon's eyes, his mind flinging so many flags out at the mere idea but he held her gaze even if it wasn't like he was really seeing her at this point in his barely contained panic attack. "She led to the outsider border... Nothing good happens there- I shouldn't have let her lead us there..." The details grew fuzzy, "There was something- a dog-, He shook his head at himself, "Coyote, alone it was starving it attacked during the day, it shouldn't have been there. I didn't see it, it attacked, she got hurt!"

"And I tried, I tried to stop the bleeding and she woke back up, and she told me to warn you so that we could get a patrol just in case there was a den and then she was coughing and then she fell back over and I tried to stop the bleeding again, but nothing good ever happens on the outskirt border... why did I let her lead us there. It should've been me!" He would be surprised if anyone understood him, he hardly understood himself, whispery and raspy but so so so miserable and he doesn't think he's felt like this since Cloverpaw's death. Not even Frostmelt's or Mudsmoke's deaths shook him so.

He crumpled to the floor then, no longer needing to hold himself up for Stormstar's sake now that she's with cats that could be trusted to protect her. He was acting like a kit, but something cried in his brain to do so because then he could pretend that this is all a bad dream, that he would wake up and Cloverkit would be there shaking him awake and his parents would be arguing sure but everyone would still be alive and everything would be okay. But nothing for Seabreeze is okay. Nothing.

"It should've been me.. it should've been. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.."

[ @finley !! | @Marigoldwhisper | @squidz ]