[Rowan]

————> TW: This character commonly explores sensitive themes relating to mental health, self-harm, and trauma


-DARKPAW-
the Nightmare
Male//He-Him//ShadowClan Apprentice//6 Moons Old//Looks//from @/Rose

“I will always be the bad guy…no matter what. I don’t know why.”

 

His parents hated the clans. Holy hell, why did they even join? Perhaps Mama- no…she shouldn’t be called that. She was nothing remotely close to a mother. SnakeHiss (NPC, Able to Adopt) simply needed shelter for her kits…no…Kit. There was only one, only him. Because She got rid of them. Why couldn’t he be one of the ones she got rid of? He didn’t ask for this life…no no no, not this one. Couldn’t he be handed a better one?

Every single damned day he was pressured. His- SnakeHiss pushed him and pushed him and pushed him. She didn’t care that he couldn’t see yet. She didn’t care he was a weak feeble little runt. She Didn’t CARE. Typically parents care too much and cats see that as a bad thing?…No no no, not caring at all is a hell of a lot worse. He had to watch as his siblings die with their grinning mother above them. He had to watch as her expression changed and she…she pretended to care. She told everyone it was a badger…y’know what she told him? She told TWO MOON OLD him that he did it. That he killed them in his sleep. And he had to live with that burden…he couldn’t tell anyone, and he couldn’t question it…he just had to believe that excuse of a mother.

If he ever did anything wrong when she tried training him when he was much too young, shed threaten him. To hurt him…or to tell everyone he was a killer. She made him feel worthless. She beat him down on the daily…and the worst part? He believe it. He was Worthless.

As he got older everything got worse. She pushed him further, past his exhaustion. Any moment the clan was inconvenienced? It was his own fault somehow. The more he grew and tried getting away from SnakeHiss…The more she’d hurt him. She held him close through blackmail and guilt.

Oh, for his father? The tom wasn’t around much, he stayed in the clan for a tiny bit but just up and left one day, assumed ‘missing’ but he was an ass, so cats didn’t care much. The amount of time his father stayed he just shoved around DarkPaw and hissed to him he wasn’t good enough. His father hated him too…great!

Then…he got to the age he could be an apprentice and…peace. He didn’t have to worry about being stuck with her anymore…because she was dead. She got killed in some fight or something…he didn’t care. He was free, he could finally breath. Everything still hung with him…it always will. He’ll always have this cursed voice in his head, telling him horrible horrible things. But he also had that sense of freedom.

So, this kitty is traumatized and his mentality is really unstable, able to boost and decline pretty quickly. So…he needs some stable cats to hang around. Once he becomes an apprentice he doesn’t understand much. He is finally on his own, a bit nerve-wracking ey? But it was peace. He knew nobody but…perhaps a fresh start? Only if he could get over his weird tics…watching others, constantly having to move and fidget, staring into space, learning how to express emotions. Yeah…the list goes on.

He didn’t know how to interact with cats he didn’t know though. All he knew was SnakeHiss. He observed others for a bit. They all seemed odd to him…that clicked in his brain though, it made sense. He was the odd one out, clearly everyone seemed different…they were.




NEEDED ROLES

mentor: PLEASE. I desperately need a mentor for this guy before I add him! I need a good fit. One that wouldn't bother and try and uncover his past, he doesn’t want to share it. You could to a strict mentor that may push him too far to bring back a little bit of trauma if ya like! If not, I need a decent cat he can look up too. ^^

father adopt: I want to get someone to roleplay his father for potential future plots of the tom popping up in future plots and running into DarkPaw at a border sometime, perhaps comes crawling back to the clans, whatever you decide for him, I just want him out there for DarkPaw interaction! ^^

friends: This may be rough for him. He interacted with absolutely nobody as a kit and will struggle to form a bond that feels genuine to him. He sucks at perceiving emotions or showing any himself, causing some roughness in any communication. He can take any type of friends, but some may bond better than others! Cats will have to work up to best friend!

half-siblings/fully sibling: He wouldn’t know they are his siblings (at least not for a while) unless they know and directly confront him about it, but I could also be discovered over-time. The kits would be from his father’s side and could really be in any clan or an outsider, though I’d prefer ShadowClan or outsider that’s willing to join the clan. These cats would most likely be 2-3 moons younger than him as well.
For a full sibling, this cat would be outside of the clans and could either be older or a litter mate that he believes is dead (but perhaps survived somehow). I’d definitely have some plots with this cat in the future.
Full Siblings: 1-3 Moons / 12-25 Moons MAX
Father: a large, lanky black tom with white paws and dark blue eyes / 40M
Mother: a gray, medium-furred she-cat with darker leopard-like spots and green eyes / Died at 38M / Currently in Death: 39M
Half-Sibling Mother: I don’t mind much what you determine she looks like or have the half-siblings look like, as long as they have some common group with their father! / 2-4M

enemies: Perhaps these are cats that bully him or see this as just an act for attention…or perhaps just see him as odd and use him as an outlet for their anger? Either way, I need some cats to pester him and not leave him alone about his childhood and his odd behaviors and such

dark forest cats: I need 1-2 cats from the dark forest to train him (and somewhat torment him). It would be nice if one was harsher and the other was more manipulative so they ‘act’ kind. These cats would have to be pretty active cause I plan on having quite a bit of training in the Dark Forest!

trainers: Since his mentor needs some recovery time (between her new kits and LostSparks death) she won’t start training him immediately. In the mean-time, I need some cats to teach him the basics (stealth, hunting, fighting) and may dapple in some other areas. Just specify what your cat could teach him and any ideas in your form!


CLOSED


No required form, but for an idea I’ll add one. Be creative with yours though! And feel free to apply for any role I didn’t throw up there!!

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