Re: WindClan Deputy Applications
Presenting.............
Deadmoon!!!
Coming in at 44 moons, she definitely isn't young anymore, and hasn't been a reckless buffoon in like......10 moons or so!
She's been part of Windclan (albeit having been missing twice) since August of 2020, almost 4 years!
Also, her Major Character Development (tm) has already occurred, so you don't have to worry about it getting in the way of her decision making!
And now, an interview with the star herself!
Deadmoon! A pleasure to speak with you today!
The feeling is NOT mutual. I have to deal with your yammering every day, its not like we never see each other. I could do with seeing you less frequently, actually.
First of all, ouch. Second of all, I'd like to ask you why you're applying for deputy. I mean, you've not shown any interest in the position before.
YOU'RE the one who dragged me out here, you deserve a few insults. I didn't even know being deputy was an option until you made me listen to you pontificate for an hour. But I suppose the main reason I would like to be deputy is to make SURE that Featherwhisker's been proved wrong. And Rosebriar. A lot of spite is involved in my decision making, I'm not sure why you'd expect this to be different.
I'm disappointed, but not surprised. Are you sure there isn't any more....noble motivation? I don't think spite is likely to convince Twilightstar.
Well it's not just Twilightstar I have to convince, it's her twoleg too. The twoleg might think spite is funny. You certainly do.
Stop doing me dirty Deadmoon, I can bring back the plans for Character Development I've been sitting on for a while!
Ugh, fine. I've had more than enough of THAT for a lifetime. You dragged my family issues out for so long, couldn't even let me cut them off and hate them forever. I mean, I'm very glad that I fixed things up with Wolfie, he's great, but I STILL can't help thinking the kind of things they said sometimes. I mean they're partially right, my stupid leg makes it difficult to do normal Windclan rabbit-chasing things, and I'm not the best fighter. But I'm not a complete mess, not completely useless. I can catch rodents well, and I've not died yet. I've made it through a few battles with Shadowclan, and they aren't slouches. I'm....I'm still working on some things, but who isn't?
Time to get back on track perhaps?
Oh, hush. Fine. Stop giving me that look. It's also the fact that, this is going to sound sort of mean, it's just not that deep. Like, you can be clanmates without talking to another cat. And then they die. But you've never talked to them. So why do they suddenly matter? Cats who didn't even know them start losing their heads and screaming about revenge, and it's this massive panic when most of the time we don't even have all of the information. If you knew them you're entitled to grieve. Obviously! But if you never cared about their existence until now, don't start.....using their deaths for your own agenda or whatever. It makes it so much more difficult to discuss things and figure out how to deal with it, whether the problem is internal or from another clan, when everyone is being irrational and not just the cats that....deserve to, I guess. Call it emotionally unhealthy or whatever....
I will and I have.
....but make the right decision first, and mourn later. Don't make the job of figuring out what to do next harder by going nuts.
And you think you're the right cat to do that?
You've never seen me throwing accusations and threats around a clan meeting, have you?
Fair enough. I'm curious, what are your thoughts on the whole 'you have to ignore your family' thing?
I....didn't think that was what it said? Did it? If it does, I'm not applying. I quit. But I think you're misleading me and it didn't say that. If it did it'd just be stupid, and Twilightstar's not stupid. I mean, what is a cat without those they care about? An empty shell, pretty much. I mean, none of that character development you twolegs like to yap on about happens without other cats. I wouldn't be who I am today without so MANY cats. Most of them are missing or dead now, but the point still stands. Featherwhisker and Rosebriar taught me that I have to work hard, and prove myself. I have to be ready to defend myself, life won't just hand things to me. Nightpaw showed me what a great friendship could be, how cats can support eachother. Then Marigoldpaw, she showed me that cats don't always judge based on appearance, or by clan. And you shouldn't. And she gave me a great sense of humor. Rookscreech did the same, and more. She was my best friend. Still is, even though she's gone. Even though I've screwed her over so many times. If she ever comes back, she'll still be my best friend. She's family. Breezefeather was the first taste I really had of that, of an adult who wanted to stand between me and the outside world. Even if he did die far too soon. And then I got Wolfie back, I learned to, was forced to more like, confront emotions. Move through them, and try to forgive. And Snowy. He's given me something to aspire to. He thinks I'm so much better than I am, and that makes me want to be better for him. And for Honeypaw and Duckpaw. To be a cat they're proud to call their former mentor.
Awww, that was actually kind of cute! I knew you had a heart in there somewhere! I have to ask though. You've been known to be awfully chummy with some Shadowclan cats. What's to say that won't continue?
I resent the implications there immensely, shut up human. And, well, I suppose my little Gathering rendezvous aren't something to be proud of. Depending on how technically you want to look at it, I could have been breaking the warrior code. But I'm not going to apologize for.....what? Having friends? Enjoying healthy relationships? Before Breezefeather, Marigoldpaw and Rookscreech were the closest I had to normal relationships. Where my leg, that I had no control over, wasn't a massive sticking point. So I won't apologize for that. If Shadowclan cats were the ones who reached out to me, and had a good sense of humor and didn't make me feel lesser, that's not my fault. And it didn't impact my role as a warrior of Windclan. I think that's the stipulation. Friends are allowed, but the clan comes first. I was in a battle with Rookscreech on the other side, when she was still with Shadowclan, and didn't say anything. Even when Wolffang was fighting her, I knew the clan had to come first. Because ultimately, with how fast cats come and go, arrive and go missing, the concept of the clan is really the only tether you have unless you're really, really lucky. That I know for sure. No individual cat is worth forsaking a clan for, because they could just as easily disappear the next moon. Besides. I have Snowybreeze and Wolffang and Honeypaw and Duckpaw to joke around with now.
Something a little more exciting now. How do you think other cats would describe you?
What other cats? I can guarantee you I've split some opinions.
Let's start with a clanmate you don't know too well. Another warrior you only see for meetings and patrols. How would they see Deadmoon?
Your standard warrior probably. I don't think anycat would tell you I'm not dependable, I get my patrols done on time and I'll take apprentices out training even when they're not mine. But I also don't think you'd find anyone who wants to get much closer, you know? I'm pretty business if I don't already know you and you're over, like, 10 moons. Kits and young apprentices are fun, they can goof around a bit and they generally haven't realized that I can't run fast, but with adults it's easier to be a bit aloof. It's an improvement over what it used to be really, I can be nice and courteous when necessary. But socializing at all is a bit weird, so unless there's an express reason to converse I'd rather not.
Well, that is a bit better than you used to be. At least you don't bite everyone's face off when they try and say hello. What about one of your apprentices? Like Honeypaw, or Duckpaw?
I hope they'd say I'm a good teacher, I try my best. Even if I can't do the typical 'Windclan runs fast' routine. They'd probably say I have a weird sense of humor. Probably not completely child appropriate if we're being honest, but sometimes morbid things are just....objectively kind of funny. Plus, joking about catastrophes is a good way to avoid existential dread. Also, a nice way to avoid excessive emotional sharing. Which don't get me wrong, I've shared emotions before. It was healthy. But it's not my favorite thing in the world. I always end up crying which is kind of embarrassing, and I have to be sad to do it. Whenever I let my emotions out a little bit they come out all at once, the ones related to everything in the past anyway. Most of the time I'm fine, I don't worry about the negative things that have happened in the past. About Featherwhisker and Rosebriar. But once I start thinking about family or anything like that too deeply, I can't avoid it, and I feel like that stupid kit again who just didn't understand. So it's easier to not start. But I think Honeypaw and Duckpaw would say I'm a decent mentor.
Ok, a bit more personal. Snowybreeze and Wolffang. What do you think they'd have to say?
Snowybreeze would say something really sweet I’m sure, something far too kind. He’d make me out to be the best cat in the world. But I think he would say that about anybody. He doesn’t have an angry, or even unkind, bone in his body.
Wolffang would probably act all guilty. He always does. Even though we’ve patched things up, I don’t think he likes me around too much. I’m one of the big reminders of what he used to be. But sometimes he’s too much of a reminder for me too. Even as we love each other, there’s spite there. I want things to go wrong for him, sometimes. But he’d probably say I’ve become a good warrior. Better than he would have expected. He always said I had to work a bit harder to be as good, and that’s been true. But I did do the work, even if I was an apprentice for a bit longer than usual.
And your sister? Your mother? If you could talk to them?
Well aren’t you a jerk? I’ve already TOLD you I don’t like soul searching. For the record, I wouldn’t listen to anything those two rats had to say. I would have some words for them though. Something like: I’m still here. You’re both dead. I’m a good warrior, I’ve trained apprentices, I’ve made friends, and I don’t need you as my family anymore. You didn’t want me, and I don’t want you. I don’t even think about you anymore. You have no power over me.
Some of that would be a lie, but I would say it. Spite makes right, my own personal little maxim. Not really. But it helps sometimes. Even if I am forgiving cats a bit more now.
What? Why are you looking at me like that? That’s your character development face, get that off your face right now!
WHAT? TELL ME NOW!
Deadmoon, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
……why? What happened.
It’s Wolffang. He’s dead.
………dead?
……..again?
No, he can’t be. Wolfie can’t be dead. He was going to woo Leopardsong, and have kits with her or whatever. He was going to train his apprentice. We were going to be emotionally healthy for once, stars damn it! He can’t just be gone! Again.
Deadmoon, he’s gone. There isn’t anything you can do.
No, no. He’s in Starclan, they can send him back. They sent him back last time, they’ll do it again. He's still got unfinished business, no cat is finished at 50 moons, or however old his is!
A lot of cats don't make it that long Deadmoon. He's not a leader. He's not getting a third chance. You have to just.....accept that.
How am I supposed to just....accept that?
How does any cat accept the death of the loved one?
They don't really, do they. They must not. You'll never be comfortable with it, even if you know you'll see them in Starclan. Wolfie, he will be in Starclan. Right? When I eventually go?
I would imagine so, yes.
That's...that's good. I hope I'll be able to see him. At some point. When I.....you know.
You've become weirdly calm.
Are you really surprised? You've seen me deal with loss before. You know how it ends. I try and pretend like it never happened, until it's been long enough that it sort of....fades into the back of my mind. No one talks about it anymore, and I can safely remember him as, like, a character in a book or something. That's what's happened with other cats I've lost anyway. Try to remember the good times, the nice stories, without the feeling of loss.
Does this.....event change your interest in being deputy at all?
If anything, I'd be more eager for increased responsibility. Something to take my mind off of what's missing. I know, I know, I'm not being emotionally healthy again. And being able to.....try and step up a bit in Wolffang's absence, maybe. I mean I'll never be the fighter he was, but he was also a vocal, sort of respected presence. Regardless of any rank changes in the future, I'm turning into almost a senior warrior, and need to start acting more like it. Being more assertive, maybe, rather than just trying to get cats to shut up or throwing out my own opinion. I can't have Wolfie or Snowy being disappointed in me, whether they’d say it or not.
Alright, we’ll call it done. Thank you for your time.
Buzz off you nosy twoleg, go jabber with your friends or something.
We also have a brief message from her servant.
Good luck to whoever’s picked, Gs and Deadmoon are excited regardless!!
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Last edited by gs29513; July 3rd, 2024 at 10:57 PM.
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