[zBlaze]

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⯎TW: Emotional and Physical Distress, Pain, Abuse, Birth going wrong. Basically everything lmao⯎
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"I'm sorry.."

The ground seemed to open up from beneath Goldfish's paws. How could two words change so
much? How could two words be so cruel? She didn't move a muscle, as though if she stood still
for long enough perhaps it would bring her back to a few seconds earlier, and any bit of happiness
she felt from being reunited to her friend would come flooding back, and maybe Minkpaw would
say yes, and maybe the pain in her stomach would stop clenching over her and radiating off like
the heat of the sun. Maybe Minks would care enough about her to agree, and be happy to see
everyone again and she and Cobwebpaw could get together and be happy. Never regret coming
back. Being happy she'd found her, she'd seen her again. But instead she was met with a Minks
that looked like a guilty, sheepish kit instead of caring about seeing her at all. Why? Why didn't
Minks care about her? The next wave of pain brought a massive, shuddering jolt through her, and
Goldfish's legs began to tremble with exhaustion and pain. The scarred calico let the despairing
feeling reach her eyes. Why did it matter? It wasn't like Minks would ever see her again. Would
ever care to see her again. She'd make stupid rogue friends, and laugh about the look the queen
warrior had on her face right now. Her better judgement told her Minks would never, ever do that.
but who the crap cares about their better judgement when you think your STOMACH IS FALLING OFF!
When a sudden jolt of unbearable pain rocketed through her, Goldfish staggered backward with a yelp,
slamming her shoulder purposefully against a tree for support. She whipped her head to face the
cat who was forced to be her enemy. Her kid. Her sister. Her friend. Someone she thought
so highly of. A word flew out of her both before her tank could filter it. "Starsdamnit, Minks!"
She shouted, voice thick with so many emotions. Another wave of pain made her legs buckle and
Goldfish crumpled to the ground, pupils dilated from the harsh pain. No. No no no no no. Not
here, not now. No. No no. No. She couldn't kit right now! She couldn't literally be Going to have kits
right now! Worst possible time, kittos! Another wave of pain so abnormally intense it made her shake
violently, and she bit back a scream of pure pain, something she hadn't done in stars-know how long,
probably since apprenticehood--- The next searing pain made her see stars, and blackness cornered
her vision. She wouldn't know if anyone was trying to help her, her hearing felt intensely distant. It
took a moment for Goldfish to clear it, and when she did, the pain brought intense memories back she
didn't want to see.

"Mama, I can't find Silverkit." Goldkit mewed to her mother, pressing against her tortoiseshell pelt.
Goldkit always wanted a pelt like her mama's, but StarClan didn't seem keen on letting her swap her's
out. Cormorantcrash's pelt was thick and black, with burnt umber and white spots that look beautiful
at any point. Spotty had gotten her blue eyes. Goldkit and Silverkit had gotten their father's (Whoever
he was) golden eyes. Goldkit wondered where she'd gotten her spots. Grandma, probably. Grandma
was golden-yellow. But Grandma was dead, so she couldn't even compare. Their father was gray, that
was obvious, or else Spotty n' Silvs wouldn't be gray. "Go get her, then." Cormorantcrash said matter-of
-factly. Spotty jutted in to the rescue. "Mama, we can't. It's a blizzard. We can't see anything!" She chirped,
eyes forced to look bright. Mama pushed Goldkit a little distance away, shoulders hunched. Goldkit sprung
to her paws indignantly. Just as she was about to say something, Spotty shot her a look. The look that
Mama would be angry if she complained. So she closed her jaws. Moonfall padded up to sit beside the
tortoiseshell queen. "She'll be fine. StarClan will watch over her." She promised. Goldkit looked up at
Moonfall with wide eyes. "What if they don't?" She asked. Cormorantcrash tensed up. Moonfall looked
away, confidence wavering for a moment. "Don't be silly, dear, of course StarClan will watch over her."
She mewed, but only stared straight ahead. Goldkit trudged, unsatisfied, over to Spottedkit. Spotty
pressed her cheek against Goldkit's. The bicolor sat down beside her sister reluctantly. "Love you, Goldie."
She said, pressing herself closer to Goldkit. This was Spotty's way of secretly needing comfort from her
younger, energetic, bouncy sister. She took the cue. "Love you too, Spotty." She responded. Then, she
stared directly out the den enterance. "Love you, Silvs." But got no response. She'd never get a response
from Silvs again.

Goldfish's claws dug into the earth as the time came closer and closer. She was faintly aware that she was
already bleeding. Huh? She gave Spotty a delirious smile. "Love you, Spotty." she mewed, voice
slurred from pain and exhaustion that had already hit her like a stone. She was scarcely aware of the waves
of pain. Goldfish was pretty much out of it. But she was trying. Trying to keep herself here, trying to remember
why she was out here, trying to have her kits grow up with a mother's love. But stars, it was hard.

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EVERYONE GETS POWERPLAY PERMS
| @paris [Ghost of Shellwhisker, ARISE] | @alec | @Bean | @carmen | @forest | @Peril | @Fritter [Viewing] |
Not yet, Kits! Just for viewing purposes. Also, please avert from mentions of Pepperbounce,
as Fritter requested to remove him from the thread