[silver.]

batpaw
he/him // 16 moons // shc apprentice
purrks: shadow fiend, burn baby burn

---

What was all this? Where was this all coming from? There was nothing for her to apologize for. Not in his mind, anyway. She wasn't the one that was flaying his skin and bleeding him. She wasn't the one that laid a trap to steal him away from his home, his friends, his life. She wasn't the one that made him feel so scared and weak and pathetic like he was just a kit again. No, she didn't do any of that. So why was she sobbing and apologizing? Perhaps it was guilt rearing it's ugly head. That had to be it. She felt guilt for hating him when he had done nothing but suffer. That made more sense to him when he put thought into it. When his head cleared enough from the sudden shock of her outburst to make sense of it all.

A sigh once again deflates his frame as he stares down at her now at his paws as if begging his forgiveness. What was he to do? It was his nature to tease her. To continue to take things un-seriously and diffuse the tense situation into something lighthearted and kit-like. Foolish, like bickering kittens arguing over a moss ball. But he didn't want to. It was exhausting. It was stupid. It wasn't him anymore. Try as he might it just wasn't.

So he settles in against her flank, both of them squished into one apprentice sized nest. Laying opposite of her so he can rest his head on her lower back and curl his tail around her trembling body as if to offer an ounce of comfort. As if he could comfort anyone. As if he was good for something other than taunting and poking fun. It was his own fault. No one would take him seriously and while part of him was alright with it it got under his skin, too. It made him angry. Why didn't anyone ever take him seriously? No, this wasn't the time to feel sorry for himself! Midnightpaw needed him. Someone needed him.

"Don't apologize to me. You've done nothing to harm me. It was them." Staring at her through the corners of his eyes, he allows but a moment of silence to linger before opening his mouth to continue. "If you were there I know you would have tore them to shreds."

He wasn't making a wrong assumption-- he was sure of it. Sure that if Midnightpaw and he had been taken together she would have fought tooth and nail to protect him, and he would do the same for her. If there was anything he was sure of it was that. Argue as they may, tease as they may, at the end of the day they would defend one another. He was sure. Their bond was deeper than he would ever admit out loud-- no, that would be far too embarrassing. But to himself? In his days alone, away from home to suffer, he had done a lot of thinking. A lot of understanding. Midnightpaw was more than an underling. More than a friend. He... Loved her. Ugh! Even the thought made him sick!

"I wouldn't have blamed you if it happened that way. If I simply returned without reason, having disappeared without reason. I would hate you, too, if it were me."

If he were in her position he would be bitter. He would be meaner than she, teeth bared and eyes ice cold. Even if twolegs had stolen her he would be angry that she didn't come home sooner. Angry that she was foolish enough to be captured. Hurt that he had to continue living not knowing whether she were dead or alive. Even just thinking about it has him curling in against her as if letting go meant she would disappear next. He was childish still.

"But what is important is that I have returned. I am to stay for the rest of my days! And I would rather die then be whisked away again. I swear it to you-- they will not have me again. Even if I must swear it upon the stars to prove it to you."

Hopefully it's enough to soothe her. Even if it lulls her into a calm that ceases her shaking and sobbing.

midpaw | @Omari