Midnightpaw
Shadowclan
She/her
79/100
Each word he spoke felt like a physical swing at her heart. The tight throbbing in her throat continued, and now her head had begun to pound as well…
they cut my belly fur and removed my flesh, he told her.
And while they poked and prodded at him, sliced and tore him apart, you were here… Doing what, exactly? Debating on shredding his old nest to soothe your aching heart? Over-working yourself to the bone to forget about him? Telling yourself that he had left the clan for something better? Vowing your hatred to the stars above, dedicating yourself to being the exact opposite of what you assumed him to be? What you've assumed all of them to be?
Midnightpaw's eyes darted from her paws up to her
old friend, pupils blown wide and shaky with something reminiscent of terror. Her breath hitched when she had made eye contact with him, and instead of saying
anything, she squeezed her eyes shut.
She had done so much, worked so hard to improve herself. To toughen up, to be capable enough to take on the hardships that this world would inevitably throw at her time and time again. She had gotten her paws dirty, learned to flay pelts, prayed each and every morning to empower her own beliefs, fought, fought,
fought–and now she was
crying?
With one simple action from the tom before her, just a gentle
lick, her walls came crashing down despite all that she had done to build them up in the first place. Her quiet whimpers had abruptly elevated into broken-hearted sobs, her legs wobbling beneath her as she shuffled close to her
friend, allowing herself to slouch into her nest at his paws.
“No!” She hissed at him suddenly, shaking her head with a brattish attitude fit for a kit.
“I'm sorry! I'm s–hic–... So sorry. I thought you ran away an’ left to.. To go somewhere else and I–! Dunno, I dunno, I hated you for it. I told myself–and the stars, I told them that you left and I hated you. I hated you so much.” Midnightpaw spat at him, and if it weren't for the fact that she was still crying–and still collapsed in her nest at his paws–it would be easy to interpret that she was lashing out at him. No, that was not the case, though. Far from it. She was
confiding in him, no matter how enraged and messy it seemed. Green eyes ablaze with frustration and devastation, glittering with tears and sorrow, she hiccuped again before she continued.
“I told myself that… If I ever saw you–any of you–trying to crawl your way back, I'd rip your to–.. tongue out, with whatever stupid apology you had, and I'd send you packing. But, you..”
And the water works came again. Guilt pulled at her heartstrings, burnt her eyelids to the point that the skin there had taken on a reddish-pink tone.
“You were just trying to get home–and they hurt you... They hurt you, so, so, badly. I am so sorry.”
[ @
silver. ]