[Bean]

Rainpaw
He/They - 14 Moons

tw: Thoughts of suicide, Self-hate, Slight Panic Attack

The one-eyed tabby glared at his mentor as he decided to lecture Rainpaw about 'manners.' "You're damn right I've been through a lot! Who could tell!? Not like I've barely got any training between loosing my eye and almost dying! Doesn't help that furbs is sick in the medicine den, And If she doesn't make it out..." What if she didn't make it out? What would rainpaw do then? A life without furbs wasn't a life. He flicked his eye away from his mentor at the question of training. "Everything. But I will not go near water, do I make myself clear?" he snarled. Despite his attempt to be rude, The scarred apprentice couldn't hide the genuine fear in his voice. Since the flood, he couldn't stand being near water. It scared the crap out of him. The tabby cat sighed before turning around. "Despite what you may think, You haven't done anything to earn my respect, Fadings-sun," he paused, taking a deep breath to try and stop his stammering. Stars, he was 14 starsdamn moons and he still squeaked like a newborn kit! It was stupid! "I will do my best to follow your orders o' great leader, but I will tolerate you. I'm not that same social butterfly kit I was before... befor-" He choked on his words. Rainpaw quickly shoved the memory away before he could get swept away.

"N-No water. Please," he finally whispered. They tried their best to compose themselves, and stop the rapid shaking of their tabby pelt. Water. Water was a curse. Water was a killer. Water had taken everything he cared about. They turned away from the leader, hiding the tears starting to well in Rainpaw's one blue eye. "'fter you," he mumbled, waving a paw to the camp exit. You can't show your weakness. Fadingsun will only take advantage of you, just like everyone else. You can't show your weakness. It will only make things worse. It will only make Fadingsun worse to you. Pull yourself together, weakling. At this point, Rainpaw was shaking. They just hoped Fadingsun was leaving camp by now, then they could get off easy. Only furbs. You can only trust furbs. Just her. She cares.

[ @occultation - Rain's thoughts do not reflect my own ]
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