Warrior Cats Online - View Single Post - Just Hold On Like You'll Never Let Go [p]

***Alchemist Kitsune*** · #2 April 18th, 2024, 08:43 PM

| Lightningstorm |
Flock Together [Tier 3] - Inactive | Mind Reader - Active

It had been lonely in her den ever since she had forced her away. Firestorm had not been happy, but at least she had understood it was for the best. Or at least the lithe calico certainly hoped so. The medicine cat's den was no place for the kits to be born in. To grow up in. They should have friends. Meet others in the nursery. Hopefully be accepted by the vultures of the clan. It would raise their possibility to survive. To not grow up to simply be that medicine cat's kin. She would hate for them to grow up in her shadow for so many reasons... The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced this had been the right call for their sake.

Despite having been awake and alert, Lightningstorm had grown accustomed to the solitude once more. Had learned to deal with the lack of steps, of life... of anyone, really, buried here with her. Spottedpaw's arrival had been a surprise, but even that had been tame compared to the twist her insides gave at the news. They were here. The kits were here. Never had she felt such a conflicting storm of emotions before. An unfettered glee that their little ones would soon join them. That they would have a family! That Firestorm would be a mother, just like she had wished... and that she would be a part of it! But that trepidation refused to let go. The knowledge of their origin... of the dark forces that had allowed her precious family to be formed. It was terrifying, and a wretched part of her mind kept screaming at her. Telling her to not let her guard down. Because nothing good could come from the Dark Forest.

She ignored this feeling, for once grasping on to the positives. She would not allow her own sense of foreboding... her paranoia to get the better of her. This was Firestorm's day. Their kits' day. Not even the Dark Forest could ruin that. Nodding at the request to bring burnet, the healer grabbed one of the pitiful amount she had left while making a mental note to send for more later, and she was gone. Swift as the wind, a WindClan cat through and through in spite of her claims to the contrary.

The nickname the silly molly had once intended as an insult escaping her lips, Lightningstorm couldn't stop the nervous smile that played at her lips as she set the burnet down. The ginger tabby was tired. Too tired. She'd been through enough of these. Enough kitting queens to know that this was... not how they started. It wasn't until a few of the kits had been born that they started showing those signs of fatigue. But then... Kitten had always been able to stomach less pain than she liked to laud. It would be fine. She had her burnet. That would keep her strength up. And if she needed a rest, the spotted lass would be more than happy to help with the kits while her lover rested. She had no idea how many there would be, but she would watch over them. The clan could wait for a few hours while the queen took a nap.

"Already tired, love? Kits haven't even come 'round yet. Here I was, thinking your energy was infinite. Guess the kits take after me if they can already get you this exhausted, wouldn't you agree?" she purred, nuzzling the molly, hoping her remark would kindle some of that stubborn, hot headed, competitiveness in her and keep her awake. As long as she was conscious, everything would be fine.

The kits began coming, the first one a lovely cream and orange tabby... a kit Lightningstorm would have praised Firestorm for... if not for what came after. The blood... the damned blood. It had been moons since the medicine cat had seen so much blood in a kitting. The last time this had happened, the queen had been ignored by all other cats, despite her giving birth in the middle of the clearing. She had been a new apprentice then, and her pleas for help had gone unheard. No one came to her aid. No one cared that a helpless queen was bleeding out, or that only one of the four kits were alive. She wasn't an apprentice anymore, however, and she would be not standing idly by. But... but she had no mushrooms. The patrols never came back with them in typical WindClan fashion. Gritting her teeth, she turned around, spotting the lynx point there with them - she'd forgotten about the company for a moment, her concern too high - and pleading once more for help, her voice high pitched with fright.

"Bravebird, I need moss! I... I need to stop the blood. Just rip some from the nesting materials pile. We don't have time to lose!"

Even as she begged for the help, she knew it was hopeless. Firestorm was growing weak. Too weak. And there was nothing she could do. She was pointless here. No matter what, Lightningstorm would always hate attending the birth of kits. There was nothing she could do other than offer the queens some strength and pray for the best. Because it was out of her paws. If something went wrong, there was precious little a cat could do. She could not revive a stillborn. She couldn't stop the bleeding that would lead to the mother's death. To her mate's death. All she could do was pace back and forth. Mutter herbs and what they could do under her breath. Wonder if a combination of any of them together would somehow provide a miracle cure. But at the end of the day, there was nothing more she could offer other than apologies to the ones who survived. The ones who were left behind.

"Come on, Kitten," she whispered softly, laying down besides the warrior, her voice cracking despite her best efforts to keep it upbeat and positive. "You are fine. You are going to be fine. Once the little ones are born, you are going to see them and name them and... and I won't even bite your tail when you inevitably settle on naming one after your ol' grandad. Only nibble a little. How's that sound?"

Words of reassurance left Firestorm's maw, and Lightningstorm couldn't help the confused glance she sent her mate's way. What was she getting? She had this? She had this?! Did the molly truly not realize what was going on? Not understand that she was... that this cursed wish had... Damn it all to hell, she couldn't even think it, let alone accept it! No, no no. The tabby was strong, right? She had a dream. To be a deputy. She was going to be deputy someday. And then their kits would be the light that would push her forward to accomplish those goals. To be a good deputy and keep the clan safe for everyone, because that was the kind of cat she was. A deputy with a heart of gold that every kit could look up to and aspire to be like! She would not die here. Not like this. Not before she had accomplished her dreams.

I'm sorry.

It was as if the air had been knocked straight out of her lungs. Like if she was drowning in a river of darkness with no light in sight. I'm sorry. No, she couldn't be. She wasn't! Firestorm would never quit! She didn't know the meaning of the word! Oh stars! Why?!

I never thought things would end up like this between you and me.

But I did...

"No. Don't say that... It's not... It's not going to end like this. You know that. You'll be-"

Lightningstorm gritted her teeth, tears streaming down her cheeks as a wrecked sob escaped her. Because she couldn't lie. Her last words to her love would not be a lie. Not when she had never lied before. Played with words? Absolutely. It had always been her own brand of getting away with things. Of not being caught. After all, it wasn't her fault if cats didn't understand what she meant to the letter. A little quirk of hers that Firestorm had never been fond of, knowing how the calico used it to gain the upper paw. She still did it to tease her, of course. But never to hurt her. Never to lie. Today would not be the start of that.

Instead she was left a bubbling mess. A wreck of a cat as she tried to coherently respond to the only cat that mattered in this desolate place. The only cat that saw her as more than that herb cat that served the clan. And it was all because of her. Because she had dared to dream that maybe happiness was possible even in this cursed clan. But she had forgotten her lot in life. The misery she was meant to suffer. The lonely, hopeless despair that was meant to be hers since that day she'd left a warrior to die in a pit of infection and rejection. This was her punishment, and she had brought it upon Firestorm for nothing more than her own foolishness. For thinking she deserved a respite. To find love. The Dark Forest had cursed her with kits... why had she ever dared believe it was a blessing? And now she was meant to care for these... these tools of death? These creatures whose sole purpose had been crafted for nothing more than the demise of the feline who had loved them so much she had wished them into existence? What sick bloody joke was this?!

And then... she was gone. Too soon. Too swiftly for Lightningstorm to let her know that she'd loved her too. A yowl of anguish erupted among her sobs as she collapsed forward, feeling for a heartbeat. A breath. Anything that let her know that Firestorm wasn't dead. That this was all a cruel, sick joke she had planned. It was... not her style, and the medicine cat would bloody kill her for it, but she would be alive. And well. And she wasn't breathing. And her heart wasn't beating. Oh stars... her heart wasn't beating. She was truly dead. She had wished for a family... and was granted nothing but blood, misery, and orphans of darkness for the clan to raise.

"She just wanted a family..." she mumbled, slowly sitting up as logic won over. As she came to terms with the fact that Firestorm was gone, and there was nothing she could do about it. "She just wanted a bloody family!" she repeated, her voice growing stronger as the tears continued, ire slowly creeping over the sorrow as she spoke, her face to the nursery's ceiling as if speaking to StarClan itself.

"You bloody rats can't let anyone have a damn thing, can you?! You stick your worthless noses out of anything that could be remotely important, and then even when you decide to mess around look at what happens! Look at the misery you've wrought! Look at it! Is this what you call a wish fulfilled?! Is this what you call a job well done?! What is the point of you?!" Lightningstorm screeched, her hackles raising as she condemned them all. StarClan, Dark Forest... it mattered none. They were all useless before her eyes now.

"WHAT IS THE BLOODY POINT OF YOU?! ANSWER, DAMN YOU!" she cried out, her voice breaking up, a cough rattling her entire body as she collapsed once more, sobs slowly turning into a low, hysterical laugh. "What is the bloody point?"