Rosekit
Male / 2 Moons / ThunderClan / Sexuality Unknown
Chocolate-brown and russet tabby Tom with fluffy fur and bright amber eyes, thin scars on his legs and a wide scar across the bottom half of his face
“
Sure, I’ve got half a face, but you’ve got yourself half a brain, so I’m sure we’ll get along just fine, ey?”
~Rosekit
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Being honest, this is absolutely awful, Rosekit told himself, slipping quietly out of the nursery entrance and into the morning air.
Nobody to ruin someone else’s day with, not too many people’s day to ruin at all, and…
He paused, mere inches ahead of the nursery. Then for a moment, he paused to listen in on the sounds of the den. Kittens cried, laughed and jumped back and forth over each other and their mothers, paying no attention to Rosekit as he watched them with envious amber eyes. They danced around carelessly, surrounded by the love and compassion of their friends, family, and most importantly, mothers. Who knew where Rosekit’s mother had run off to, and that was ignoring his absent father and possibly non-existent siblings. He was growing jealous to the point discomfort was pulling at the skin under his fur, and the freezing air began to feel genuinely painful. He finished his thought,
…and no love at all, really. Oh, I’m pathetic.
Rosekit tried to ignore the freeze-burn and stepped out further into camp. Maybe he still had a chance. Maybe his mother and father would show up someday to pick him up and take him back in, alongside the rest of his siblings, and they’d live normally, hunting for each other, defending one another and loving themselves. Maybe they’d only show up once Rosekit reached adulthood (warrior-hood in this place,) and they’d raise him to protect them as they grew elderly. He could give them the love and care than for some unknown reason they were unable to give him. And- even crazier- somebody had carried him here. Spoke to him, even though it was too quiet for Rosekit to hear. Was he Rosekit’s father? Was he promising to come back some day and pick him up? Finally create a happy family life?
Or they’re dead. All of them.
Rosekit sucked in a breath, unsheathed his claws stopped abruptly. What a thought to have. But once it crossed his mind, it refused to leave. It hung there, replacing all of the hope for love that he’d just found himself weaving together. With the new thought circulating his head, he started to walk again.
Maybe it’s for the best that I have the worst possible mindset, He assured himself, but it felt much more overwhelming than reassuring.
That way… I can’t be… disappointed. Yeah.
But why were there so many terrible mindsets? ‘They’re all dead’ was only the beginning. They could’ve hated him. His personality, his ruined face, his existence in general. Did he deserve to be hated? Maybe they had never originally hoped for children, kicked out them all once they had the chance. Maybe they-
Oh, Gods of Death, will you shut up. He thought to himself, angrily.
Maybe they were simply too stressed to live with the amount of kits they ended up with. Gave up one or a few. Maybe they were killed just after he was born? But then why was he still here? And who had left him be? Did they die defending him?
Again.
Shut up.
Maybe they-
“
I said shut up,” Hearing his own voice, a little quiet but still clear, made Rosekit jump. He stopped walking again, and turned his head to stare at the ground. That was humiliating. He knew he was lonely, but lonely enough to talk to himself? Now that was just embarrassing. Rosekit took a glance around to make sure nobody was obviously staring at him like he had three heads, before looking back at the ground.
He wouldn’t have to think up all of this if he’d just lived a happy life with his parents. At least
a parent- but no, he was one-hundred percent abandoned. No doubt about it.
At least he was alive. He survived despite his parents’ refusal to raise him up as they should have into something confident and healthy. He was here, and excluding a scar or two, he was doing just fine. Did he need his mother or father? Nah! Hanging onto the forming confidence, Rosekit took his eyes off the ground, taking another look around camp. He’d just make it his goal to be the most successful warrior he can be one day, show his maybe-dead parents that they were completely useless to him.
But that wouldn’t end the loneliness. How would be be successful without any help whatsoever?
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// There we are. No hurry on replies, life happens. Take as much time as necessary. \\
@
willooowfeather