[SpiritedWarrior]

Crowpaw
Purrks: Heightened Perception and Agatha Kitty
@Tiabirb

He sat there and listened to Sweetsong react to his story... or the first part of it, anyway. She didn't say all that much, and neither did he once she started speaking. It really was a tragic tale, but the RiverClanner didn't even know the majority of his story. There was still so much to say, but he waited out of curtesy. She says that he will come out of this... this 'leaf-bare,' but he didn't entirely know when he would. I just hope it's soon. The golden tabby had made eight marks in the sand, but he didn't know why. What was even more confusing was when those marks were erased.

"That's not even the half of it." Crowpaw spoke in a low volume. Not quite a murmur, but close. "I was eight moons old when Thrushfur became ThunderClan's deputy... and that was just the beginning of m-my... my 'leaf-bare'."

"From my eight moon to my tenth... my parents and I argued back and forth. Constantly... especially Thrushfur and I. We had to have argued at least four or five times. All of them about how he neglected me and my sister. I tried so hard to give my sister the life I didn't have. I stopped training just because I wanted to spend time with my sister. Bond with her, y'know. My sister... she hadn't been an apprentice for very long... and in the back of my mind, I'll always blame Sootfur for it." Crowpaw's tears flowed freely once more, one after another, as he remembered everything that happened.

"She didn't know she couldn't go out of camp on her own... it's against the rules for everyone's safety. And that day... it proved exactly why that rule was set in place." Crowpaw's breath was shaky as he tried his best to control his voice. "O-one day... I- I couldn't find her anywhere in the camp. I... I- I was scared, naturally. Last time she was out of camp, I didn't see her for a while."

C'mon Crowpaw, don't beat around the bush. "I yowled for her... multiple times. When she didn't come, I- I decided to just break the rule and go out of camp on my own. I... I didn't stray far. Quietpaw was just outside the camp walls behind the apprentice den I think. It's still leaf-bare during this time, so it was cold..." He sighed and wiped his tears with a paw. "It took me a while to convince her, but I finally managed to get her to agree to come back into the camp. When we were on our way to... to the entrance, we heard something. Something I didn't hear until that day."

"I didn't know what it was at the time because I never saw one before... it was a fox. A hungry one. We were both absolutely terrified... but I knew we couldn't just go back into the camp- it'd put everyone's lives at risk. I... I didn't know how to fight anything yet. So... I- I told Quietpaw to run. I ran with her to the nearest tree. I asked her if she knew how to climb- she nodded yes, so... so we tried our best to run to safety."

"But before I knew it, I was shoved to the ground. Forced to watch as that fox ripped her to shreds. I- I can't even begin to tell you what she looked like... it was horrific. The snow was dyed red in her blood. As soon as I could, though, I... I attacked the fox's face. Try to save Quietpaw's life, y'know... that's- t-that's how I got these scars... It shredded my ear, made me half-blind in my eye." Crowpaw flicked the tip of his tail. "I managed to get it a few tail-lengths away from my sister... and then as soon as I could, I grabbed my sister and ran up the tree to the closest branch that wasn't within jumping distance for that fox."

Crowpaw laid his head on his paws and let out a few shuddering breaths before speaking again. "I... I looked in the leaves and on the bark. There was no cobwebs or anything I could use to stop the bleeding... so I used the n-next best thing. M-myself... I laid on her to try- t-try to stop all the blood from coming out. I tried my best not to cry... y'know, so I could be support she needed in her final moments. All while the fox was... was tried to get to us."

"She was s-so scared... She didn't want to leave me. B-but I told her it was okay... because I would never leave her. I promised her that I would never leave her. Y-you could say I swore it... like a warrior swearing their vows. She died... in my paws. On that tree branch. Once- o-one o-once that fox was g-gone... I- I grabbed her body and left the tree. Made my way into camp." The young tom sniffed and wiped his nose. "When I reached the center of the clearing... or close to it, at least, I j-just... I lost it. All the control I had over- over my emotions- just... gone. My mother and my friend- Cinderpaw (the medicine cat apprentice at the time) were the first to reach me. My father followed and so did the rest of the Clan. When I looked up to see my mother over my sister's body... I felt so much anger... I didn't think she deserved to be there. Not when she had neglected my sister and I just as much as my father had. Not when she didn't have a relationship with Quietpaw."

"I... I didn't care who was watching. I didn't care who was there. I just- I did the only thing I thought of and went to attack her. Cinderpaw held me back and I attacked her instead... until I realized who I was attacking. I stopped and... and hugged her. I think that's when my body finally relaxed... I went to the medicine den a little while after that... after I made sure her body would not be moved from the clearing."

"I didn't clean any of the blood off my fur for moons. It was an absolute mess, but... I- I couldn't look at my chest without thinking of her death. Without thinking of what we both went through. I rarely drank water... just so I didn't have to look at my reflection." Crowpaw readjusted himself and laid on his side to stretch out his hind legs. "T-then... I- I got apprenticed to Sootfur- y'know... the cat I thought (and still think) who's at fault for my sister being out there. He took a small patrol, consisting of his mate and another warrior named Sorreldust, out of camp to kill the fox that killed my sister. I tried to go with them, but Sootfur refused- no matter how much I tried to convince him. We argued... and in the end, they left without me."

Looking back, it was reasonable to be left behind. Crowpaw's mind was just too clouded at the time to see any sort of reason. "I was... pissed. But what could I do? Nothing... just sit in camp. Time went by and Cinderpaw hosted a battle training event. Thinking of it as the perfect opportunity to learn how to fight, because I didn't want to learn anything Sootfur taught me at the time, I participated in it. It would at least get me one step closer to warrior hood."

"A moon later- a moon- passed since the fox and my sister's death. And one day... I just happen to look over at my mother. Her stomach was twice the size it usually was." Crowpaw spat the words as if they were venom. "While I was mourning the loss of my sister... refusing to take care of myself... mind you- I was mourning without any sort of comfort from anyone- my mother and father decided to have another litter. They didn't even discuss it with me... t-they just- they did it. As if my feelings didn't matter in the situation."

"I was... I was beyond pissed with the both of them. It felt like my sisters were being replaced. And I couldn't do anything about it. Not a single damn thing. My mother moved to the nursery... and not long after, she kitted. I was with her when she was kitting. Not my father! No... he was off doing his own thing like he always did. My mother gave birth to my brothers: Bluetkit and Archkit; and my sister: Bluekit. My brothers died as soon as they were born. And my mother? S-she only had enough time to name them all... b-before she died. And because she was dead... she couldn't feed my youngest sister. S-so I- I called Thrushfur over... a-and... a-and he was just as sad I was that Quailfur was gone. H-he didn't s-say it... but I knew he blamed her death on my little sister. He was angry... as soon as he saw my youngest sister, his anger showed. He told me to take care of 'it'... didn't care what I did. He just told me to take care of 'it' and help him get the bodies out of the nursery."

Crowpaw paused for many moments, gathering what little strength he had to not bury his head in the sand and cry it out as he had done so many times before. "I gave Bluekit to a queen and did as he asked. Once that was all over... things got much worse between us. A moon passed and then disaster struck for everyone. Sparrowstar disappeared and Thrushfur was renamed Thrushstar. He chose Bumblebreak as his deputy. Not long after that, ThunderClan's camp was swallowed up by the forest. Everyone was being evacuated... and me, being the cat I am... took my nest with me as I tried to exit the camp with the others. When Quietpaw died, I had merged my nest with hers so I could remember her scent."

"Bluekit... s-she wanted to be with Thrushstar. Naturally, of course. Why wouldn't she? She was his one-moon-old daughter. Thrushstar took one look at her... and walked away. Admist all the chaos and the camp collapsing on itself- he left a kit, his daughter, alone to be at the mercy of everyone else even though he had the full capability to grab her. Everyone else was busy trying to help each other- they didn't have time to grab a kit. I was the last one to leave camp... because I was trying to make my way to my sister. A- a few m-moments later... the holes in the camp got bigger. The camp entrance was just about ready to be swallowed. S-so I grabbed her by the s-scruff... and ran as fast as I could."

"ThunderClan was just walking away to settle down and count everyone. Only a few Clanmates saw me running to get out of danger. The camp entrance was swallowed just before I got to it... the only option left for me? I had to jump to survive. So... so I did. I- I was absolutely terrified... I didn't know if I'd make it or not. It was the only chance I could get though. We made it, of course... I sprained my ankle and Bluekit was knocked out of my mouth, but she was all right."

Crowpaw stopped crying then and sighed. "But the worst wasn't over. I grabbed Bluekit again and limped over to Sundust and Cinderpaw. Sundust was busy, but Cinderpaw wrapped up my ankle and made sure Bluekit was okay. Once I was able to, I went straight to my father. I was... I was fuming- and w-why wouldn't I? My father left my sister to die. I confronted him. Right there. I was yelling at him... everyone looked at us and watched as my father and I argued. I didn't care whether they were sick of us fighting. I just cared about how my father managed to be one of the worst fathers out there." His voice lowered to a whisper. "D-during... that argument... Thrushstar decided enough was enough. He disowned me... in front of everyone. Disowned my innocent little sister and put me in charge of her care. He said he didn't care whether I left or if I stayed. When I told him I was staying because Quietpaw's grave is in ThunderClan, he gave me permission to dig out her grave and take it with me to RiverClan, where I said I would have left to if it weren't for my dead sister because I was so miserable. I said RiverClan specifically because of Pondwhisker.... y'know, my grandpaw. My father's father."

"At this point... I thought he was crazy. I refused to dig out Quietpaw's grave... it would b-be so disrespectful to her sacrifice. B-because had it not been for her, that fox would have killed me. She pushed me out of the way. I think- right there... most of ThunderClan understood my side of the story. I... I gained a lot of respect from my Clamates that day. Sootfur decided to be mine and Bluekit's starfather. Pebblepaw- another friend of mine- she offered her family to be my adopted family. Goldenpaw... he wasn't my friend, he was Pebblepaw's friend though. He said I shouldn't have said anything when I did because we had all lost our camp. Because of his constant rude attitude, and the comment, I walked up to him and smacked his face... then I walked away t-to... to... to let it all out in peace."

"... I lost both my parents... my whole family aside from Bluekit, in the span of two- maybe three moons." But Crowpaw was not done yet. There was still more to cover. "Thrushstar ended up disappearing and then Bumblebreak became Bumblestar. A... half a moon or so later, Sootfur disappeared. I was the only one to take care of Bluekit... so that's what I did- until one day... s-she was no where to be found. I went to go find her... but I didn't. So... when I returned to the camp, I took as much prey as I could carry and left to be on my own for a bit. I was still in the territory... but hidden away from everyone. When I ran out of food, I returned to ThunderClan. After that the whole... the whole Clan changed, and I can't decide if it was for the better or worst."