[Captain]

 

Originally Posted by birdie

Fawnpaw
Just as she knew he would, Pikestar was making his way over and lying down across from her. She didn't protest as he pulled the kit closer to him, her blank gaze watching as he cradled the kit close to him. Cold. Lifeless. Never to move again. The medicine cat felt another scream bubble up into her throat but she shoved it further down, letting it rip away at her throat as it passed.

For a moment her jaw opened and closed, a couple times, unable to find the words to describe the scene she had stumbled upon. How he had been so, so still. There had been some blood, but not much. A bite mark to his spine which was concealed by his fur. No signs of struggle (which, maybe was a good thing meaning he hadn't passed with too much pain? No, that was just a lie in which Fawnpaw told herself to offer false comfort which she did not deserve).

Swallowing back the tightness in her throat, she finally managed to lift her eyes to meet Pikestar's single one, and right as she did she felt a fresh wave of tears. "It's my fault." Stars, was her voice that hoarse? How long had she screamed in the forest?? "It - I - I couldn't fix his l-leg-" she snapped her jaw shut as a squeak of guilt betrayed her, whiskers quivering, "-...and he went out... I found him just, lying there, and there was this strange scent." Lying there not moving. Not smiling. Not laughing. Why did it feel so hot all of a sudden?

A hiccup and then Fawnpaw couldn't take it anymore. She buried her face into her paws and wrapped her tail up as tight as she could, her shaking much more visible. "It's my fault. StarClan chose wrong, Pikestar. I - I can't protect anyone." Her paws became damp with the tears that continued to fall as she made herself as small as possible.

[ @thepirateking ]

PIKESTAR
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➣ Never before had Pikestar held a kitten after they had passed. He had been present at Talonkit’s burial all those moons ago, but the dark-furred tomcat never saw the young tom’s body nor learned what had happened much later. The oriental had shed tears that day, but this seemed to break him even more, having to cradle a young life that was not faded. A tiny, cold, stiff lump of fur that would never move or make a sound again. If the RiverClan leader could go back in time and sacrifice one of his own lives to undo this, he would do so without hesitation. Pikestar couldn’t tear his eye away from Weedkit as Fawnpaw fought to find the words to explain what happened. However, after a moment, she lifted her head and they managed to catch her gaze. It didn’t shock him that the young medicine cat blamed herself. Anyone with a heart would do that in a situation like this. But that would not keep Pikestar from trying to steer Fawnpaw away from that thinking. No matter happened.

“It is not your fault.” The RiverClan leader remarked, his voice stern as he held Weedkit, “Fawnpaw, look at me. Right now.” He shoved down the pain and grief that his heart felt for the young kitten and now focused on making sure he didn’t lose the small molly in the process. “You did all you could for him. I know you did.” She found him lying out there in the forest, a strange scent around Weedkit. Pikestar bent down and sniffed the small body. It was mostly Fawnpaw’s scent that covered him now, but there was no sign of a predator. Badger, fox, coyote, even possibly a twoleg’s dog.. No, nothing like that. Those scents were strong and didn’t leave a cat’s fur right away. Which left… “There is something more sinister behind all of this.” He meowed, looking at the distraught medicine cat across from him, “And I will not stop until I figure out the answer.” None of this was Fawnpaw’s fault or doing. Not at all. Pikestar knew this and believed it with his entire heart and soul.

Picking up the small kitten in his mouth, the long-furred tomcat stood up and then turned his body so that he was right next to Fawnpaw. From there, he laid down, brushing his pelt against her own. Resting Weedkit in his large paws again, Pikestar looked down at the poor young shecat that laid beside him, crying and hiding herself away from the world. “You are the best medicine cat that StarClan ever could’ve given me, Fawnpaw, and I don’t want anyone to tell you otherwise. I am going to see to it that we all get through this… together as a family.” Pikestar licked the top of her head, the space between her ears, to comfort her. They needed to do something about all this. Before it got any worse. “Please believe me. I’m here for you. Always will be, I promise.” An anxious feeling stirred in his gut, but remained strong for both of them.