Goldenstep’s heart dropped. She was trying to appeal to the heart of a heartless cat. She wanted to cry, hopelessness settling heavily in her stomach. Her legs wobbled unsteadily, the blood was staining her golden pelt. Her patch job she’d done after the fox fight was as good as useless, useless strands of cobweb clung to her staining pelt. Her eyes flew open as Cougarivy’s relentless attack continued. She tried to brace herself for the impact, knowing she didn’t have the strength to get out of the way quick enough, but Cougarivy’s momentum pushed Goldenstep over easily. She clawed desperately, hardly feeling the claws scoring her own pelt. She didn’t know how much she had left in her but she had to leave her former apprentice with enough to think against going after her kits. But in the midst of it all a lump lodged in Goldenstep’s throat. Ashpaw, Burningkit, and Sorrelkit were still in Shadowclan and Sunsetpaw was going back, would Cougarivy take out her revenge on them as well? She felt sick, her claws tearing Cougarivy’s shoulder only worsened the nausea. She didn’t want to fight but her claws worked desperately trying to preserve her own life, at least whatever little time she had left.
Goldenstep wasn’t sure if Cougarivy initiated it or it was pure luck, but the two split apart as their tumble slowed. Goldenstep’s body hit the ground limply. Her mind spun but her body felt numb, slashed and battered, cold. She pulled a weak paw under her chest and tried to push against the ground but her leg shook and gave out, sending her back down into the ground.
Forgive me.
All of her life choices spun through her mind. How had she ended up here? She’d had such a wonderful kithood, idolizing Lilyleap, loving Gingercry dearly, cherishing Loonfeather. All she’d ever wanted was a family of her own. She remembered the first time she’d seen Elmshadow. He was so stoic, strong, self-assured, loyal. He was respectable. Who better to have a respectable family with than a strong and loyal warrior like Elmshadow? Was that where everything had gone wrong? At the very first glance? Or could her and Elmshadow have made it? Could she have done something differently?
Oh Elmshadow, Despite it all, the one cat she wanted to see now more than any was Elmshadow. She wanted him to assure her, even if they were all honey-coated lies. He wanted him to tell her he’d always loved her, Cougarivy had been nothing, she wanted his presence, his comfort. She let the tears fall then.
@
Ravensong [all PP approved, you can give the fatal blow]