[Ziera]

// TW: gore-ish elements. @Willowfern

 

Originally Posted by Ziera

Brightpaw’s eyes bulged in surprise when his paw made contact with Splashleap—even just barely. He landed a blow!? No way. Relief surged through his veins and for a precious moment in time, despite Bright’s awkward size and setbacks in training, he didn’t feel like the most disappointing apprentice in RiverClan.

The black tom was too excited to move into a ready position afterwards, even though the deputy was already rounding on him. “Did you see that? I—” Wait. What??

Bright saw Splashleap turn as her claws slid out and if cats were able, he would’ve paled. Did he miss something? What did he do wrong? Anxiety spiked and in the heat of the moment, Brightpaw didn’t notice the unfamiliar scent of ‘badger’.

…At least not till Splash’s shrill warning, which reverberated in his ears and shook him to his core. Brightpaw gasped when he saw it. He’d never faced one before. It was a striped creature, flat-shaped with massive claws and two beady black eyes full of such unbridled fury that Bright failed to suppress a shudder.

He…he couldn’t move.

Why couldn't he move?

Snap out of it Bright, you idiot, GO! Even though every part of him was screaming, begging him to act, Brightpaw’s brain failed to motivate the rest of him; large paws stayed rooted to the earth while the apprentice’s expression was of picture of terror. What else could he do but helplessly watch the scene unfold? Nothing, nothing, he was useless when it counted, useless useless useless - !!

…Bright might have stayed like that (reeling) if not for Splashleap. Watching the badger’s claws tear through the deputy’s shoulder snapped him out of his haze like being dunked in ice water.

“No! Splashleap, be careful, please!” He shouted, voice trembling with fear but no, this was no time to be afraid. Brightpaw steeled himself with the little courage he had left because he couldn’t just stand there and wait for RiverClan’s deputy to get shredded.

Sucking in a panicked breath, Bright tried his hardest to concentrate. He dipped down so his chest fur rubbed the earth, coiling momentum and aiming for the badger’s … neck. Stars.

Oh, he was downright ridiculous, wasn’t he? Feeling a split second hesitation at the thought of killing a creature who would kill him without a second thought? Hopeless, Brightpaw could almost heard his brother scolding. No…he couldn’t think of Stormtalon now, couldn’t think of all the ways his brother had been right.

Bright’s heart hammered with the blood in his ears. Now or never. Splashleap needed backup. He was the only option; there was no one else, it was up to him, and Bright was going to do this. When the time came he didn’t think, just launched himself toward the snarling creature and hoped to StarClan its reflexes weren’t as quick as Splashleap’s.

Tears stung Bright’s eyes as he fastened needle-like claws into the earth, pulled himself just a little bit closer to camp’s entrance. Desperation tasted like copper in his mouth; it pooled in the back of his throat because he couldn't make himself swallow.

In the end it didn’t matter. None of it did, and Brightpaw shouldn’t be surprised. Delusional. Why did he think he could play hero—someone brave, capable, strong—someone like his brother? That’s not you. It was never gonna be you. Too plump, too slow, too useless for a warrior name, that’s the truth and you should have...you should have accepted it before you did something this stupid.

His deepest fears (usually buried ten feet deep in a mind full of positivity, the most vibrant colors of happiness and wonder) roamed free, rocked him to his core and screeched so LOUD the only other thing Bright heard was his own irregular breathing, faint, quick, gasping, faint again—

The sight of blood petrified Brightpaw. It always had, ever since he was a wide-eyed kit in the nursery hiding from his first piece of fresh kill, a mangled, gruesome-looking bird from a botched apprentice hunt. The unnatural red-coated feathers...they hurt him to look at back then. They hurt him now.

Bright knew and that's why he couldn't look. He smelled the trail of his own blood, the same thick sick scent from back then permeating his scent-glands even if he rejected it, and what if it was bad? What if seeing made it real? It felt off. Bright’s left hindleg refused to budge no matter how tirelessly he tried to move it; the limb dragged over moss and leaves as if it were asleep, heavy as a rock. Other stuff felt weird too but it was all muddled together and he just couldn’t look.

Snarling, teeth, more strength than Brightpaw ever felt in his life, a resounding CRACK. Red…red. It took him too long to realize he was bleeding out, not the badger. Why was he thinking of those feathers again?

Medicine. He needed…he needed uh… it got a lot harder to breathe. But he was almost there, a few fox-lengths away from clanmates who could make this go away, so close to help. Brightpaw hauled himself another step forward, ears slicked back with what felt like sweat. Why did he attack it? What on earth possessed him.

“S-Snakeheart…” This croaking, feeble voice that didn’t sound feline—was it really coming from Bright’s maw? "Snakeheart!"

Shock must be fading now because the pain set in, engulfed him, beat him against the edge of consciousness. Dark spikes extended like the arms of a sea urchin in every corner of his vision. For a moment Bright believed he’d pass out, was so sure the dark was seconds away from swallowing him whole.

Crumbling to the forest floor, the young tom's chest stuttered and StarClan, was this a heart attack?? His...his paws didn't work anymore. Brightpaw couldn't move; he was frozen in place. Just like when he saw the badger. He should call for Snakeheart again, he needed a medicine cat. He needed help. But – deep inside, Bright must’ve realized something he couldn’t consciously understand, because the next name the apprentice murmured wasn’t Snake’s: it was his brother’s.

Stormtalon...make it go away.

And then...nothing. A wave of nothing.