Gladepaw
long-furred, scarred, dark brown classic tabby with amber eyes
purrks: n/a
she/they | rc apprentice | 6 moons

---

The morning sun filtered down in lazy gold ribbons, dappling the clearing with warmth… but Gladepaw felt none of it. She sat awkwardly near the edge of camp, paw lifted like it had betrayed her. Her brow was furrowed in concentration, nose almost pressed to her foot as she examined the small, sharp sliver of wood wedged deep into her paw pad. It didn’t look like much, being just a splinter, but stars, it hurt. More than she thought it would. Every time she put pressure on it, a sharp stab lanced up her leg and made her want to curl into herself and disappear. She had tried, for the better part of an hour, to ignore it. But the swelling wasn’t going away, and no matter how hard she bit her lip or told herself it was nothing, it still felt like a thorn digging right into her bones. Which meant one thing. The medicine den. Her chest tightened just thinking about it. She’d never really been inside before. Not for herself. She wasn’t the kind of apprentice who got into fights or tumbled over cliffs or bragged about her battle wounds. She usually kept to the edges. Her thoughts were always louder than her voice. But now? Now she had to walk into the den where Berryshine worked and ask for help. Gladepaw gulped and stood on three paws, limping slightly as she made her way across the clearing. Her ears burned with embarrassment even though no one was looking at her.

The scent of herbs drifted ahead of her: cool, sharp, and earthy. It wrapped around her before she even ducked into the den. “U-Um…” Her voice came out too quiet and breathy, words helplessly dangling in her throat. She swallowed and tried again, ears angled back, gaze focused somewhere near the floor. “B-Berryshine…? I…um, s-sorry. I think I… I got a s-splinter. In m-my paw. I-it’s not that bad, I-I mean, probably… probably not bad a-at all, really, I-I didn’t wanna bother you, it’s j-just-” She broke off, wincing as she accidentally put pressure on the paw. The pain flared hot and sharp again, and she sucked in a breath, blinking fast. “I-I didn’t know where else to g-go.” She stood at the threshold, one paw lifted and tail curled in, her voice a soft stammer and her eyes wide with that familiar glaze of worry. As if she was already bracing for the disappointment that hadn’t come yet.

@squidz (owo also sorry not my greatest starter ahaha)

A stammering voice broke through Berryshine's concentration.

She'd been sifting through her herb stores, counting up the return of the recent patrols. What was needed for next time, and how much she had of the essentials... that sort of thing. But a voice that was less familiar to her ears hit her, and she glanced over her shoulder to see a young apprentice cautiously entering. At once her eyes softened, catching Gladepaw's nerves and sheepishness. The 'paw was either nervous or uncomfortable to enter the medicine den for the first time, and Berryshine herself always cared about making her patients feel comfortable.

Didn't want to bother her... Berryshine shook her head, her tone as soft as her expression, giving Gladepaw a little smile. "O-Oh, no... you're not bothering me at all. This is my job, remember?" A small purr left the medic's throat, hoping to ease the apprentice as she padded over, stopping in front of her. She carefully examined the paw held gingerly in the air; the swelling and irritation from the splinter was clear, and the medic felt a sympathy pang in her chest. Those little buggers were small, but enough to ruin your day, as she knew from experience.

"Hmm... l-looks painful. I'm glad you came to me... i-if you leave stuff like this alone for too long, it c-can get worse. It's always good to come here w-whether you're sure you need to or not, okay? It's no trouble, I promise." Her green eyes were earnest as she gave Gladepaw an encouraging glance. It was like looking at a younger version of herself for a moment, timid and shaky, not wanting to burden anyone with anything. Berryshine just hoped to be a safe space for cats like that; she knew well how it felt.

Carefully taking Gladepaw's injured paw in her own, Berryshine angled it so that she got a proper view of the splinter. It was engrained deeply into the paw pad... she hummed in thought before sitting back on her haunches, using both forepaws to try and hold Gladepaw's leg steady.

"A-Alright... this'll hurt, but I'll do it as quickly a-and carefully as I can, okay? I promise." The medicine cat would pause for a moment to ensure that Gladepaw understood before leaning down, carefully fastening her teeth around the shard of wood. Then in one quick motion, she yanked, removing it from the paw pad.

A wad of moss had preemptively been carried over, knowing how splinters could be. At once Berryshine took the soft, cushy plant and pressed it gingerly to the pad, where blood would be trickling from the small but pesky wound. The pressure could even be comforting against the sting with these sorts of things. She'd make sure it'd stop bleeding first, then apply something to the small indent left behind to patch it up. Her eyes flitted back up to Gladepaw's, giving a sympathetic smile.

"T-That wasn't so bad, was it?" Hopefully not.

Gladepaw
long-furred, scarred, dark brown classic tabby with amber eyes
purrks: n/a
she/they | rc apprentice | 6 moons

---

She flinched a little when Berryshine touched her paw, not because it hurt more (though stars, it did), but because it meant this was really happening. There was no backing out once someone else was involved. She held her breath as the medicine cat examined her pad, trying not to squirm or make a sound, even when the muscles in her leg tensed on their own. But when Berryshine spoke, her voice didn’t carry the imposing weight Gladepaw had been bracing for. There was no acerbity, no exasperation, no “you should’ve come sooner” or “what were you thinking?”. Just warmth, kindness, and patience. That, somehow, made her eyes sting a little more than the pain did. She nodded slowly at the warning, a tight, jerky motion that betrayed her nerves. Her ears flattened slightly at the mention of pain, but she didn’t pull away. “O-okay,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the rustle of moss and herbs around them. Her tail curled tighter around her flank, and she squeezed her eyes shut, bracing as if for an incoming blow. Then… sharp. A bite of pain that bloomed bright and fast before beginning to dull. Her breath caught in her throat with a soft hiss, but she didn’t cry out. She just clamped her jaw shut, shoulders tight and rigid, trying to focus on anything else: the smell of herbal mixtures in the air, the distant chatter from the clearing, the coolness of stone beneath her good paw.

And then… it was over. Just like that. The pressure of the moss against her pad was surprising, but not unwelcome. It grounded her, somehow, the soft, cool texture almost soothing in contrast to the heat still flaring in her paw. She cracked her eyes open again, cautiously glancing down at the wound and the bit of crimson soaking into the moss. Her ears twitched, her toes flexing themselves instinctively as if to check to see if they were still moveable. “I-it... I-It didn’t hurt too much,” she mumbled, as if she had to reassure Berryshine more than herself. She glanced up quickly, then back down again, her face hot. “T-thank you…” Her voice trailed off into the quiet of the den, but the words still felt too loud in her mouth. Like maybe she wasn’t supposed to say them. Like maybe gratitude was something you earned the right to give. She sat still for a moment longer, letting herself breathe now that the worst part was over. The pain had dulled to a manageable throb, and the swelling already felt less sharp with the pressure of the moss. A moment passed before she found the courage to speak again. Her voice was quieter, though. Less from pain, and more from thought. “W-were you... d-doing something i-important?” she asked, ears angling back slightly, as if afraid of the answer. She glanced toward the back of the den, where bundles of herbs were neatly arranged in rows and tucked into nooks along the walls.

“I-I didn’t mean to interrupt. I j-just… I wasn’t sure what else t-to do.” She didn’t know why she asked. Maybe it was just easier to talk about what Berryshine was doing than to sit in silence with her own embarrassment. She studied the herbs for a moment, eyes flicking from one bundle to the next. She didn’t know what any of them were called, not the way Berryshine must. But it was clear how much care went into the work. Everything was clean and ordered, like a system she couldn’t quite see but felt in the way the air moved around the place. It smelled like sharp herbs and damp moss and something a little spicy that made her nose twitch. “H-how do you know what each one does?” she asked suddenly, blinking owlishly up at Berryshine. The question had slipped out before she could stop it. “I mean… there’s s-so many. D-don’t they all k-kind of look the s-s-same after a wh-while?” Her voice was still hesitant, but there was a flicker of genuine curiosity behind it. A small thread of wonder. She didn’t usually ask questions like that - didn’t want to sound stupid - but Berryshine didn’t make her feel stupid. Not even a little.

@squidz ( :spinning: )

Berryshine's gaze was soft as she observed Gladepaw. The poor thing looked shaken but appreciative. She hoped she didn't spook the 'paw too badly, but she seemed alright. She gave Gladepaw a little nod and chewed up a small poultice of herbs — a bit of coltsfoot and marigold, to protect the small cut from any infection and to soothe the pained paw pad. She dipped the clean end of the moss ball into it and dabbed it onto the wound now that the bleeding had stemmed.

"Hm...?" Green eyes flickered up to amber as the apprentice asked her a question. Had she been doing something important? Berryshine smiled warmly, shaking her head. "N-No, no... well, technically yes, b-but nothing that needed to be done right this moment. I was just counting all the herbs t-that the recent patrols brought me, to see how much I have of each. Y-You know, to figure out what I'll send for next time," she explained, her eyes back to Gladepaw's paw as she gently dabbed the moss ball. Once it was properly coated, she took a wad of cobweb, binding it around the paw a few times. Just tight enough that hopefully it'd stay for a bit, even when paws were constantly walked on.

"Be sure to be careful with that paw — try to keep weight off of it, s-so you don't disturb the cobweb. But it s-should be fine to have off after you sleep on it for a day or two," the medic added. Splinter cuts tended to close up pretty fast, but this one had been particularly large; in order for it to heal faster, Gladepaw should probably keep from putting pressure on it whenever she could. But it shouldn't take more than two days to close up, in Berry's mind.

Then, she focused on Gladepaw's next words, and shook her head again with that same smile. "O-Oh, no, you did the right thing. If you're ever unsure, even just a little, y-you should still come to me." The medicine cat flicked her tail as if in confirmation of her words. She was amused and endeared to see the way that the 'paw took in the state of the den: the rows of herbs, the pungent smells, the organization... it was probably overwhelming to the nose for her first time here.

But then, at her other questions, the small brown molly felt her gaze soften a bit more. It was always nice to have a curious patient; she loved answering questions when it came to her main hobby, of course. With a purr, Berryshine nodded knowingly, acknowledging Gladepaw's very real concern over the amount of herbs.

"Y-Yes, there are quite a bit... a-and learning their different names, uses, and even their smells can take awhile," she noted thoughtfully, glancing at the orderly piles of herbs. "There are some that a-are very similar, and it's important to distinguish them by characteristics... as small as something like if their leaves a-are rounded or pointy," she went on, flicking her tail at two herbs in particular: parsley, and chervil. Both of them looked nearly identical except for the slightly different leaf shape.

"That's why it's important to devote t-time and effort into studying them. And... t-thankfully, over time, they don't all start blending together... if they do, t-that's how I know I'm having too long of a day," she added after a moment with a mrrow of amusement. Just a little joke.

Gladepaw
long-furred, scarred, dark brown classic tabby with amber eyes
purrks: n/a
she/they | rc apprentice | 6 moons

---

Gladepaw watched closely as Berryshine worked, though her gaze would dart away every so often in an instinctive flick of nervous habit. The careful movements of the medicine cat were almost mesmerizing. She didn’t flinch when the poultice touched her pad, though she winced when it sank into the more sensitive edges of the wound. It stung, but not in a way that felt wrong. More like the kind of pain that promised it was doing something good. Her whiskers wriggled slightly as she tried not to move, limbs still locked in that half-tense posture even though Berryshine’s touch was gentle. When the older molly spoke, Gladepaw's ears flicked forward, surprise fluttering across her face. She really hadn’t been busy? Or, well, she had, but she wasn’t angry that Gladepaw had interrupted. That tiny reassurance settled like a warm stone in the pit of her stomach, pushing back just a sliver of the anxious tightness coiled in her chest. “O-oh… o-okay. I-I just didn’t w-wanna mess up anything,” she murmured, eyes dipping down again as Berryshine began to wrap the cobwebs gently around her paw. The soft, sticky tug of the cobwebs made her twitch slightly, but she forced herself to stay still, determined not to be difficult. She didn’t want to be the kind of apprentice who squirmed or whined or made things harder for someone who was already being so kind. Still, the corners of her mouth turned downward as she focused hard on keeping her breathing at ease, her good paw digging lightly into the moss beneath her for something to anchor to.

She gave a faint nod to the instructions, her ears angling slightly back in concentration. Keep weight off it. Don’t mess up the cobwebs. Two days. Got it. That was doable. She could do that… probably. Her face scrunched slightly as doubt crept in again, but Berryshine’s voice pushed it back. When the medicine cat reassured her again, saying she’d done the right thing, Gladepaw blinked slowly. As if it hadn’t fully processed the first time. Her eyes lifted hesitantly to Berryshine’s, then dropped again as a flicker of emotion twisted tight in her throat. Something between embarrassment and relief. No one ever said that. Not out loud, anyway. Not to her. She tried to speak but found her throat oddly tight, so instead she just gave a small, jerky nod, her tail curling a little tighter around her flank. The feather-soft reassurance in Berryshine’s tone wasn’t just comforting; it felt rare. Like a warm spot in a leaf-bare forest. She didn’t know how to say that, though, not without sounding weird. So she stayed quiet, gaze now drawn to the two herbs Berryshine had motioned toward. Her eyes widened a bit as she studied them. They really did look almost the same, and she leaned slightly closer, tilting her head with a faint crease in her brow. “T-that’s so… I-I mean, I don’t think I c-could ever remember all of th-that,” she admitted, ears twitching back in a sheepish flick.

“Th-they look so close… b-but you just know what they are. Just l-like that.” She glanced up again, blinking slowly. “I-it’s kinda like… like w-warrior stuff, right? You have to p-practice a lot before it feels r-right?” Her voice went quiet again, but no longer afraid - just thoughtful. Then, after a moment, she added more hesitantly, “…D-does it ever get… easier? W-when you’re not good at s-s-something right away?” Her claws flexed a little in the moss. “I-I’m trying. I really am. I just—" she faltered, ears flicking. “—It’s hard not t-to feel like I’m still behind everyone else. L-like th-they’re getting it, and I’m just… still stuck.” Her voice didn’t shake as much this time. Maybe because she wasn’t expecting Berryshine to snap at her.

@squidz (didn't like writing this a while lot; feels clunky, but i hope it sounds okay!)

"Oh, no no... y-you didn't mess up a thing," the medicine cat assured, eyes crinkled into a warm smile. One of the last things she wanted was for her patients to feel like burdens; it was her job to cater to them, after all. Berryshine was happy to pause whenever with whatever to help a cat in need.

The reaction to being told she did the right thing didn't escape the medic's eye, though Berry thought maybe she was still just a bit shaky from the splinter. Still, it seemed like Gladepaw was feeling comfortable here all things considered, and that was great to see.

When the apprentice commented that she wasn't sure if she could remember all of it, Berryshine let out a soft purr of amusement. "I-It certainly isn't for everyone, but y-you know what? I thought the same thing as you, w-when I first started. All it takes is time a-and practice, like most good things," the medicine cat reasoned with an encouraging glance. "Like you said, y-you keep practicing until it feels right? T-That's how a lot of my job is. It took a long time to g-get here, and even then, I have to refresh m-my memory sometimes. You never stop learning a-and honing in your skills, you know? Even Owlstar has to spar to s-stay in shape."

Then, Gladepaw asked if it ever got easier. Berryshine nodded, her expression soft and understanding. "Oh, yes, a-absolutely... there were times w-where I was convinced that I'd never get a technique down. But in time, y-you get better, older, stronger... and hopefully wiser," she mewed with a little chuckle. Her skinny tail then reached up, resting in a comforting gesture on Gladepaw's shoulder. "I've felt t-the same as you, plenty of times. But I-I've learned that you just have to keep at it, a-and don't worry about comparing yourself to the others... you'll become a warrior in y-your own time, at your own pace. Some cats get things faster t-than others, but that doesn't mean they'll be better warriors i-in the end. Your heart is just as important, i-if not more, than your skill."

Gladepaw
long-furred, scarred, dark brown classic tabby with amber eyes
purrks: n/a
she/they | rc apprentice | 6 moons

---

The tabby stayed quiet for a few heartbeats, her gaze focused on the moss beneath her paw where her claws had left faint little grooves. The poundage of Berryshine’s words lingered in the air around her, sinking in like rain into dry earth. It felt strange, hearing that kind of reassurance spoken aloud. Gladepaw had always told herself things would get better if she just kept trying, but hearing someone else say it… It made something ache behind her ribs in a way she couldn’t quite name. She blinked slowly, her lashes fluttering as she tried to gather her thoughts. Her throat still felt tight, but not like before; not with fear or embarrassment, but with the overwhelming sense that she wanted to believe Berryshine. That maybe… she could. She shifted slightly on the moss, her curled tail twitching near the tip, like it was trying to speak in place of her. “I… I w-want to b-b-believe that,” she murmured at last, her voice barely brushing the air between them. “I r-really do. S-Sometimes it j-just feels like… like e-everyone else has a-a-already figured th-things out, a-and I’m still trying to not t-t-trip over my own paws.” Her ears angled backward, not in shame, but in frustration at herself, mostly. There was a beat of silence as she kneaded lightly into the moss again, the grooves deepening beneath her pads. She wasn’t even sure why it was so hard to talk about this.

Maybe because no one usually asked. Or because, when they did, it always felt like they were just waiting for her to say she was fine so they could move on. “But… h-hearing you s-s-say that, it… h-helps,” she said, and she meant it. Her amber eyes lifted briefly to Berryshine’s face, then dropped again just as quickly. “It’s n-not just th-the training. It’s l-like…” She trailed off, chewing her lip a moment before she dared to continue. “Sometimes I-I feel like I don’t f-fit. Like I’m… too soft, or too weird, or not e-enough of wh-whatever I’m supposed to-to be. Everyone e-else just… knows how to t-talk to each o-other. They laugh, they sh-share tongues, they train together like it’s e-easy. And I-I watch. I always watch. I t-try to learn it. But it never feels like I’m doing it right.” Stars, she felt so exposed saying all of that aloud. Like she’d peeled back a layer of her fur and laid her whole self bare for someone else to see. Her breath caught, and for a singular beat she worried she’d gone too far - that Berryshine would tilt her head in that way adults did when they didn’t know what to say, offer some vague comfort, and move on. Or, that she’d pity her, and Gladepaw didn’t want pity. She just… wanted to not feel alone in the way she felt.

Her tail tip gave another anxious twitch before curling tighter around her flank. She looked down at her bandaged paw again, suddenly very aware of the warmth where Berryshine’s tail rested against her shoulder. It was a soft gesture, but comforting, like like an anchor in a river current. “I-I know it s-sounds… silly,” she mumbled, ears flattening slightly. “Th-there’s cats with b-bigger problems… r-real ones, a-and I know th-they don’t mean to m-make me feel like this, but… I j-just end up watching from th-the edge a lot. L-like if I talk, I’ll s-say something wrong, or w-weird, or like… mess up what th-they’re doing.” Her whiskers gave a tired twitch. “S-sometimes it f-feels easier to just… be q-quiet. Even if it’s l-lonely.” She hesitated, brow furrowing as she tried to find the words for what she meant. Something that didn’t sound childish or like she was just whining. But the truth was, it hurt. Not just the lonely parts, but the trying-so-hard-and-still-feeling-like-you-were-falling-behind parts. And even though she didn’t know how to say all that perfectly, she wanted to try. For once, she wanted to stop swallowing it down. “…I d-don’t wanna give up, th-though,” she added, her voice growing soft. “I really d-don’t. I-I wanna be someone the c-clan c-can count on. Even if I don’t l-look like it yet. Even if I mess up sometimes, or f-fall behind. I wanna keep t-trying. I just…” Her shoulders lifted in a slight shrug. “I j-just wanna know th-that’s enough. That it’s okay not to… h-have it all t-together yet.”

@squidz