https://f2.toyhou.se/file/f2-toyhou-...aP4OD10k3K.png
SQUIRRELPAW
she/her. 10 moons. small russet molly with brown markings and yellow eyes.

the weather was getting warmer; newleaf already here and greenleaf soon to come. squirrelpaw wasn't entirely sure if she was very excited for it - thick and fluffy fur only seemed to trap heat and make her feel flammable. thank starclan I don't have to shiver anymore, though.., she thinks with a small sigh as she steps outside of the apprentices den. goodbye leafbare. hello newleaf. she dreads what could come next, good and bad.

yellow gaze drifting across the clearing, it catches a cat – grousepaw – before it lands on the prey pile. then, slowly shifts back to grousepaw. wasn't he also one of mistlewhisker's apprentices? wait..how many did her mentor have, now? her, quillpaw, grousepaw..three. three apprentices. the russet molly feels stressed for mistle just thinking about it. well, I'm almost done with my training so hopefully that should help - I mean, if she is stressed..I hope she isn't! ..what..if she becomes stressed now..and i..jinxed –, she quickly shakes her head. dismissing the sadness (? she supposes she should be happy she's almost a warrior, but it freaked her out more than anything - like everything) with a flicker of her bushy tail, she reluctantly approaches grousepaw.

social interaction had become just a tad bit easier over the past moons. keywords; a tad. her heart still drummed against her chest and her mind still raced with scenarios of her embarrassing herself. her throat still ran dry, she notices, as she stands in front of the fellow apprentice. she shuffles her paws, a nervous tic.

"...hh-hello..grousepaw." squirrelpaw starts, internally screaming. "you..have..mi-mistlewhisker as..your mentor..too, r-right?" she inquires, curiosity evident in her features. to be fair, her nervousness was also very apparent in the tight frown she wore.

[ @redshiftreign ]

thick fur is high maintenance. grousepaw blamed his father for that- he had lucked out in the genetic lottery with his natural muscle tone and size (and looks, grousepaw was admittedly very, very pleased by the look of his fur. not that'd he'd ever admit something so superficial.), he had the misfortune of thick fur. which meant it was hot as hell and twice as uncomfortable as the days got longer and nights grew shorter. he always preferred the cover of night. because it meant freedom and quiet in an oppressive and loud world.

night was thick in shadowclan. viscous even, like fog rolling off the pelts of the inhabitants here. it was one of the few things he could think of these days that he liked here. the kinship, however fragile, between the cats of the dark. fragile it was, because one command could turn mentor against apprentice or brother against brother.

all for what? the maniacal murder-machine queen of mean? he could applaud her ability to create a stable, powerful clan, but there was a large gap between grouse and a world where he could endorse clans, let alone killing and lying to make one work. in his opinion, they were better off working together as a team, and saying 'damn leaders and damn liars'. it's all politics- there's no reason for a leader to be the leader. it's not based on any merit. it's just countless generations playing favorites and picking their best tool.

grouse yawned, catching a glimpse of russet fur as a smaller apprentice shuffled over to him. recognition flickered in his eyes briefly, head canting a bit. there was one of the other things he liked about clans- the people. the different views. the conversations.

he gave a lazy grin, "grouse's the name, yeah. you're squirrel, right?" no -paw. no suffixes in general. not to grouse- there was no reason for it but to make apprentices feel like they were less than warriors, and warriors that they were less than the leader. he wasn't going to partake in that.

"i figure you're one of mistle's other apprentices? girl has a whole gaggle of them now, huh? three, was it?" he shrugged his heavy shoulders. "i got reassigned to her not long ago." he got reassigned a lot. thanks to his devil-may-care attitude. couldn't order him to do anything without some resistance. grouse was so relaxed, so unbothered, and found existing as himself as easy as breathing. it was a stark contrast to the nervous apprentice. the same mentor, sure, but it was almost like they were living in two different worlds. squirrelpaw in one dominated by fear, consequence, and grouse in one dominated by calm spite, resentment. freedom. there was something powerful in not letting things bother you, grouse had realized young. there was something dangerous in it, too.

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SQUIRRELPAW
she/her. 10 moons. small russet molly with brown markings and yellow eyes.

the lack of -paw doesn't go unnoticed by the russet apprentice, brow arching in confusion momentarily. she doesn't make any efforts to correct grousepaw, though. just for the simple fact that she was worried she'd come off as rude. she simply sits down after a moments consideration, nodding along.

three apprentices. part of squirrelpaw wonders if mistlewhisker ever wants a break and just wants to relax for a day. she feels a pang of sympathy for the enforcer, frown deepening. "...yes..ss-she even was..assigned..one of d-dawnstar's grandkits.." great grandkits, perhaps? she's not entirely sure. she felt exhausted just remembering how many apprentices were named at the most recent meeting.

"did..your last..mentor go..mi-missing?" she questions, hesitance lingering over her like a stormcloud. hopefully it wasn't a touchy subject for the fellow apprentice. she'd been reassigned to mistlewhisker herself, she couldn't help but wonder if it was for the same reasons – mentor up and leaving.

[ @redshiftreign ]

"dawn has a lot of grandkits," grousepaw shrugged his heavy shoulders, head canting to the side. "so's i'm not terribly surprised about 'at."

studying squirrelpaw with closer scrutiny, the tip of his tail twitched in intrigue. did his mentor go missing. . . haha. no. he chuckled to himself, a lopsided grin on his face, white teeth poking out from under his muzzle pads. "somethin' like that." he answered cryptically, then conceded. "no, they decided i was too much of'a pawful and dumped me off on the nearest warrior. mistlewhisker just so happened to volunteer, thinkin' she can tame me. good luck to 'er, she'll need it." he laughed, eyes glittering with relaxed amusement. he found disobedience as easy and natural as breathing.

the most annoying part was the wedge it drove between him and his clan. hate the sin, love the sinner. shadowclan didn't abide by that moral, though. he'd seen judgement and criticism in the eyes of warriors that watched him lay lazily in the scattered sunrays, or the irritation when he brushed off his mentor for the umpteenth time. the rudeness. the harshness. part of him thought that maybe they envied him. for his mirth and his freedom. for how hard it was to tie him down, to force him to conform. another part of him knew it was just nature for cats to adapt to the world around him, and that though they had once possibly shared his vexation, they now lost their fire to the dousing of shadows and smothering of rules. it was sad. grousepaw pitied them, more than anything. he hated his clan. he loved his clanmates.

https://f2.toyhou.se/file/f2-toyhou-...aP4OD10k3K.png
SQUIRRELPAW
she/her. 10 moons. small russet molly with brown markings and yellow eyes.

that's true, squirrelpaw thinks with a small hum. dawnstar has tons of grandkits, so many that she's certain she's not aware of all of them. something rare for someone as wary as her.

her jaw drops at grousepaw's admission, mouth forming a small 'o' shape. while he doesn't seem too bothered by it, she can feel her heart shattering imagining herself in that position. she couldn't imagine mistlewhisker casting her to the side for another warrior to train her. how could someone be so..cruel?? wasn't it a warriors job to train an apprentice? she visibly deflates at the thought, head hanging low. she felt she could shed a tear or two.

"I...am sorry..," she sighs heavily. "that..ss-sounds..horrible." props to grouse, though. the molly is a little surprised at his general nonchalant attitude regarding the situation. she doubts she could ever be so..relaxed. she's just a bit envious. envy was such an icky feeling.

her head tilts to the side. did grousepaw think mistlewhisker, too, would give up and throw him to another mentor? frightening. "er..well..I don't th-think mistlewhisker..will give..up a-as easily...if - if at all." there's a short pause, "she's a..gg-great..mentor." she adds on, admiration evident in her tone. she could only pray to become half the warrior that mistlewhisker is.

[ @redshiftreign ]