A Dream or a Nightmare? [P]

[Fawnhearted]

(Note : This thread will be taking place AFTER Petunia and Seed talk, and Seed finds out her cousin is pregnant)

It felt as if it had only been a few moments since Seedheart had drifted off, but she found herself blinking her eyes open in a strange place.

It was eerily quiet, but the molly felt very calm here. The silence didn't bother her, but they were still very worried about where she was. The last thing she remembered was drifting off to sleep in the Riverclan Warriors Den. They were still getting used to that,,

The trees here were so pretty! It seemed as if the leaves were shining like stars, twinkling and shining like Silverpelt. She stared at them, mesmerizing her gaze with their beauty.

Wait,, Silverpelt, Stars? This clearing was muchto quiet and beautiful to be the Riverclan territory, besides, she couldn't recognize any of her surroundings.

"Am I in Starclan?"

Ritsuka

[Akira]

(Note : This thread will be taking place AFTER Petunia and Seed talk, and Seed finds out her cousin is pregnant)

It felt as if it had only been a few moments since Seedheart had drifted off, but she found herself blinking her eyes open in a strange place.

It was eerily quiet, but the molly felt very calm here. The silence didn't bother her, but they were still very worried about where she was. The last thing she remembered was drifting off to sleep in the Riverclan Warriors Den. They were still getting used to that,,

The trees here were so pretty! It seemed as if the leaves were shining like stars, twinkling and shining like Silverpelt. She stared at them, mesmerizing her gaze with their beauty.

Wait,, Silverpelt, Stars? This clearing was muchto quiet and beautiful to be the Riverclan territory, besides, she couldn't recognize any of her surroundings.

"Am I in Starclan?"

Ritsuka

Eelkit took in a deep breath for what had to be the twentieth time that night (maybe? He lost count on the fifteenth), his neck already tired from his movements but not preventing him from checking the area one last time, his paws shuffling anxiously beneath him. When was his visitor coming? He'd been waiting for ages! Well... Just a few minutes, most likely, but the anxiety swirling in his stomach and head made it seem much longer. Oh...

Tonight was the night. He had a special role to fulfill, one that he was admittedly not eager to do, and had been vocal and adamant about that. Unfortunately, no one cared, dumping this important task on him regardless. Why him? Why? Was it because of his status as a kit? Or how long he's been in StarClan? Was it both? Probably both, honestly. It was a rather sad task that Eelkit disliked, and one often left to older spirits, but alas, he was chosen for this one.

Eventually, his ears caught the sound of someone speaking, and Eelkit immediately stood up. They're here! He thought, following the voice as quickly as his paws could take him. He looked around, and spotted the cat, sitting and staring at their surroundings in awe: Seedheart, his visitor, and the recipient of these... Upsetting... News. Oh dear, now it was time.

Once he caught sight of the warrior, Eelkit made his way out of the bramble bush he was hiding behind and stepped in front of her, his green starry eyes looking up to meet that of Seedheart. "Hello, Seedheart. Welcome to StarClan."

[Fawnhearted]

Seedheart at this point was starting to panic. Why was she here again? Did Starclan change their minds about her revival? Had they made a mistake?

The molly preceded to worry, until she saw a small kit approaching. He knew her name, which probably wasn't a good thing.

"Hello dear, um, why am I here? Did I die again?", they meowed, anxiously licking her chest. That was definitely a nervous habit she wouldn't get over anytime soon.

The tortishelle was very confused, but she ccontinued rambling on. "Does Starclan have a message for me? Do they want me to return to Windclan?"

Oh, she was probably overwhelming the kit. Even if they had been ,,dead,, for whoever knows how long, they were still a kit. She breathed in and out before calming down.

"I'm very sorry about my rambling, I'm a bit worried about why I'm here. Last time I was here I was,, well I was dead! ", Seedheart chuckled nervously.

Ritsuka

[Akira]

Seedheart at this point was starting to panic. Why was she here again? Did Starclan change their minds about her revival? Had they made a mistake?

The molly preceded to worry, until she saw a small kit approaching. He knew her name, which probably wasn't a good thing.

"Hello dear, um, why am I here? Did I die again?", they meowed, anxiously licking her chest. That was definitely a nervous habit she wouldn't get over anytime soon.

The tortishelle was very confused, but she ccontinued rambling on. "Does Starclan have a message for me? Do they want me to return to Windclan?"

Oh, she was probably overwhelming the kit. Even if they had been ,,dead,, for whoever knows how long, they were still a kit. She breathed in and out before calming down.

"I'm very sorry about my rambling, I'm a bit worried about why I'm here. Last time I was here I was,, well I was dead! ", Seedheart chuckled nervously.

Ritsuka

Eelkit stared up at the warrior, eyes wide and jaw slack as he stared, dumbfounded by the amount of questions she had for him. While he had certainly prepared himself for some questions, these were not the ones. Huh... How to answer....

"Uh, no, you didn't die again... I think?" Eelkit tilted his head thoughtfully. If she did, it was probably up to someone else to retrieve her, since he had no info for that. Yay! Small victories! "Um, no, you don't need to go back to WindClan, but I do have a message for you... an important one."

Then, before he'd finished, Eelkit saw Seedheart nervously apologize, which naturally made Eelkit nervous and flustered as well. Oh, he knew someone else should've come! Someone smarter! "Oh, uh, don't worry about the questions! I'm sorry for being dumb! Don't worry about it! I probably should've had someone else come, huh? Yeah, that probably would've been better. Do you want me to switch out? I can ask someone else to give the message if you want!"

[Fawnhearted]

Seedheart let out a sigh. So she wasn't dead, that was good! Starclan seemed to not be mad at her, but it appeared as if the small cat did have a message for her.

"Oh no! I'm fine listening to you!"

Seedheart was feeling a bit better, it appeared as if the other cat was rather anxious as well. Slowly, the fur that had spiked up on the tortishelles back was lowered, and her claws sheathed. They hadn't even realized that she'd been kneading them into the ground.

With that, she waited patiently to see what the kit had to tell her. Hopefully it was good news?

Ritsuka

[Akira]

Seedheart let out a sigh. So she wasn't dead, that was good! Starclan seemed to not be mad at her, but it appeared as if the small cat did have a message for her.

"Oh no! I'm fine listening to you!"

Seedheart was feeling a bit better, it appeared as if the other cat was rather anxious as well. Slowly, the fur that had spiked up on the tortishelles back was lowered, and her claws sheathed. They hadn't even realized that she'd been kneading them into the ground.

With that, she waited patiently to see what the kit had to tell her. Hopefully it was good news?

Ritsuka
Eelkit let out a sigh of relief before sucking in a hissing breath. At least Seedheart seemed fine with receiving news from a kit. Admittedly, a kit she did not realize was on StarClan longer than she'd been alive, but whatever. But... Oh, he really didn't want to say it so bluntly, especially since she just got here! Maybe... It was easier to slowly ease into the topic? Yeah, that would be a good idea!

"Um..." Eelkit shuffled his paws awkwardly, struggling not to look anywhere but Seedheart. "So, um... G-Got any plans for the future?" Great. Well done, Eelkit. Fantastic job right there.

[Fawnhearted]

Seedheart
She/They
47 Moon's

---

Seedheart gave the kit a quizzical look. He obviously had something to say, but was hesitating. She may as well answer his questions while he grew comfortable enough to say whatever that may be.

"Well, I'm helping Fawnpaw, who's the Riverclan Medicine Cat! She hasn't had any training, so I'm glad to help out.", they purred.

What else had there been? Oh, Petuniafire!

"I got to meet a cousin I hadn't seen in quite awhile, and she's expecting kits!", Seedheart chirped excitedly. Having kits was a dream of hers! They had been okay with adopting, but now that her cousin was pregnant, she couldn't help but wonder what her own kits would be like someday.

Ritsuka

[Akira]

Seedheart
She/They
47 Moon's

---

Seedheart gave the kit a quizzical look. He obviously had something to say, but was hesitating. She may as well answer his questions while he grew comfortable enough to say whatever that may be.

"Well, I'm helping Fawnpaw, who's the Riverclan Medicine Cat! She hasn't had any training, so I'm glad to help out.", they purred.

What else had there been? Oh, Petuniafire!

"I got to meet a cousin I hadn't seen in quite awhile, and she's expecting kits!", Seedheart chirped excitedly. Having kits was a dream of hers! They had been okay with adopting, but now that her cousin was pregnant, she couldn't help but wonder what her own kits would be like someday.

Ritsuka


Eelkit hummed when Seedheart spoke of Fawnpaw. He has seen her, when Pikestar's ceremony was taking place. Admittedly he wasn't participating, simply watching, but he had seen her. She seemed nice, even if nervous and insecure. He'd watch her progress with interest: she'd do great, he was sure.

At the second topic, however, Eelkit resisted the urge to flinch. Kits... That cursed topic. And... Seedheart seemed to happy, too... How was he going to do this?

"Kits?" He asked dumbly, still refusing to meet the warrior's gaze.

[Fawnhearted]

Seedheart
She/They
47 Moons

---

Seedheart was still curious about her surroundings, and didn't notice Eelkit's attitude or unwillingness to meet her gaze. Starclan was so pretty! It seemed as if evey surface was covered with little stars! They almost regretted the fact that they hadn't gotten to experience this beauty when she had died, almost being the key word.

"Mhhm!", the tortishelle nodded, still focusing on the plants and trees around her. "It's always been a dream of mine to have kits! I've adopted before, but I've always wanted to have my own. Regardless of if they are 'mine' or not, all of the kits and apprentices I looked after will always be my children!", she smiled, finally focusing on Eelkit.

She couldn't help but feel guilty about thinking of kits, so soon since her adopted so had died. She frowned slightly, and it deepened once she met Eelkit's gaze.

"Is something wrong?", she asked. The cat looked a little shaken almost, Seedheart wondered if talking about motherhood had reminded the kit of his own family.

"Oh I'm sorry! I'm rambling again, and I didn't even think that it may not be the best topic!"

Ritsuka [Finally my replies are more that 4 sentences!]

[Akira]

Seedheart
She/They
47 Moons

---

Seedheart was still curious about her surroundings, and didn't notice Eelkit's attitude or unwillingness to meet her gaze. Starclan was so pretty! It seemed as if evey surface was covered with little stars! They almost regretted the fact that they hadn't gotten to experience this beauty when she had died, almost being the key word.

"Mhhm!", the tortishelle nodded, still focusing on the plants and trees around her. "It's always been a dream of mine to have kits! I've adopted before, but I've always wanted to have my own. Regardless of if they are 'mine' or not, all of the kits and apprentices I looked after will always be my children!", she smiled, finally focusing on Eelkit.

She couldn't help but feel guilty about thinking of kits, so soon since her adopted so had died. She frowned slightly, and it deepened once she met Eelkit's gaze.

"Is something wrong?", she asked. The cat looked a little shaken almost, Seedheart wondered if talking about motherhood had reminded the kit of his own family.

"Oh I'm sorry! I'm rambling again, and I didn't even think that it may not be the best topic!"

Ritsuka [Finally my replies are more that 4 sentences!]
No. No. No. The guilt was eating up inside Eelkit, enough to make him feel bile in his throat. He swallowed thickly, forcing his stomach to settle. No... Why did he have to do this? Seedheart was a kind cat, who took care of others... They certainly didn't deserve this. The guilt clawed at the kit, and it was made worse by the warrior's bright smile and they way she talked so happily about kits. No. No. No.

Eelkit swallowed thickly again. He hated this. Truly, he did. There were very few things he can say he truly hated, but this was definitely at the top. Why, why him? And why... Why her? Fate was cruel, wasn't it? Then again, he should've known that since his death, no? Right... Fate was a cruel, bitter thing.

The young tom rolled his shoulders and forced himself to stand up, a neutral expression on his face. If he had one, he wouldn't feel as bad, right? It was a lie, obviously, but Eelkit was desperate to believe it was true. But... There was no use delaying any longer, was there?

"You... You can stop thinking about having your own kits," Eelkit spoke, forcing himself to speak steady and not crack under the guilt and pressure he felt weigh him down. "That... Won't be happening any time soon..."

[Fawnhearted]

[ Note : Imagine knowing how to write posts, can't relate ]

Seedheart
She/They
47 Moons

----

Seedheart froze.

"W-what did you say?"

She couldn't help as tears overflowed her eyes, and she felt her heart drop into her stomach. This had to be a cruel joke, maybe he had misspoken?

In her heart, they knew the kit had been truthful, and it wasn't his fault, but she couldn't help but lash out in anger.

"What? No. You have to be wrong! You're just a kit for Starclan's sake! How can you know,, how could you know that I'm broken?"

Her heterochromic eyes were now blurry with tears, and they felt as if they couldn't breathe. Time seemed to slow down as the tortoiseshell started hyperventilating. They had to be wrong,,, right? No kit could hold this much knowledge, even if they were from Starclan.

This place had seemed so beautiful before, but now the silence was so scary and the once glimmering trees felt like eyes. Seedheart just wanted to wake up from this nightmare,,

Her words were barely coming out and she could barely stand up. Kits had been such a huge part of her plan for life and she felt so lost.

"I lost my father, my son, my family and my friends, my life, and now this is happening! Why me?"

She choked out a sob and turned to Eelkit.

"Please,, please tell me you're wrong. Please tell me you mispoke or- or,,"

Her chance at a biological family was ruined. Seedheart felt so lost and alone. Her only family left was Petuniafire and,, and her kits. Why was Seedheart so unlucky? Even though she knew her cousin had gone through terrible stuff like Seedheart had, and she had lost family, she couldn't help but feel jealous.

It felt like a fire was burning inside her, scorching and burning her heart. The pain of Eelkits news felt so physical. Like her heart was shattering and her brain wasn't working.

There was too much going on. She just wanted this pain to end. When would this nightmare end? They felt as if the last few moons had been so horrible, and she was just starting to get her life together. It wasn't fair!

---

Ritsuka

birdie Dino Dirtfur xath TheNyanCatMinecart thepirateking (thought you guys might like to see this ^^)

[Akira]

[ Note : Imagine knowing how to write posts, can't relate ]

Seedheart
She/They
47 Moons

----

Seedheart froze.

"W-what did you say?"

She couldn't help as tears overflowed her eyes, and she felt her heart drop into her stomach. This had to be a cruel joke, maybe he had misspoken?

In her heart, they knew the kit had been truthful, and it wasn't his fault, but she couldn't help but lash out in anger.

"What? No. You have to be wrong! You're just a kit for Starclan's sake! How can you know,, how could you know that I'm broken?"

Her heterochromic eyes were now blurry with tears, and they felt as if they couldn't breathe. Time seemed to slow down as the tortoiseshell started hyperventilating. They had to be wrong,,, right? No kit could hold this much knowledge, even if they were from Starclan.

This place had seemed so beautiful before, but now the silence was so scary and the once glimmering trees felt like eyes. Seedheart just wanted to wake up from this nightmare,,

Her words were barely coming out and she could barely stand up. Kits had been such a huge part of her plan for life and she felt so lost.

"I lost my father, my son, my family and my friends, my life, and now this is happening! Why me?"

She choked out a sob and turned to Eelkit.

"Please,, please tell me you're wrong. Please tell me you mispoke or- or,,"

Her chance at a biological family was ruined. Seedheart felt so lost and alone. Her only family left was Petuniafire and,, and her kits. Why was Seedheart so unlucky? Even though she knew her cousin had gone through terrible stuff like Seedheart had, and she had lost family, she couldn't help but feel jealous.

It felt like a fire was burning inside her, scorching and burning her heart. The pain of Eelkits news felt so physical. Like her heart was shattering and her brain wasn't working.

There was too much going on. She just wanted this pain to end. When would this nightmare end? They felt as if the last few moons had been so horrible, and she was just starting to get her life together. It wasn't fair!

---

Ritsuka

birdie Dino Dirtfur TheNyanCatMinecart thepirateking (thought you guys might like to see this ^^)

The moment Eelkit watched Seedheart's happiness crumble was the moment that he decided that this was the last time he would deliver news such as this. The guilt and pity continued to eat him up from inside, but the kit forced a blank expression on his face Seedheart yelled at him, forcing himself steady despite the tears that came from the warrior (and threatened to leave the kit as well).

But... What made it worse was the harsh denial from Seedheart. The now RiverClan warrior seemed so desperate to believe what Eelkit said was a lie, but... He couldn't allow her to believe a lie. No, he wouldn't allow them to.

"No, what I said was the truth. You won't ever have your own kits, made from your own blood. Not now, and not anytime soon. It won't ever happen, no matter how much you scream and plead!" Eelkit hissed, forcing his own emotions away. Seedheart had to face reality, no matter how much both cats wanted anything but that. "You just can't, okay? Give it up... You won't have any kits."

[Fawnhearted]

Seedheart just stared at him, still lost in thought. She knew that she'd probably been too harsh on Eelkit, but she wasn't sure how to apologize. He probably didn't want to share this news either, it wasn't fair of her to blame him.

"I'm sorry, this isn't your fault", she mumbled. They were feeling so many emotions and didn't know what to do. But the kit definitely deserve her aggression. He didn't plan this, and neither did she, so neither of them could be at fault.

She let out a sigh before padding closer to the small cat. "I'm sorry for my reaction. You didn't control my fate, you just made me aware. It's unfair for me to lash out and blame you when even Starclan didn't plan this. You didn't deserve the anger I felt,,", she finished and licked her chest, ashamed at her outburst.

She didn't feel anything anymore. Just numb, and a twinge of guilt towards how she reacted. "What's your name, dear?" How could she have acted so rudely to them? Seedheart didn't even know the younger cats name!

Ritsuka

[ Seedheart literally never acts angry so this isn't her normal nature lol, she immediately felt guilty- ]

[Akira]

Seedheart just stared at him, still lost in thought. She knew that she'd probably been too harsh on Eelkit, but she wasn't sure how to apologize. He probably didn't want to share this news either, it wasn't fair of her to blame him.

"I'm sorry, this isn't your fault", she mumbled. They were feeling so many emotions and didn't know what to do. But the kit definitely deserve her aggression. He didn't plan this, and neither did she, so neither of them could be at fault.

She let out a sigh before padding closer to the small cat. "I'm sorry for my reaction. You didn't control my fate, you just made me aware. It's unfair for me to lash out and blame you when even Starclan didn't plan this. You didn't deserve the anger I felt,,", she finished and licked her chest, ashamed at her outburst.

She didn't feel anything anymore. Just numb, and a twinge of guilt towards how she reacted. "What's your name, dear?" How could she have acted so rudely to them? Seedheart didn't even know the younger cats name!

Ritsuka

[ Seedheart literally never acts angry so this isn't her normal nature lol, she immediately felt guilty- ]
Eelkit had fully expected her anger-it was understandable, after all- and had fully anticipated more, even squeezing his eyes shut in preparation for a more violent tongue lashing than before. But when Seedheart started to apologize, his green eyes flew open, and the kit could only stare up at her dumbly. Huh? She was... Sorry? Fof her behavior? But it was justifiable, especially in the face of such news! In fact, he should've apologized! He should've had someone else come, or been more gentle when saying it, or-!

Huh? His name? Eelkit blinked. Right! He'd never introduced himself to Seedheart! What kind of fool was he? Mentally slapping himself, Eelkit shook his head and offered the warrior a very small smile, eager to keep negative emotions away.

"My name is Eelkit. I was a RiverClan kit before I joined StarClan 130 moons ago."

[Fawnhearted]

Seedheart
She/They
47 Moons

Seedheart almost couldn't stop herself from letting out a small gasp. This kit had been here that long? That had to be older than the elders! She brushed off the shock, before speaking again.

"It's nice to meet you Eelkit, and I'm sorry we had to meet this way", they said with a sad smile. This circumstance seemed horrible on its own, so she couldn't imagine how Eelkit felt.

"I actually joined Riverclan recently! After my revival, I decided to go there instead of Windclan."

Seedheart mumbled off the last couple of words as she looked around the forest. It looked as if the colors were fading and they wondered if the dream was ending. She turned to the kit with slight panic and sadness.

"Thank you for letting me know"

With that, she was gone. She could feel the years when she woke up, and still couldn't stop thinking about Eelkit and the news that he had given her.

[ Ritsuka, hope you don't mind me cutting this short! I wanted to make it a lot longer but I genuinely have no clue how to carry it out, so Eel is released from his mission lol ]