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November 18th, 2017, 03:19 PM
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Paige~
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,519
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Story criticism!
So, my ELA teacher is making us write a story as a subplot for The Masque Of The Red Death, and I don't know what to think of what I have so far. If you could, please read it in the link provided and post your criticisms and remarks here. DO NOT try to sugarcoat it please!
The Story
Thanks! ^^
Keep in mind I will be working on it as you read
Last edited by Mayflower; November 19th, 2017 at 11:30 AM.
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November 19th, 2017, 10:51 AM
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Paige~
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,519
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Re: Story criticism!
Bump! I reaaaaaally need you guys to do this if you could!
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November 19th, 2017, 10:54 AM
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the skeleton girl
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Gender: female
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Re: Story criticism!
We need to ask to see it
__________________
ya got nothing good to say, then don't say it!!!
profile pic is not owned by me.
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November 19th, 2017, 11:12 AM
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led into temptation
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Status: crying at the vampire mansion
Gender: he
Posts: 3,416
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Re: Story criticism!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayflower
Bump! I reaaaaaally need you guys to do this if you could!
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You need to click share, then get sharable link so we can see it.
__________________
☾ And I hate showering in puddles, but I love using mud as soap
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November 19th, 2017, 11:27 AM
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Paige~
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,519
My Mood:
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Re: Story criticism!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Myik
You need to click share, then get sharable link so we can see it.
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Ooh, I forgot about that. Thanks!
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November 19th, 2017, 11:29 AM
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Paige~
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,519
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Re: Story criticism!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raven hollow
We need to ask to see it
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Myik
You need to click share, then get sharable link so we can see it.
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It should work now!
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November 19th, 2017, 11:30 AM
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led into temptation
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Status: crying at the vampire mansion
Gender: he
Posts: 3,416
My Mood:
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Re: Story criticism!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayflower
It should work now!
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Did you add the new link? Still won't work for me
__________________
☾ And I hate showering in puddles, but I love using mud as soap
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November 19th, 2017, 11:55 AM
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Paige~
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,519
My Mood:
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Re: Story criticism!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Myik
Did you add the new link? Still won't work for me
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I did add the new link. It should be right here
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November 19th, 2017, 11:58 AM
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I'm actually back...
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Gender: Error 6969: Gender Not Available.
Posts: 892
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Re: Story criticism!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayflower
I did add the new link. It should be right here |
Hm, It's looking pretty good so far. Don't forget to Indent the First Word, as it Seems you forgot to do that.
"Ciraynne herself wasn’t in as gay a mood as the others, seeing as she was still homesick." Can you elaborate what you mean by a "Gay Mood" ?
@ Mayflower
Last edited by Akari; November 19th, 2017 at 12:07 PM.
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November 19th, 2017, 12:03 PM
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Paige~
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,519
My Mood:
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Re: Story criticism!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Akari
Hm, It's looking pretty good so far. Don't forget to Indent the First Word, as it Seems you forgot to do that.
"Ciraynne herself wasn’t in as gay a mood as the others, seeing as she was still homesick." Can you elaborate what you mean by a "Gay Mood" ?
@ Mayflower |
Sorry! I mean that everyone is rather happy, as the original Masque story and older language uses gay to mean happy, and Ciraynne is not. Hope that clears things up!
Last edited by Mayflower; November 19th, 2017 at 12:04 PM.
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