Seastones

[BEAR.]

It's quiet here.

A stone's throw away from the stones the Gathering took place, closer to the shoreline where water licked the rocky beach. Fernpaw felt like he was choking as he took a seat among the sand, looking out at the wide blue sea as it ebbed and flowed.

He hadn't fully processed the news of his friend being gone. That this-- this water took him away. It felt so unreal. Maybe he was dreaming? It wouldn't be the first time he'd been struck by a nightmare.

[ open / @tulle is free to have bravebird roll in sometime too ]

[taillow]

Bravebird
Sounnds ebbing and flowing in volume did little to steal her attention away as Bravebird hurried across the sand. It was easy to find Fernpaw with the full light of the moon shining on the beach and her eyes adjusting accordingly. An ache settled into her heart as she slowed her pace, approaching the young tom's side carefully and taking a seat. For a moment, she remained quiet, simply sitting there and allowing herself to be a presence for Fernpaw.

He must have been close to the RiverClan leader for it to garner this type of reaction. It was... difficult for Bravebird to understand, even more so due to her own revelation. Had ThunderClan been correct in their claim about the use of poisoned claws all those gatherings ago? If that was the case... then Kestrelstar's death was nothing more than StarClan attempting to right a wrong, and while Bravebird had a history of hatred towards violent cats no cat deserved death.

"...He is probably up there among the stars, still watching over you." It was all that Bravebird could come up with as her voice broke the silence, quiet and soft. Her normal loudness and boisterous way of speaking stripped away, she glanced at Fernpaw and wondered what he was thinking. He had died and come back, so she could maybe understand some confusion as to why a leader, who had nine lives, died over and over and over again until it was permanent. Easy enough it was to conceal her own personal feelings towards the deceased RiverClan leader (and her suspicions) in favor of comforting her apprentice.

Gingerly, she allowed her tail to hover just over his back as a way to signal that she was here if he needed absolutely anything at all. In the distance, the waves rolled gently up the shoreline, creating a quiet hum in the night.

[ @BILL. ]

[BEAR.]

That sensation hadn't gone away. It was like an emptiness within him, devoid of happiness. He'd been so excited to see his friend. Now that wasn't.. going to happen. Potentially ever again. ".. But he's not here, now."

Being in the stars meant he was with Starkpelt. And Fernpaw never saw Starkpelt anymore, not since he came back that first time, so long ago. His stomach twisted, and he swallowed an everlasting lump in his throat. "I don't see them in the stars. I tried, but the cats I want never seem to want to see me." Or they couldn't, for whatever reason. The point was, being in the stars watching over meant very little.

It'd been a while since he'd felt this small. So.. little, in a massive world, unforgiving. "I don't know why he had to go. Why anyone has to go. It doesn't make sense..." Cats revived seemingly randomly, himself included. Why kill anyone? Why keep some cats dead? Fernpaw desperately wished Kestrelstar would be one of those cats, but he knew better than to get his hopes up. His patrol never came back. Owltalon never came back.

His mom and Pinekit weren't coming back.

If it was possible, he shrank down further and shuffled to press into Bravebird. He wanted to just curl up with her and stop existing for a while. he felt pretty terrible, but her companionship was always a comfort.

[ @tulle ]

[taillow]

Bravebird
Raw emotion was something that the young warrior was learning how to deal with. Seeing it from younger cats always had her feeling awkward, for she did not view herself as any sort of comfort to them. Ripped open wounds needed the careful paws of a cat who thought before they spoke - not a cat like Bravebird who said whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, regardless of the situation.

Hearing the pain in Fernpaw's voice made her want to reach up into the stars and rip them from the sky. Her faith in their ancestors was strong, but how cruel they had to be to deny him visitations with cats he longed for - no, needed. And if it truly was that they did not wish to see him? She would rip their pelts off their backs until they understood the pain they were causing him.

...So maybe she was good at handling emotion, at least where Fernpaw was concerned. She didn't feel awkward - she felt defensive, protective. Like he was a sibling of hers, a cat she would bare teeth to protect from the harsh reality of the real world.

"...Death is never convenient. It comes when we least expect it, and its shadows extend long past when it has delivered its destruction." She knew this all too well, swallowing as the memory of all the cats WindClan had lost over the moons surfaced.

As she felt her apprentice press against her, Bravebird let out a soft sigh and ducked her head to touch her nose to his ear. Gingerly though, and slowly, giving him time to back away if he wished. "I'm so sorry, Fernpaw." ...What more was there to say? Bravebird felt as though words would do little when what Fernpaw needed was action. Proof that not all cats would leave him. Bravebird had no plans of dying anytime soon. She would be right by his side whenever he needed her - and that was a promise she had full intentions to fight to keep if need be.

[ @BILL. ]

[BEAR.]

It was rare for Fernpaw to feel bitter, but the talk of death and the reminder of how frivolous the revivals granted by the ancestors were made him so. He was angry, because of how unfair the process seemed. What was the point of death, if only to revive cats seemingly at random? If it weren't random, what attributes did StarClan look for in their selection?

... Was his mother not good enough? Nettlespark, Deadpool, Fernfrost? Their other Clan-mates, senselessly killed? Was he not? Fernpaw knew coming back during a leader's ceremony was not ideal, he knew he pissed off someone in the sky, he wondered if all this pain was a result of that choice.

The bitterness faded into sorrow. Fernpaw felt very tired, and he shifted to lean into Bravebird. Right now, speculating on death had no purpose. His friend was gone, he had no idea where FishClan stood now with him, and.. " ..can we go home?"

He didn't want to look at where he died anymore.

[ @tulle ]

[taillow]

Bravebird
At the notion of going home, Bravebird let out a comforting purr and stood to her paws, though remained at Fernpaw's side as he leaned closer. "Of course." There wasn't much else to say, and even if there was it could be saved for another day when the turbulent speculation of death was but a gentle wave lapping at their paws and not this monstrous wave it now appeared to be.

Turning around Bravebird kept her eyes on Fernpaw and nodded with her head for him to follow her - and stick close if he so desired. Her paws moved slowly, tail swinging low behind her before coming to rest on her apprentices back. She hoped it added some comfort to him as he navigated his way through the sea of emotions.

Never had home sounded so good, and the WindClan warrior was grateful to be heading back to a place she knew as safe - for WindClan, for her, and for Fernpaw.

[ @JAE. ]

[BEAR.]

The sun was bleeding over the horizon as Fernpaw got to his paws, the red light causing an almost ominous hue over the ocean as crimson-tinged water lapped at the shore. Death was always a heavy subject, it weighed cats down and drowned them in waves of grief and uncertainty. And yet..

As Fernpaw cast one final look over the water, he was reminded of a lingering curiosity he hadn't been able to explore. His talk in the sky had made him question the true nature of his friend, but in the moment his grief for a friend blinded his thoughts of Stormtalon.

"Bravebird..?"

It seemed this was as good of a time as any, as they were heading up the shore to go home. He wasn't sure how to go about this, actually.. "There was a cat.. who said cats died if they were on the wrong side of Kestrelstar. Is that..?" Was he being honest?

He didn't know if she could answer that, but.. letting it fester within would do no good. The uncertainty brought with it more questions, and he found himself compelled to continue. "He said he used poison, too. To hurt ThunderClan..?" He sounded so unsure, because outside of Stormtalon he didn't know if this was true. Perhaps Bravebird could provide some light.

[ @marni ]

[taillow]

Bravebird
It was not necessarily the question that caught her off guard, but that Fernpaw had asked it. Grief usually blinded the senses and ensnared the focus of a cat, often allowing them to miss the points of the deceased that pointed to them not being the best. Bravebird knew she was guilty of such - in the wake of Softleap's death, despite his abandonment of WindClan, she found that her heart was crushed at the loss of life and the sorrow that followed in the wake was not something she had been expecting.

...And that had just been a passing Clanmate. This was different. If his reaction to the initial announcement of the RiverClan leader's death was any indication, Fernpaw had been close to him.

But even so, Bravebird could not lie to him. Lying did nothing except sugarcoat the truth and delay the inevitable. Fernpaw would find out sooner or later the harsh realities of the world, and the lilac lynx-point would be foolish to attempt to conceal it from him.

"...I didn't know him well," she admitted, which was true. Other than knowing him as RiverClan's leader - and watching his outbursts at previous gatherings - there wasn't much info she had to go on. Except one piece. "...There was one gathering, seasons ago." The yowling. The frustration. The confusion. "It was revealed that RiverClan had trespassed onto ThunderClan territory, stealing their gravesite and raiding their camp. Their medicine cat at the time, Icicleripple, she determined that a few of the cats who participated in the raid had done so with the use of death berry juice on the tips of their claws." Speaking it out loud, Bravebird knew how outrageous it sounded. How egregious and shocking... Even now as she spoke there was a sharp, jagged edge to her words. An anger as she relived that gathering, and how disgusted it had made her feel. At that time, she hadn't known who was right or who was wrong, but now with Kestrelstar's death...

With a quick inhale of her breath and turning to look at her apprentice, she continued. "At the time, Kestrelstar and Snakeheart vehemently denied any wrongdoing, and actually placed the blame on Icicleripple. But from the way they got so defensive, I had my suspicions that there must've been a little truth to the allegations. Kestrelstar, well, he never seemed like the most stable leader if you want my honest opinion. He seemed like at any moment, something could set him off." Not like how Twilightstar was. Even as she grew into her older moons, she still kept her emotions in check. Even dealing with everything Dawnstar and ShadowClan tossed at her, she remained poised and regal and unwavering. It was one of the many things Bravebird admired about her leader.

It had just been an inkling. A gut feeling. But as Fernpaw spoke, Bravebird felt her gaze widen. Poisoned claws. That had only been an allegation, unconfirmed. Now though, with Fernpaw saying that the cat had mentioned it... Something felt off. What reason did the kid have to lie? He didn't - out of anyone, he had idolized the deceased RiverClan leader, so if anything he wouldn't have brought it up if he didn't believe in it somewhat.

Suddenly a rage shook her a bit, engulfing her eyes in a tireless flame. "I thought it was just a rumor. Something spread by ThunderClan in order to paint RiverClan as the bad guys. But... Fernpaw, who was this cat? What was their name?" Maybe the name would be familiar, maybe she might have seen them at a past gathering of sorts. Her eyes bore into Fernpaw's now as she eagerly awaited his answer.

[ @JAE. ]

[BEAR.]

"Sometimes, it doesn't feel like I did, either." If any of this were true, it painted a different picture of the Kestrelwing Fernpaw once knew. A troubled young warrior who just needed a friend.

This information was a lot to process and unpack. "That's.." Stormtalon hadn't mentioned the Gathering stuff, maybe he didn't know. Maybe it didn't matter, despite the lump in Fernpaw's throat. "So they poisoned them, stole their graves, raided their camp..?" It seemed so..

It hurt in more ways than one. No physical wound could compare to the wound of an idol's treachery; of knowing a cat he loved could be so cruel. Suddenly, the nearby ocean doesn't seem so unpleasant. Fernpaw never wished death on any cat, and his heart ached for the perception of a cat lost, but.. For all of RiverClan's grief, it felt so minimal in compared to the suffering thrusted onto ThunderClan.

Though Fernpaw did not know the specifics, he understood ThunderClan's suffering and descent did not come overnight. Kestrelstar adding to their misery made him sick. And Fanged Fish.. Stormtalon hadn't mentioned him, but the thought of him knowingly being involved? A medicine cat encouraging the use of poison was so abhorrent to Fernpaw. In a selfish way, he hoped no one noticed how Snakeheart had approached him at the Gathering-- he didn't think he wanted to be seen with another monster.

Someone so cold and callous, they could oversee the painful death of others and lie about it. Not even Dawnstar stepped so lowly, and he knew what made her Clan cheer.

Dejected, Fernpaw glanced at the ground. "When I met him.. he was angry. He's always been mad, but I didn't care. I saw through it, and he melted, and I loved him.." His voice waivered. "I didn't want to believe he was capable of this. And I didn't want to think Fanged Fish was, either. But.."

Though a small part of him knew it could be possible Snakeheart was unaware of the poison, Fernpaw found it unlikely. It'd be hard to hide the usage of poison from the Clan medicine cat, especially when it could easily have backfired. "His name was Stormtalon." A pause, as if to consider his next words. "You can call him an asocial, arrogant smartass, if you want." He thought wherever Stormtalon was, he'd like that. Cheers, friend.

Stormtalon had seemed genuinely remorseful for the actions prior to his death, so Fernpaw saw no reason to bury the tom's name with his deeds. "I think they were friends, but I don't know." Stormtalon hadn't specified, but they seemed close with how he spoke. A different layer of understanding Fernpaw couldn't grasp. "He was a RiverClan cat, though. And I just wanted.. to know, if he was right about this. It's hard to believe he really did that." And that Fernpaw didn't know! Stars, he felt terrible. "I don't think he was lying, though." Stormtalon had a harshness to him, but how he approached the conversation made Fernpaw inclined to believe he was being truthful. At least to the best of his knowledge.

And that's what made this all the worse: the confirmation of the horrors committed. He didn't think he wanted anything to do with RiverClan.

[ @marni don't mind me this is a mess ]

[Tansy]

hi im bored