WindClan: Life Before 2023's Fire

[Wings]

Running sounded a bit enjoyable, definitely at this time of day. It was quiet, not hot, and enjoyable. Perking his ears a bit, he stood up, tail hovering above the ground. He nodded, "Alright! Lead the way." He did a small dipping of his head and lashing his tail a bit. He was ready to stretch his legs.
@Arie

[Echopeak]

Mousekit sighed, "I brought you mice back, I think that's a favor, ma'am."

[kittygirl]

Echopaw nodded and lifted her head, she opened her maw to pull in all the scents around her..."hm...rabbit off that way..some mice somewhere over there as well...I think it would be more suitable if I went for the bigger prey." she spoke aloud, but mostly to herself, she wasted not a moment more and got into a hunting crouch, her ears were perked and she held still for a moment to see which way her fur was blowing to get down wind. after a few heartbeats she continued further, echopaw had spotted where the two rabbits were grazing through and crept behind some shrubs a bit further away, the grass is long and i think I can get close enough to get a bite shot...hopefully i can avoid tackling the rabbit. she silently noted. due to her clawless paws, her steps were silent and soft and she was able to get much close to the rabbits, she was about a fox tail away from the first rabbit, so she stayed put and waited for until the fuzzy critter lifted its head and exposed its neck. With swift moves echopaw launched out of the grass and clamped her jaws around the rabbit, letting it go limp. The other rabbit had already dashed for a burrow, so she sat at her kill and waited for twilightstar to speak or any reaction at all.

@Moonraven

[Sweetie]

Instantly the tom regretted what he said, something he said rubbed Breezefeather's fur the wrong way. Silently cursing himself Brindlejaw felt stupid for opening up his mouth again which resulted in him speaking out of his ass. Man, he had a really bad habit of doing that, I thought that I was doing better. Tearing his gaze away from the warrior the deputy felt embarrassed and ashamed for ruining a perfectly good conversation. The tortoiseshell noted the fact that the tom in front of him sighed and moved into a more comfortable spot. Brindlejaw was about to get a scolding of his life.
The tom sat still as a rock and listened to what Breezefeather had to say. Of course Breezefeather was not aiming for pity. Once more scolding himself for his idiocy.

'...learning from experiences...'
He was definitely learning from his mistake right now. "No, never. I was crossing your feelings with mine. I was talking about myself but I was caught up in thinking of what you said." Which was true. He was fighting within himself. Brindlejaw knew that he could forgive himself but the question is, when? When would he stop feeling sorry for himself? When would he stop thinking about his past mistakes, the moments where a different choice would change everything for him. It was hard, so difficult knowing that it was possible to forgive himself but continue to punish because it was easier than leaving the mistakes alone. He deserved to feel the pain he put Yewpaw in, the frustration he caused within his clanmates and so much more.

'...that might make it easy to carry the burdens that you carry in your heart, on your shoulders or wherever the pressure is coming from.'
It didn't seem possible that anything would ease his burdens. The guilt that kept him up at night, haunting his dreams. Causing the tom to slowly become the husk of what he once was. No one else has ever failed their apprentice badly as I have. No, because everyone else knew how to juggle their personal life and duties unlike him. No matter how hard he tried Brindlejaw still some-how ruined a relationship. First, his parents, leaving them to join Windclan instead of being a lazy Kitty-pet. Then Meadowmouse, his former mate to care for their child. Deerblossom, his own son, to grow up without a father to be by his side. Then Yewpaw, the closest thing he could call a daughter, he left her to fight coyotes alone. He ruined all of their relationships to be a better warrior and serve his clan. Now looking back, was it all worth it? To leave that many bridges burned to claim the deputy spot? In all honesty, he wasn't sure a part of the tom was proud of his achievements, and the other half regretted not enjoying his prime time and creating moments with the cats he loved.

Stop being so cowardly and look at Breezefeather in the eyes.
The voice within the tortoiseshell hissed with disgust. Forcing his blazing orange eyes to meet the fiery green ones Brindlejaw continued to listen to the tom in front of him. Of course, depression was not easy to get over with. Telling a cat to get over it would be telling someone to walk when they have paralyzed legs. Thankfully Brindlejaw never dealt with depression but perhaps this thing he was going through was it? Don't be stupid. You haven't even been through what he has and all you are doing is moping around.

'...you need to confront the issues at hand instead of letting them rot, letting the infection spread.... It can spread fast and you need to tear it out without leaving a single piece of the infection left.'

But could Brindlejaw confront these nightmares? The guilt? He talked to Yewpaw and she couldn't even feel safe around him anymore. She asked for a new mentor and couldn't even look at him in the eyes for it. The tom knew that he already met two strikes with Twilightstar and the thought of the third would remove him from the deputy position loomed over him. How could he ever forgive himself for all of these mistakes he has made? If he couldn't forgive himself why would anyone else?

Gulping and then sighing Brindlejaw waited for his clanmate to finish speaking before he said his part. "I know that you don't go around wallowing nor asking for pity and I am sorry for causing you to think I thought of you like that. If anything from what you just told me it is obvious that you are one of the most strong cats in this clan. With a few problems on my shoulders I'm already breaking down but with you..." The tom gave a light scoff, "You are holding it up better than I could ever. I know that these things take time and that depression is no joke. But I never tried sharing my burdens as you are trying to with me. I am not one to really share since I use to think emotions are just factors that get in the way of working." Shrugging and shaking his head at himself the deputy continued. "If it is anybody it should be me who should stop wallowing in their pity and act more responsible like you." Giving a small smile the deputy blinked and gave a defeated sigh. "I did not mean for this conversation to go south so please forgive me."

@Arie

---

Walking away from his latest conversation the tom could not believe his eyes. The leader of Riverclan was in Windclan's camp came with a kit? Padding a few steps closer and furrowing his invisible eyebrows Brindlejaw couldn't quite recall the kit in Lionstar's paws. "It's cute when they are playing clan in the nursery with the other kits." Humoring the golden feline and giving a respectful nod with his head. Blazing orange eyes looked down from the leader to the kit and back up. "Would you like me to escort the kit back to the nursery Twilightstar?" Head turned to his leader. His gaze flickering back and forth from the large cat to the small one as he wondered which queen this kit belonged to.

@Moonraven @BILL. @Echopeak

[Sweetie]

Welp, there goes his moment of peace. Turning his head Brindlejaw watched as Oakstink limped towards him yowling his head off. Oh phooey... It was the elder he ignored out of embarrassment when he accidentally called out an old clanmates name when he was assigning the patrols. Holding back a sigh Brindlejaw sat down and let the old man's words hit him.
The mention of Oakstink talking to Twilightstar made the tortoiseshell heart jump in his throat. That probably went horribly... The last talk he had with the leader flashed through his head and the belief that he'll be booted out of the deputy position grew. The tom wanted to be anywhere other than here with this grumpy ass, especially when he pointed out the squabbling cats that were occupying Twilightstars attention at the moment. In all honesty, he wasn't sure what to say to Oaksting, what would be enough to quiet the old man? "Very well, I do not blame you for calling me out." He politely agreed with the tom.
Before he could continue Aspenbreeze barged into the conversation. Brindlejaw couldn't help but look surprised at the molly when she turned her wrath upon him. Yeesh, this molly meant business. Put you and Smoulderpaw on more patrols? For a few heartbeats, the tom was confused but then realized that Aspenbreeze wanted more opportunities to train her apprentice. Nodding Brindlejaw was relieved for once that he could deal with this problem. "I'm sorry. Do you have a specific patrol you want? Hunting, border, battle? Do you want me to put you guys on two patrols rather than one?" Well he was feeling good until the molly sided with Oakstink about his deputy performance. Closing his mouth quickly the tom was lost for words. What could he say? What was there to say? He couldn't talk back without them snapping more and going off to Twilightstar to complain once more. He didn't feel like apologizing would help now so what else was there to do?

@Dust @BILL.

[lucidense]

Dawnpaw nodded, setting down her prey and heading off to the app den. @RainbowQuail (only mentioned you so you know what I did)

[lucidense]

Dawnpaw padded into the apprentices den, searching for her friends. @wolfnight @Puddletail @Zesty Mango

[Mango]

@SparrowSoar
Basilpaw spotted Dawnpaw and waved her tail at Dawnpaw,” Hey Dawnpaw. What’s up?” she asked in curiosity.

[lucidense]

Dawnpaw purred softly as she padded over to him. "I'm happy to see you! I got a mouse, helped get a rabbit, and got a sparrow!" She mewed. She was happy to finally let all her thoughts out. "I don't get why Wolfwhisper acts so depressed, she was monotone the whole session." She meowed, raising her head in thought. Her beautiful, creamy pelt rippled as she spoke, "I wonder who made dirt in her fresh kill?" @Zesty Mango

[Mango]

Originally Posted by SparrowSoar

Dawnpaw purred softly as she padded over to him. "I'm happy to see you! I got a mouse, helped get a rabbit, and got a sparrow!" She mewed. She was happy to finally let all her thoughts out. "I don't get why Wolfwhisper acts so depressed, she was monotone the whole session." She meowed, raising her head in thought. Her beautiful, creamy pelt rippled as she spoke, "I wonder who made dirt in her fresh kill?" @Zesty Mango

Basilpaw smiled a bit,” Lucky. I haven’t caught anything yet. My mentor is a coward who won’t train me.” she purred.