Starry Meadow

[Mica]

Hawkfur
WindClan
he/him | 45 moons
[Deep russet tabby with blue eyes and white chest, muzzle and paws]
---------------
[Bravebird - @tallulah ]

---------------
The moment Bravebird's eyes caught his, Hawkfur looked down at his paws, ears burning with embarrassment. He hadn't realized he had been staring, and didn't want the lilac molly to think him strange or insulting. Luckily for him, she seemed to move on, focusing once again on the shallow grave before them. As she began piling dirt over the dead warrior, she gave him instructions like he was an apprentice, and Hawkfur silently obeyed. He knew what she was doing, and he felt a little snag of sorrow at the mask she insisted keeping over her face. Of course she would, however, because why wouldn't she? They hardly knew each other, only the most basic of friends bound by a few conversations and a traumatic experience. It was natural she wouldn't trust him with her full emotions yet. Hawkfur was just a cat who let his emotions control his expressions and movements, always so obvious in how he was feeling. He tried not to let the difference between them become too far of a gap to cross, especially when Bravebird sniffed and he resisted the urge to stop everything and cry for her.

Keeping his large paws loose as he scooped the dirt over the body, the job was quickly finished. The pair was still, staring at the mound of freshly tilled soil covering a cat who would never feel the wind on their fur or the sun on their back again. Hawkfur felt numb, now. So many WindClan cats dead and buried, the past few moons. He was suddenly reminded of the belief that WindClan was the weakest of the four clans. How could that be possible, when they were burying cats left and right and the survivors still managed to continue living themselves? Just because they weren't cruel like ShadowClan, self-righteous like ThunderClan, or self-absorbed like RiverClan... WindClan never failed to keep moving, like their namesake.

Hawkfur knew that despite the sorrow he felt--not for the dead, but for the living--he would continue on. Tomorrow morning he would wake up and attend a patrol, or go hunting, or help enforce the camp against the leafbare chill. Tomorrow he would live.

So today, he let himself grieve. Once more not for the dead, for they were in the stars, where they were meant to be. He mourned for the living, for those left behind, like Bravebird. He mourned for his clanmates affected by the scores of dead in their ranks.

When Bravebird leaned heavily against him, the red tom froze, unsure of what to do. It had been so long since someone had let themselves be vulnerable around him, so long since he felt the comforting presence of a cat who trusted him. Swallowing thickly, he allowed himself to lean against her too, marveling at how much the contact soothed his aching heart. When the molly spoke about preventing this, Hawkfur only melted further into her side, stare blank. He too was exhausted, not being able to keep his clanmates from dying.

But when Bravebird mentioned avenging Dragonflyflare's death, Hawkfur frowned. Vengeance... that was a slippery slope. If Bravebird had been allowed to go into ThunderClan and demand retribution for a death that had ultimately been warranted, who was to say a ThunderClan warrior much like Bravebird wouldn't have killed another WindClan warrior as retribution for that warrior? It never ended. He couldn't understand how cats desired vengeance so thoroughly that it consumed them. He opened his mouth to explain this to her, but quickly shut it when she spoke again, this time about StarClan.

Ah, yes. StarClan. Their ancestors, watching them from far above in the sky. He sighed. "Who is to say that StarClan even can prevent this?" He asked to no one in particular. "If they told us to stop, would we even listen?"

[taillow]

Bravebird
She/her | 41 moons | Beefed Up T3 • One with the Warren

His words held more merit than she wanted to hear because it had occurred to her too that StarClan likely couldn't have done anything. Bravebird believed whole heartedly in them, with every ounce of her heart, but even she was old enough to let go of the naive dream that they knew everything. The second part of what Hawkfur said rang true as well; if her ancestors descended them to stop this violence, would see? Would WindClan? Or any of the Clans?

"I doubt it," came the eventual scoffed reply as Bravebird shook her head. Violence and fighting and bloodshed had been among the daily life of the Clans since before she had been born, and it would continue that way for long after she joined the stars. She allowed the silence to fall around them once more, taking in soft breaths and watching the way the stars glittered in the sky. For the first time in awhile she thought of Whisperbreeze, and wondered what her brother was doing up in StarClan. Was he watching her? Proud of her?

She hoped so.

After a few more moments, Bravebird got to her paws and stretched out her legs. She side stepped a little so that her pelt was no longer brushing her Clanmates, clearing her throat as she glanced at him. "We should get back to camp." The body had been buried, there was no point in lingering out here anymore. Still, she held his gaze for a bit longer before turning and starting the trek back towards camp.

[ @Micanomancy - figured we could wrap this one up here with one more post! did you want to do the starter for their snow adventure? if not i can add it to my list! ]

[Mica]

Hawkfur
WindClan
he/him | 45 moons
[Deep russet tabby with blue eyes and white chest, muzzle and paws]
---------------
[Bravebird - @tallulah ]

---------------
All too soon, the silence between them stretched to its breaking point, and it was time to return to camp. Hawkfur sighed, nodding and pushing himself to aching paws. He was looking forward to a nice groom and a long sleep. The moon was high in the sky, and he marveled at its light. "Right behind you." He murmured in agreement, following her back to camp, leaving the new grave behind him.

[I shall put the starter up... hehehe]

[Undertaker]

@Estelle [Silverpaw]
Leechscar hurriedly made his way out to the Starry Meadow, grumbling about the snow and how cold it was. He complained to himself to avoid dealing with the thoughts running rampage within his head. The walk to Starry Meadow was long and burdensome, he didn't understand why WindClan couldn't have chosen a closer landmark. Leechscar hadn't bothered heading to the meadow since the graverobber incident. It was also such a long walk, in the snow, to reach it.

Scaling the hill, and glancing over his shoulder now and then to ensure that Silverpaw was keeping up with him, he made it to the top. The wind was worst at the peak of the meadow, making Leechscar's nose hurt. The quicker he finished this the quicker he could retreat to his nest.

"Silverpaw, why don't you look around for some poppy seed and I'll look for the burnet." He suggested to the apprentice, seeing no need to be looking for one herb with two cats. Divide and conquer and that nonsense. He doubted they'd find much, but he was sure Lightningstorm would be grateful for whatever they could bring to her.

[Estelle]

Sheesh mister cranky-paws, someone clearly got out on the wrong side of his nest this morning. Couldn't even form proper words from the little grumble she caught him... Grumbling to Lightningstorm when he didn't even offer her a single glance before leaving. (Was it her, or has she been greatly lacking in vocabulary lately?) But she didn't complain. They had a job to do and Leechscar if had decided that Littlepaw could catch up later, then so be it. Though she didn't enjoy the thought of apprentices beginning to slack as much as the warriors of this clan.

"I'll be joining you if you're going out again later."
Silverpaw was never one for small talk, and she wasn't trying to make small talk. She was trying to occupy her days by being useful and not stooping to the level of airheaded warriors... Which included deciding that if Leechscar, her mentor, wanted to gather more herbs for Lightningstorm later, she would come along. She wasn't planning on taking no for an answer either. In fact, she would have led the way to these 'Starry Meadows' had it not been for the simple fact that not a single warrior in this clan has been able to give her a full tour of the territory so far.

But that aside (and yes, Silverpaw was entirely ignoring the cold weather. Why, she couldn't stand the snow clumping on her long fur and lithe frame being pushed around by rough winds, but she was WindClan, and she wouldn't be caught dead complaining about the wind or any of these whiny things), Silverpaw had a job to do. And so did Leechscar.
"Very well."
She stated plainly, not awaiting any further instruction for she had already turned around and begun trekking through the snow in search of flowers.

Red flower, with round petals. In leaf-bare. In the snow. This apprentice may be no plant-related genius, but she was fairly certain flowers hardly - if at all - grew in snowy leaf-bares. But it seemed she had been tasked with finding the impossible, and the impossible she would find. Regardless of WindClan's current reservations about their medicine cat, they still needed herbs to heal and a cat who knew how to - and one didn't come without the other. She was adamant to find this mysterious red round-petalled flower. At least they would be recognisable against the white snow.

It took walking up and down and around this hill for some time (and stars her toe-beans were freezing) but quite faintly she spotted what appeared to be a red flower in the distance. It was small but had red and round petals with a black centre... Though not all its petals were attached anymore, did that affect how many seeds it would give? Last she checked, the petals weren't the seeds and anything is something. She wiped the momentary grimace off her face and carefully plucked the flower. That made one poppy flower, though she'd rather find more. Surely, if there is one here, another might not be far away?


[ @Undertaker ]

[Undertaker]

@Estelle
Leechscar twitched an ear in acknowledgement to Silverpaw after she spoke. She quickly got busy hunting, and Leechscar padded off in the opposite direction. He forced his unwanted thoughts to the back of his mind, eyes scouring the hill green leaves. Sadly, Lightningstorm hadn't been all that descriptive with what burnet looked like or smelled like, but he figured he'd just grab the closest thing to it and hope for the best.

He wasn't sure how long he wandered, sniffing at what green remained in leafbare, padding back and forth across the hill. A harsh chill buried itself into the tom's bones by the time he located a bush with withered petals at the base that might have been purple at some point in time? It was hard to tell, but there oval-shaped leaves on it, so he went to pluck a single stalk with three leaves on it.

He didn't want to take any more in case it hampered their growth or something. If they needed more, he could always come back and search around for more. He made it sound easy, but actually nipping at the root was rather difficult with his chattering teeth. He had to dig around the snow covering it as well, and his toes actually ached a bit after.

When he finally got the stalk free he grunted and made his way back over to Silverpaw to see if she had any success with finding the poppy she was looking for. He really did not want to be out here any longer, although if there were failed patrols then he might be going out again after all. With Silverpaw, he guesses, since she decided she was coming with him whether he wanted her company or not. He was glad that she was so quiet and thus easy to deal with, otherwise he'd probably be snarling a lot more about her.

"Silverpaw, did you find some?" Leechscar called out spotting the she-cat's pelt some ways away. He was hoping she did, he wanted to warm out a little before having to go back outside. Hmm, maybe it was the weather that was also adding to his foul mood. He's never liked the cold.

[Estelle]

The layer of snow was entirely cold, and with those cursed moons among kittypets - or 'showcats' as that elder called them - she had such a lack of experience with snow. Who would have thought being cooped up in there those strange places all the time would have such a negative effect on anything other than her training... Silverpaw wasn't having it, no. And not only that, but this was such a sad poppy flower she was carrying, the still-apprentice refused to return without at least a second flower. Though this task may prove easier said than done, not that she expected it to be any different.

Not quite. The only comfort to this upcoming manual labour was that the snow, unlike the tunnel's dirt, was much cleaner. It certainly froze her paws and clung to her fur, but as she began pushing aside some layers of the white coat in an attempt to help her search, her paws weren't browning with dirt. Now, it can't be said she found much. Some dead plants and sad-looking grass... Her work appeared to be futile, had it not been for the single little red flower she finally uncovered after felt like another eternity of searching. It wasn't big, nor was it very... Well, alive-looking. Not compared to the one she already had. But it was something. And, truly, did seeds expire? She didn't know. Lightningstorm would have to be the judge of that.

Nipping at the stem, she picked up the second red-round-petalled flower just as Leechscar called her name. Her ears flicked and with a little huff the apprentice trotted back over, both flowers in maw - both flowers not the most alive looking, but passable for the season. Or so she hoped.
"Two, if their state allows."
She replied, eyes flicking to the greenery he was carrying. Seemed he had a bit more luck than her, in that regard.
"I don't reckon there is much more to be found out here."


[ @Undertaker ]

[Undertaker]

@Estelle
Leechscar watched as the apprentice returned with wilted flowers. His herb looked far better than hers. Seems he got lucky, despite the work he put into getting the plant... before he could go into a little rant there he twitched his ear. "I doubt we should take any more anyway." He replied sourly. "Come on, let's get back to camp," Leechscar ordered, right before grabbing his herb. The tom swiftly began the long journey back, something nagging at the back of his mind that he had forgotten about.

[Swiftheart <3]

Moonfall padded into the starry glade. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” She whispered. Then she looked around. “How about trying to hunt here?” She mummered to Duskpaw. @Ladiebugg

[Ian]

╔══════ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══════╗
Fallownose
╚══════ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══════╝

He barely registered the feeling of the snowflakes brushing against his pelt as he made his way to Starry Meadows. Fallownose's paws were numb and despite his fur being fluffed up the chill still seeped past his pelt and into his bones. With leaf-bare in full swing he hadn't been able to bring any flowers with him. Still, despite the snow covering the meadow and making everything look relatively the same, his paws led him to the same spot. He could probably find it with his eyes closed at this point.

Fallownose shook his pelt, scattering snowflakes even though he knew more would soon stick to him. With a quiet sigh he brushed some snow aside until he could see the grass. He paused for a moment, indecisive, before deflating as he sunk down onto his belly. The shock of the cold caused Fallownose to flinch, but it quickly faded to numbness as he tucked his paws underneath him.

He didn't know how long he laid there silently, lost in his thoughts. Fallownose glanced up at the sky as the snow continued to gently fall before his gaze returned to the ground in front of him. He had never spoken before, because then it would be real. Sitting in silence had always been enough for the deputy, but it wouldn't be anymore. It couldn't be. And he knew he was weak, for many others had lost more than he had. Stars, what would Twilightstar thing of him if she saw him now? After all she had been through, and here he was mourning while she continued to run an entire Clan.

"Berryfrost..." he started, voice raspy from the cold. "I don't... I can't." And it was true, wasn't it? Because Fallownose never could. "You should still be alive. Someone should have noticed. Cowtuft should have noticed. But no one did, and I don't know why. I don't know why he didn't trust me enough to tell me that he brought death berries into camp. I don't know how he didn't notice that some of them were missing. I don't how seven cats died and Peachfrost was exiled."

And that was the crux of the problem, wasn't it? Fallownose didn't know. He never knew. He didn't know Berryfrost was getting poisoned. He didn't know how angry Peachfrost would be. He didn't know where Bravebird had been after the fire. He didn't know where Basilkit, Ruekit, Thymekit, and Nettlekit were. He didn't know where Hazykit was. What did that say about him, that he never knew these things? If he had paid more attention, could he have stopped it? Could he have done something?

"I feel like I died too and they forgot to bury me with you. I've gone through the motions of doing my job, of being a good deputy, but I'm really not. I don't feel like it, at least. I don't feel much anymore. And the worst part is I think I might prefer that."

Fallownose paused, sucking in a shaky breath. These past few moons had been hard. Not just for him, but for everyone in WindClan. And yet here he was, taking time to himself while everyone else worked their asses off for the Clan. He knew he was pathetic. Fallownose didn't know what Twilightstar saw in him when she chose him for deputy all those moons ago. And he had to wonder if she was regretting it now.

"At what point is no longer worth it?" he whispered, turning his gaze to to the sky once more. He wanted to believe that StarClan was everything he had been told as kit. That Berryfrost was happy up there. And yet they had chosen ThunderClan after all the wrongs they had done to WindClan. There really was nothing left, was there?

"I'm sorry for disappointing you, daughter. I'm sorry for a lot of things, but I'm mostly sorry that you're gone and I'm not. I'm sorry that I've been so selfish and you're probably blaming yourself even though nothing is your fault. I'm sorry that I haven't been the deputy WindClan deserves and I'm sorry that there is no one left who cares."

Fallownose's words came out in a rush, and his chest was heaving slightly by the end. And despite it all he still didn't know how to feel. Better or worse? He wasn't sure that he would know what better was if Twilightstar hit him over the head with it. But then again, could it be worse than it was? He could be Dawnstar, so probably. But still.

"I don't think I can do this anymore."

And for the first time in a long time, Fallownose cried.