ShadowClan Territory

[yummyluc]

Originally Posted by king kaleb!

her tone seemed to hold no emotion in it, until the question was brought up. it was abrupt, daydream noticed, possibly a sense of urgency to it.they kept silent for a moment, slowing their steps so she could walk next to them, instead of behind them. they could've felt her gaze stare right through the back of their head. they wanted eye contact, they wanted something to read. they kept their amber gaze forward, before speaking,¨because you deserved to be saved.¨ they mewed. it wasnt because that they were a medicine cat that it was their duty.they were to heal with herbs, not physical force. daydream didnt have to, but they did, they made the choice to go back down into the flood despite being safe at the very top of the hill inorder to save another life. ¨i didnt need t know you. you couldve been a killer, or the worst being. but you deserved being saved, just as the any of us.¨ with this statement, they took a glance over at her, wanting to give the emphasis that they truly meant what they were saying. after they had saved her, they had almost lost their life. and because of that, they were left with both emotional and physical scars. but if you asked them over and over, they would tell you that they would do it over and over again if it meant that it was one more life they couldve saved. any life was above theirs.

the look daydream gave her shot through marshfur's chest like ice so harsh and electric that she could have flinched. however, she kept her gaze flat and monotone as ever. she pitied herself for following that tom. there had been nothing stopping her from keeping her paws planted and drowning like she should have in that flood. she pitied herself for a lot of things. the loss of her sister, the loss of her love interest. the loss of her self-worth and will to live. she never expressed it because she knew that for her own pity she would gain pity in return. but most of the time, she felt nothing. you give nothing out and you take nothing in, that's what she learned. it was almost shocking to know that she had once been a kind, sensitive, almost motherly figure at one point. perhaps, deep down, she was still herself. after all, why would she take this walk with a cat she hardly knew? she supposed it was because she felt she owed them something for saving her life.

that icy touch lingered in her heart for a moment before she willed it away. it was the first thing she'd felt in seasons, and she couldn't even tell whether it was good or bad anymore. again, she slowed down and followed a few steps behind daydream, almost as if she were afraid to meet their gaze again. she stared forward. she didn't have anything to say.

[graves]

Originally Posted by yummyluc

the look daydream gave her shot through marshfur's chest like ice so harsh and electric that she could have flinched. however, she kept her gaze flat and monotone as ever. she pitied herself for following that tom. there had been nothing stopping her from keeping her paws planted and drowning like she should have in that flood. she pitied herself for a lot of things. the loss of her sister, the loss of her love interest. the loss of her self-worth and will to live. she never expressed it because she knew that for her own pity she would gain pity in return. but most of the time, she felt nothing. you give nothing out and you take nothing in, that's what she learned. it was almost shocking to know that she had once been a kind, sensitive, almost motherly figure at one point. perhaps, deep down, she was still herself. after all, why would she take this walk with a cat she hardly knew? she supposed it was because she felt she owed them something for saving her life.

that icy touch lingered in her heart for a moment before she willed it away. it was the first thing she'd felt in seasons, and she couldn't even tell whether it was good or bad anymore. again, she slowed down and followed a few steps behind daydream, almost as if she were afraid to meet their gaze again. she stared forward. she didn't have anything to say.

"I dont pity you, though." they stated, turning their gaze away from her and focusing on the trail ahead. they were good with things like this, even with the most unreadable cat. maybe they had some sort of sixth sense, or maybe it was just because of their rank. but everyone had something down there. everyone did. even if it didnt seem like she did at the moment, they knew. "Feeling sorry for someone is insulting. the emotion is so bland and does nothing for both parties but make it a sobfest. feeling empathy is something different." feeling empathy meant you could walk in someone elses shoes and try to grasp what they are feeling, to grasp their reality and understand it. and thats what they were going to try to do. "I have empathy for you, i can grasp your concept of reality." they could see disstress from a mile away. they understood the feeling to well. they understood what it was like to have a night full of rest yet still feel tired. to feel suffocated even when youre out in the open, to have no will to live. it was their reality, too. they were getting better with it though. they still had miles to walk regarding improvement, but marshfur reminded them of themself. they had been told every supportive word in the book by cats, but now they truly understood how it felt, now being in the situation. They knew she didnt want live anymore. they could tell by the way she was in the flood. she went limp in their grasp, basically silently begging to let her go. but they wouldnt, they couldnt. "I would save you again."

[fresh]

Originally Posted by Charmer

@blue jellie

Nightpaw continued licking Snowpaw's wounds even after they were clean, all the while watching as Daydream did their work, chewing herbs, smearing them all over the wounds, and wrapping them with cobwebs and yet more herbs. Daydream's instructions to Snowpaw to stay awake were as good as commands from Starclan itself as far she she was concerned. Still snuggling as close as she could the the white shecat without getting in the medicine cat's way, she lifted her paw to gently bat at Snowpaw's ears and face. "Stay awake Snowpaw!" Nightpaw meowed, bopping her friend on the nose with her pad.

[ @king kaleb! ]

As Snowpaw shook the drowsiness from her mind- or, at least, Nightpaw did it for her- she purred a little bit. "That's a- a funny way to k-keep me awake, Nightpaw," she rasped, trying desperately to find optimism in the situation. "I'll be okay, right?" Turning her hopeful gaze on the medicine cat, she whispered, "Right?"

[yummyluc]

Originally Posted by king kaleb!

"I dont pity you, though." they stated, turning their gaze away from her and focusing on the trail ahead. they were good with things like this, even with the most unreadable cat. maybe they had some sort of sixth sense, or maybe it was just because of their rank. but everyone had something down there. everyone did. even if it didnt seem like she did at the moment, they knew. "Feeling sorry for someone is insulting. the emotion is so bland and does nothing for both parties but make it a sobfest. feeling empathy is something different." feeling empathy meant you could walk in someone elses shoes and try to grasp what they are feeling, to grasp their reality and understand it. and thats what they were going to try to do. "I have empathy for you, i can grasp your concept of reality." they could see disstress from a mile away. they understood the feeling to well. they understood what it was like to have a night full of rest yet still feel tired. to feel suffocated even when youre out in the open, to have no will to live. it was their reality, too. they were getting better with it though. they still had miles to walk regarding improvement, but marshfur reminded them of themself. they had been told every supportive word in the book by cats, but now they truly understood how it felt, now being in the situation. They knew she didnt want live anymore. they could tell by the way she was in the flood. she went limp in their grasp, basically silently begging to let her go. but they wouldnt, they couldnt. "I would save you again."

if marshfur could feel angry, she probably would have. not necessarily at daydream, she understood that they were only trying to help her get out of the camp for once. more for herself. she had no right to feel such pity and disgust for herself, it was her only defence mechanism though. she wanted to scoff, but get the feeling out of her words.

" you're a medicine cat. that's your job. " the words almost came out in the form of a growl, taking on a more hostile tone than what had once been her flat, emotionless meow. she hadn't noticed how her claws had begun to upturn the dirt beneath her paws, or how her movements turned from robotic and programmed to something almost irritated and sharp. but what she said was true, daydream was just a medicine cat. it was their job to save cats. she knew they hated it, they always seemed happier when they dabbled in training with the warriors, so perhaps they only saved cats to keep the guilt off of their shoulders. not because they wanted them to survive or because they thought that they deserved it, but because if they didn't they would probably die of guilt. that's what marshfur thought.

[Charmer]

Originally Posted by .:Blue Wishes:.

Goldenstar was mostly relying on Nightpaw and the strength in his good legs to lead him along. “You pretty much said it for yourself,” he sighed. “I can handle myself, Daydream has their paws full without me coming in and complaining about a sore leg,” he shrugged. He had time to recover, other cats didn’t. Daydream, yes, they could handle themselves, but Golden didn’t want to be a burden, especially in leaf-bare. He continued to pad, realizing how far away from the camp they had actually walked.

Nightpaw thought over her mentor's words. She supposed as the leader of the clan, he had a lot of responsibility to the cats he led. There must be a lot of pressure to be ok, even if he didn't feel it, to let other cats have healing herbs at the cost of his own health. She thought for a second about how lonely it must be, living somehow above the rest of the cats of the clan. "I guess that makes sense..." The black shecat's eyes trailed off, looking at Goldenstar's back leg. "But it also doesn't make sense for you to get more hurt..." Nightpaw's voice tailed off as she thought silently for a second. Then her ears perked as she had a thought, and quick as a flash, she dove underneath Goldenstar and stood up straight, lifting the leader on her back. "Now this does make sense!" The shecat meowed triumphantly, padding toward camp. "Look Goldenstar! It's like how we met, but backwards!" she meowed happily, puffing as she journeyed on.

[graves]

Originally Posted by yummyluc

if marshfur could feel angry, she probably would have. not necessarily at daydream, she understood that they were only trying to help her get out of the camp for once. more for herself. she had no right to feel such pity and disgust for herself, it was her only defence mechanism though. she wanted to scoff, but get the feeling out of her words.

" you're a medicine cat. that's your job. " the words almost came out in the form of a growl, taking on a more hostile tone than what had once been her flat, emotionless meow. she hadn't noticed how her claws had begun to upturn the dirt beneath her paws, or how her movements turned from robotic and programmed to something almost irritated and sharp. but what she said was true, daydream was just a medicine cat. it was their job to save cats. she knew they hated it, they always seemed happier when they dabbled in training with the warriors, so perhaps they only saved cats to keep the guilt off of their shoulders. not because they wanted them to survive or because they thought that they deserved it, but because if they didn't they would probably die of guilt. that's what marshfur thought.

Her words made daydream stop in their tracks. is that all they were to some cats? just a medicine cat? they were more than that, much, much more than a simple rank name. they closed their eyes in frustration. they gritted their teeth as they spoke,"I heal with plants, i dont need to be risking my life. that wasnt the job I signed up for, but i saved you anyway. I wouldve saved any cat." their voice was low and serious, but they didnt have an aggressive tone, they held themselves back from making snarky remarks. "I am more than just a medicine cat, I am more than just a simple heal with some leaves," they opened their eyes now, turning their amber orbs into herbs,"I am a person, a cat with just as much emotion as you even if you wont get over yourself to show it. I have empathy, and i would risk my life again if it meant you would get to breath for another moment, and i would do the same thing as a warrior, or a deputy, and so on. if you want to label it as my job to make yourself fall deeper than go ahead, but its beyond that. Id save you again if i had to." after their little rant, they started walking again, still slow for marshfur to keep up the pace with them. they werent angry, just a bit frustrated, but they meant what they said, and to them, they called out the truth. even if marshfur thought she was emotionless and unreadable, daydream found it easy to read through a cat that reminded them of themselves. they stopped once they were a bit ahead, turning to make sure she was following,"were almost there."

[yummyluc]

Originally Posted by king kaleb!

Her words made daydream stop in their tracks. is that all they were to some cats? just a medicine cat? they were more than that, much, much more than a simple rank name. they closed their eyes in frustration. they gritted their teeth as they spoke,"I heal with plants, i dont need to be risking my life. that wasnt the job I signed up for, but i saved you anyway. I wouldve saved any cat." their voice was low and serious, but they didnt have an aggressive tone, they held themselves back from making snarky remarks. "I am more than just a medicine cat, I am more than just a simple heal with some leaves," they opened their eyes now, turning their amber orbs into herbs,"I am a person, a cat with just as much emotion as you even if you wont get over yourself to show it. I have empathy, and i would risk my life again if it meant you would get to breath for another moment, and i would do the same thing as a warrior, or a deputy, and so on. if you want to label it as my job to make yourself fall deeper than go ahead, but its beyond that. Id save you again if i had to." after their little rant, they started walking again, still slow for marshfur to keep up the pace with them. they werent angry, just a bit frustrated, but they meant what they said, and to them, they called out the truth. even if marshfur thought she was emotionless and unreadable, daydream found it easy to read through a cat that reminded them of themselves. they stopped once they were a bit ahead, turning to make sure she was following,"were almost there."

the only thing marshfur could do was stop and blink slowly as daydream went on their little rant. normally, marshfur would have just stared at her and blocked it out, say she understood and moved on. that's how it had always been. "oh, you're doing fine! look on the bright side of things!" she would scoff in her head but nod and politely say thank you. "are you okay? you know i'm here for you!" she would force a nod and say she needed to go. it all meant so much nothing to her, her response to those kinds of comments were practically programmed into her brain at this point. but daydream wasn't saying that. they weren't saying what everyone always said. they weren't saying what marshfur heard daily and couldn't bother to believe anymore. daydream was saying what marshfur needed to hear, not what they thought she wanted to hear. she needed to hear something realistic, something down to earth. something harsh and down to earth, and daydream was saying exactly that. marshfur was hearing that she needed to get over her self and stop throwing herself a pity party every single time something went wrong in her life. she needed to be down to earth. the words were sinking in, not being passed off as something that everyone always said. she wouldn't realise everything here and now, but what daydream was saying was enough to get marshfur to furrow her brows. it was a tiny, minuscule reaction, but pulling the muscles into place was different for marshfur and she felt her facial expression change for the first time in seasons. when daydream turned and continued to walk, she found she couldn't follow immediately. instead, she drew her eyes to the ground and stared at it for the longest time. her legs moved before she even looked up to follow daydream, still having difficulty registering what exactly the overgrown furball made of pure spite had actually meant. rather passive aggressive, their words.

[:blue:]

Originally Posted by Charmer

Nightpaw thought over her mentor's words. She supposed as the leader of the clan, he had a lot of responsibility to the cats he led. There must be a lot of pressure to be ok, even if he didn't feel it, to let other cats have healing herbs at the cost of his own health. She thought for a second about how lonely it must be, living somehow above the rest of the cats of the clan. "I guess that makes sense..." The black shecat's eyes trailed off, looking at Goldenstar's back leg. "But it also doesn't make sense for you to get more hurt..." Nightpaw's voice tailed off as she thought silently for a second. Then her ears perked as she had a thought, and quick as a flash, she dove underneath Goldenstar and stood up straight, lifting the leader on her back. "Now this does make sense!" The shecat meowed triumphantly, padding toward camp. "Look Goldenstar! It's like how we met, but backwards!" she meowed happily, puffing as she journeyed on.

Goldenstar simply shrugged, not knowing how to explain it. He already knew how Daydream was mad at him about the war, and that made him feel even worse. “Hey, I don’t try to get hurt,” He said, smiling, though it was more forced then anything. He watched the She-Cat, and, honestly, a yelp nearly escaped his mouth, but he ended up laughing instead. “Now this is something you don’t have to do,” He said, though he was smiling. Nightpaw, well, he couldn’t describe how amazed he was, how she could do this. Not that it was out of the range of possibility, it was just sort of unexpected, to say the least. Nodding as Nightpaw spoke, “Well, I suppose so,” he purred.

[graves]

Originally Posted by yummyluc

the only thing marshfur could do was stop and blink slowly as daydream went on their little rant. normally, marshfur would have just stared at her and blocked it out, say she understood and moved on. that's how it had always been. "oh, you're doing fine! look on the bright side of things!" she would scoff in her head but nod and politely say thank you. "are you okay? you know i'm here for you!" she would force a nod and say she needed to go. it all meant so much nothing to her, her response to those kinds of comments were practically programmed into her brain at this point. but daydream wasn't saying that. they weren't saying what everyone always said. they weren't saying what marshfur heard daily and couldn't bother to believe anymore. daydream was saying what marshfur needed to hear, not what they thought she wanted to hear. she needed to hear something realistic, something down to earth. something harsh and down to earth, and daydream was saying exactly that. marshfur was hearing that she needed to get over her self and stop throwing herself a pity party every single time something went wrong in her life. she needed to be down to earth. the words were sinking in, not being passed off as something that everyone always said. she wouldn't realise everything here and now, but what daydream was saying was enough to get marshfur to furrow her brows. it was a tiny, minuscule reaction, but pulling the muscles into place was different for marshfur and she felt her facial expression change for the first time in seasons. when daydream turned and continued to walk, she found she couldn't follow immediately. instead, she drew her eyes to the ground and stared at it for the longest time. her legs moved before she even looked up to follow daydream, still having difficulty registering what exactly the overgrown furball made of pure spite had actually meant. rather passive aggressive, their words.

There were no herbs that would heal marshfur, there were no combinations of leaves and roots to make her feel better, there were no remedies or ointments to provide a smile to her face. to plant could help her. but again, being a medicine cat was more than that. it was understanding how the mind worked, how it functioned. how it reacted and took things, and handling them a certain way. most cats, daydream assumed, had given up on the molly simply because she was difficult. but when you were faced with another difficult and stubborn cat, you found yourself in a tussle. they knew how marshfur worked, and that was probably going to frustrate her. having someone finally understand. it was only so easy because daydream felt the same way. they were similar in a lot of ways, really. daydream had disowned their mother and most of their family. they watched their best friend get murdered and no cat in riverclan give a damn. they watched their adoptive mother go missing without a trace without even the consideration of a search party. they felt alone. and because of that, they were bitter everything and snapped at most cats. while marshfur didnt snap at cats, she became emotionless, whihc is just a different way of handling things. they were stubborn and wouldnt settle for it, they were going to save her again.

[yummyluc]

Originally Posted by king kaleb!

There were no herbs that would heal marshfur, there were no combinations of leaves and roots to make her feel better, there were no remedies or ointments to provide a smile to her face. to plant could help her. but again, being a medicine cat was more than that. it was understanding how the mind worked, how it functioned. how it reacted and took things, and handling them a certain way. most cats, daydream assumed, had given up on the molly simply because she was difficult. but when you were faced with another difficult and stubborn cat, you found yourself in a tussle. they knew how marshfur worked, and that was probably going to frustrate her. having someone finally understand. it was only so easy because daydream felt the same way. they were similar in a lot of ways, really. daydream had disowned their mother and most of their family. they watched their best friend get murdered and no cat in riverclan give a damn. they watched their adoptive mother go missing without a trace without even the consideration of a search party. they felt alone. and because of that, they were bitter everything and snapped at most cats. while marshfur didnt snap at cats, she became emotionless, whihc is just a different way of handling things. they were stubborn and wouldnt settle for it, they were going to save her again.

marshfur shook her head and scoffed inwardly. she didn't doubt the medicine cat's wisdom by any means, she was aware of how much daydream had been through personally, but she wasn't ready to admit how right they were. they had struck more than just one nerve in their little spiel, and that's what really rubbed marshfur the wrong way. couldn't they have just left her to pity herself and die? couldn't they have just minded their own business? marshfur scowled at her own thoughts. selfish, she was. denying help because she felt so sorry for herself she couldn't see how everything around her wasn't that bad anymore. her sister had died so long ago, along with her parents, and her love. the near-death experience had brought everything back to the boiling point. she could have died, saved everyone the trouble, and ended it. that's what she should have done is what had crowded her thoughts, it was why she had been so bitter recently. she had just wanted to go but this... this stupid, idiotic cat had to have the gall to save her. she wanted to be selfish. she had spent her whole life living for others, when this chance had been ripped from her paws despite how truly horrid the thought was, she felt betrayed. something, a decision, that was finally her's and it was taken away. that's what she had really been thinking about, the real reason behind her bitterness. she didn't want to admit it though, it made her feel so pathetic. it made her wish daydream had never seen that tom attempting to save her, had never stepped down from the hill to save her. she wasn't the calm, respectable warrior she had once been. she had let it wither away, along with her self-respect. she couldn't but think that... couldn't help but think that perhaps she should be grateful. she followed daydream's pawsteps silently, face portraying nothing as always, but you could practically see the dread coming off of her in waves.