[lone]

Originally Posted by Celestial

Good at being a shadowclanner? What does that mean?! He's attacking my clan now, how low of a fish breathed riverclan cat! she looked frustrated but no words came out she only stood with her tail raised flagging in the wind and her claws flexing in their place. The word love made her tail curl and her stomach flip completely. Mocking me now? Is that how low he's stooped? a hiss rolled off her tongue but her whiskers twitched with amusment flicking her ears back. Not the only one who can get up in my face! she leaned closer to him feeling hepis breath on her muzzle before he pulled away, the sensation of being so close fading, she almost seemed to miss it. Her disappointment spreading across her face than returning in a fluster of anger, the feeling of the secret relationship stung like crazy now that she had only a taste. Even if the movement it had been in vain, she still missed the sound of his breathing so close, his whiskers nearly brushing hers. She flicked her ears and recoiled from the border as he pulled away. Such foolish feelings.

"You think your so smart, charmpelt?" she was genuinely asking now. Perhaps it was just her thinking she was right or maybe she just couldn't see wether or not she was being unreasonable. Her tail curled again by her side than began to slowly lash, "your trying to make me feel bad when you think I've bested you at your own game? Was it not your plan to dump me like those other fuzz brained she cats? All those admirers huh, you could have chosen anybody" she spat her hackles easing as memories flashed in her gaze. "Perhaps your not hearing me clearly, I tried to get rid of you I really did. In the start and than I found something just so- irritable about you that I couldn't leave alone" she said with a loud hiss that rumbled from her throat. "I did really love you, now you push me away when I tried to ensure we weren't caught?" she said her emotions cracking her voice to crack with pain. She looked over her shoulder back at the pine trees looming just over the hill. Her problems would be left here on the border if she abandon him to his own thoughts, though she couldn't really handle letting him slip through her paws.

She glanced back at him, her eyes blazing with anger yet her face holding a smirk. "you can be so irritating sometimes you know that?" she spat claws flexing and scraping over the snow and ice below her. She screwed up her face trying to block out his words, he's lying, you where saving us, you where! He's just the liar... He just can't see it! she pinned her ears to the back of her head again but stepped forward defiantly stepping over the border. "You think you've figured this out? Have you ever thought to consider what our discovery could have meant for both of us? We'd be driven from our clans tails between our legs!" she howled slamming her paw down into the snow sending a flurry of snowflakes into the air. "I was trying to be normal, to avoid discovery with an easy tom! Now I bear his kits I don't want!" she responded and venomous sting in her voice. "I wanted your kits charmepelt! I wanted yours more than anything! I wanted to use that stupid cat as cover! And I messed up..." she paused her voice cracking again and the defianc in her gaze dispearing.

Suddenly the sparkle in her eyes returned and she barked out harsh laughter. "Broke your heart? I was trying to keep is together and guess what... You misinterpreted what this was. He was cover... That's all he ever was to me" she said with an angered snarl spinning around to look away for a brief moment before shutting her eyes and turning back. "Perhaps it's hard for your small mind to wrap around, charmpelt, but I was in love with you and I didn't wanna break your heart. You think I'm the monster but you were going to turn around and do it to me first! Oh starclan forbid I repeat your previous actions!!" she shouted into his face before looking back over her shoulder and closed her eyes for a long moment than took another deepened breath.

Her words fell on deaf ears. Charmpelt couldn't hear her apology, he couldn't hear anything but what he wanted to. He could only hear things that didn't sound right, that sounded wrong to him. Shiverlight's voice was coming out in a way that was... different. It was almost rough, metallic-sounding to him, and slower. The world around him was slower. His stomach hurt, his eyes were blurred with unshed tears, and yet he still couldn't put his pride aside and admit that perhaps Shiverlight was right. "Please, don't - don't tell me that. Don't ever use that word in front of me again. If I thought you really loved me, then... things would be different. Maybe. But you can't, Shiverlight - even if you did, it's wrong to your mate. You have a mate. So love him. And if you can't, then at least try to."

He was worn out. Tired of fighting, his throat raw from yelling, and his stance relaxing - or drooping - now that he felt like he had just fought a hundred battles. It felt like Charmpelt couldn't have gone two steps without falling down now. For him, this was the worst thing that could have happened. Perhaps, if he didn't love her, he would have tricked her. Said "forget your mate, don't you want to be with me?" But he couldn't do that now... because he cared too much. He couldn't just use her until she got old, then send her running back to her mate. He needed to cut off all ties with her now, because if he could, then she could start a new life. One where she would never worry about being caught. One where she would have a good mate, and a good family. Charmpelt... well... he wasn't sure he could give her anything like that. Her next words took that utter depression from him and pushed it away, made him angrier then before, and for a moment - he felt like his old self again.

He felt like snarling, like putting the blame on every other cat, like making sure Shiverlight knew just how bad she was by doing something like this to him. He knew that there was a way he could make her feel worse, and perhaps he would have used it... perhaps. But surprisingly, what he said next was not the worst thing that entered his mind. "You don't know that! You don't know that we would have been driven out, you don't know who would have been the one to discover it! Has it ever occured to you, ShadowClanner, that there's a way we could have made this work?" Charmpelt asked, his eyes dark and dangerous and furious, his tail lashing back and forth, stance tense and ready to spring at any second as he questioned the she cat. Shiverlight. She broke his heart, she made him feel things he hadn't in moons, and now she had the audacity to come back here and face him? But then she spoke again, and there was a crack in her voice that Charmpelt could only describe as matching the one in his heart.

For a moment, all anger disappeared and he wanted to step across the border and comfort her. To make everything okay again. Oh, what had happened to the days when he could just flirt with her without a care? Now he cared too much... and he needed to make sure that she was okay. That he hadn't really hurt her. "I'm sorry." It was all he could say right then, and the words were spoken calmly, carefully. What else could he say? Charmpelt could be nothing but sorry, and he wanted to help Shiverlight. "What can I do... to fix this." The words were phrased as a statement, not a question, but he meant it as one. He didn't even take note of her anger, shrugging it off as he watched the she cat he loved.

The she cat who... said she loved him. It was a little hard for him to believe, but there was no time for doubts now. The only thing there was time for was fixing this. It needed to be done. If Charmpelt could fix a broken relationship, one that didn't have much chance of surviving... perhaps there was something right he could do. And then he could move on, from Shiverlight, knowing that she was happy with her new mate and family. It would be absolutely perfect.