[Mango]

Elmpaw heaved a sigh in relief as he reached the Seastones. I just needed to get out of Riverclan camp, I'm Shadowclan...This storm has changed me so much. Why aren't I logically or sensible anymore, I use to think I was fearless? Elmpaw puzzled. Before the storm. Elmpaw was the apprentice trying to solve problems and thought he had no sense of fear. He could remain calm while a badger was in camp or a fox was attacking his brother he could stay in the tree and calmly tell his brother what to do, his heart didn't even start pounding while doing that. He also didn't understand goofing off, romanance or fun. Yet in the flood he fell in love with a young she-cat during the flood and was goofing around with Gingerpaw and Dungpaw while traveling towards Riverclan and while in Riverclan he felt terrorized of every Riverclanner. He hated his change. Dungpaw got braver and I became a coward...no fair...well that's life I guess.. he wasn't thinking logically part of him wanted to end his life right then and now...Maybe in Starclan I'll be back to my old self...but what if I'm not and my brother is so happy with his change I can't bring him back to his old self. What if I'm not back to my old self then, that'd be a waste of my life...I could save Dungpaw the misery of sorrow by telling him I'm leaving the clan to become a kittypet and then after he waves me off and believes I'm walking to the twoleg place then I can kill myself...I'll give it a moon to see if I adjust to being like this atleast...giving my lack of logic and sense of fear a shot at life, I mean, love Could be fun, I guess...