[AbsurdJinx]

Originally Posted by Duskflight

{Jeez I am so sorry about how late this reply is x.x"}

As patient as ever, the tom, after speaking to her, remained quiet knowing that sometimes things simply needed to sort themselves out, she needed to be the one to tell her mind to calm down because it wouldn't matter what he said, in the end it was her who had to be the one to calm herself back down. Grousestar could only help but so much, but he would most certainly try his best to help as much as he could. The tom couldn't imagine the whirlwind of fear that was going on in her mind right now, but he knew it couldn't be good, he couldn't imagine the thoughts that were there in her mind, be he guessed that they could be ones of frustration, or of denial, ones that berated herself. He could talk all he wanted, but again, in the end, it would have to be her who stops these thoughts.

With his attention focused on the bird, he swiveled his left ear just slightly, noticing that her breaths were starting to become more stable, hoping that this was a sign that she was beating her mental demons, that she was overcoming this small breakdown, knowing that she was a strong cat, that she just didn't know it yet. But meanwhile, he spoke about the bird, allowing himself to become nearly entranced by it, fascinated by it and truly admiring it just like he always did. He wished that he could be as graceful, as elegant as that bird, to have the wisdom of it that only a bird could have. Many cats didn't like to think of them as anything but prey, but he saw them as fragile messengers that spoke and flew with the wind, telling warnings of rain, of danger, of anything going on in the forest with their own language that in its own were songs.

As the sunlight hit the black part of the birds feathers, a beautiful, glossy purple seemed to reflect the light back, making the creature even more beautiful in the leaders eyes, causing his smile to brighten considerably as the creature cawed out in it's strange language. Everything about that bird, everything, was beautiful to Grousestar. The way it moved, the colors, the way the light flooded over it's glossy feathers to give it a touch of new color, the way it's beaks and eyes set it apart from it's otherwise black body and even the way it spoke. It wasn't like the song of other birds, it was solely unique to that single species, the small series of chirps, the four whistles that increased in pitch in the last two whistles and the way the calls seemed to fill the forest after just one lets out a single chirp. The entire thing was amazing to him and he found it a shame that not everyone could truly admire the beautify of this bird, or any bird in general.
The blackbird turned on the branch, calling out into the forest, it's wings opening as if it thought about taking off before folding back to it's side and the bird turning back around on the branch, cocking it's head at the two cats in the training grounds.

Grousestar's ears swiveled as he heard Featherpaw speak up, his head turning slightly and his gentle green eyes focusing on her, allowing her to finish before turning his gaze back up to the bird.
"I once wanted to be a bird too. So that I could fly wherever I wanted, as free as ever, and speak in song, warning others of danger." And sometimes, the brown tabby still thought about his naive desire to be a bird, fond memories of his kithood, imagining that he was a raven and making silly chirping sounds as he raced around his mother, pretending that was flying and warning other birds of a cat in the forest. The thought brought a fond smile to his muzzle, his whiskers quivering a bit as he recollected the memory.

[ No, it's fine! Don't worry about it, honestly. c= ]

Featherpaw stared at the bird in wonder as it's gaze rested on her and her mentor.It's gaze was piercing, like it knew something she did not. She couldn't help but meet it's prying eyes, searching for something that was not there. She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath during her staring match with the bird, and she was quick to exhale. Holding her breath reminded her of her previous episode of panic, and she didn't want to think about that. She couldn't even bear looking at Grousestar who had experienced her internal attack; embarrassment kept her from looking at him. So when he spoke, she kept her gaze on the bird.

Featherpaw allowed a weak smile when he admitted he once shared her wants. But her smile faltered when she told herself he simply made up that story - perhaps so she wouldn't explain any further, or because he wanted the conversation to end quicker. Deciding to help him, she murmured hoarsely, ``Why d-don't we start training?`` Although she wasn't exactly eager to jump back into the thing that caused her attack, she was uncomfortable talking with someone - especially someone who preferred not to talk to her. That's everyone, she reminded herself. Featherpaw did, though, want to end the session - for Grousestar's sake. It couldn't be good for him to be with someone like herself.

Overpowering her fear of moving, Featherpaw shuffled away from Grousestar, removing her gaze from the bird. Now, her gaze was locked on her forepaws which shifted on the ground uneasily. She stood a tail-length or so from her mentor, much too fearful of moving to move any more. Although she asked the tomcat to begin training again, she wasn't ready to. Her reasons for everything she chose to do were complex - too complicated to explain. But she knew that even if she wasn't ready to train, she wanted the session to be finished. She wanted to return to Camp and curl in her nest, dreaming of being an animal of flight. Dreaming of flying away from all her fears, flying away from everything that brought her pain.