[lone]

Originally Posted by lost

Lostpaw squeaked in alarm as she was suddenly the one being pinned. She was still a bit distracted by the conversation they had, leaving her defenseless. Badgerpaw had managed to get her in a difficult to escape pin, and she took in a deep breath. Again she found herself wishing that she could see him, so she could stare up at his face and admire his features. Wrinkling her nose slightly, she shoved that thought into the back of her mind. She didn't need to get distracted by her feelings for him.
"You won't get the best of me!" She gasped out suddenly, starting to squirm beneath him. She didn't know how she was going to escape, and only hoped he somehow messed up and let her free.
While she moved she tried to get a read of what he was feeling, but she could sense nothing. Him being over her was too distracting, as she kept thinking of what could be. Maybe if she said something... But no, she wouldn't do that.
He clearly didn't have feelings for her, as his actions revealed that. It hurt, knowing he didn't feel the same way, but with time she would move on. He was her best friend, and that's what really mattered. They would always be there for each other, and that's all the really mattered. She wanted him to be in her life, it didn't matter how. As long as he was there for her, and she was there for him, she would learn to get over her feelings.
Finally she was able to forget about her feelings for now, and started to focus on her predicament of being stuck beneath him. Lostpaw had to figure out how to free herself, because her squirming had done nothing in her favor.

Badgerpaw felt almost bad about her squirming beneath him. Part of him didn't like it - it made him feel like he was hurting her, pinning her down against her will, and then another part of him could have stayed just like that forever. Looking down at her, he felt like he had already memorized every part of her features. Like he would know her anywhere, whether it was in a crowd of hundreds or across the empty clearing. Through the trees in the territory. Anywhere he would know Lostpaw, and wherever she was, he would go to her. You're beautiful. He wanted to tell her, but he was afraid to.
　
Life is full of risks, she had said. But which ones were the ones he was willing to take? And which were better left alone? Slowly, he had been relaxing his guard and eventually he just... got off of her. Taking a deep breath, he gently brought her upwards - keeping the contact this time. "I don't want to pin you down, and I don't want to... hurt you in any way." He meant it in more ways then one, but what else was he supposed to do?
　
"I never want to see you struggle."
　
Because it hurt. It hurt a lot, and he hated the feeling that it gave him. He'd felt helpless, even though all it took was one movement - that one movement to get off of her. He had felt worried and sick and lost even though all he had had to do was get off of the pretty feline. And more then ever, Badgerpaw was glad that Lostpaw was okay. I really, really like you. He'd come so close to telling her, and yet the words wouldn't leave his tongue. Once more he was tongue tied, and he hated it. Why did he have to be so close and yet so far away? The tom felt as though he could have cried - he could almost feel his eyes welling up with tears, the water in them stinging the corners of his eyes, but he didn't want to.
　
Everything was so confusing at this point in life. Young love was confusing. Having a crush at this young age seemed dangerous, it was new territory, it was unexplored territory. And Badgerpaw was not a fan of things that were unfamiliar. Life might be full of risks, but he needed to learn on his own which ones were okay to take and which ones you should turn away. He'd taken a risk a little while ago. Everything he had said had come so close to the truth and it had sounded so weird in their game. What was wrong with him? It was just a game. He wanted to go back to playing, and at the same time, he didn't feel like it. He had never felt more hollow... or more complete. Opposites, and yet he felt both at the same time. His chest felt hollow at some times, complete at others. What was with that?
　
The tom didn't know, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to. He was afraid to tell Lostpaw anything about this crush of his. And so it would remain hidden, remain far away, until he was ready to let her know how he really felt. Until he was able to know for sure.