Quote:
Originally Posted by king kaleb!
hearing her words, how she felt so proud of them, how it seemed she meant them, only made her emotionless wall crumble. she kept her eyes closed, breaths growing more and more shallow as she kept talking. it only made things she didnt want to resurface, resurface. everyone handled things differently. everyone couldnt look past their history and have the strength to move on. some people were still in the mental place they were when they lost it. they were still in the mental place they were when she left fallingheart. when the molly she loved had disowned her for being who she wanted to be. for trying to be comfortable in her own skin. she she became emotionless, she didnt let people see her happy anymore. afterall, what was the point when they would eventually hurt you in the end? spiderflight was only proving her point that more cats would hurt her. that they would point out her flaws just as she was doing right now, and make fun of her for it. to mock her. but still, her view point stands. she would have still would have fled in the battle. because she would never kill another vat. she would have never sunk down to that level, but it that what spiderflight viewed her as? as that low of a person? it stung. she wouldnt let anyone see her like that. she open up to anyone like that. she wouldnt be herself. instead, she would be emotionless and aggressive like spiderflight said she was, because thats all she was meant to be.
when she opened her eyes they were watery, green eyes no longer holding the same aggression and fire that they held a few moments ago. she knew nothing, nothing of what they went through. but that doesnt matter, does it? it doesnt matter what a person could have gone through, it was easy to label them, right? thats all she was, right? she dug her claws into the snow, feeling the bitterness melt between her toes and cause it to burn. it suddenly felt extremely cold as the freezing fog of the pong between them seeped through the threads of her fur. this wasnt fun and game anymore, it wasnt funny anymore. whatever smile spiderflight had on her face simply made the molly feel sick to her stomach on how a cat could be so cold. she was silent for awhile before she finally, spoke with a cracked voice.
"you know nothing." |
how broken fallingheart sounded could have ripped spiderflight's chest in two. just moments ago it had been emotionless and cold. she visibly flinched at the last syllable as her bold stance faltered. her grin faded and that look in her eye was nowhere to be seen. had she... had she really struck a chord? they were just taunts, just words she put in her mouth. that's what she told everyone to get under their skin. spiderflight hadn't meant anything by it than to chip away at the emotionless wall fallingheart put up, to get a reaction. she never meant to actually hurt her, and somehow that made it worse. knowing that she couldn't apologise and make it sincere. she couldn't say anything and have fallingheart take it in now. well, other than some other mouse-brained insult.
swallowing thickly, her brows furrowed and she stared at the molly across the water for a long time. her body twitched as if struggling to stop itself from leaping across the water and apologising profusely. yes, spiderflight made cats angry. she irritated them to no end and often made them so frustrated that they stormed off, cursing her to starclan and back. it wasn't uncommon, that was her reputation in the clan, and she was fine with it. to be known as a nuisance. but... spiderflight had never made a cat cry. never actually hit a nerve, never struck where it really hit. had she done that with fallingheart? she turned her gaze to the crystalised, icy water in front of her and stared at herself for the longest time. she didn't know what she saw, but it... it wasn't a good choice in character. why was she feeling like this? she had made plenty of cats cry in frustration and damn-near attack her but this was... different.
this was different because not only did spiderflight chip away at fallingheart's wall, she completely shattered it. the words 'i'm sorry' began to form in her throat and on her lips, but she stopped herself. fallingheart wouldn't accept it. not right now. she tried to say something, anything, else but found that she couldn't. what else could she say? there was nothing else. besides, even if spiderflight managed to say something, fallingheart was... emotional now. spiderflight had dug much deeper with her words than her claws ever could. she didn't know what to do so she just stood there and stared.